Making a difference
by Random Char clone
Summary: This is the anti "second chance" story. Be careful what you wish for, for you just may get it.
1. Welcome to the universe

**WELCOME TO THE UNIVERSE**

And so the time has come, it's here  
The silence ends, a change is near  
You wait in the pallid, slivered sky  
Come into the pantheon

Welcome to the universe  
(This night)

If there's a past into the clear  
We better take the pace  
Erase this face  
In constant search for everything

You wait in the pallid, slivered sky  
Come into the pantheon

Welcome to the universe  
A new day has begun

November 12th 2055, a cold winter's night, and Rei Ayanami found herself groggily stumbling out of a sleep. Looking at the alarm clock, her hopes dropped. It was three in the morning. As the blue-haired beauty sat up in bed the unfortunate realization that this would be the extent of her sleep this night fell heavily upon her. As Rei rested her forehead on alabaster knees, sitting silently for the better part of an hour, a perplexing dream began to come back in random flashes.

Asuka being torn limb from limb by living shadows, while Shinji loomed over her, laughing, and other horrid scenes strobe by at an ever quickening pace until they all became jumbled and incoherent. Getting out of bed, the cold floor sent chills up her spine and temporarily derailed her train of thought. The next thing the girl knew she was already sitting down at the desk in her study, not really sure how she got there. Rei pulled an old college notebook out of a messy pile of junk and absentmindedly began flipping through its pages as if it was some routine process. What was she looking for anyways? The answer escaped her. Tomorrow was the day of their annual get together… so why was she so nervous?

That night all of the former children had nightmares, the likes of which they could only recall from what seemed a lifetime ago. Kensuke's included images of Touji's body strung up on a wooden cross and burned alive as Gendo smiled menacingly in the background. Asuka dreamt of Rei seducing Shinji and forcing him to kill Misato and Kaji. Shinji relapsed into his old night terrors, consisting of a new series of angels while Kaworu returned to murder what remained of his friends.

**-SCENE BREAK-**

The following chilly winter morning Shinji Ikari stared up at the ceiling, he had been doing so for several minutes, silently contemplating. Moving his hands from behind a messy mop of snow white hair Shinji began to slowly massage his temples as he sat up in bed. 'It's been forty years since we defeated the Angels, so why now?' Just as the thought escaped, he finally felt an arm gently lying upon his lap. Glancing over, Shinji smiled at his companion. "Morning."

Asuka's arm slid off its resting place as Shinji turned his back to her to stand. Her eyes, once bright blue but now a bit dulled with age, fluttered open slowly. "It's really morning already, baka?"

Nodding, Shinji turned to face her. "You know what today is, right?"

Thinking for a moment, she grinned at her own cleverness. "Too damn cold?"

Rolling his eyes as he spoke Shinji replied,. "No you twit. It's the fortieth anniversary of our victory over the Angels." Asuka nodded and rolled away from him to face the wall.

"Wake me up when I care, alright?"

Shinji narrowed his eyes and reached out, pushing his companion out of the bed. Hitting the floor with a very loud thud she quickly leapt back up. Her once fiery red hair was now mainly gray with a few faint red streaks here and there, but her eyes were still as furious and piercing when angry as they were when she was fourteen. "You are a dead man!" yelled the irate woman as she leapt across the bed, trying to tackle her nighttime companion. To her dismay Shinji easily dodged the attack by turning to the side.

"Always predictable... and you wonder why I was the one who saved humanity." Asuka's crumpled form emitted a groan.

Asuka punched the top of his foot as she recovered, pulling herself from the floor and grumbling yet again. "Shut up Shinji... you got lucky." Rubbing the area where she smacked him, Shinji sat on his side of the bed and looked out the window.

"Hey... it looks like it's going to rain. Should we head to the train station to make sure everyone gets here alright?"

Moaning, Asuka climbed back into bed and threw her face into the pillows. "Arrgh..." Lifting her head only slightly the German replied, "They're grown ups now, Baka. I think they can find us just fine. Or is this just to make sure Rei is okay?"

Shinji found himself glaring back at her again. "She's family. I would appreciate it if for once you would treat her as such."

Asuka started laughing at the one-time savior of the human race, but as her laughter died down she smiled brightly. "Why so serious? Calm down, I know the drill baka."

Shinji grinned brightly. "Hey, you're the one still with Mr. Stupid."

The woman rolled her eyes with that smile still plastered on her lips. "Yeah, I cry myself to sleep every night because of that."

Forcing himself to stand, the man went over to his closet and began putting on a pair of pants he had grabbed. "You know what? Shut up... I'm going to make sure they ALL get here just fine."

As Shinji began shifting through his chest of drawers looking for a shirt he was suddenly hit smack in the back of his head by a shoe. "God dammit!" he yelled as he grit his teeth.

The minx grinned as she put on her shirt, "You're going to need those if we're going to see them in this weather."

Sighing, Shinji tried hard to let that slide. "You still make no sense to me and we've known each other for forty years."

The blue-eyed femme fatale just smirked and shrugged. "I guess you're just really slow then." In response the man could do nothing but grumble in disdain and continue getting dressed, realizing after all these years, it's best to shut up and let her win.

After their morning argument, the wonderfully put-together couple headed off to the train station to meet up with the remaining members of their high school group of friends.

"I wonder if Rei has put down her lectures and text books long enough to find a man?" Asuka wondered aloud. Shinji, focused on driving, decided to throw in his two cents.

"I don't think she ever will; she's far too introverted, even after all this time." The woman beside him smirked and took a moment to poke fun at him.

"You just don't want to imagine anyone having sex with Rei because she's basically your mom." Shinji shuddered and glanced at Asuka quickly before returning his sight to the road.

"You know, sometimes I think it would have been better if you stayed quiet and mind fucked. It Would have made my life a lot more peaceful." The man stayed straight faced, his voice lacking any real emotion.

Asuka laughed and nodded, a bit proud of her work. "Touché! Good comeback, baka. Maybe I've finally started rubbing off on you!"

The man sighed as he imagined a witty comeback about rubbing off onto her but wisely kept it to himself. They finally pulled into the train station parking lot a few minutes later. "Alright... let's get out and wait."

Asuka sighed and decided not to argue the matter because it wouldn't work; she knew she'd just end up in the car alone. "Fine, give me a second to find my mittens." As the woman began sifting through the glove compartment for her mittens there was a loud knock on her window.

Not expecting any sort of noise, Asuka jumped, smacking her head into the top of the car. Shinji grinned and opened his door in welcome. "Kensuke! How the hell are you man?" He strolled around the front of the car to embrace his old friend with a smile.

"I'm fine Shinji. It's nice to see at least one of you are happy to see me."

At his comment, the scowling woman slowly opened her door and mumbled to herself, "You're still an ass Kensuke..." Pausing, she took a deep breath and watched it puff out in the cold air. So where's Hikari?" As soon as the words escaped her lips a pair of arms came around her waist from behind, and she was quickly embraced by her pigtailed companion.

"How are the kids?" The newcomer asked, love and happiness swelling in her voice. As Asuka spun around and genuinely returned the embrace, she gave Hikari the once over before speaking.

"Mine are fine. The twins are in college and Adel is a junior in high school. What about you?"

Hikari smiled widely, her pride all too apparent. "Well, Touji just graduated college and is looking to be a teacher. He's aiming for high school. Cross our fingers, ya know?"

Shinji smiled. "It still brings a smile to my face that you guys named him Touji."

Nodding, the other man replied, "Yeah... we both miss him a lot man. Hell, I've even been having dreams about back in the day as of late. I guess old age is getting the best of us." Hikari moved to his side as he finished speaking and wrapped her right arm around his lower back.

Shinji's eyes widened as Ken spoke. "Yeah, so have I. That's so weird!"

Before they could continue, Rei walked down the station steps into the parking lot and caught sight of the one group of people she could truly call friends. "There's an explanation for all of that you know, right Kensuke?" At the sound of his name he turned to see the woman and spoke first.

"How is it that you always end up behind people? I swear sometimes that your ancestors were ninjas or something." His statement garnered a laugh out of Shinji and Hikari, a small smirk from Rei and a snort from Asuka.

"It always surprises me how little you change, ya know that?" Spoke his wife as Rei merged with the group.

Rei's hair was as blue as ever, not a single wrinkle on her face, as if she was ageless; however, if one knew her well enough you could see the truth in her eyes. The weight of time had taken its toll on her, just not by the usual channels.

"You must drive your coworkers crazy," Kensuke continued, "though for different reasons of course." The man gave her a lopsided grin and got jabbed in the ribs for it by his wife. The blue-haired woman smiled in return, and as always her words were seemingly well thought out in advance.

"You know I don't care for affectionate interaction... especially with my fellow biologists. My research is more important to me than physical pleasures."

Shinji grinned and replied with humor in his voice. "Did I hear correctly? Ayanami is looking for more awards?"

As she glanced at Shinji, the crimson-eyed woman smiled warmly. "Hello Shinji... and no, the fame is nothing I care about."

Asuka ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. "You're so damn boring Rei."

To which Rei laughed. "Maybe, but at least I know what's going on Ms. Shoryu."

The group spared Rei a confused look as Hikari broke the silence. "What's wrong? Is it one of those weird Angel things that's telling you what's going on?"

"Perhaps," replied Rei, pausing for a moment before continuing. "Needless to say, certain events have been set in motion."

Shinji, always the paranoid individual, was quickest to inquire, the fear clear in his voice. "What? Are they going to attack us again? Send more Angels?"

Kensuke spared Shinji a skeptical look before he replied jokingly, "Now who's the paranoid one?"

Rei shook her head as the conversation had quickly spiraled from pleasantries into the deep well that was the groups collective disorders, yet before she could respond a lightning strike was seen off in the distance. Hikari looked startled, searching the sky. "What was that?"

Kensuke looked over at her like she was crazy saying, "It's just lightning, honey. Calm down. Jeeze, is everyone high or something? You're all leaping at shadows." He was well acquainted with his wife's acquired ticks and didn't want it to make today any worse than it already was so he left the topic at that.

Before they continued this increasingly awkward discussion Shinji decided to aim them in their usual direction by gently herding the group with gentle touches. "I think it's time we head over to the graveyard to pay our respects." Hikari looked at Shinji and suppressed the instinct to swat his hand away as her old class rep mode reasserted itself.

"How can you be so calm?"

'Always the worrier' Shinji thought to himself as he laughed, "Think about what we lived through…this is nothing compared to instrumentality and the Angels"

The woman shrugged and the battle was conceded as Kensuke grinned. "Alright. Well you win that argument Shinji. Let's go visit everyone."

So with that the group walked from the train station towards a quaint makeshift graveyard that sat on the far side of a hill seated to the long-abandoned stations right side.

As they walked Rei began trying to explain her visions, pulling everyone back into the old conversation. "The dreams have to mean something."

Kensuke smirked, "Most of our dreams involve dead people… so how could that be a premonition?"

Rei sighed heavily, unsure of her own thoughts, "I really don't know. I can only assume that due to the fact that we basically usurped a self-proclaimed God's grand design, that there's more to this."

Shinji glanced at Rei and smiled as he took her hand. "Don't worry Rei; everything is fine. We went through a lot as kids. Our psyche is probably just dealing with all that crap." Bringing his concentration back to the trip, Shinji noticed that Asuka had separated from them slightly, walking much faster than the rest. He wasn't surprised by it though; even when amongst her family she separated herself.

A few minutes later they silently approached the first stop on that day's trip, the resting place of the only woman that Shinji ever got to call mom. Asuka, having arrived first, looked down at the ground and stopped as she came upon a familiar site, a neural clip, but it was lying on top of Misato's tombstone. As she leaned over and picked it up, the woman marveled slightly at its superb condition considering its age. She began rubbing her thumb over its contoured red surface and turned back to the group as they brought up the rear. "Hey guys, I never put one of my neural clips on Misato's headstone, so how did this get here? What's going on?"

Before anyone could react another bolt of lightning came down from the clear sky and enveloped the group.

When Shinji opened his eyes his brain nearly shut down. He was standing on a train platform with a duffel bag slung over his shoulder. "Where is everyone?" The boy said as he frantically scanned the area, almost instantly realizing his voice was different. As he dropped the bag and began staring blankly at the sight of his petite hands everything began to spiral out of control. Just then Misato came to a screeching halt, and sticking her head out the window of her old Alpine Renault, she yelled at his back.

"Hey you're Shinji Ikari right?" Getting no response from the stunned youth she continued on. "Get in the car. We need to get you to NERV, now." Shinji slowly, almost mechanically, turned around to see the figure of the beautiful twenty-something Misato Katsuragi waving frantically to him from the car. It was then that he began to realize he was back at the beginning of it all. The only words he could muster were a whisper, "What the fuck?"

Ok this is the first chapter part two, only very minor changes on this one, fixed a bit of grammar, a name and a few other small things. I'm sure I still missed some stuff. I'm bad with switching tenses, I know. But it's better than what I had, at least I think so.

Welcome to the Universe belongs to 30 Seconds to Mars, their label and all respective copyright owners, I don't own shit.


	2. What else do I need?

**WHAT ELSE DO I NEED?**

I don't mind that I have come back here again  
In a place so far away from normal life  
They're racing to a prison they will never leave

Worshipping a system I just don't believe  
I could stay right here and never ever leave  
What else do I need?

People worry that I don't do anything  
I think they really wonder why I'm not like them

They're racing to a prison  
They will never leave

'cause I could stay right here and never ever leave  
What else do I need?

As Shinji was snapped back to reality by a well-manicured hand waving in his face, he realized that Misato's car was speeding away from the station at break neck speeds with him as the copilot. His confidence in the situation was of course lifted by the fact that she was driving with one hand going 70 miles an hour into a hair pin turn like she was straight out of Initial D.

"You at home in there?" she questioned with a joking tone, as Shinji slowly and mechanically turned his head towards the driver-side companion.

A million disjointed thoughts and emotions were piled up like a bullet train collision as he stuttered and mumbled his way through what should have been a sentence.

When he realized that she wasn't responding to what, in his mind, had been coherent thought, he reached out to touch her. He half expected to wake up upon contact. Misato of course didn't really know how to react to a 14 year old she just met touching her face as if she was some past lover. But to her credit she didn't punch him out like he may have deserved.

"A bit of a fast mover for your age aren't you?" she quipped as in the distance the sounds of calamitous defeat seemed to crawl ever closer.

"Is it really you?" Shinji finally squeaked out, his voice breaking.

"No, I saw you on the side of the street and, being the pedophile I am, I decided to pick you up for a romp in the sheets." Misato spoke as she spared the young boy a sideways glance. Seeing no recognition or conscious thought taking place after her, in her humble opinion, masterful jab, Misato spoke again with real emotion in her voice for the first time since picking up the wayward savior.

"Shinji are you ok? I'm sorry we can't pull over but are you not feeling too good or something?"

If Shinji had slumped further into his chair they would have melded together as all the rational thought he could muster finally overcame the system shock of his new surroundings. Still ambivalent to Misato or her ranting he tried to unwind the tangled fishing line that was his present situation.

'I'm dead, aren't I? That lightning bolt hit me and now I'm dead. I survived 16 fights with 40 story tall monsters and I'm killed by a collection of colliding electrons. This is just great. Fucking wonderful.' Slowly and without cognitive thought Shinji peered out the window and down from the mountain they were currently peaking over to look back upon the city. In the rapidly closing distance Shinji saw Sachiel, the angel of water and the price of god he had once heard Rei refer to it as. Wiping out the last of the VTOL aircraft with an iridescent blast from his eyes, it took flight. Sachiel landed on the opposite side of a separate range that ran perpendicular to the one Shinji resided on. Sweeping his head back as that part of town disappeared from view a thought hit Shinji.

'Why was Misato at the station? Last time she didn't pick me up until I had wandered nearly a mile into the city in a hopeless attempt to navigate my way to the Geofront. On top of that why were we driving over the mountains? Last time there was a tunnel going through them.'

It was at this point that Shinji was yet again pulled from his reverie, this time by a rapid deceleration of Misato's A 310 Renault. Just as they again approached flat land he realized that Misato had the car turned facing into the far hills the monstrosity had leapt over. Reality can be a real bitch sometimes.

"Oh fuck." The first words to slip past his lips in a conversational volume held infinite meaning.

"You aren't kidding!" Misato yelled as she threw Shinji down over the console and covered his body with her own a mere second before the flash and its accompanying shockwave hit the car head on. Lifting the fiberglass and aluminum contraption into an angle so large they feared it would flip over. But that was nothing compared to the searing temperature inside the "classic" car. Shinji was unaware at how much time had passed when he heard the driver side door open with a violent kick and sweet, sweet air flooded back into his lungs. He tried to open his door the conventional way and found the windows so warped that it was an effort in futility, so he followed Misato's lead.

Climbing out to join the captain and survey the landscape, it was just as he remembered it. Barren and hell-blasted, the heat rising from the bare earth was in retrospect not much cooler than the baking he received in Misato's death trap. The car had fared no better, with the vast majority of its blue exterior having vaporized into nothingness leaving only a bare frame.

'Well just great. I don't think a few batteries are going to fix this up.' He thought to himself, frowning deeply.

"Believe it or not, that could have been worse, Shinji," came Misato's ever pleasant and cheerful voice. "I mean, if we had taken that blast to the side it could have rolled the car who knows how many times. Yeah the car is fucked but you look fine and I know I'm good to go." She spoke while rounding the trunk of the car and approaching Shinji from behind.

"I had forgotten how massive the explosion was," spoke Shinji to himself as much as to anyone within earshot as he stared at the scarred spire off to the west.

"When have you ever seen an N² mine before?" asked Misato incredulously. "Look, we need to get to the Geofront and fast," she said as she dropped back into business mode and passed Shinji by, tried to open her hood but burning her fingers, abandoned that tactic.

"There's no point Misato. Look," stated Shinji as he watched the grown woman suck on her fingers like a toddler.

Misato traced the line from Shinji's outstretched hand down to the ground and let her fingers fall from her mouth. 'Well fuck me running…' The puddles that were once called tires proved to be the crux of the problem. "Well, since hitchhiking is out of question it looks like we're going to rely on your carjacking skills yet again newbie." Misato joked as she fished her ever present red jacket out of the back seat and donned it upon exiting the now massive paperweight. Almost as if she was striking a pose, the mere sight of her stunned Shinji more than he thought possible.

'If this my life flashing before my eyes its sure taking a lot longer than I thought it would, but man, is it ever worth it.' While absorbed in his own little world Shinji had adopted the biggest set of puppy dog eyes Misato had ever seen. So much so that Misato thought he might start crying at any moment. The look of utter rapture was frankly starting to creep her out; she knew boys his age were lecherous but this was on some sort of different level.

"Um, yeah." Was all she could come up with as self-consciousness got the better of her and she longed for her scrawny cohort to avert his intense gaze. "Ok, I'm got to be honest Ikari. Your freaking me out, so stop with the starring," she said her voice stern and commanding.

Shinji responded with a visible shake as if he had been physically impacted by her words. "I'm sorry Misato, not really sure what came over me. I apologize," spoke Shinji as he quickly averted his eyes to the earth seemingly concentrating on it as if it held the secret to his predicament.

"We don't have time for all of this. It's imperative that I get you to the Geofront ASAP and that means we need a car, ergo we're going to jack one." The words spoken as she pulled an about face and began to walk briskly away from Shinji.

Misato spared him no backward glance as she began to actively scan the blacktop that uncoiled in front of her for a suitable transport. Shinji himself struggled to keep up.

*****************************SCENE BREAK*****************************

The remainder of the trip from the wreckage until entering the lift that ran into the bowels of the Geofront was smothered in an uncomfortable silence. Shinji wanted nothing more than to just grab a hold of the buxom beauty he traveled with, to tell her all the things he never got the chance to, to let her know what she meant to him. But the stark realization that this little trip down memory lane was taking far too long was unsettling him more than he would like to admit. You go though 3 decades of counseling to forget a specific set of facts, dates, places and people only to have them shoved down your throat when least expecting it and see how well you cope.

Adding to the fact that Misato had made it abundantly clear though her actions, both verbal and non, her initial disposition toward him had gone 180.

A glance at the clock in their hijacked ride, some generic late 90's model sub compact that Shinji hadn't cared enough to find the model and make of, spoke loud and clear.

7:13

'It's already so late, I wonder if I'll even reach the cages before he starts back up.' Shinji's slouched form changed little as they broke the surface and the Geofront proper opened itself for them. Been there, done that would have been equivalent to how he felt. He could hear Misato talking proudly about the structure: the black moon that formed this cavernous landscape was the egg of Lillith and other facts. He already knew everything that came out of her mouth. He was also well aware that the fact that she didn't know the truth, which in a way led to her death last time. It was at this time that Shinji became aware of the internal references to his life, the one he had been leading not 2 hours ago, as 'last time.' How easily he had let it go would not bother him until years later.

"…and that is why it's our last bastion of hope," spoke Misato, the speech long ago memorized. Turning her smiling visage to the soon-to-be pilot she noticed him obviously lost in thought. 'Of course he is. I mean really, think about it from his point of view. It really is a lot to take in all at once. Maybe I was a bit too hard on him earlier.' How convenient it was that she was so easy to sway.

"You alright there kido?" The buxom beauty asked, reaching over to rustle the brown mop Shinji called hair.

The kind gesture drew an honest and happy smile from him which had been the intention. "Yeah, I'm ok Misato. Look, I'm sorry about earlier. Just trust me when I tell you that it's really complicated, OK? Lots of things are changing far too quickly for my liking at the moment." His tone indicated an air of exhaustion and age that she wouldn't have expected even from a man twice his age.

"Things are stressful for everyone right now, so don't worry about it," she replied, as she began to regret for even picking him up in the first place. Then it hit her. "This is about meeting your father again, isn't it?" she asked, her voice now softer and caring, like that of an old friend.

Uttering the first positive emotion since his arrival Shinji actually burst into laughter, an honest to god guttural laugh. Choking down the chuckles, he tried to regain composure and answer her but stumbled over his words twice before regaining coherency. "No. To be honest that's going to be unpleasant, yes, but it's hardly the biggest of my worries at the moment." he said as he leaned his right elbow on the windows edge and propped his head up, gazing back toward the dark-haired officer.

To say that Misato was caught off guard by the younger Ikari's response would be an understatement. The seemingly vast mood swings she had already seen in the boy concerned her and were something she would bring up to Rits later. For the moment though she returned to the business at hand. "You have your transfer papers on you by any chance Shinji?" She asked congenially.

"Yeah, but I think you'll find them lacking in the fact department," He replied as he, by some sort of muscle memory, grabbed the paper out of the duffle bag and handed it to her. It looked more like it had been hit by a hand grenade full of ink than any kind of government document. But with the inherent secrecy of her agency she chalked it up to the old cloak-and-dagger routine and moved on. Handing over a small, hard-cover brown book so thin it resembled a bound pamphlet more than anything, Misato began on her second well-rehearsed speech about the contents of said document. Yet again Shinji merely zoned out as he stared at the maple leaf before him.

'Never thought I'd see this again,' was the sound echoing in Shinji's head as he slowly traced the outline of the leaf oh so slowly, as if memorizing a picture of a long lost friend. "Never was any friend of mine," he muttered to himself as his grip became vice-like and the book screamed for relief.

"Hey now, that's government property. You break it you buy it and all that," spoke the captain as she sighed inwardly. 'And he claims to not have daddy issues. Yah, and I'm the king of France.'

*****************************SCENE BREAK*****************************

"We should have gone left back there, you know that right?" Shinji asked in an exasperated fashion. Misato tried really hard not to backhand him.

"How would you know that Mr. Smarty pants, hm?" Came her reply, Misato's voice clearly indicating that her tank of patience was running on fumes at this point. Shinji began to indicate that he knew because he could actually read a map, even when Misato was holding it upside down, when the overhead lights flickered in the pristine white hallway.

'That's him again huh?" Shinji said, his question rhetorical. Having instinctively turned towards the noise as he came about face, he saw Misato finishing up folding the map.

"Ok, if you think you know how to get to the command center then lead the way because I'm just as lost as you are." The woman was obviously frustrated but now not just with Shinji but also with herself and the invader knocking at the Geofronts door.

Covering the 20 yards back to the left they should have taken, Shinji ran face first into the bosom of one Dr. Akagi. They quickly separated but were mutually dumbstruck. The pregnant pause was luckily or unluckily broken, depending on who you asked, by one of Misato's patented quips. "Jeez, you really do get around fast, huh Mr. Casanova? First me and then not 2 hours later the dear doctor here is already in your capable hands." Wild arm gesticulations added to her comedic flair, but it was a tough crowd and she received nothing but a scornful stare from the platinum blonde and an aggravated groan from Shinji. "I don't care what the two of you say; that was funny," she continued on, very proud of herself.

"Bask in your own delusions of grandeur later captain," came the husky voice of the trench coat laden doctor as she blessed Misato with a content smirk and then turned her attention to the scrawny youngster. "I take it you're the Commander's child… Shinji isn't it?" The fake give-a-damn-a-tude in her voice was all too palpable.

"Yes ma'am," came his equally curt reply. Even in Shinji's own subconscious he was surprised at the venom that lay just under the surface. It seems he held a grudge against her for what had befallen Rei, even through the recent odd turn of events. "I take it that you came to find us?" he asked. Not giving time for any type of response, he quickly continued on. The very idea of hearing the woman speak another syllable was akin to nails on a chalk board as far as he was concerned. "Well I got a good enough look at the map to find my own way, so don't bother." He didn't look back as he sped across the labyrinthine complex looking for escalator 16, the fastest route to the command deck.

"What crawled up his ass and died?" asked Ritsuko incredulously as she, surprisingly, struggled to keep pace with Shinji.

"He's definitely an odd one Rits. The kid seems almost bipolar or something. One minute he's staring at me like he wants to pounce me, then he gets really brooding, then happy and now angry. I swear if he goes one more dwarf on me I think well have to put the kid away," said the captain between breaths as she started to put major distance between herself and the chain smoker. By the time she reached the command center's door Shinji had already caught his breath and was merely waiting for them to open the door, seeing as how he currently lacked the clearance to do it himself.

"You certainly got a pair of legs on yah that's for sure." Said Misato taking a few deep breaths as she fumbled around for her key card. "You don't look it but I think you may get along here ok after all." Doing her magic made the red light green as Dr. Akagi finally rounded the last corner. "Lay off the doughnuts Rits. You just got smoked by a kid half your age," Misato called back as she passed though the portal, a reply coming from the doctor in the business half of a peace sign.

Getting the run down from the bridge bunnies took as long as it should have and one hop, skip and a jump later, Shinji was on a rubber dingy riding towards his destiny. Shinji knew what was coming, of course, but things were still odd, besides the obvious, that is. Point A and B were the same but his routes kept changing, the fact that he was even on this journey again was enough to make him scream but the predictability was long gone. Speaking up to that fact wasn't even a possibility, how would you explain this to a person, even one whose daily job it was to maintain and command 40-story-tall bio-mechanical/cloned angel/giant moms/god-knows-what-else monsters to kill other equally absurd and sometimes phallic adversaries. 'Yeah, Misato, a lightning bolt threw me 40 years into the past making me relive the most traumatic puberty anyone has ever had, ever, and this time things are a bit different.' That would go over gangbuster, I'm sure.

The lights came back on figuratively and in reality as Shingoki lay before him, same as it ever was. Yet again Shinji heard buzzing of two different tones meaning both Ritsuko and Misato were babbling at him this time. They reminded him of those old Peanuts cartoons Asuka made him watch with the kids when they were young. They were dreadfully boring but the voice was the one aspect he still remembered. A single word pulled him from the staring contest he was having with the giant jar his mother resided in: Gendo. What should have been a teary reunion with mum was now smashed.

Closing his eyes and exhaling the breath he didn't even know he was holding, Shinji slowly turned to his left and up, way up, to face his so-called father. "Gendo," came his simple reply to the silent question Shinji felt his dad's mere presence asked.

"I have need of you, Shinji," the bearded bastard's gruff voice belted out.

"So I heard." If this was the game that the bespectacled man wanted to play, Shinji was more than game.

"Will you do it?"

"Do I have much of a choice?"

"I do not care. If you won't, there are others." Gendo had foreseen this outcome and had an ace up his sleeve. Said ace was already on its way, ready to play its part in this farce.

It was at this moment that for the first time in this short trip Shinji thought of one other than himself. "Rei!" The startled words had slipped before he knew what had happened and the effect they had on his father was quite visible if you knew where to look.

Gendo stood still as he recouped his wits after a most startling turn of events. A motion of his hands and the amber window he peered down from became a monitor, showing the approach of Rei's gurney. "As I said: you are expendable," he finally spoke again but this time without the stern resolve he had possessed earlier. There were derivations abound and his patience with this so-called conversation had worn thin.

Believe it or not, Shinji had been even more startled at his outburst than anyone else in the room. As screen became window once again, he stood rooted to the spot until the far door burst open and in rolled the battered and beaten pilot of Unit 0. As she rolled by, Shinji dumbly followed her with his eyes. Oddly enough it wasn't her face he was staring at but her ravaged body, it had been a long time, that was sure, but he could have sworn that she didn't look this bad, at least not as he remembered it. Nary an inch of her wasn't bandaged or bloody. A low whisper drew his attention to the albino's face at long last and she mouthed a single word to him.

Shinji.

Lunging forward and catching the edge of her bed, Shinji halted the progress of doctors presumably sending a young girl to her death. Gendo's reprisal came as fast as expected but Shinji wasn't about to have any of it. "OK, OK. I get it. I'm in, just get her out of here, alright?" Yelled Shinji up the self proclaimed messiah once called Rokubungi.

A grim smile spread from cheek to cheek and, satisfied with his work, Gendo turned and left without a word more. He had many new things to contemplate, threads that were loose, and his anal retentive nature wouldn't allow that.

As Rei was carted away she closed her eyes as pain medication was blessedly bestowed upon her. Shinji led himself to the changing room as Ritsuko disappeared off to who-cares-where and Misato followed in step with Shinji giving him instructions that he had heard a million times. At least she knew how to find this location and he didn't have to explain his uncanny sense of direction to her at the moment. Thank whatever god will listen for small miracles.

It would be two days before Shinji apologized to Misato for blowing her off and ignoring her all day; she hadn't even noticed until he said anything. It's odd how fast you can go from feeling like scum for treating someone you care for so much like crap to complete shock and then apathy.

*****************************SCENE BREAK*****************************

The meeting with his father had left him seething with anger. He felt it building to the point where it wanted to burst forth from behind his eyes. It was also taking far too long to don his plug suit as he was fighting it more than even remotely necessary. As he finally pressed the button on his wrist and had the air sucked out of his suit it struck him. Where was Sachiel? The answer to his question definitely was not to Shinji's pleasing.

"You did what?" he yelled in disbelief to Misato, who had been standing just outside the dressing room door. He hadn't been ready for the answer to his inquiry or being slammed up against the wall.

"I am your superior officer buddy! That's right. You're in the army now mister. Thus you are at the bottom of this totem pole!" Misato was so close to him that spittle was hitting Shinji's face, an unpleasant occurrence to be sure. "I made the decision to hit him again because you weren't ready to do battle yet. Hell, you're not going to be when ever you fight that thing, lets be honest here. I'd say you have about a 2% chance of living though this, but guess what? I sacrificed 13% of this city in an instant just to give you those two percentage points. It's too late to turn back now, so get your ass in gear and make them count for something!" Misato said, doing her best R. Lee Ermey impersonation.

Damn near pushing him all the way back to Unit 1 Shinji couldn't get over how wild Misato's mood swings were. He knew all about her connection to the angels and her hatred of them but the physical and verbal was new and unwanted. He just hoped that after he smeared Sachiel all over the city his Misato came back to the surface.

Ascending the stairs to Unit 01's entry plug, Shinji felt as if he was watching himself go through the motion rather than being an active participant. Every fiber of his being was screaming for him to turn and run, no good could come of him getting back into that metallic coffin. He had spent the last 40 years of his life putting as much distance between himself and the gray tube that was now at arm's length. How quickly things can change.

As he swallowed the last of his doubts and fears Shinji lowered himself into the plug and hoped for the best. As surreal as life presently was, looking into the brain of one Shinji Ikari at this moment would have driven you mad faster than Cthulhu cock-slapping you in the face. The Molotov cocktail of confusion, fear, anger, hate, and an overwhelming sense of resignation threatened to blow Shinji's insides all over the glossy interior of the tube like a macabre piñata. If a person ever needed happy pills it was him and the time was now.

His first coherent thought in about three minutes was 'God I still hate this taste.' It was soon followed by the realization that things weren't amber but pitch black. The bloody concoction ceased to be Tang and was now an inky ichor, not grimy or oily to the touch but disorienting and oppressive. It was probably for the best that he didn't hear the commotion that was currently going on in the command center.

"Repeat that again Lieutenant Ibuki," commanded Misato, not believing what she had heard.

"Sync ratio holding steady at 83.25% ma'am." Maya's voice held the same disbelief it did the first time she reported it. As Misato turned to Ritsuko for some kind of reason as to why Shinji's rating was through the roof, she got none as the 'good' doctor was pounding away at a terminal.

"Everything checks out captain," said Ritsuko to Misato, who was now peering over her right shoulder. "I did an integrity scan of the plug's systems, the A-10 connectors and our software as well and they all check out. The ratio is correct." Her voice did not hold the amazement in it that everyone else's did. Her brain was too busy churning through possible reasons as to the occurrence for any outward emotions to be expressed.

"Maybe the kid has a chance after all!" exclaimed Hyuga from across the command deck. His face was lit up like Christmas, hope finally peering into their grim situation.

"Don't get too happy yet Lieutenant. Save the celebration for after the battle," came Misato's authoritative tone, was quickly followed by a relieved smile of her own. "Get me a connection with the plug Aoba."

A few taps of his station later, Shinji's face came across the now clear tube. "Can you see alright? " Misato inquired to the visibly upset pilot.

"Yes ma'am. It changed when the system started up. Everything seems to be alright." His voice was shaky and threatened to crack as he spoke. Everyone on the other side of the line just assumed it was pre-battle jitters and was to be expected. How far from the truth they really were.

"I know it's odd, but military protocol is set up that I be referred to as 'Sir,' Shinji. I know its odd to call a woman that, but you will need to get used to it, OK?" Shinji instantly recognized 'his' Misato as she spoke this time. The fact made him so happy he purposefully failed to point out the hypocrisy of the situation at her being able to call him by his first name.

Again confused by Shinji's abrupt changes in emotional state, as evident by his face and posture this time, she spared him a raised eyebrow as the operation had now begun. "Your sync ratio far surpasses our wildest expectations Shinji, so maybe you have a 3% chance." Her joking tone was music to Shinji's ears, not to mention this time around he had the ability to play along.

"Your ability to instill confidence in your troops is amazing Captain, Sir," his deliverance deadpan. Poorly stifled laughter rang out in the background of the command center and, as Misato squashed it with a glare, rabid typing once again rang clear. Shinji felt all too proud of himself.

"Ok Mr. Smug, time to get your game face on. Things here are almost done and we'll be sending you up any second. By our calculation, we have about three or so minutes before the angel is once again operational and resumes its attack. Once you get to the surface assess the situation and make sure you have the immediate area clear. Once there you will receive direct commands from me for the duration, do you understand?"

Shinji nodded in response and seconds later was rocketing towards the surface. The G-force was just as rough this time as it had ever been and after breaking the surface it took him a few seconds to reel in his lunch. 'Here goes everything.'

AN: A special thanks to syo/air b mac./ square root of infinity/I forgot his other name. And a really special thanks to Snow. And now a thanks to Hibiki, my newest prereader.

What else do I need belongs to VAST, their label, and all respective copyright holders. I don't own anything. I also don't own Tang.

Redone ch 2 is go!


	3. Raining blood

**Raining Blood**

The sky is turning red  
Return to power draws near  
Fall into me, the sky's crimson tears  
Abolish the rules made of stone

Raining blood  
From a lacerated sky  
Bleeding its horror  
Creating my structure  
Now I shall reign in blood!

Shinji knew what was coming and tried to brace himself, but you try taking a 13-G differential in oh, I don't know, about .1 seconds and see if you like it.

The urge to smear his breakfast all over what looked like a giant metallic tampon was strong. But then you remember that if you did then you would have to breathe your own vomit and it's amazing what you can keep down.

"Quite the ride huh?" came Misato's surprisingly cheery voice over the intercom. It was odd to the pilot's ears considering the situation.

"Is now really the time for pleasantries Captain?" Shinji's reply was all business.

"I was trying to keep you from freaking out but it seems that won't be necessary." said Misato as she stared at some monitor Shinji couldn't see. Returning her attention to him after a moment, and some muffled communication with who Shinji assumes was Hyuga, Misato gave her orders.

"Ok, the target is approximately 2.4 kilometers from your position on a north by northwest bearing. A block forward and two to your left is a supply building. According to what I have in front of me it should have a pistol, a pallet rifle, and a spare progressive knife in it." Picking up a clipboard and scanning over it Misato heard a sharp intake of breath from damned near everyone in the room and quickly snapped her attention to the giant display in front of them all. Shinji had taken off on his own and was already at the supply building, procuring from it the knife and pistol.

Throwing the clipboard over her left shoulder it clattered to the floor, forgotten. "What the fuck?" Shinji would later find out the clipboard contained a set of instructions on how to walk and the most basic operations of the Eva. Misato had spent weeks working on it.

Misato stumbled through four attempts at a sentence before regaining her wits. "How are you doing that? It took Ayanami over a year to just sync with her Eva, let alone get down even the most basic of operations." The disbelief in her vice was thick but before she could continue on she was interrupted by Akagi. Shinji of course thought only of the fact that if that was the situation they assumed he would be in how did they ever expect humanity, let alone himself, to survive this first trial?

"Just be glad that he's some sort of prodigy, it's saving us a lot of time, money and effort." Her words were patronizing but she like the rest of the command deck was staring dumbfounded at the fluidity and efficiency of Shinji's operation. This of course brought Misato some level of comfort.

"Orders Captain?" came the inquiry over the comm link. "I'm pretty sure he knows I'm up here, he seems to be coming right at me."

"How could you know that Shinji? You shouldn't be able to see it yet." Bewildered she looked down at Maya, whose shoulder she had been standing behind the whole time, looking for an answer. An equally confused shrug was her sole reply.

"I've felt this pressure in my head ever since I got into the Eva, it's been getting stronger since I started up the lift and even more so after I started to move around." Shinji took up a crouching position behind what he assumed was some sort of housing project by the look of it. He knew it afforded him zero protection but his psyche seemed content to play a game of hide and seek.

"Everything checks out as nominal Captain," reported Aoba, his diagnostic of the assumed flaw in the entry plug now complete.

'Yet another thing to figure out later.' Was the simultaneous inner monologue of Ristuko and Captain Kasturagi.

"We've got airborne!" came the startled call from Lt. Ibuki. Even Shinji was startled by this as he peaked his head up to assess the situation and caught the tail end of a flight that brought Sachiel crashing through the top floors of his supposed hiding place. Ducking his head further in an autonomic response, he was showered in brick and mortar. As neurons began to fire again, they screamed 'Do something asshole!'

Swinging his pistol-laden left hand around Shinji got off exactly one shot, point blank to the angel's core. As the building concluded its collapse, both participants merely stared at each other through the rising dust cloud, assessing the end product of the battle's first round.

Yet again Shinji was assailed by a myriad of screamed orders. He mentally killed his com link for the moment to deal with the much more pressing problem at hand.

'One shot and no AT field: good. Point blank shot to his weak spot and, if the bastard had a mouth, he would be laughing at me: bad.' Shinji dropped the obviously useless pistol but before any meaningful action could be taken, the angel of water's arm shot out and grabbed a hold of Unit 1's forearm. There was no struggle, unlike last time; a slight turn of the wrist and the arm bone shattered into a hundred pieces. It was more akin to snapping a toothpick then breaking the arm of a 40-story-tall death machine, though the sound produced left no doubt as to which had just occurred.

Shinji was no stranger to pain of any variety, but this was on the high end of the suck meter. With his sync ratio being so high it might as well have been his real arm being snapped in twine. He screamed and Sachiel showed him no mercy.

With blinding speed, Sachiel grabbed a hold of the purple behemoth's head in its moment of weakness and, in a single strike, blew a hole clean through its right eye socket. One Judo-esque throw later, the construct skid to a stop halfway into a shopping center which promptly joined him on the ground.

The command center was in utter disarray, everyone screaming about failure this, connection loss that, no sign of vitals, ect. ect., ad infintium, ad nauseum.

Misato was beside herself: this was the worst case scenario. A word finally came down from above her. "What do you plan to do now Captain?" boomed the gruff voice of Gendo Ikari.

"I'm not sure, Sir. There were no realistic contingency plans for the death of the pilot this early on." Her voice was distressed but steady. No look was spared back in the direction of the commander. She knew if she attempted a face-to-face, her façade would crumble and the underlying despair would leap forth.

Shinji was having his own little crisis at the moment as well. It's not every day that someone stabs you in the head and you're fortunate enough to live through it. Inside the plug, memories came pouring back into Shinji's head. He knew what was coming and he didn't like it, as cathartic as it was to just let go, that absolute freedom also scared him. He remembered back to Touji's little sister and the countless others that he had inadvertently killed in his little romp. Of all of the experiences associated with the angle war this was one of the worst. He needed an out, a way to escape from all of this. Some sort of detachment he could blame his action on, a scapegoat if you will. Sometimes providence shines upon those in need.

A voice came wafting through his head, it was a quiet, breathy voice that seemed to echo on for eternity, but he instinctively knew its origin. "Mother."

"It is good to see you again, my son." The disembodied voice spoke emotionlessly, yet the words themselves still held a warmth most desperately needed. "It has been far too long."

"Fifty years is a long time isn't it?" Shinji choked out. It had been so long since he had been this close to her, the only good thing that came from his time in service of the world.

"Fifty years?"

It was hard for Shinji not to laugh at the voice in his head, as odd of a statement as that may seem to be. "I'll explain soon, mother, but right now I'm being killed, so time is of the essence."

"True words." The words combined to form a message of acceptance but also questioning how to alleviate this unwanted end. The voice still spoke robotically. "You seek the power I can give but fear its consequences, a simple solution is this."

Outwardly the pyroclastic flow of blood from Shingoki's gaping head wound stopped almost instantaneously. The pooled blood crystallized and sublimated in less than a second as Sachiel closed in for the kill. The vapors flew back to Unit 01's face, where they regenerated lost flesh, their armored trappings long gone. Regaining its footing as it crawled out from under a pile of capitalism, the monster threw its head back and, breaking its bound mouth, let out a roar, not of rage but of elation.

In the command center everything sprang back to life again. Readings, charts, and graphs assailed all present in a deluge of useless information. In the face of the situation, it all seemed so pointless. The weapon was operational again; what else mattered? Misato could barely hold in her excitement as Unit 1 landed the first real blow of the conflict, a leaping axe kick, launching unexpectedly from a crouch that spanned the greater part of a kilometer.

Sachiel then suffered the indignity of Shinji's best Guile impression as it launched itself back to its starting position. The how's and whys of the maneuver would never come from upon high, because in the end, the ends justify the means. But in the back of everyone's minds it lingered: the Eva shouldn't be able to do that. But really, how can you look a gift horse in the mouth, right?

Oddly enough Shinji chose not to press his attack. He allowed the angel to regain its bearing and renew its assault. Orders once again rang out in his head, he had quickly grown tired of the ideas of people who had never done the deed, let alone even sat in his cockpit.' Yeah, it is mine isn't it?' The thought came to him in a passing notion, one that was quickly quashed.

The stride of each combatant exuded nothing but confidence in the outcome of this heavyweight bout. When Shinji hit the invisible wall a mere notion was all he needed to bring his AT field into the visual plane. Outwardly neither side showed any strain as the first haymaker landed. Raising his left arm and placing it palm flat against the metaphysical battle of wills, a horrendous cacophony of noise battered at the eardrums of all within distance. Their AT fields began to contort wildly, vying for some weak point to exploit.

Headsets all across the command center were thrown away as some checked their ears for bleeding in amazement at this new form of auditory war. The sound was akin to the rending of a massive I-beam by nothing more than pure physical force, the wretched noise suddenly ended a mere moment before the AT fields shattered like so much glass. The explosion occurred away from Unit 01as the shards broke the sound barrier in the span of less than a football field and buried themselves up to the proverbial hilt in Sachiel's chest and face. They flickered once and then twice, finally winking out of existence like rainbow colored death.

It was now the aggressor's turn to bleed.

Its response came quickly in the form of a double-barreled shot of 'Fuck you too.' The energy attack washed over Shinji like a tsunami, but he feared no evil: for he carried a big stick and he was the meanest motherfucker in the valley.

They say turn about is fair play, and today, it was a mantra. The favor of broken arms was returned in spades as Sachiel's were ripped from its body at the shoulder. A mule-like kick to the chest sent humanity's destruction flying through three high-rises and, before its senses returned, a charging Unit 1 speared it to the ground. What followed was more of a UFC match than any kind of "civilized" combat. After a pummeling, one of Sachiel's exoskeletal ribs was snapped off and used like a prison shiv, the brutality of the action stunning even Shinji's estranged father. He felt almost proud.

Stopping right before the death blow, the purple titan tilted his head to the side as if it were a confused puppy. The answer to this unasked question was self destruction, followed by a rain of blood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SCENE BREAK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rei stood over the body of Asuka, her blood quickly congealing in the pool she laid in. Her face contorted as she grinned, her grin growing to almost comical proportions as she shed a single tear. It was red, like blood.

Snap to reality and Shinji's heads about to crack. The living dead have it better than this was the thought going though the head of one injured 14-year-old. Well at least he thought he was injured, the quick once-over showed him none the worse for wear. The dull, throbbing ache that ran down his spine and to the tips of every appendage, and we do mean every, told him otherwise. Falling back into bed Shinji stared blankly at the ceiling.

"I hate this damn place so much."

His cracking, 14-year-old voice belied the true repulsion he held for the current institution he resided in. The door to his room opened abruptly and in stepped the enemy. "You," was the only response Shinji could muster as he turned his face back towards the ceiling, not caring to look upon his visage.

"You did well today, son. The losses were acceptable and the damage to Unit 1 was minimal in the end. We could have hardly designed a better outcome. If this continues, you will reap the rewards, I assure you." A about face and Gendo retreated from whence he came. The entire meeting lasted only 17 seconds but to Shinji it was some kind of rerun of _The Twilight Zone_, one of the good ones. From the first season.

'That has to be one of the fucking weirdest things to happen in my entire life and that's saying something.' He replayed the happening over and over in his head for a while, 53 minutes and 19 seconds by the clock on the wall, but it always came back to one point. His father had praised him, in his own awkward, gruff, emotionless way, yes but it was still praise. Shinji couldn't recall a single time in his life that his father had ever done anything even remotely similar to that. Unfortunately his musing was interrupted by a knock at the door. Shinji was afraid to respond to it-who knew what the outcome could be this time?-but with his lack of response came a lack of entrance on the part of the other party.

This of course gave away the intruder. "Come in Rei. It's open," he said sitting up in bed to greet her. The door opened and no one was there. The door was set to open when a weight greater than 50 pounds was on the sensor just beneath the floor in front of it. This occurrence struck Shinji as odd. Laying back down, he figured that it must have been someone just walking a bit too close on their way through the hall. As sleep retook the third child he though back to his freaky dreams and hoped it was something they put into the IV.

Waking up the next morning to Misato entering the room was pretty much what he expected, though the timing was wrong. By now he was almost expecting the details to never match up, the biggest loop he had been through was his dad. It was supposed to be a tense meeting in an elevator, not some odd visitation. He would have to contemplate that later, right now there were more pressing matters. And that matter was carrying a large, brown paper bag.

"Well Shinji, how was your beauty sleep?" She cheerily asked as she sat in a chair she had brought with her from the hall outside and put a duffle bag beside her on the floor. "They tell me that you seem to be ok so it's time to check you out."

"Why aren't you mad at me?" Shinji asked as Misato's all-too-happy demeanor became off-putting to him. "I disobeyed almost every direct order you gave me; I even killed the comm link."

"You won Shinji, isn't that enough? Besides, it was the first time on the first day, I figured a bit of leeway was in order. Do you want me to throw you in the brig? Will that placate your guilt?" Turning her chair to face Shinji directly, Misato looked into his eyes, making Shinji feel like some kind of lab rat. The sense of being analyzed was impossible to shake. She looked like a lion probing the defenses of a wildebeest heard for some weakness. They traded idle chitchat for a few more minutes, but Shinji felt the need to somehow keep it superficial, he didn't like what Misato was trying to accomplish. The verbal sparing over, Misato took her leave to get Shinji a wheelchair as he got dressed with a change of clothes she had brought in.

The elevator ride was uneventful, a fact that almost made Shinji sad for a reason he couldn't put a finger on. Misato continued to talk to Shinji during the trip; it was pleasant conversation that no longer felt probing. Shinji was having a hard time putting the two versions of Misato into one conceptual picture, as a man of his age he had a lot of life experience to draw from but he had never come upon a situation quite like this. It wasn't bipolar disorder or any kind of purposeful two-facedness. He almost wished it was something he could easily label and move on with his day, but things recently had proven to be anything but accommodating.

Arriving at their destination Misato informed Shinji of his first debriefing, after which she would once again pick him up. He asked about the uselessness of his wheelchair, as he had woken up this morning feeling miraculously better. She assured him it was hospital policy until he was legally released from the hospital and then took her leave of him. The single thought running though his head was how much he wanted a stiff drink. When Shinji realized he weighed, what, 75 pounds soaking wet, and had none of his old built up immunity, he just wanted a gun to put himself out of his misery. Even looking at the good stuff would probably leave him with a hangover, now.

Four hours later he was wheeled out into the hallway and just left there, he was about to find the nearest trash can to throw the chair at when Misato rounded the corner.

"I was informed that you have been assigned as my guardian while I am in the service of the government." Shinji's voice was about as happy sounding as it could have been expected to be. Misato made no decision this time, it was an order. That fact had hit him really hard. He wanted to ask questions about it during the debriefing, but they assured him it was in his best interest, for his safety, and blah blah blah. He died a little bit inside.

"Yep, my place is a bit of a mess but…" She paused for a bit as she got behind Shinji and placed her hands on his shoulders, forcing him to remain in the chair. "I'm sure in no time it will be home sweet home for you. In fact I just moved in there myself. About two months ago I think." Misato continued to talk Shinji's ear off as they exited the HQ and then the Geofront itself. He actively participated in the conversation and tried to bury his sadness, finding the act of keeping it out of his voice and demeanor difficult but doable. The little game he was playing with Misato only made him feel worse, he had held out hope that once inside her car she would throw herself at him with hugs and tears and love. But none came, it was painfully obvious she was oblivious and he was truly alone, more so than the first time; at least back then he had the support of others, even though he denied it or pushed it away. But in this brave new world he was an island, and it seemed he would have to stand alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~SCENE BREAK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pulling into a convenience store a few miles from the Geofront's eastern exit, Shinji wandered aimlessly through the isles as Misato ran from spot to spot stopping and grabbing some useless piece of semi-flavored cardboard and excitedly exclaiming its virtue to Shinji from across the store.

The only other people besides them and the poor bastard manning the register was an elderly set of women. They didn't even seem to be looking for anything, more like just making laps across the shop as they chatted away in some mockery of a track and field event.

"They said that NERV would be issuing a statement in the next few days after they have cleaned that mess up," said the one on the left, Shinji taking no care in their appearance, only in the odd way they seemed to be attempting to whisper and lean close to each other when they spoke. But since both were so hard of hearing he could hear them even over Misato when they were across the store. Old people are weird, he thought to himself. He hoped he never got that old. The irony of the thought never struck him.

"Those heretics should all be lined up and crucified or burned at the stake Miho," said righty to lefty.

"For shame Mei, they saved our lives from that monster. How could you say that about them?" Lefty's words were chastising but the tone seemed almost bored as if this conversation had been repeated a hundred times in just the last day. Maybe they had Alzheimer's or something.

"They are killing the messengers of God, how can that be good?" asked righty in a scandalized fashion.

"Oh, you silly Catholics. Did that thing have little wings and a harp? Hm? It didn't look like a baby to me," spoke lefty, very amused with herself.

"That's a cherub, you old bat. You're going crazy in your old age, you know that?" Righty retorted laughing at her old friend.

"Regardless, I want to see the young man who saved our life. I hope he's some good looking piece of meat." Lefty garnered a stare from her friend with that one.

"Miho, you're a pervert," Righty feigned shock but continued on, "but if the heathen has to be on TV you're right, he should have the decency to at least be eye candy."

"For once you make sense; it only took you 37 years." They both laughed and continued on with their laps around the store, completely oblivious to the fact that Shinji had been openly eavesdropping the entire time.

'Great, my first day out and the local little old lady wants to take me out. I'm off to a great start.' Shinji stood there thinking to himself as he had a very large weight dropped on his lap. He hoped the boys made it out of the savage assault OK.

"OK, we're all set here; I think it's time to head home after one more quick stop," said Misato as she strode to the counter and waited for Shinji to bring up the rear with the supplies.

"What else could you possibly need?" came the incredulous question from behind the K2 of junk food.

"The next stop isn't for me." Replied Misato as Shinji finally arrived with dinner and the moron behind the counter went about his task, every second of his life worse than the one before. You could have mistaken him for Randal from Clerks if you squinted at him just right.

The trip to the ridge happened exactly like Shinji remembered it, even down to the smallest detail. But this time he felt like the city looked desolate and lonely rather than grand. It just exuded a feeling of barely contained desperation, but maybe he was projecting, who knows? The last few days had been messed up; time to just sit and take it all in had been at a premium. He expected a panic attack when he got to sit and breathe.

Then came the whammy: "Hey, why are we going back to the Geofront?" asked Shinji.

"That's where I live silly. I mean, I'm an officer so I live on base, of course. Didn't I tell you about that earlier?" A short look was given to him but she quickly turned her eyes back to the road as she flew down it like a bat out of hell.

Shinji opened his mouth to spew protests but stopped himself. 'Well really, what's it matter? It will be safer and closer to the front when the next one comes. I guess its no big deal after all.' A "Hm" was his external reply as he continued to run contingencies through his head, weighing the pros and cons of living so close to the silver pyramid. Of course, whatever he decided didn't matter, the captain wasn't going to move, so it was just a way for him to retreat into his mind and keep himself busy. Misato offered no further interruptions.

The housing complex was the exact one he was used to, just in a different location. It was eerie, but when you piloted a 40-story-tall robot some things are just easier to swallow. The apartment was still full of beer; he still sucked at paper, rock, scissors; and Pen-Pen still somehow managed to scare the crap out of him. He expected him and he still screamed like a little girl. At least this time he didn't flash anyone, small favors and all that. After Misato went to her room, Shinji stole a beer and downed in one go and promptly nearly blew chunks. He had forgotten how shitty Japanese beer was; a lifetime of the good German stuff had spoiled him. Not even the little mercies were getting through, what else could go wrong now?

Digging through his delivered boxes, he fished out his, to his perspective at least, ancient S-Dat. Getting into bed and setting it to play he got about ten seconds into it when he damn near threw himself up to his feet. Walking over to the waste basket he gave one last long look at the device before he tossed it away.

"I _really_ need to get some new music."

He took out his cello, sat in the living room and played it for the next three hours as his mind rested. It was cathartic and lovely as he flowed from Bach's Cello Suite 1st movement, Prelude, to the 3rd Suite Sarabande 4th movement. From Miklos Csemiczty's one-minute short stories into Karl Davidov's Cello concerto in both B-major and A-minor and so on. When it struck midnight he put his companion away and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Misato, on the other hand, sat in her bedroom and talked in hushed tones to Ristuko, bothered by some nagging inconsistencies. "I don't get it at all Rits; he's nothing like his psyche report said he would be. I can't figure the kid out. He keeps jumping all over the place mentally. I think you may need to run some serious tests on him, we can't afford to have an unstable pilot." Misato's message was a mixture of concern and military "no BS," attitude though the voice belied none of her concern for her ward.

"Hm, the commander was very pleased with his performance and his attitude about it all, so I'll see what I can do, but it really all comes down to what he wants done." A happy Gendo always ended up well for Dr. Akag,i so she wasn't very likely to buck any trends he found pleasing. Misato knew this and didn't expect any results for the time being so she had no choice but to let it slide.

"I just want the record to note that I brought it up is all, my dear doctor." She paused as Rits gave an affirmation, pleasant goodbyes were exchanged, and that was it.

Walking to her door and opening it just enough to watch the boy play, Misato stood there for a good ten minutes. As he flowed from one song to the next, his head slowly moved with the music, his face one of calm and thoughtful execution, his skill apparent. Misato couldn't put the boy she saw now and the one she met yesterday morning together, but by putting herself in his shoes things began to fall into place. It's times like these when you have to put your military training aside and think like a real person. She wanted to go and talk to him. The young man was going to be living with her for most likely a good amount of time, but she couldn't bring herself to break his stride. Tomorrow she would work on building some bridges with the guy. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

Across the Geofront, Rei Ayanami sat in her bed crying silently. Partly because of the physical pain, but mostly she was happy. She was so happy couldn't wait for the sun to rise again. 'Maybe tomorrow Shinji will come by; there is so much we have to talk about.'

The people watching her saw her crying and upped the pain meds. She went out like a light.

AN: Ok I'm posting links to pictures of some of the main characters, they were taken from the new movie. I'm sure 99.9% of you have seen the series but I don't know how many have seen the movie so I'm giving out the updated versions. I'm also adding in the picture for the third angel, should have done that last chapter but oh well. The writing in said pics is just their names so don't worry about what it says.

I'm posting the rest of the pictures as follows, in some cases the pic won't match perfectly with the scene. If that is the case then the picture is just to give a visual representation of what's going on.

Berserk Shingoki (unit 1)

Remains of Sachiel

Shinji's nightmare (no she's not a werewolf or some other bullshit)

Misato overlooking the city

Tokyo 3

Misato's apartment (until Asuka shows up Shinji stays in Asuka's room)

On the first page of that thread you can see what I consider to be this story's banner. It pretty much sums up this series for me.

Most important part about this chapter is the 3 important plot points. They are well hidden, so well that even my pre readers didn't pick up on them. And that makes me glad, I want this story to be so well woven that you have to read it over again when it ends to pick up on all of the important bits. If you can guess the important parts then bravo and let the guessing begin.

Raining Blood, its lyrics and all aspects of it belong to Slayer and their respective copyright holders. I own nothing.

BIG PROPS TO HIBIKI FOR ALL HIS HELP


	4. O' Fortuna

O Fortuna

Am I but your clockwork hero?

From here in the last ditch  
Toe to toe, blow for blow -  
You are the enigma  
Well nevermind!  
The future's already happened  
And there is always someone left to fight to the death  
With every breath inside this body -  
My dreams are what's keeping me alive!

And it is wise to be careful when the animal shows no fear  
Puny human - you are no match for me  
For things are never as they appear

Now I've been freed from the ropes that bind  
Well who is the puppet master?  
Dishing out an eye for an eye and spitting teeth  
Well you'll never take me alive!  
O Fortuna  
Am I alone in this darkness we call redemption  
Well I could not change you  
No more than I could change my shadow  
No more than I could fly to the moon

As the crimson-eyed pilot of Unit 00 woke, her enthusiasm was unabated. As a truly happy smile spread across her features, she arose from the hospital bed and removed all the various sensors and IVs that were strewn across her damaged frame. She still wasn't in the best of conditions but she had much more important things to worry about.

The clock on the wall beamed 9:46 AM with its digital, neon green face. It was a bit later than she would have liked to finish her usual morning rituals but the feeling quickly passed. With such trivialities now pushed to the back of her mind, she half walked, half hobbled back to her bed. Now thoroughly tired, she quickly passed out despite her protests. Perhaps things weren't as far along as she had assumed, but by her calculations Shinji would be in training right now anyway. Taking this into account when she next turned to her right and surveyed the clock, the digital taskmaster said 5:56 PM.

The previously removed doodads were now latched back onto her, a fact that left her miffed. Sighing at the fact that she was right back where she started only eight hours later with nothing to show for it, she vowed to find out if her dreamless sleep had been chemically-induced or not. If it had been there would be hell to pay.

By now Shinji was probably gone for the day, so she had no chance of seeing him. With this turn of events she closed her eyes again and wished that having angel DNA gave her better super powers, where's time travel when you need it? Some private time later might be needed to test herself, but for now she hit the morphine button and went back to sleep. She had no better way to spend her time in the hospital to be honest.

As Rei knocked herself out, across the Geofront Shinji was putting the finishing touches on his first training session. Needless to say all those involved were surprised by his knowledge of the various emergence points, weapon caches, and power plug locations. A few slight exaggerations of the truth and all was settled satisfactorily in the mind of a woman who three days from now would be raised to the rank of Major. Yet another change that Shinji was a bit shocked by, but at this point taking the small things in stride was getting to be an everyday occurrence.

Misato closed off the comm link to the Eva momentarily and spoke. "Well, what do you think guys?" the wording ironic due to the fact that the only people in the room were Maya, Ritsuko, and herself.

"His skill is amazing. We flew through what should have been a four-hour program in just over seventy minutes." Maya's tone came across as very pleased with the proceedings. Like a pro, she parsed through the code that flew across the screen in front of her. 'Perhaps now she could get off a bit early.' spoke her inner voice, squealing with delight.

"Honestly, I would have been more surprised if it had taken him the full time, he seems to have an unnatural acclimation to using the system." Turning away from Maya to face Misato, Dr. Akagi continued in her stiff and analytical tone. "We've all been through the debriefing, seen the video at least a dozen times. This kid has a talent I didn't think was possible. We've collected all the necessary samples from him to begin testing, but the next few days I'll be moving him from machine to machine and prodding him further to figure out what makes him different. If I can isolate it, we could disseminate it to the other pilot candidates."

Taking a seat at her work station, the talking lab coat began to type faster than Misato could speak and flew from one screen to the next. Years ago Misato had realized that trying to watch Ritsuko work gave her a headache, so she turned her attention back to an inquisitive Maya.

"So when will Shinji be starting at the Academy?" Maya's all too caring, seemingly childish actions and frame of mind were annoying to most of the people around her, but men thought she was cute and her skill as a programmer was undeniable, so the upper echelons put up with her.

"In about two weeks is what I'm told. The commander wants me to introduce him to that new guy we brought over from Germany. I think his name was Ernst. Yeah that's it, Bren Ernst." Misato snapped her fingers as she remembered the guy's name, a bit too proud of herself.

"The CQC guy?" the faux blond asked, never taking her eyes off her screen. "What's so important about him that the pilot needs to be held back?"

"Apparently, the commander thinks he needs to catch-up with all the other trainees so when he joins he won't slow them down any. Not sure how two weeks of PT will do that, but it's his call." Misato's offhanded reply conveyed that she was obviously annoyed with Gendo's decision.

"Well, that's fine really. It gives us more time to acclimate him to the organization, his training schedule, and various other things, right?" Maya's chipper tone was true to her 'hard-to-get-me-down' nature.

"As fast as he's moving along, I bet he could get it in two days, not weeks, is all I'm trying to get at Maya," Misato said as she walked towards the door and checked her watch, places to go people to see, and all that. "Better get the hospital on speed dial, though Rits. I've seen this Ernst guy and he's going to tear Shinji apart." were her last words as the sliding door closed off the room once again.

"Poor kid had no idea what he was getting himself into, did he?" Maya's tone was sympathetic.

A labored grunt was the only reply.

Soon after our blue-haired angel woke up, numerous faceless doctors came around in some sort of poking and prodding circus. By the end of it all, so many people had had a good look at her that she felt she should have charged them for it. Rei was far from self-conscious, it was something she had gotten over decades ago, but the sense of invasion was still there. Rei would later chalk it up to the unfortunate hormones and assorted chemicals involved with being a 14-year-old girl. Some measure of regret was associated with her inability to overcome them, but so it goes.

The disquieting thing about it all was how they never talked to her or asked her to do anything. They moved her around as if she would be unable to do it under her own power and treated her as Sorhyu once had, as an object. Rage and sadness fought for control of her as the investigations were conducted. She wanted to yell and proclaim her individuality, to stamp on their brains that she was a person with feelings. But in the end she did nothing, it really was more trouble that it was worth; bringing suspicion upon herself would get her nowhere.

As she lay in bed to pass the time, she contemplated what might happen if she was to be replaced again. Would she still remember the past? Or was this a one-shot deal? So many questions, the most important being 'Am I alone?' She had seen Shinji but was in so much pain that the world more accurately resembled a drunken man looking through a fish eye lens. She was hoping for some sort of ally, most of all Shinji. Rei doubted her ability to handle being given a second chance only to be alone again. But this wasn't a time for negative thought. No. As a shit eating grin spread across her face all of the possibilities were laid bare before her. So much needed to be done, could be done, lives to save and endless scenarios. The feeling that came over her could be best described as giddy.

Much had changed in Rei's life in the forty years after the war. Vivid memories of the hard months after it had ended haunted her dreams for the majority of her previous life. But it had been Shinji that had rallied all of his friends to help her. As fragile as he had been, it was all to clear that she had suffered the most, a feat no one wished to rival seeing as how their entire group had been fucked over by life. Of course as they all stewed in their own personal hells very little changed for years, but suffering in a group is slightly better than suffering alone.

It had been Hikari that first pulled Kensuke out of his funk. That duo had been the least effected by the tragedy that was the war against the angels and served as the real catalyst. Hikari spent nearly every waking moment working with Asuka for almost two years before she got anything but blind rage and venom thrown her way, but Hikari was as insurmountable as she had ever been and in the end prevailed. Ken did very little but listen to Shinji. Remarkably he had so much to say, so many things he had held up inside. Ken knew his friend well enough to know that any sort of prodding would have just ended up with Shinji withdrawing further. So, playing the idiot, he ignored all of his friends's problems until Shinji couldn't take his stupidity any longer and exploded on him. Ken was far more devious than he had ever been given credit for. An ear to scream into and lots of patience won the day; Shinji would never forget what his friend had done for him.

But as the breakthroughs were made for everyone else, Rei had been relegated to the sidelines again, much as she had expected. Shinji had "tried" to help, if you call sitting around and not talking more than 3 words a day to each other helping. But when things began to look up for him, he had disappeared to try and put his own life back together. As Shinji's teenage years were winding to a close, one thing had lead to another: he had began his life with Asuka. Back on track for the first time, he had been revolted at his own behavior and how Rei had changed little in the past years after being left behind. Much to Asuka's chagrin, Shinji devoted a great portion of his college years to bringing someone he had once considered a friend back to life as it were.

The collegial environment had been an eye opener to Rei. Throwing herself into schooling while a safety net of friends supported her, she excelled. Still quiet and reserved, she had nonetheless exploded from the standpoint of her previous existence.

As other people had their stumbles and setbacks, she was always there, the least she could do for the people who had done so much for her. As college ended and marriage and kids enveloped her friends's lives, she settled into a professional existence, not the best of circumstance to be sure, but really considering the alternatives every day was a blessing. She had the lifelong friends she never knew she wanted and that was good enough for her.

As Rei's stroll down memory lane continued on, a knock at the door jolted her.

A visible shake indicated the sudden call back to reality. She didn't even know if she should answer or keep silent, her mind fighting back and forth over to keep cover or not. But in the second of indecision the question was answered for her.

"I'm coming in." The voice harked back to a time best forgotten by all involved, and her heart swelled as she slipped on her emotional mask.

His entrance was full of trepidation and uneasiness not lost on the former doctor. With it the previous happiness drained out of her like it was the Grand Teton dam. Shinji shut the door and quietly and slowly made his way over to her bedside. Standing there for a moment he said nothing and grabbed a chair from the nearby desk, taking a seat. The moment dragged on and a painfully pregnant pause set in. Rei watched his eyes dart all over her body and face, she could nearly see the thoughts racing in his head. After the better part of a minute he settled down and locked eyes with her, she could feel him searching for something, anything really.

Rei would feel rather foolish when she thought back to this encounter with her old friend, but the situation dictated an off-the-beaten-path approach. It was reminiscent of a couple after their first knock-down, drag-out fight. Both were sorry but had no idea how to breach the topic or assuage the other's fear Rei's first response was minute at best, a small nod of her head. It held so much hidden meaning that she doubted Shinji would pick up on it. She knew this place was bugged and she was watched 24/7; they couldn't really talk here. Not about all the things Rei had on the tip of her tongue.

After a moment, Shinji took a most unaccounted-for action, in Rei's mind at least, by reaching out and giving her hand the lightest of squeezes. It was barely more than a glancing touch but it caused her to pull her hand away as if burned. The involuntary reaction boggled her as much as it did him. They locked eyes again and her apology was evident. She watched Shinji stand again and turn, leaving the room and her without a word spoken. If she could have banged her head against the wall without raising suspicion she would have, her condition be damned. He had been right there and all her planning had flown out the nearest window. Indecision had reigned over her, she had acted like a timid little girl instead of the aged adult she was. The irony of the situation or of the thought was not lost on her. As the minutes dragged with no sign of his return, her resignation overcame her and a few silent tears slipped out of her closed eyes as she faced the ceiling.

An overwhelming sense of defeat invaded her and she began to think she may have blown her only chance to reach out to the fragile child she had once known. The struggle of mind versus body is a hard one for any person of her physical age, let alone one in the predicament she was currently in. One would think it an easy task with her life experiences, but in reality things are never as easy as they appear.

A nondescript amount of time passed before, as suddenly as he left, the door opened again with no pause for custom's sake. Rei kept her eyes closed as footsteps and another new noise rang out. Turning back to her right there stood Shinji, within arms reach, a wheelchair in tow.

"C'mon, let's get you out of here," was all he said as he offered her his hand. Giving a passing glance to the window, her observers sat behind; Rei almost dared them to act. But nothing came and she was assisted into sitting up.

"Do you need any of these?" Shinji said as he motioned to the various machines littered across the room. His voice, while juvenile-sounding due the current physiology, concealed none of his experience.

Rei was having an increasingly difficult and cumbersome time getting herself into position to transition to the chair. She had never been in this much pain before. Shinji put his hand on her shoulder and stopped her futile attempts as he lent her a helping hand in getting to her feet.

The task done, he turned his back on her allowing her the privacy she needed. The sound of assorted plastic and metal items hitting cold linoleum drew his attention moments later as she stood before him now. Rei's countenance was a mixture of repressed physical pain and emotional happiness, her EKG had read flat line for quite some time now and no aid had come. He found that odd but in the end it would have accomplished nothing but hindering Rei's goals.

As Shinji removed Rei from the premises, nary a glance was given their way by the staff. Apathy or whatever induced their lack of reaction mattered not to Rei. If they had stared and stood in her way the undeniable urge to remove them by whatever means necessary could have overwhelmed her. She hated hospitals.

The minutes changed as often as did their direction, all the while each member of this caravan was lost in their own heads. When she came to a full and complete halt, she found herself surprised at their destination. It was a white gazebo with a weathered brown roof sitting on the edge of an artificial creek. Fish swam up and down its crystal waters as they darted in out of the shade offered by the trees that hung over their home. The distant song of larks and sparrows could be heard and a slight breeze blew in from the south. As artificial as the creek itself or the transplanted wildlife were, it was an adequate visage.

"What is this place?" Rei's utterance contained amazement.

"I remembered it from back when Kaji showed me his melon patch. He said he spent a lot of time here because no one was ever around. 'Too busy saving the world or some such' was what he told me." His articulation started out introspective, but as he mimicked Kaji's voice as best he could, humor crept into it.

"Bless that man," she spoke as she tried to lift herself from her chair with the help of the banister's railing. Shinji moved to assist her but she waved him away. "I'm a grown woman; I can stand on my own, thank you very much." No malice was apparent in her speech.

"Don't look it to me, I remember you having fuller hips and breasts last time I saw you," came a deadpan reply. Her response was a combination blush and the classic 'I think I have something in my eye maneuver'. It brought forth much needed levity from the both of them.

As Rei now stood fully erect under her own power, Shinji moved her chair out of the way and engulfed her in as strong a hug as he figured she could take. "I'm so happy to see you again," he whispered softly into her ear as his voice quaked with emotion.

"Me too," was her teary reply.

As morning became afternoon, they passed the time talking about their experiences so far and far flung theories as to what had happened. As hunger set in, Shinji left to gather them up some lunch as Rei slowly and painfully made her way down to the water's edge. Sitting on the bank, she dipped her feet into the cool waters, all of it against Shinji's expressed wishes. Upon his return and predictable condemnation, they ate their full and resumed the more serious portion of their talk.

"I remember the 7th coming on September 11th and the 4th comes three weeks after this first one. So at least well be ready for it right?" Shinji was staring off in the aether as he tabulated dates and reaching far back into his memory. He sat about two feet from Rei facing her, her feetl still dangling in the stream. She said it was because it was refreshing, Shinji had a sneaking suspicion she did it just because it was bothering him. But eh, what are you going to do about your old friends anyway?

Rei finally relented and turned to face Shinji, drawing his attention back to earth just as she pulled her wrinkled feet out of the watery heaven. "September? I remember it happening in early December," Rei's left eyebrow raised in a questioning motion. "I think old age is finally getting to you Mr. Ikari," she said as she again tried to stand. Shinji, of course, was there in an instant helping her to her feet. "I'm not as helpless as I used to be ya know; got to let me have some kind of independence." It seemed that the smile that graced her face was plastered on. The fact had not missed Shinji, who if pressed, would admit that it lifted his spirits as well. Not to mention the fact that if Rei had recollections of the past then Asuka would as well. A topic they would definitely have to discuss soon.

"That's impossible Blue, I know it was the 11th because of it being two days before the anniversary of the second impact." Shinji was promptly pinched on his arm for using the nickname Rei hated so much, as he knew he would be, but never broke stride with Rei just in case she needed him.

"I'm sorry about what you think you remember but I know for a fact that it was in December. The third if I remember correctly." Rei's rebuttal came as she sat again on the gazebo bench, sighing deeply after the exertion was over.

"Ok, this is a serious problem we have on our hands." Shinji took up residence on the opposite side of the building as if he was The Thinker himself.

"How is it in anyway serious? It's just a mix-up in some dates, the important thing is we know when the next attack is coming. Let's take it one step at a time for now." Rei's pleasantness dropped now as matters became direr, at least from Shinji's point of view.

"Well if we can't come to a consensus amongst ourselves then I think we need to bring more outside sources." At this point Shinji stood and began to pace back and forth, arms crossed over his chest. "I think that we need to start testing more people's memories to see how far spread the recollection is. Like I told you earlier, I know Misato doesn't know anything, so that's a dead end. But I think next we need to try Hikari, Touji, and Kensuke as soon as we get back to school." His words came out in a stream of consciousness, barely time for breathing between statements.

"Well we have to worry about bringing suspicion upon ourselves though, just in case we are the only ones. Wait, what about Asuka? We need to try and get a hold of her as well." The realization that Asuka had slipped past their discussion came as a blow to Rei, someone who prided herself for her thoroughness.

"I was thinking that same thing but really we aren't even supposed to know about her existence yet. So how can we hide that? I mean, you know her. She hears from us and she will go crazy in trying to get here or start calling us 24/7. You know that was a tough time in her life, she would kill a man to get away from that." He finally stopped pacing but now started making wild gesticulations.

"Stop that." her words straight to the point, unusual for her even now.

"Huh, what are you talking about?"

"Whenever you start talking or thinking about Asuka you get frantic and antsy, calm down."

"I...I was, wasn't I? Man, that's odd, I never even noticed it before." Shinji retook his original spot across from Rei and began to wring his hands as he stared at them contemplatively.

"That's because you only do it when she's not around, she shows up and you seem to calm down." Rei was now staring off, not wanting to look at Shinji when he was giving off these bad vibes.

"You've really changed haven't you?" Shinji asked after a long pause in the conversation, his eyes still downcast.

"What do you mean?"

"Listen to you. You seen so much more, animated I guess would be the word. Relaxed maybe? Your speech pattern has changed drastically, you haven't noticed?" He pulled his gaze back up to address her more directly.

"It's not that I have changed, it is more like I am finally able to be myself. Even before, I felt a need to keep up appearances. It was the easiest thing for everyone to see me as I was. Thus I kept myself, in check, I guess you could say."

Feeling uncomfortable discussing her previous deception, Rei changed the topic to take his mind off of her for a moment. She started in on something that had been bothering her since she had overheard the orderlies talking about is as they vacated the building earlier in the day.

"Have you talked to anyone about when we have to start school again? One of the orderlies in the hall was talking about me and not starting at the academy on time because of my injuries. Why did he refer to it as an academy?" Her rapt attention was now solely on Shinji and his obvious attempts to shed her gaze. "Why won't you look at me Shinji? What's going on?" Concern worked its way into her system and she attempted to stand, but failed. As the day dragged on she felt weaker and weaker, but as Shinji had spent the whole day fawning over her she kept it from him.

"We're going to a military academy Rei, there are no schools above ground for us. The only time we're going to be leaving the Geofront is on days when we get clearance to go. We live in a fortress city, far more now than ever before. From what I understand, all of our old class is there like normal since they were all pilot candidates." Shinji's baleful stare was cast into the wood planks beneath his feet as he continued to ramble on.

"They have me reading an announcement tomorrow to the public, explaining the first fight and all that. They're going to alter my voice to make me sound older, like an officer in the army or some bullshit. Cant have a fourteen-year-old killing giant monsters for the government, now can we?" At this point Shinji took to his feet again, and crossing the span of the gazebo, sat to the left of Rei's feet, facing away from her.

"Misato told me when we go into public we have to keep our identities hidden, which really shouldn't be too hard since people are only going to know us by our name. She said it was far too dangerous for people to know what we look like, security risk and all that. It's for real this time Rei, it isn't the old fun and games. I have CQC in about two hours. I've been told I'm behind everyone else." The delivery of his speech made it seem as if he would continue on, but he merely let his words hang in the artificial breeze.

Rei placed a caring hand on his shoulder and let it sit there a moment as she contemplated her next statement. "I only hope that we can make some kind of a difference this time."

Shinji covered her hand with his and no further words were exchanged.

AN: The song "O Fortuna", its lyrics and all parts thereof belong to Amplifier (one of the best bands in history) and their respective copyright holders. Every single line in that song has an important hidden message with the Eva series, my story, or one of the series characters. If you can figure out the who's and what's please let me know.

CQC = close quarters combat

PT = physical training

CO = Commanding officer

Lots of thanks to my pre-readers Syo, Snow and now Hibiki.


	5. Parabol

PARABOL

So familiar and overwhelmingly warm.  
This one, this form I hold now.  
Embracing you, this reality here,  
This one, this form I hold now, so  
Wide eyed and hopeful.  
Wide eyed and hopefully wild.

We barely remember what came before this precious moment,  
Choosing to be here right now. Hold on, stay inside...  
This body holding me, reminding me that I am not alone in…  
This body makes me feel eternal. All this pain is an illusion.

Recorded audio message from one Lt. Shinji Ikari, reported to be age 18, pilot of Evangelion Unit 1. It would be repeated on every major news channel in Japan and around the world ad nauseum for several weeks in the late summer of 2015.

_My name is Lieutenant Shinji Ikari of NERV. On the 4__th__ of August at 8:15 PM I engaged the target designated as the 4__th__ Angel, Sachiel, in the city of Tokyo 3. This designation was decided upon by the committees who oversee my organization. After a successful evacuation, the use of N2 mines was granted by the UN Security Council in an effort to put as few members of the populace at risk as possible. Unfortunately the attack was unsuccessful and the target assaulted NERV headquarters in Tokyo 3. At the cost of many lives, both in the military and public sectors, my sortie was successful and the battle won. There are currently no accurate estimates as to the monetary damage sustained by Tokyo 3 and surrounding areas, but as soon as reliable numbers begin to come in the public will be addressed. At this time I am here to announce to you that we are at war. _

_The battle of August 4__th__ was merely with the vanguard of a large invasion force. It was not an attack by forces domestic or foreign, but otherworldly in origin. I know that this will come as a shock to many of you out there. You have questions and fears about the coming days. Rest assured that the entire world is united against this threat and the use of the new weapon system developed by NERV, the Evangelion, has proven successful. There are trying times ahead, but we survived the Second Impact and we will survive this._

_Until this threat passes, I and my compatriots around the world will continue to defend you, the people of Japan, and the rest of mankind. I ask for your patience and your support in the long and grueling battle to come. _

_Thank you._

A world of fire and smoke danced in Shinji's head, but it was a separate entity that seemed to bother him so much more, Doctor Akagi. Standing in front of the crucified Lilith with nothing but her unbuttoned white lab coat on, she gave him the hundred mile stare. It's a sight you may think wouldn't faze one who had seen so much worse in his time. It wasn't fear that gripped him, but rather this overwhelming sense of unease, as if something was amiss. An understatement to be sure, but he still couldn't shake the feeling, even after all the time he had spent in this brave new world. Upon waking he would dismiss it as some sort of attack of the nerves, an occurrence he was used to. It made a convenient scapegoat. Facing his ever increasing visions and nightmares was not something he had the time or inclination to do, as you can see old habits die hard.

Two weeks had passed from the attack of Sachiel and today was his first day of school. He had spent nearly every waking moment he wasn't in training, PT, or at home, with Rei. Spare time was at a premium and he would have liked to have spent more time with Misato, but she was far busier this time than she had been, outside of the end in her previous life.

Their relationship was still friendly and he could tell she was making an honest attempt to connect with him, but he still knew that she was watching him like a hawk, always analyzing. It hurt his heart to see the other side of her, but if you truly love someone you have to take them for who they are, good and bad. Their relationship was different aside from her new peculiarities, he was a new model of Shinji. The new give and take of their verbal sparring was always something he looked back upon as he grew older in his past life and wished he had the balls and wit to take part in it at the time. Now he was at the top of his game and this seemed to elate Misato. In the entirety of the time they would spend together she was always happiest during these sessions. Their life together wasn't perfect but it was what they had, and Shinji made damn sure what while it lasted he would live it up. It's too bad that nothing lasts forever.

"So, how's he adjusting? Notice any further deviations from the initial evaluation?"

"I have to be honest, Rits, but I'm really glad that evaluator was a moron. His frame of mind and maturity are far more conducive to what you would need from a soldier. It's not perfect of course, as you can see if you actually read my reports and not just ask questions all the time."

At that Ritsuko rolled her eyes and reached over into the drawer under her keyboard and pulled fourth a pack of generic cigarettes. Lighting up her eighth for the day, she took a long drag and sat waiting for Misato to continue on with her report. When nothing came she spared Misato a glance, pulling herself away from pretending to read the report on the clipboard that sat in her lap.

Feigning surprise Misato quipped, "I'm sorry, I thought I should give your highness some time to digest all the big words I threw at you and wait for an official letter of recognition before I finished up." As Dr. Akagi started the wind up for an angry tirade, Misato cut her off with a sly smirk and talked through her until she got the idea and shut her trap.

"He has a bad habit of thinking he knows better than I do in our simulations. The thing is that usually his ideas work, so it just further reinforces his inflated ego. That and he seems to be getting more and more aggressive as the sims go on. I keep telling him that in the sims there are no repercussions for a bad idea or a missed shot but the real fights wont be nearly as lenient. He listens in the end, but I have to stay on him all the time. I think the simulations may actually be bad for him, its making him far too reliant on his inherent skill and not on any kind of real strategy."

Misato ran her hands through her raven locks and gave an exasperated sigh. She leaned back in her chair hard and began to slowly rock back and forth.

"I'm going to lobby the commander to either let me cancel his training sessions or set up some sort of reduced feedback in the test plug so that he feels the hits he takes, just at a reduced level. He needs to understand the reality of his situation, making it like a videogame disassociates him too much."

Ritsuko usually ignored Misato's reports; they were merely a formality that Gendo made her go through. Her room was bugged so he secretly listened to their talk and that's how he digested her intel. It was faster for him that way, as with Ritsuko he was far too busy to actually read anything that was ever written to him that didn't deal with the dummy plugs or the project. Misato had no inkling of how truly unimportant she was.

"And she starts to rip them apart and eat them. She has the weirdest eyes Shinji, I've never seen anything like it. But she's going at it with gusto, and the thing is that's she the same size they are. Not in an Eva, just huge, like some sort of Zentradi. She's covered from head to toe in their blood and guts, it was scarier than any of your...episodes."

"Well damn, Rei, I was sort of hoping that I was the only one," Shinji said solemnly as they slowly made their way down the winding walkways that laced through the Geofront.

"You mean you've been having that dream as well?" Rei exclaimed, confused. She picked up her pace and now walked backwards in front of Shinji so she could face him.

"Not about Asuka eating people no, but I have been having really perplexing daydreams and nightmares ever since we got here. As time passes they seem to be getting more frequent, obscure and obscene at the same time." He had been staring at his feet since this conversation started; he found that the bland grayness allowed him to process things better.

"Well my expert opinion is that this is just our heads trying to wrap themselves around the completely unexplainable thing that happened to us. They seem to be failing spectacularly, but can you really blame them? This is the first time this has happened in human history as far as we know." Rei reached out and took Shinji's hand, giving it a bit of a tug. Drawing his attention off of his loafers for once she smiled at him and spoke.

"Look, at this point, and most likely from now on, we're going to have to deal with some odd quirks here and there. Thinking about them won't change them any, so I say our efforts are best spent on the palpable things we can deal with here and now. Let the chips fall where they may Shinji, but remember we know the dealer's hand. Now brighten up, we're about to see Touji again."

At this point she took up her old position at Shinji's side and the trek continued.

Rei had healed up fast and far better than Shinji could have hoped. Her thought was that it had to do with her other genetic donor. She could focus on her injuries and actually feel them warm, we're not talking Wolverine here, but to her at least it was some sort of positive influence. She still had a sling on her left arm and her right eye was bandaged, but the rest of the injuries, with a good enough dose of super happy fun time pills, were shrugged off easily enough.

As they passed through the front gate and waved their access cards at the heavily armed guards, Shinji took his first step onto the NERV Academy for Pilot Candidacy. The thing that struck him most as they had neared the school was that it was an exact copy of the old grounds he remembered from his long past childhood. Rei had rejoiced in this, noting that it at the very least kept them from getting lost or any such nonsense. Shinji was continuously surprised and pleased with how fast and eagerly Rei's disposition had pulled a 180 here. Even on her best days Rei was always subdued, but with the extreme change in scenery she had suddenly blossomed right before Shinji's eyes.

Her unabashed enthusiasm for the new possibilities that lay before them and chances to correct past transgressions was contagious. Seeing her so full of life did much to lift his spirits as well. He had a sneaking suspicion that it was the exact reason that she was acting this way, but in this case he was ok with being led around by the nose. A little levity was good for him; in a way, it was giving her the childhood that his father had stolen from her. Indulging her was going to be a full time job, of that he was sure, but when the shit inevitably hit the fan later on, he knew the time put in now would pay back in spades.

It was now the moment of truth. Pushing aside the sliding door to their home room the site that awaited them was defiantly new. It was tiered level design, as one would see in the auditorium seating of a large college classroom or stadium. The room only had twenty some odd students but looked able to fit in almost three times that many. As expected, when they entered the room everyone's head snapped around like a swivel. They recognized Rei of course but she was accompanied by a new face; after the attack they had been told to expect him by their professor

"So you're him, huh? The commander's son, Shinji, right?" A well-known brunette bound down the steps that bisected the rooms seating. "My name is Hikari Horaki," she said as cheerfully as Rei thought humanly possible and extended her hand to Shinji.

Shinji and Rei had mentally prepared themselves for seeing their old friends again, to prevent nostalgia and memories from getting the better of them. For once some of their work paid off and he didn't miss a beat.

"Shinji Ikari."

The handshake over and formalities out of the way, it was time to breach actual conversation. "This place looks a lot nicer than I expected." Taking a good look around the room for the first time it was far nicer indeed. Each student's station had a split ergonomic keyboard built into the counter and a monitor that would pop out in front of them with the push of a button. Their chairs were plush by any kind of academic standards and the amenities just piled up from there like the mad dreams of a technophile.

"Ayanami, you didn't tell him about the facilities?" Hikari asked. "Well you see, Ikari—" She was cut off by a voice at the back of the room.

As he came down the steps towards the small group, he caught bits and pieces of five different conversations. These kids weren't stupid. They knew exactly who Shinji was. The Evangelion goes into battle for the first time and then a new guy shows up? Some had suspected it had been Ayanami who had piloted Unit 01. But with her horrendous injuries after the failed startup of Unit 00, rumors had started to go around of a new pilot having been brought in, perhaps from America or China?

He heard words of happiness from the first mixed group, glad that one of their own got to be the first in battle, the new kid was obviously Japanese. Then a small group of girls seemed almost irate, that they had been passed over for someone who had none of the training that they did. As he was halfway down the steps, two guys were making fun of how bad his speech had been, it was obviously written for him and his executions lacked any sense of strength. The last two groups were on opposite sides of the front row and he caught part of one of the groups talking about how quick and violent it had been, apparently they had expected some sort of multi-episode anime fight where they trade days of growling as they powered up. The hushed whispers of the two girls to his right he missed but a quick glace made the topic clear. The way they eyed the new arrival was none too subtle, too bad really he mused, Kirishima and Yamagishi were some of the most attractive girls in class.

"You ok, Hikari? You're just kind of standing there catching flies in your mouth," quipped Kensuke Aida as he finally stopped on her right side. He was far prouder of himself for his joke than he should have been but eh, take the small victories where you can.

"You don't understand, Kensuke. It was Rei. She smiled." Hikari's bewilderment was apparent, so much so that she turned from the new pair and became engrossed in conversation with Ken.

"You sure the light didn't get in your eye and you imagined it?" Kensuke's rebuke made no sense but to either of them, neither did Rei smiling.

"You know I can hear you right? I'm standing four feet away from you." Rei replied, no exasperation present in her voice.

"I'm so sorry, Ayanami," Hikari replied quickly, the rosiness in her cheeks belying her embarrassment. "It's just that you've never really been, ya know, all that emotive."

"Well, recently I've had a lot of things to be happy about," she said, sparing Shinji a sideways glance. Yet again Ken surprisingly picked up on it; he may be a dork, but he's not stupid. But before he could get the words out of his mouth, Shinji beat him to the punch.

"It's not what you think Ken, so stop right there." Shinji held his hand up to further reinforce his comment.

"See, I told you it was an obvious nickname, he's known you for 30 seconds and he already guessed it." Hikari's tone was now smug. Rei quickly picked that this was some long-running argument they have been going through. On the other hand, Shinji was thrown off by the complete tangent they just took off on.

'Sometimes it's easy to forget that they've known each other since childhood.' Rei thought to herself as she smiled at their childish bickering. As they continued to gab she quickly became lost in her own thoughts. Their conversation was so easy, so natural. It's like they just picked up where their last one had left off, over 2 weeks or 40 years ago, depending on who you ask. Shinji gave Rei a small nudge and knowing look, to which she responded with a small nod. He pushed forward with their plan.

"…ya see, it's like Ken from Str…"

"From Street Fighter, yes I know." Hikari sighed deeply as she started to massage her temples. "We've had this exact conversation how many times, Aida? thirteen, fourteen?"

Shinji faked a half decent laugh and interrupted their little spat. "You two sound like an old married couple." He kept a big smile on his face just in case he had to pull back from a negative response.

"Eh?' Hikari's response came coupled with a confused stare and a slight tilting of her head to the left.

Simultaneously, Ken had to stifle a laugh at the absurdity of the statement. He was about to recant the claim when he was beat to the punch.

"It's awfully impetuous of you to make that sort of statement when you've only known me for less than a minute, don't you think?" The harshness of Hikari's response stunned both Rei and Shinji, the latter visibly.

Placing a calming hand on Hikari's left shoulder, Ken stepped forward as he spoke up for her. "What I think she was trying to say is that she's saving herself for Touji." Ken wasn't stupid by any stretch of the imagination and thus he quickly took a big step back to avoid the blind backhand that Hikari sent his way. He was all smiles, devious ones at that. It seems that his altered setting had molded Kensuke from a military otaku and a nerd to that snarky geek everyone knew back in high school. Quiet and reserved around people he didn't know but liked to cut loose and be himself around his small group of friends He was still a total dork though.

At this point they devolved back into squabbling amongst themselves, but instead of feeling completely ignored Shinji did see it from their point of view. They don't know him, these aren't his old friends. And when one your friends disses you like Ken just had it's easy to get pulled away, revenge must be had. Shinji felt a small squeeze on his hand and had his attention pulled away. Rei gave him a small, sad smile and then let him go; she knew as well.

But now wasn't the time to feel down, they were there and that was better than nothing, right? And besides, Touji should be showing up soon and that would make it all worth it. It's said that sometimes when you speak of the devil, he appears.

As the door slid back revealing Touji, Kensuke's face lit up and he walked past a still ranting Hikari to his best friend's hand and gave him the classic man hug. Hikari, upon turning around and catching sight of him, put a Christmas tree to shame, she was nearly glowing. Were fourteen-year-olds really this transparent? Answer, yes.

"Suzuhara!" Hikari yelled as she ran over to him, the fact that she was fighting the urge to hug him all too apparent to the older residents of the room. "Where have you been these last few weeks?"

Touji stood there playing 20 questions with them for a while as Shinji just stared on blankly. The man was right before him but he still could not get it to compute, it had been so long.

"Shinji, why are you standing there? Shouldn't you go and say something?" Rei whispered quietly to Shinji as he stood like a pillar of salt. "Isn't this what you have been waiting for the last 40 years?"

"I'm not even sure what to say or do; I'm looking at a dead man Rei. He's talking and breathing but he's dead."

"Yeah, so were Akagi and Misato but you didn't freak out like this with them, what's wrong?" Rei's voice was concerned but also a bit annoyed, it was classic Shinji to see the finish line and still not able to act. She didn't have much room to talk, though.

"Yeah, but I didn't kill them with my own bare hands, now did I?" Shinji's pained voice was barely above a whisper now, his gaze never breaking away from Touji. The entire room had mobbed Touji as soon as they caught sight of their errant classmate. To avoid them hearing his and Rei's delicate conversation they had to keep it down.

"You start on that and I swear I will beat you severely next time we are in training." Exasperated at how quickly he folded, Rei took her leave of Shinji and walked over to Touji to give her best regards. The rest of the class parted for her like the Red Sea, you would have thought she had eight arms or something. Watching the sight before him play out, Touji was just as confused as the rest of the room when she stopped in front of him and seemed…human.

"Uh, hey Ayanami. What's up?" Touji's eyes jumped from face to face in the crowd looking for some sort of information or at least a way out of this exceedingly awkward situation. He was starting to break out in a cold sweat and his color began to drain out of him as he fidgeted. His reaction irked Rei more than she would have liked to admit but really they knew only the old Rei. It was a hard concept for her to keep at the front of her mind as that had literally been a whole different life ago. But she soldiered on, continuing her plan to eradicate her old image as fast as possible so that people would treat her like a human being and not some kind of caricature or doll. God, she hated that word.

"I am truly glad that you are back Suzuhara, though I am saddened by your loss. I can't understand your feelings and so I won't pretend that I do, as it would be insulting. But I want you to know that as a fellow classmate and pilot I wish you the best of luck in this difficult time." Her little speech was something she had pieced together over the past few days; it was the beginning of what she had self-titled her 'Transition Phase.' They expected her to be robotic and stiff, and an abrupt change would be far too traumatic for them. So this sort of middle ground would have to do for a while until they became use to it. From there she could slowly work her way towards her normal staccato and, hopefully, acceptance.

There was a glaring problem with her speech that she realized as soon as the words left her mouth;: she would later beat herself up for the grave oversight. She had called him a pilot, but his admission would not come for quite some time. It had not been part of her planned speech, it had just slipped out as she spoke. That and she had given away the news in front of the entire class. He may not have wanted anyone to know, or perhaps only his close friends, something she could not claim to be at this moment. Hell, he could have wanted to showboat it to everyone in some grand affair, she had to admit to knowing Touji only through Shinji's stories of him.

A chorus of huh's and what's echoed through the room as Rei finished her spiel. The two closest to Touji turned to him first and asked the question on everyone's lips: "What is she talking about?"

"How did you even know about her?" His voice was harsh and demanding without being loud, his gaze so intense that Rei actually turned her face away and began to stare at the ground as if ashamed.

"I heard it from Commander Ikari," she lied, something she never did. But instead of being let down by the involuntary action, she was shocked that Touji would have kept something as important as his sister's death from his friends. At the very least she figured that Hikari and Kensuke would have already known. What a grand failure.

"Ah, so the pilot is his son huh?" Touji asked with a single understanding laugh. "Yeah that makes a lot of sense seeing as how the fight went down." Touji gently pushed his friend out of the way and closed that last bit of distance between him and Rei. He was taller than Rei by a few inches, but as he stood before her she swore he was towering over her. She was old enough to be his grandmother and yet he somehow intimidated her, something that left her perplexed.

"Yeah, she was killed when the second N2 went off, vaporized. My dad had sent her out to get groceries for dinner, if I had been with her like I wanted to, I would be dead right now as well. Lucky me, eh?" He was condescending in posture, action and word. She was being talked down to, suffering the brunt of his understandable pain.

Rei wondered how he knew about Shinji and his father, the best she could figure at the moment was that someone told him about Shinji while he was being mobbed. Speaking of Shinji, he had yet to interject himself into the conversation, or at this point to come to her rescue.

After staring down the now timid hybrid for a few seconds more, Touji broke the silence that had settled over the room. Staring over her shoulder he spotted just who he was looking for. "Hey, you're Ikari right? Unit 01's pilot?" He roughly pushed the albino out of his way so abruptly that she almost lost her balance. "I'm talking to you Mr. Big-shot, you too good to look me in the eye?" he spat with venom as he stopped with his chest nearly touching Shinji, trying to intimidate him like he had Rei. But his meek opponent merely stared at the ground in a mix of shame and fear.

A tense pause dragged on for nearly a minute until Shinji finally gathered the nerve to speak. "Yeah Touji. I'm Ikari." He found it so hard to speak for a myriad of reasons, the first and foremost being that the school day was a total loss. Not even Touji remembered him. The only person left was Asuka, and it would be weeks until he got to see her again. Rei had told him to be aware of the fact that this was a possible outcome. But her endless high spirits and enthusiasm had built him up far too much: the higher he was, the longer and harder the fall. He really should have expected this; it seemed to be his lot in life, both of them.

Old habits die hardest of all and when he and Rei sat down later that night to talk about the day, he was really ashamed of himself. It seemed that he and his companion, when push came to shove, still fell to their old demons. Redoubled effort was to come in the near future. If they were going to make a real difference they had to rise above themselves and the world around them. Success would come, but not on this day.

Touji made a move to grab Shinji's face and force him to look him in the eyes, like a man. But the door opened again and their professor came into the room. "You cadets have 5 seconds to be in you seats or your ass is grass and I'm a lawnmower, capiche!"

The speed displayed by the collective was astounding. Perhaps they knew that the woman wasn't kidding around. Rei grabbed a hold of Shinji's arm and had to damn near drag him to their seats in the front row. Hikari could be heard running through the standard routine of greeting the professor, but to Shinji it all seemed a blur of activity. The only thing he had really noticed by this point was that their teacher was different, not that he really should have been surprised seeing as how things were turning out.

Rei, being shaken up but in far better condition than Shinji currently, had noticed right off the bat a myriad of differences in the way things were going on. The 'professor' was Captain Liu Sung Wa, straight from NERV's Beijing branch. While she was incredibly attractive, easily on par with Misato, she was a total hard ass in class. Talking to the other students at a later date would bring to light that it was all a show she put on at the academy to teach discipline and all those good things that go along with military service. She was actually a normal 28-year-old woman. Rumor even had it that she was seeing someone on the secondary NERV bridge crew. But I'd pity the fool who treated her like anything other than their CO while they were on duty.

Class was nothing like a normal day in what was their last year of junior high. Thankfully they had known what was coming due to Shinji's introductory crash course, given by Major Katsuragi. He had to teach Rei on their own time, a difficult thing to hide in plain sight, even harder to have to explain had they been caught. She had been in those classes for years by all accounts of course. But for all her shortcomings her lessons had been taken to heart and, thanks to Misato's help, they were only moderately lost in most of their subjects.

The thing that shocked the blue-haired beauty most, and eventually snapped Shinji out of his reverie, was the content of the day's lessons. In a manner that could only be called off-handed, Cpt. Wa talked about second impact, and not the version that had been force fed to the students their first time around but the real story. And it turned no heads; these students knew already, such an important and well-guarded secret just open to mere cadets. It nearly floored Rei and Shinji's shock was so visible that Cpt. Wa stopped class for a moment to address him. He covered for himself well enough but his amazement stuck with him all through the day. As he went through the motions of the day's lessons, Rei could tell that he was deep in thought, contemplating who-knows-what.

Military strategy and theory, advanced mathematics, history, PT, then lunch. After that, the class broke up into several groups that went their own way. A choice of several different scientific fields or language classes was given. Depending on where that student wished to be reassigned upon completion of their training English, German, and Mandarin/Cantonese were offered, one for each of the different NERV bases. For the most advanced students, a few hours were spent in simulators, Rei and Shinji were taken here along with Touji, Hikari, Kensuke, Mana Kirishima, and Mayumi Yamagishi. This was luckily not a surprise to our protagonists as they had been alerted to the addition of several of their classmates by their CO ahead of time. They didn't even know some of them, but getting hung up on that was not an option, so it was all taken in stride.

The day ended up back in their homeroom with officer training and a breakdown of Shinji's first battle for practice. It was surreal to hear people like Hikari dissecting his actions and those of Misato, but in the end the consensus was that he was a horrible soldier and a poor tactician, but his raw skill was undeniable. He had far to go in the eyes of his peers, a fact that sat very poorly with most of them, as was evident in their derisive remarks and the looks on their faces. It screamed so loudly, why him and not me, it made Shinji both mad at them and pity them at the same time. They really had no idea how different the simulations were from actual battle. He had been asked to speak about his fight and it had been a train wreck as you could imagine. Not due to him clamming up but rather how he described the fighting and his opinions of war and NERV itself.

They were all so willing to throw themselves into the maelstrom, to defend their country and the human race. A noble concept and sentiment, but so far from reality that it made him want to scream at them. Cpt. Wa, on the other hand, commended him for his very mature and discerning view on several key factors, mainly the emotional and mental toll that war can take on a person. Shinji surmised that she had seen actual man-to-man combat in the past, she had the look in her eye. This pleased him, but did little to alleviate his worries about what his classmates would think about him and act towards him. It would be an annoyance to his and Rei's plans if they were antagonistic towards him.

The day ended as all school days eventually do and as they were release, the first person out of his chair was Touji Suzuhara. Making a beeline over to Shinji's seat, he made his intention clear, he wanted Shinji to meet him in the sparring room annex, ASAP. Shinji knew that it was coming; same thing happened last time, of all the things that needed to stay consistent.

He internally debated whether or not to fight back this time; no one would be there according to Touji. He forbade Rei's presence and even dismissed Kensuke, telling him to keep Hikari busy while he took care of business.

Shinji was punctual due to the fact that he really didn't want Touji to have to track him down and then have to deal with that. Rather than fight against someone who at one point in his life had been his best friend, he tried to talk his way out of it. That went about as well as you think it might have. An elbow to the side of his head sent him sprawling and then it was a flurry of activity. The men who kept tabs on the young Ikari debated whether or not to break it up but due to a consensus of loathing for his father, sat back with a smug sense of satisfaction and watched the beat down.

With Touji's years of military training in hand to hand combat and Shinji's unwillingness to hit him, it was less of a fight and more like watching Royce Gracie beat up on a retarded monkey. It lasted just over a minute before Rei finally steped in and calmly use a small pinch of the nerves to bring Touji to his knees and end the charade. To his credit, Touji quickly regained his footing and spoke clearly.

"I was wondering when you would step in, you or Hikari." His gaze no longer held its earlier malice; by no means calm, it had at least abated somewhat. His voice on the other hand had gone from wrathful to emotionally null, a truly creepy effect if viewed from the outside.

"Hikari and Kensuke are out in the hall waiting for you," Rei said, her tone quiet and almost defeated as she tried to help the battered Shinji to his feet, which was a feat with only one good arm. "You didn't have to do this; he wished you no ill, you know."

"Yeah, I know. I also know it wasn't even his fault they dropped the second N2. That was a command decision. But he was here and this was convenient. If it helps any, I feel a bit better now." Feeling began to slowly slip back into his voice, but the words were harsh.

"I believe it would not, if he were even conscious right now." Rei had given up on getting Shinji to stand as he was unresponsive, so she sat there holding him up in a sitting position. Turning her eyes back up to Touji she saw him stare at Shinji, paying her no mind. "I would not advise striking him again; I believe the agents watching him would be forced to react. You would not find that pleasant." Speaking of the agents, they had a call coming their way if she had her way. A word would be needed with the Commander, that much she knew.

"You're still hurt from your accident, so let me take care of it." He said taking Shinji out of her hands and slinging him over his shoulder like a sack of grain. As he made his way out of the room, Shinji's busted nose, lips, and forehead dripped a steady trail of blood down the back of Touji's uniform. He paid it no mind and a small caravan formed after him as he made his way to the infirmary. Arriving there, he laid what was left of Shinji on the bed nearest the door and motioned for the nurse. His work seemingly done, he turned and left sparing Rei a passing glance. Hikari would stay with Shinji out of a sense of duty as Kensuke explained the days happening to the nurse. Rei unfortunately had other things that suddenly needed to be taken care of.

No one ever questioned how the agent's black van had flipped through the air twice and skidded for over a block from a stand still. What kind of an answer was there?

As night settled and the academy closed, Shinji was forced to leave along with Rei. Ken and Hikari had stayed a moderate amount of time longer than they would have had to due to social obligations, a good sign for their future friendship. But as they made their way back to their housing unit, few words were spoken.

Standing outside of Rei's residence, a far cry from her 'original' quarters, the place was nice as far as dormitory style rooms could be. At the very least it was right next to HQ and she had no neighbors, her floor being for pilots and Shinji currently taking up residence with Misato in the officer's 'barracks'. In reality it was the ground floor of her complex, which housed all of the necessary staff of NERV. A separate set of accommodations existed for the cadets of her class and their families, but it was on the far western side of the Geofront.

Taking the icepack off his face Shinji spoke through a slew of bandages and bruises, looking far worse off than Rei currently did. His voice was slurred and measured but the emotion below it held its true meaning. "I don't think today could have gone any fucking worse Rei, short of us getting hit by a train or a bolt of lightning." His demeanor might as well have been a black cloud hanging over him.

"Although it didn't go as we had hoped Shinji, at least we know now, right? We have to move forward from this point with new plans, that's all." Rei moved away from Shinji to unlock her door and motioned for him to enter, but he waved her off.

"I know you're right and I know we discussed this being a possibility, but it still hurts, ya know?" Shinji fought the urge the throw the icepack away in frustration, but decided against it for the measure of relief it brought. "It's just..." He paused for a moment. "I don't know Rei. I'm not as psyched about all of this as I was this morning, which is stupid of me, I know that. But I can't help the way I feel..." At this point Shinji trailed off leaving his words hanging in the air.

After a few moments Shinji began to turn away and take his leave of Rei when his phone rang. His phone shouldn't be ringing, Rei had called Misato and notified her of what had happened and after her diatribe told her that he would be home late. When Misato asked about their escort, Rei reported to her about their accident, Misato laughed and swore that they deserved it. Rei's agreement had caught Misato off guard, but earned her 'brownie points' as she had called them. As she was too busy to come and get them she had given instruction for Rei to apologize for her absence and 'take care of her little brother.' Rei found herself at odds with the Misato she knew from Shinji's reports on her and the woman he heard on the phone. Far more reminiscent of the old Misato Shinji had idolized for so long. Yet another thing for her to keep an eye on.

As Shinji fumbled his phone out of his pant pocket and answered, "Hello?"

"Hello pilot Ikari, I saw a video of your performance. Messy, but I'll give you points for the brutality of it all." The familiar voice from the other end of the line hit him like a freight train.

'Asuka!' Shinji's mind literally exploded inside of his cranium. The look on his face worried Rei and as she mouthed 'What?' to him, she was not ready for his response any more than he had been.

"Who is this?" He replied, knowing that he was now walking through a mine field. The phones were bugged and he didn't want to risk giving himself away.

There was a break in the conversation so long you could have played a game of Risk in it, but even through the phone and all the way from Germany he could feel the emotion.

Letdown.

"Name's Asuka Langley Soryu, level one pilot just like yourself and pilot Ayanami. I'm from the third branch in Germany, it's my understanding that pretty soon I'll be transferred to Tokyo-3 with you guys. With the angels showing up now they need every pilot with an Eva there to face the threat." Her voice was still full of pride and gusto, but Shinji knew Asuka better than that, he knew it was all fake. But this was great in actuality. If his response bothered her this much, then it may mean she may have realized the delicate situation they were in.

"I was told that there a lot of other pilot candidates at each of the branches but I didn't know they would be sending us some backup. It's good to know we have allies out there." Shinji was fighting to keep his voice sounding as normal as possible, but it was proving nearly impossible. Besides his injuries his heart was beating a million times a minute, not only due to nervousness but also excitement. He had missed Asuka, if there was anyone he needed by his side during times like these it was her.

"HA!" Asuka heartily exclaimed, "Me back you up, from what I heard you're a newbie. I've been doing this for years. If anything you are going to be my rear guard, cleaning up the mess I leave behind. I mean it's been two weeks and you still sound like your drugged out of your mind."

"Ya, I had a little encounter at the academy today with this Suzuhara guy. He doesn't seem to like me much." Shinji was now smiling as much as his swollen face would let him, but internally he was struggling to keep his composure. He had to hand it to Asuka, though. She had been handling the conversation far better than he could have ever planned. With her brash and aggressive nature, he was sure she would give the game up damn near right off the bat, that was if she had any memory of the past.

"I bet that drove Hikari crazy!" Asuka said as she tried to stifle a laugh.

Her statement made Shinji want to bash himself in the head with a claw hammer. He just had to think about it didn't he?

"Hey, ya still there, Shinji?" Asuka asked worriedly over the line.

As Rei watched the conversation with rapt attention all of a sudden Shinji's eyes began to fly all over the place, something had gone wrong. Asking the question on her mind she was met with an open hand, motioning her to wait.

"Um…pilot Soryu. I got to admit I'm kind of surprised that you called this early, ya know, with the time difference and all." How do you get a point across without actually talking about it? Yet another situation he was not prepared for, never had it occurred to him that Asuka would be so impatient that she would call him before her expected arrival. It really should have, he knew her and how impulsive she could be. Relying on her formidable intellect had proved folly, another to add to his tally.

"What are you talking about?" Asuka was really starting to lose her cool now. She had expected Shinji to welcome her call with open and loving arms, and yet here she was, faced with an evasive and cowardly response to her every comment. It was not the Shinji she knew and loved, it was far more akin to his earlier persona. But how could that be? She had quickly picked up on his not so subtle jabs, the old 14-year-old Shinji would have never done that. She knew it was her new and improved version.

Realization can be a bitch and Asuka knew bitches better than anyone. As she trailed off, the stupidity of her actions crushed her like she was a sumo groupie. For some reason he was trying to keep their situation a secret. She had nearly given it all away, at the very least now people might start to get suspicious; it was why he hadn't contacted her yet. It wasn't that he didn't want to but that he couldn't. Asuka face palmed herself and then ran the hand through her fiery red tresses. OK, it was a game they had to play, she could do this, she was still a Soryu.

"Yeah, sorry about that, next time I'll try to wait until later at night so you'll have free time. It must have slipped my mind somehow. So, um..." Damn it now what could they actually talk about? She had just wanted to talk to her lover, to see if he was OK, to check in and discuss their predicament. But with this new pretense that she had to keep up, nothing could be done in the open. Well at the very least she could make sure of a few things.

"Hey, in your training have they gotten to teach you the Hikaru maneuver yet?" Her voice seemed to have a tinge of trepidation in it; she was fishing for a certain answer.

But her question hit home a lot harder than she had intended. Shinji's demeanor once again shifted, his shoulders slumped, a slight frown forming on his lips, and his eyes grew red and watery. "No we haven't, but it sounds really great. When you get here we'll have to work on it." His voice wavered on the verge of tears, confusing Rei greatly. But it was the answer that Asuka had been looking for. Shinji could feel her radiating unbridled joy, without saying a single word. His overly emotional response would again raise flags, but nothing incriminating towards the real situation.

"I'm glad we got to talk Shinji." Asuka spoke quietly as she fought to keep herself from ending up like Shinji.

"I am too Asuka, I am too. I wish we could talk longer but I have stuff I need to get done tonight, ya know, school and all that. We'll have to talk again soon, maybe the three of us can all talk. Ayanami is here with me right now, I'm sure she would like to get to know you too, since we're going to be allies and all."

"Yeah, I would like that. Again I'm sorry for calling you so early, won't happen again. You take care of yourself third child."

"You too Soryu, you too."

Click.

"It's her, Rei. It's our Asuka, she knew the name of one of our sons...she's the real deal." At this point Shinji dropped his phone to the cold concrete walkway and began to quietly weep. Rei hadn't seen him this happy since they had arrived, she did the only thing she could and gave him the hug she thought he needed. He nearly squeezed the life out of her.

Neither of them noticed that the 4th Angel had yet to show up.

AN: This chapter's song belongs to the best band in the world, Tool. This song, its lyrics and all parts related to it belong to Tool, Maynard James Keenan, and their label. Its choice was more story centric than chapter centric.

As usual the link on my main author page will take you to a thread with pics of some of the images from this chapter. Hope you enjoy.

'BLAH' Indicates thought, it's a pretty standard concept people.


	6. Getting Grown

**Getting Grown**

Hey little boy you got a lot of stay

You have to fall inevitably

And I've sure come a long way

The road up ahead is so unclear

Back slidin down the bottom of beer

Nobody knew if I would make it here

Sweet music set me free

From the statistic that I started to be

I wish my mama was alive to see

The memories of pain have scarred

And when I fall it's usually hard

But I get up and keep followin' God

Hey, I'm Gettin' grown

I'm Gettin grown

I'm gettin grown, hey

I never won't be perfect I know,

But workin on it is worse than I know,

Life is just learning as you go

Been selfish once or twice

I had to how learn to sacrifice

So here's to my late nighters be nice

Every day that goes by I find

It either hits me or robs you blind

Gotta owe ya this life of mine

I'm gettin grown

Oooo, time changed but it feels the same,

There's no tellin what tommorow will bring,

Even if I could I wouldn't change a thang

Hey, Lord I know I'm not here to stay

But thanks for wakin' me up today

Prepare me for what may come my way

Say, young man, there's no need to cry

Because I know you will get by

Look your destiny in the eye

Everyday my heart burns to try

You got to walk before you learn to fly

And we all got to earn to die

I'm gettin' grown

Four days passed and the 4th never came as Shinji and Rei anxiously awaited its arrival. Every day was spent hovering around the Geofront and making excuses as to why they weren't going home. Rei had yet to pass her reactivation test but what else did she have to do other than visit with Shinji and keep him company? After four days of this and countless conversations as to the whereabouts of Shamshel, they finally decided to let their guard down. This was mostly due to the fact that their actions were starting to raise suspicion. They couldn't just say what they were doing and you can only lie for so long and make it believable. In fact people were already spreading rumors about all the time they were spending together.

Endlessly frustrating as it was to hear silly little comments about first love and the like when you're fourteen, try it when you're 54. They decided right off the bat that fighting it was pointless because denying it would just make it seem all the more likely to them, so they simply ignored it. To her credit Misato never brought it up; when Shinji asked why, she merely said that if he ever wanted to talk to her about it he would bring it up. He wanted to praise her for actually acting like an adult but simply thanked her and nothing more was ever said about it. The next day, though, when he got back home there was a box of condoms on his bed and he could hear Misato laughing from across the house.

Joke was on her, though, he kept them for when Asuka would eventually show up.

Three days later, the last of Rei's bandages came off and she was given a clear bill of health. To celebrate freedom from daily checkups at that hell hole of a hospital, Rei wanted to take a trip above, the first since their arrival. The request had to be signed by the commander and he hesitated at first, seeing no reason for them to leave the base. It took Misato speaking on their behalf before he begrudgingly accepted the request; Gendo really was the king of bastards. They, of course, would have their usual barely-hidden escort, but it was doubled for this particular topside journey. Shinji mused that with it doubled now they would only be half useless.

When discussing their trip and its destinations Shinji had a definite idea brewing. But all he told Rei was to bring cash and make sure she had plenty of spare time. The following Saturday, which was two days after her release, Shinji showed up at her door with a large duffel bag and a big smile. It was too bad the rest of him wasn't as pleasant to look at.

He was wearing an orange polo with light orange shorts. He looked decidedly goofy, but had never cared for "modern fashion", or seemingly, matching either. After Rei was done injuring his pride by laughing at his ridiculous "outfit" he complimented her getup, a pleated blue green skirt and a sleeveless shirt with blue and white horizontal stripes. They both knew that would make her feel bad about poking fun at him, so she apologized through her stifled laughter, and set out.

He refused to answer where they were going or why he needed that large a bag until they had finally arrived at their first stop, an art supply store. Rei had narrowed down their destination during the trip to only a few places, not many things made Shinji as happy as he appeared.

Shinji only had three real loves in his life other than his kids, and those were art, music and cooking. Seeing as how he had made Misato pick up actual cooking utensils, spices and food not long after he moved in, it had seemed unlikely that he was going up for them. That only left art and music. He had mentioned how annoying it would be having to rebuild his massive music collection, but since he really didn't have anything to spend his money on, it seemed he had decided on a useful outlet. Shinji was currently collecting a Lieutenant's salary, as was Rei, since NERV had claimed them to be such. To keep the UN off their back, some money had to go somewhere. What else was a 14-year-old going to spend 40K-plus on? Answer for one S. Ikari would be art supplies and tons of CD's.

As they walked around the store talking about various subjects, they purposefully neglected any topics about work. They mused about Asuka's call and how good it had been for Shinji to talk to her. She had apparently called Shinji again on Thursday while Rei was getting her checkup. She had told him that she had been questioned how she had gotten his number, why she called him and why she had even known of his existence. In all his years of knowing Asuka he could accuse her of a lot of things but never of a lack of wit. The way she told her story without telling it marveled Shinji, especially after her faux pas in their first conversation. He could really tell she had meticulously planned out what she had wanted to say, he had to admit that he was proud of her for that.

Her flirting had all the grace of a heard of elephants, yet again another clever ruse. It's easy to explain long and frequent calls between a lonely young girl and the guy she had a blatant crush on. Asuka was a conniving little bitch in every move she made. As they talked, Rei had been honestly surprised as well at how quickly she had adapted to this new game they were playing. To her it seemed much more likely that Asuka would rather just assert her will over the situation rather than work with them.

As for the former emo kid, on his end of the deal no one had mentioned or even hinted at anything weird about their conversations. Either they suspected nothing or they were playing it cool, letting them hang themselves with evidence before his father or his lackeys made a move. Either way having semi-constant contact with Asuka had visibly calmed Shinji.

As the day's conversation shifted back to 'school' related issues, Shinji mused how in the time since his 'encounter' with Touji things had been a bit strained at school. But a few days ago, Touji approached Shinji before class started that day and asked him why he was avoiding him. The utterly perplexed look on his face only confused Touji more. Hikari spoke on his behalf, saying that since their fight was over that Touji assumed that things were OK between them now.

Ken interjected that Touji had even started to wonder if Shinji was holding it against him and plotting some sort of revenge. His words earned him a half-assed elbow to the chest from Suzuhara. Shinji computed this and to him it made little sense, but then again he had never again in his life had a friend like Touji. In reality his time with Touji had been short, only a few months. He put it down to some sort of hyper masculine personality, marveled at how simple it seemed to make things, and made a point of talking it over with Touji at his earliest convenience.

Since that odd little pow wow, things had picked up for Shinji. Kensuke was of course as easy to get along with as always, so that fell right in to place nicely. Hikari had been more difficult, Rei had said it was because to Hikari, Shinji had made a bad first impression. Shinji thought it had something to do with Touji. Rei won that argument, as could be expected. So although things were slow in some aspects, with Shinji having an entire lifetime of knowledge about Hikari and a much higher maturity level than Touji, things were quickly swinging back his way. As Shinji beamed about how quickly things were looking up for them, Rei flourished as well.

As she tried to get to some semblance of her preferred speech pattern back, she found a distinct schism between people in her class. There were those very happy to see that Rei seemed to finally open up and act more 'normal,' while, although a smaller group, some thought that her new bravado was a byproduct of the war starting and her position as a pilot. Something about trying to act like she was better than everyone now, utter rubbish is what it was. Oddly enough, Asuka's former best friend had been one of her biggest advocates and now tried to invite her into every social situation she was in.

It was something Rei had never witnessed, even in her old life. Her best guess was that at this point in time, and maybe in the old days, Hikari had been far more isolated than she let on. She had Ken, Touji, and later on Asuka, but really Shinji and Rei could never remember her visiting with any other people. True, it had been a very long time and the haze of decades past was thick, but they remember her as an incredibly outgoing person in college and after. Shinji remembered a mostly absent father and a younger sister she basically had to raise on her own. Her older sister was a typical teenager and spent as little time at home as possible and so between them they decided that perhaps her home life was dragging her down.

Rei was more than happy to take Asuka's place until she arrived.

As they neared the store of Shinji's preference, the only actual art supply store still operating in town, they noticed a large liquidation sign across the front of it.

"Oh this is great, it's my lucky day. I'll clean this place out for cheap," Shinji said hurriedly as he dug a densely folded list out of his pocket and began to read it out loud.

"Wait a second, how are we going to get a couple dozen canvases back to your place? I don't really think Section two will be thrilled about hauling your stuff home," Rei interjected into his merry rambling.

"Oh, I got that covered; Misato told me that I could have it shipped to this place that's basically our drop off point for mail. It's right next to one of the Geofront's entrances', and from there it will be delivered to Misato's. Should take a day to do all that but that's fine by me." His point made, he made his way into the store and his personality did a 180. He went from hyper and anxious to super picky and discerning. Rei hadn't been this bored in weeks. After the fourth time Shinji asked her what she thought about two colors she couldn't tell the difference between, she left his side and randomly wandered the store so that she wouldn't scream at him.

She had never seen him this anal about anything, she knew he was serious about his work, but damn, this was ridiculous. After he spent nearly four hours in the store he left with at least three metric tons of crap. Rei for her part was asleep outside on a bench and had been so for a while. As he gently nudged her awake she gaped, wide-eyed at the fullness of his bag.

"How are you going to carry that all the way back to the Geofront? I swear, Shinji, you really need to learn about moderation. Did you have to have all of that stuff right now? We could have made a second trip tomorrow." Rei got to her feet and stretched for a long time, yawning deeply when she was done

"This is nothing. Besides if I waited 'till tomorrow someone might have come and gotten all of the good stuff. Besides, we still have one more stop so I'll be lugging this around for a while. The sacrifices I have to make, I swear," he said, faking exasperation. It earned him a disbelieving shake of the head. Mission accomplished. Slinging the duffel over his shoulder as a soldier should, he began to walk deeper into what was now, after the N2 strikes, the new middle of town.

"Hey, I was wondering where you got that cute outfit," Shinji asked in passing as he shrugged his shoulder to get the bag back into place.

"Well, you know how we had been talking about Hikari and her home life?" Getting an affirmative nod from her companion she continued on. "Well, I asked her if she wanted to come with us, to spend some time above. After a few minutes when she got over the shock of me asking her to do anything, she unfortunately told me she couldn't come today, because of, you guessed it, family stuff."

"That poor girl," Shinji said with all the presence of an old man talking of perhaps his granddaughter.

"Well, she asked if I had anything nice to wear for our trip. Of course she was trying to refer to it as some sort of date. Rather than blow her off or get mad I realized that I didn't have anything but my uniforms. I'm not really sure how that had escaped me but I sure as hell needed to rectify that situation." She let her words hang as she studied Shinji and his bemused look. "Oh, what's so funny about that, mister?" a tinge of annoyance slipping though her words.

"Oh it's nothing Rei, you were saying?" he said pitifully trying to cover for himself.

"That won't work on me, Mr. Ikari, I've known you for too long to let that slip by me. Say what you were thinking," her intonation now one of humor at her putting him on the spot.

"Well, I was just going to say that you sounded just like Asuka when you were talking about your clothes. I don't know how many endless hours I had to spend sitting with her as she tried on every outfit in a store, just to end up buying nothing. I swear some of the times I threatened to kill myself if we didn't leave; never worked, though. That's all it was Rei, don't worry. Go on with your story." Shinji was now all smiles as he continued to trudge on towards the destination only he knew.

"Well, when I told her I didn't have anything she invited me over to her place to look at some things."

"Really?" Shinji gave away his honest confusion at that statement instantly.

"Oh, I was surprised too, but I think she was just so happy that someone invited her out to go do something that she went overboard. Well I went over to her place and picked this thing out. When I was leaving I asked her if she wanted it back tomorrow or Monday at school and she just told me to keep it. I couldn't believe it. So I promised her that next weekend the two of us would come up and go shopping and I would get her any one outfit she wanted. I swear Shinji, she lit up like a match. It was the oddest thing. I guess that this time she has it way worse than we imagined. I showed her a little bit of affection and she latched on to me like a lamprey." By this time they rounded their last corner to their final destination, CD World. It as well had a liquidation sign on it.

"Damn, everyone is making like rats on a sinking ship. I hope the two of you can even find a place to shop next weekend," Shinji said as he held the door open for Rei to enter. "But I'm glad for not only her, but for you. It will do you some good to have a female friend that you can do stuff with, cause I'm sorry Rei, I love you but I hate shopping." He earned a baleful glare.

"For clothes and stuff, what do you want from me?" he exclaimed as he held his hands in front of himself defensively, a smart move for any man. She snorted at him and rolled her eyes as she passed him, a stay of execution earned.

"What I was going to say, before I was rudely interrupted, was that while I was with her I accidentally slipped into my normal voice. I guess I was just so comfortable with her that it seemed the natural thing to do. The odd part was that I don't think she noticed. She never mentioned how I was speaking, not a word or an odd look or anything. So maybe sooner rather than later I can get to being myself, which I got to tell you I can't wait for. You have no idea how hard or annoying it is to speak in such a proper and measured fashion. I don't know how you put up with it for so many years." Rei had been talking the entire time she and Shinji had been making their way through various isles. Picking up items here and there and throwing them into a hand basket that Rei had picked up upon entering the store.

"Well, personally, I just learned to ignore most of what you said," Shinji said as he put an ever increasing amount of distance between himself and Rei, finally rounding a corner and making a break for it as soon as he finished his sentence.

"Stop acting your age!" Rei yelled at his ever diminishing back, paying no mind to the stares cast her way. About an hour later they made their way out of the store, Rei pleased that they didn't waste the ENTIRE day looking around stores. Shinji intermittently complained about the weight of his bag in comparison to his still slight frame. Rei paid it no heed and merely gave him the old you reap what you sow message, some sort of revenge for his previous transgressions.

"Well, it's way past lunch time," Shinji mused as he checked the time on a street side clock. "How about lunch? My treat."

"You just want a chance to put down your bag for a while and not make it look like you're tired," Rei spoke to herself, of course loud enough so that he could hear it. Seeing his shoulders fall she covered her mouth with her left hand and vainly tried to suppress a laugh. "Sure, Shin, but only if I can pick the place." Taking her chin in hand she tried desperately to remember what was around Tokyo 3, a hard feat since it had been so long. That and when she had last lived here she hadn't exactly been a social individual.

As he finally dropped his bag due to a total muscle failure, Shinji turned to regard the deep-in-thought angel. "OK two things right off the bat: first, you can only call me that if I can still call you Blue or some other nicknames I come up with in the future; second, good luck with trying to pick out anything, everyone's hauling ass out of here and with how different things are we don't even know if anything we remember even exists." As he spoke he counted off his points on his fingers in an exaggerated manner, a condescending move that annoyed Rei, which was of course its intent.

"Asuka's right, you are a stick in the mud, you know that?" Feigning annoyance, she crossed her arms under her breasts and shifted all of her weight to her right leg.

"If you were a man, I'd throw you the finger, so you're lucky, Ms. Ayanami." While talking he, with his last shred of energy, swiped at the air in front of him, the intention meaning 'go away.' Walking over to his side, Rei grabbed his bag but before lifting it spoke.

"Well, since you seem to be wiped out, let's just go to the nearest place. Sound good to you?" He didn't know if her current tone was pleasant because she was taking some sort of perverse pleasure in his suffering or if she was just smug because yet again she was right about something. He responded with a thumbs up.

Ten minutes later they sat looking at the menu of a bistro of moderate quality. Lunch went as lunches usually do: small talk here and there, enjoying the company of the people you're eating with. Shinji tried to extend their stay because in his own words "I think that my spine is about to snap, I mean c'mon, don't I already look shorter to you?"

The most noteworthy thing that came out of their conversation was that on Sunday Shinji was supposed to go to an arcade with 'the stooges' as they had once been called. While spending time with them would be an odd mixture of fun and lingering weirdness it was still something he wanted to do. Not for the games, he had long ago lost his lust for gaming, not to mention that these games would be archaic by his standards, but for the time with his old friends. Hanging out with people so young when you are so old is a definite form of culture shock and a constant effort to try and not strangle them for acting stupid. But really from time to time who doesn't want to let out their inner child? An odd combination for what he knew would be the most odd of days.

Hell, Shinji still couldn't figure out why there was an arcade in the Geofront, Commander No Fun really didn't seem like the gamer type. The best he could figure was that someone had slipped it through when he was on a spree of signing papers. Maybe it was there so that NERV could recoup a portion of their paychecks? But really who cares so let's get back to our main cast. It was there one way or another and apparently Touji and Kensuke were well-loved patrons.

As lunch ended and they made their way back to the Geofront's entrance B13, one of the two of them almost waddling by this point. Their day together over they bid each other a farewell and went on their separate ways. Four days later, Rei's reactivation test was successful; neither of them felt like celebrating that occasion.

AN: This fantastic song is sung by a very talented man, Thomas DeCarlo Callaway, AKA Cee Lo or Gnarls Barkley whatever you want to call him. All rights and et cetera for this song go to him, his label, and all respective copyright holders. I own nothing.

Got a pic up of what they wore on their trip into town. Ignore those girly shoes Shinji is wearing, in my mind he was wearing flip flops. As always pics are on Evamade, the link is on my FFN front page, name is Random Char clone.


	7. Dismantel Repair

**Dismantle. Repair. **

Hands, like secrets, are the hardest thing to keep from you  
Lines and phrases, like knives, your words can cut me through  
Dismantle me down (repair)  
You dismantle me  
You dismantle me

I am the patron saint of lost causes

Give me time to prove  
Prove I want the rest of yours  
Call this a prelude to a lifetime of you  
It's not that I hang on every word  
I hang myself on what you repeat  
It's not that I keep hanging on  
I'm never letting go

Oh, things are going to change now for the better  
And oh, things are going to change

Taking Shinji's advice, Rei and Hikari had rescheduled their trip, taking it before September 1st the day of Rei's reactivation. The day came and went with no hassle much to everyone's satisfaction. Though it didn't end in damage or injury, it was still a bit of a mixed blessing. It was her first time back in the plug in forty years, and she found it as cold and hallow as ever. When this was voiced to Hikari she had been shocked, never in the simulations had she had that sort of sensation. Rei attested it to the difference between a training plug and the real thing. There was really no reason to tell her that sitting inside of a giant living being that is co-inhabited by your soul from a previous clone of your friend's dead mom was awkward.

But back to the matter at hand.

During Shinji's male bonding excursion, he realized that the arcade was a great place for him and Rei to meet and talk about sensitive issues. All of the noise going on made it impossible for people to listen in on their conversations, that and it was a public place so they couldn't be accused of sneaking around or trying to avoid detection.

Honestly calling it an arcade was unfair. It had video games, but the building itself housed an indoor pool, pool tables, foosball, air hockey, table tennis, and a bar for the older officers. Attached via a covered breezeway were racquetball courts, tennis courts, basketball courts, and some batting cages. Hell, if it had a bowling alley it would be the best damn place in the city, above or below. The scale of it all was impressive, but when you're basically forcing people, between the ages of fourteen and sixty five, to live in a sealed city, distractions are needed. It was more like the officers recreation room on a military base then NERV liked to let on.

It was here that Shinji and Rei found themselves walking amongst the various game cabinets Monday evening, dressed casually so as to not draw attention. Shinji finally trying to look normal after peer pressure from Rei. Shinji wearing a light blue button up shit, that was unbuttoned, and a plain white tee under it. Rei still outclassed him though with a cute white shirt and skirt, with blue ribbons hanging from it in various places.

"Well it's the 5th and Ken's birthday is on the 12th so we have a week. You got him anything yet?" Rei asked as she sipped slowly on a Coke.

As they continued walking, Shinji's attention was drawn to Street Fighter 6 Alpha EX Turbo Edition International. "Man I haven't played that game in a lifetime." his voice becoming distant as he played a few good memories back in his head and stared off into space.

"Are you even listening to me?" Rei inquired as she poked him in the ribs lightly.

"What? Oh yeah, I am, Rei. Sorry just got dragged away by some memories. My bad." Shinji shook off the nostalgia as Rei laughed.

"What's so funny?" Shinji was obviously very lost at this point.

"Your bad? You're talking like Touji and Ken. I haven't heard you say something like that in a long time." She was nearly smiling through her words. "It's good, means that you've acclimated yourself quite well."

"Me? Look at you. I mean how did you even get invited to this thing?"

"Well to be honest, I was just there when Hikari got told about it and she invited me." Rei looked down at her cup and played with the straw for a moment. "But I am making strides, these things just take time is all." When things like this came up it was easy for them to forget themselves. Even with the words being spoken, Rei's actions and tone screamed out insecure. A far off from the woman he had known for so long, but he found himself sucked into the moment.

"Rome wasn't built in a day and all that jazz, right?" Shinji spoke while putting his arm around her shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "Hey Ms. Perky, don't be getting all me on me." Rei laughed at him for being a dork but they both knew she needed it.

He motioned over to the back wall of the arcade, which was lined with booths. Taking their seats on opposite sides of the table they subconsciously decided to chat for a bit before getting down to business. Got to keep up appearances you know.

"I gotta say, must be hard having your birthday party the day before the anniversary of Second Impact," Rei noted as she tipped the now lidless and empty cup back to get a few ice cubes.

"Couldn't tell just by talking to him, that's one of the things that's really different about this one. He's actually really stable, not at all flighty like we remember. I guess that's a byproduct of growing up in a military academy; could do without his tongue, though." Shinji crossed his arm and looked out at the gathered mingling masses as he uttered the last part under his breath.

"You get awfully annoyed with the jokes of a fourteen-year-old. It's unbecoming of a man of your-"

"Oh shove it, Blue," Shinji snapped. He was then +1 kick to the shin.

Rubbing the wound and shooting her as nasty a look as he could, Shinji reluctantly surrendered this round and leaned back in the bench. "If Asuka were here she would have taken my side." Shinji found himself gazing up into the rafters as Rei mentally disagreed with his assessment. In the background various revving engines, explosions, and death screams could be heard, signs that the world indeed continued to turn without them.

"The redhead I remember was not so chivalrous as to defend a damsel in distress." Rei now set aside her empty cup and grinned more menacingly than she had intended. Rei had never quite mastered the field of mischievous/playful. Instead of a verbal rebuttal Shinji squeezed the bridge of his nose and sighed. Since he had stared at the ceiling the entire time he had missed her miscue, but would have blamed it on his father if he had, like he did for most things.

"The seventh should be here in a few days. Hell Asuka should have shown up a week ago," Shinji said following his sigh. "Maybe you're right Rei, maybe your dates…" Shinji stopped speaking and turned his gaze back to the angel across from him.

"Who knows?" Rei now leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table, chin in hand. "It's been a long time; besides, maybe things are just going to be different. Most things have been, so I would think we should be more surprised if they stayed the same."

"True, but I tried to worm some info about the angels's arrival dates from Asuka, but she didn't know anything between the 4th and 7th either. We've all blanked on them for some reason." Shinji pulled the Gendo pose and quickly realized his folly, leaving a disgusted look on his face.

"Well, if Asuka gets held back longer than we thought she would, at least everyone else is undergoing training already. I know it seems to be a faux pas to talk about our sync ratios but I'd have to think that given a unit, Kensuke, Touji, Hikari or any of the others would be more than competent." Rei sat back in her seat and placed her hands in her lap. She joined Shinji in gazing back into the teeming throng of people, most of which were complete strangers to them. Flashing, strobing lights and the assorted dings and whistles of prizes given and money taken droned on around them.

"But speaking of Asuka, I got some stuff from her yesterday."

Rei's countenance took on a confused look.

"Here," said Shinji as he pulled out his phone, and flying through a few menus, came upon the pictures.

As he handed Rei the phone, she questioned him. "Is it really OK for me to be looking at nude pictures of her?"

"Oh ha ha, I'm sure you think that's hilarious," he responded, deadpan.

"If I didn't I wouldn't have said it." Looking at the pictures, she got a big smile on her face. "Oh my God, that is the cutest outfit. She always did have good fashion sense." She passed from the picture of Asuka in an all white outfit, a white cardigan/hoodie, white long sleeve shirt, hat and miniskirt; to one of her in her plugsuit on a catwalk in front of the face of Unit 2, with it apparently activated. "How did she–"

"No idea whatsoever," Shinji interrupted. "With her I just nod my head and agree. I gave up trying to figure out how she did things a long time ago."

"Hey, where is her A10?" Rei asked when she got to the last picture, one of Asuka in a lavender hoodie, pinkish purple V-neck and a black skirt.

"Yeah, the bumps aren't there; she told me she isn't wearing them all the time like she used to. I guess she just decided to give them up, like she eventually did last time."

"But wouldn't that be odd for her to do? For these people she's been wearing them 24/7 for years." Rei now started to peel apart her wax-covered cup as they continued their conversation. She seemed to be having a hell of a time keeping her hands still.

"I asked her about that and she said no one had brought it up so I guess she's in the clear this time. But I warned her from doing too many things like that all at once. She needs to be really gradual with all of these changes, no need to draw even more unwanted attention," Shinji paused for a moment before resuming. "She told me that Kaji's been on her case about talking to me all the time and all of that. She says he's jealous." The last sentence Shinji couldn't get out with out a chuckle.

"Well that's a load of shit if I've ever heard one." Rei joined Shinji in laughing at her friend's poor attempt at self-centered humor.

"That's exactly what I told her, verbatim almost." They both lapsed into silence for a few moments as their smiles faded and deciding and they didn't have any eaves droppers, they got down to business. Shinji idly wondered how the people who were basically throwing money into the garbage could be so carefree considering the situation they were all in. His reply came in the jeering of one of his classmates whose name he couldn't remember. He was dissing his opponent about how he had just ripped his spine out and how much of a punk he was. Shinji decided it was far better for his sanity to just block them out for the rest of the day.

"OK so what do you have for me?" Shinji's voice was all business, like it was some kind of debriefing session.

"Well, you know those pills I used to take all the time?" Shinji nodded but it was evident he wasn't sure what she was trying to get at. The pills were just such a daily routine that they were easy to forget about.

"I stopped taking them." Rei kept a straight face through their talk. She knew it was important to keep in the background, making big gestures or raising your voice would only draw attention. Shinji had apparently been asleep during those lessons.

"Are you out of your mind?" Shinji half stood up in his seat, his voice a harsh whisper, vainly trying to keep it below a yell. He quickly looked around to see if anyone was staring, an even more 'hey look at me and pay attention to what's going on over here' move than the previous ones. If she could have, she would have face palmed, epically.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" He said, finally taking his seat and speaking in a real whisper.

"Do I look dead to you?" She conveyed her sarcasm more than adequately.

"This is not the time to get smart Rei, that's a serious risk. Why didn't you tell me about that? That is something we should have discussed beforehand." The worry and hurt was plain on his face. That she had hidden it from him was a blow to the agreement he thought they had.

"You would have just said no to it, Shinji. We both know that you would have never let me, so I had to do it like this." She kept her placid façade while Shinji struggled with his emotions, as he always had. "I'm glad that you're worried about me, but look, I fine. Nothing happened." She wanted to reach across and pull his hand from his head but didn't. Shinji sat there with his hands on his temples slowly running them through his hair over and over. Yet another action that would draw attention; 007 he was not.

After doing this for some time in silence, Shinji seemed to get a far off look in his eyes as he raised them up to meet Rei. But still he didn't talk; he seemed to be gathering himself for a more succinct thought.

"I don't understand; you should be dead. You told me if you didn't take them every twelve hours you would go into shock and die. What's going on?" When he spoke with such an intensity and tone he seemed a mirror image of his father, something Rei would never tell him.

"It's a lie, all of it. I think they were just doing it as a measure to keep me on a short leash. Behave or we yank the pills, that sort of thing," Rei couldn't bare his gaze any longer and began to stare at her hands as she wrung them nervously. "Besides, that's not the biggest bit of news." She waited for Shinji to respond but when he didn't she forced herself to choke out the words.

"I'm not the second."

Still Shinji sat there, his eyes boring holes into her. He didn't even flinch.

"I always had this feeling…I knew I was the second or the third. I could just tell; it's not a feeling I could ever describe to you, even if I tried. But in the last few days I just realized that I didn't have that feeling, I feel... older somehow, but not in an age sort of way. See I'm not getting this across well at all." Rei's shoulders fell as far as they could as she slumped over.

"I can't even put a number to it, but I think it may be really high. I'm not even sure how I feel about that. It really doesn't matter in the end I guess, but still, ya know?"

"I gotta be honest Rei, I don't know." Shinji finally fell out of his trance and became more animated. "I do know who you are, though, and to me that's all that I care about. Numbers are meaningless unless you give them power, two, three, thirty four... who gives a flying fuck."

Rei gave him a small smile and as he returned it a memory flashed by. It was vague, but happy, and his smile widened.

They sat in silence for some time, each lost in their own thoughts. Just as Shinji was debating whether or not to get some quarters and indulge himself in some serious retro gaming, his stomach rebelled. Obeying the growling, he turned his attention back to Rei, who looked like if she believed that if she stared at the table hard enough the meaning of life would jump out of it and kick her in the forehead. Trying to get her attention subtly was useless and Shinji eventually had to resort to snapping his fingers in her face.

Rei damn near jumped out of her skin she had been so surprised. She put her hand on her chest as she spoke as if she was trying to keep her heart from leaping out of her rib cage. "Huh? What is it? Sorry I just kind of spaced out there for a bit."

"I asked if you wanted something to eat before we leave." What Rei had been thinking about so intently that she disconnected from reality was a question she would never answer. Shinji knew that because he would ask her about it on three separate occasions.

"No, to tell the truth I've felt bad all day. Headache, tired, bloated and these nasty cramps. Haven't eaten much all day really, just didn't feel like it." She paused for a second, "What's with that look?" As Rei had recounted her symptoms, realization and then a grimace flashed across Shinji's face.

"You have no idea how many times I've heard that. Brings back memories of sleeping on the couch." Shinji snickered at his own memories for a moment.

"What for?" Rei inquired.

"PMS, Rei. I love her to death but Asuka is a total bitch when it's her time. You have no idea." Twice after that statement Shinji opened his mouth to speak and no words came out. "Rei, how long ago did you stop taking those pills?"

"About a week, why?" By now Rei was a bit worried by the way Shinji was conducting himself. "Look, this doesn't have anything to do with them. If I was going to get sick from not taking them it would have either started a few days ago or it would be a lot worse than this. You're overreacting, I knew you would do this." She was quickly getting agitated; why Shinji was trying to control her life was beyond her. Her angry internal menstruations were not only far off the mark, but cut off by a statement she thought she would never hear.

"Rei, I think you're menstruating. You know, your period." Shinji whispered. Rei laughed at him. "Hey I'm serious. Those are all symptoms. As a man who lived with Asuka as long as I did, trust me, I know all about PMS."

Rei rolled her eyes before shaking her head in a bemused fashion. "Shinji, you know very well that I don't do that. Never have, never will. And to be honest I don't think I'm missing anything all that great, besides-"

"Hear me out for a second." Shinji interrupted her for the third time today, something she would make him regret in the near future.

"You took those pills twice a day your entire life, right?" A nodded reply came.

"And you have never had your period; you are incapable of childbirth right?" Another nod, this time with her mind trying to out race Shinji's mouth. "I think that a side effect or maybe the intended effect of those pills was to stop that. You stopped taking the pills and your body is getting back to business. I mean, the timing has to be more than a coincidence."

"It's far more likely that I'm just coming down with something Shinji, it doesn't have to be some huge conspiracy theory. This whole conversation has become ridiculous, besides I'm not bleeding." She made a move to get out of her seat and leave, but Shinji grabbed her forearm.

"Name me one time in your entire life that you have ever been sick, one. I dare you." Rei began to speak but yet again was cut off. "That isn't a hangover or food poisoning."

"I'm getting really sick of you interrupting me every time I try and speak," Rei snarled.

"I'm not doing it to be rude Rei, you know that," Shinji declared. "I just know what you're going to say is all. I mean really, who knows you better than I do?"

"Never… I guess. Hm, I wonder why I never realized it." She tilted her head slightly and stared off into the distance.

"My guess is when you never get sick it just doesn't register as odd that you're not. Must be due to you-know-what."

Burying her head in her hands, she spoke. "Well isn't this just great, now I get to suffer like everyone else, just what I always wanted." Her tone dripped with sarcasm.

"Well, I do think it is good news," Rei lifted her head with a raised left brow. "I'm serious, I mean haven't you always wanted to start a family?"

"…Yeah. But, ya know? It's…" Flustered didn't even begin to describe her. Shinji gave her a slight push on her right shoulder as he leaned over the table.

"Calm down. Your fourteen, it's not like were talking next week. Jeez, you're thinking about this way too much. All I'm saying is that at some point if you decide to settle down after the war, you can. Can you imagine it, Rei, your own family?" Shinji was all grins and joviality at this point. There was one fact about any who knew the old Shinji, and its that he loved children. His own were treated like royalty by their father, and everyone else's weren't far behind.

"Yeah, I can." Her cheeks were red even in the darkness of the arcade.

"See, that's the spirit; it should make you happy. Besides it's like I told you, you'll make a great mother. I know it." After a few more minutes of talking about various things going on at the academy, they decided that they had things they needed to take care of and separated for the afternoon. It had been decided that this location indeed suited their needs and would be a regular stop for them in the future. All they had to do was find a way for them to keep their talks from being misconstrued by their classmates.

They would fail at this miserably.

As Shinji awoke the next morning he came out of his room just in time to catch Misato as she went out the door in her dress uniform.

"Sorry this is so sudden Shinji, but I'm going out of town for the night on business. I'll be back tomorrow morning. I left some money on the table for you to get dinner with." The words flew out of her mouth at light speed and after a hug that Shinji was nearly too surprised by to return, she was gone. As she left their apartmetn and the door slid shut with that mechanical hiss, it hit him like a ton of bricks.

Jet Alone.

The 4th hadn't even appeared yet, let alone Ramiel. Shinji was in a tailspin. What the fuck was with this timing? By the time he gathered his wits he had already called Rei, seemingly by reflex. An alarm went off in his head as Rei answered the phone, 'The phones are tapped'. He hung up on her and headed out the door, her call back came as quickly as you may figure. Since his mind was racing too fast to come up with an adequate scheme, his talk with her was brutish and short. Main point gotten across, 'Can I come over for a minute to talk? Yes.'

Her response to the news had been similar to his, but then something important occurred to him. He had even less time than this to prepare for Jet Alone last time and he had been fine. Hell, it wasn't even a real fight at all, and this time he would have Rei, or at least he might. Her plan of action entailed them going to Central Dogma now, so that when the inevitable call came they would be that much quicker to respond. It made good enough sense, and as they turned off the shower in her bathroom, to cover their voices, Shinji decided that Rei spent way to much time reading crime and mystery novels.

If asked by the people watching them to explain why the two of them were standing in a bathroom, talking with the shower on, they would have been hard pressed. Luckily it never came up.

Standing in their respective changing rooms, plug suits on, they tried to pass the time in unassuming ways. No one came in to check up on them so outside interaction was nil but they had to hope that they didn't have cameras on them. Not only from a privacy perspective, but yet again a big chance was being taken by acting in a proactive manner. At the very least there had to be an audio setup recording ever creak the latex like substance made as they moved.

At 12:03 they finally got the call from Misato. Shinji's phone rang and a rather calm and collected head of operations broke down the situation.

"I've already received clearance for you to launch, so I need you to listen to me very carefully Shinji. The bit of business I was sent here for was an autonomous robot called Jet Alone. Some people out there are trying to replace the Eva's, but at the moment the whys and how's are unimportant to you. What is important is that its nuclear powered and its internal reactor is over heating. The unit is no longer accepting commands and all of its circuits are blocked, so it falls to us to stop it. The big problem is that we can't destroy it because of all the radiation and it's currently heading right towards Asugi. The company's bureaucracy is keeping them from getting us the total shut down codes, so you're going to have to stop its progress. I have a plan already laid out, while you and Rei are in transit I will relay the strategy to you. Is that understood pilot?" Misato, although it was at times very easy to forget, was his CO and a military officer. Her spiel laid that out again pretty succinctly; he had to be impressed at her directness if nothing else.

"Understood."

"Good, I'll be in contact again at 12:45 Katsuragi out." And his phone was dead.

A quick relay of info to Rei and they were on their way, 12:37 and they were airborne.

12:41

"I ever tell you that I hate heights?" Rei's voice showed no nervousness, but Shinji knew that if she said it then it must be true.

"Surprisingly no, you've never mentioned that to me. Hm, I wonder why that is?" Shinji rubbed his chin in thought at he grasped at some long lost bit of information.

"I guess I just never though it was pertinent. But yeah, I am thoroughly not enjoying this."

"But what about the-" This time it was her chance to cut him off.

"Scared to death the entire time." She cracked a small smile at the time long past.

"I'm sure this dead drop will just delight you to no end then, huh?" Rei's sarcastic rebuttal was cut off by Misato's voice coming over the com. She was early.

"By our current estimation, by the time you make contact with the JA it will have approximately 5 minutes until complete meltdown. After you have been released the transports will leave the area due to danger from the radiation leak so you will be on your own. We have cleanup crews coming from all over the country to take care of the mess this thing is going to leave. It's not your problem so don't worry about it, got it?" She received two nods over the video link and continued on.

"The original plan was for you two to lift me to the back of this thing and let me reset it all manually. Unfortunately it seems that before the thermometer broke in the damn thing it read a temperature so hot that it would melt the material of any hazard suit that tried to open the door to emergency control. The radiation is so high now it would have been a nearly instantaneous death anyway. That being what it is, you guys are going to have to take out the thing's legs and then try to contain the blast when it goes as best as you can. As far as fallout and all that goes I have some mixed news, I had Dr. Akagi run some scenarios through the magi about your AT fields protecting you from it." She took a moment to collect her thoughts and scanned over a print out she picked up off her lap.

"Its not looking too good guys, they keep throwing out different results each time we run the tests. It ranges from you would be totally fine to they wont stop it at all. So all I can tell you is that as soon as the blast is done, get out fast. We'll have people waiting for you, but if you're incapacitated or run out of power, things could get dicey fast." It was at this point that her cold exterior dropped.

"This is going to be more dangerous than your first fight Shinji, I have to admit. Not the fight itself we think, but after it. Rei?" She put away her notes and became serious, dropping the militaristic formality.

"Ma'am?" She thought she knew what was coming.

"I'm putting you in charge of evac. I don't care if you have to drag Unit 1 away, you get him away and to the cleanup crew ASAP? Clear?"

"Crystal."

"Good to hear it."

"You guys talking about me as if I'm not going to make it isn't helping my confidence any." Shinji tried to break the ice with a joke, moderate success was his.

"Hey, if you die I get demoted, and I have bills to pay, ya know." This drew a small chuckle from Rei.

"Et tu, Rei?" His over-exaggerated frown should have garnered him more favorable responses but Misato held a finger up to her ear. She was getting yelled at for fraternizing during a mission…Gendo.

"Ok guys, its go time. Grab your weapons before the drop. They have already been loaded into your cargo bays. Good hunting, command out."

Rei now opened a private channel with Shinji. Surprisingly the private channels were actually private, no one was recording them or listening in. A lesson learned their first time around the block.

"You always said that the Jet Alone fight was cake. Should we expect the same?" No worry was in her voice, merely inquisitiveness.

"Well, to be honest I don't know how it could really do anything. Even if he is super aggressive there are no weapons, so this should be a one-hitter-quitter fight."They heard a beep as a dossier popped onto their screens. It had schematics and some of the finer points of the plan on it. After scanning it for a moment Rei exploded.

"What kind of weapon is a dual bladed chainsaw? Could that be any more unwieldy or dangerous to use? Who would create something like this or OK it for combat?" Rei rolled her eyes as she leaned her head to her right, a habit no doubt picked up from Hikari. She was nearly beside herself in exasperation at the idiocy of her melee du jour.

"My guess is Misato on both counts, as she is head of operations. I'm not faring much better, I got that horrible axe. Asuka used this thing once and it did a grand total of jack shit, great." He rolled his eyes before once again rubbing the bridge of his nose. Asuka always yelled at him when he did that, Rei luckily wasn't quite so strict.

"Well since we are only trying to take out its legs and not destroy it I guess they make sense, or at least more sense. Should get the legs on one swipe with either of these I'd think. I don't care how much armor it has." Rei finished reading about her weapon and went on to the schematics as Shinji was giving the finalized plan a once over to see if Misato had missed anything important.

"Page four, Ikari." It was a command, odd to hear from Shinji's fairly-complected companion.

"Son of a Bitch!" That was a fair description really.

Jet Alone PRIME as it was called wasn't any run of the mill salad tosser. Its reactor spun internal turbines to produce an electrical charge that was stored in a metal ring lofted above the head of the unit. How it stayed aloft was information not supplied by its creators, not that it really mattered in the end though. According to what they read though the normal output couldn't not be trusted at this point, an over active reactor could have super charged it past maximum capacity. Misato wrote that random discharge or explosive meltdown was possible. And it got better from there: how about a rocket-powered sledge hammer for our contestants? Sound absurd to you?

A 500-ton head measuring 25-by-40 feet in diameter propelled at insane speeds by the jets would do massive damage to anything, Eva included. Luckily it wasn't fully armed for the initial public test, so that's as far as it's arsenal went, if the information could be trusted that is. Before any official complaint could be filed by the two pilots, a countdown appeared overlaying their reports, time to drop.

As weightlessness washed over Shinji he heard that familiar voice in the back of his mind once again.

"Beware the reach of the iron giant." The voice was still barely a whisper.

"I'm aware of that, mother." Miffed as he was by her recent spree of cryptic messages, he could never really be angry at his mother.

"I pray for your quick recovery." The breathy echo sent a chill down his spine, as if she had her lips to his ear. But before Shinji could question her further he made impact. The jarring experience seemed to break his connection, yet another reason he preferred practice sessions over the real deal.

The blue behemoth passed him by and reality came crashing back. Speeding up to keep pace the JA quickly grew on the screen in front of him. As soon as they came within two clicks of it, all forward progress on its end ceased. Turning in place to face him, the whir of the disk floating like a halo above the JA's head could be felt in their bones, even from this distance. As bursts of electricity arced from on side of the circle to the other they gave off thunderous claps. Misato had been right yet again, Rei decided that she needed to stop doing that.

As giant plumes of steam blew out of the pipes that jutted from the unit's back, it gave off a ferocious look, nothing like the big, dopy mecha hat Shinji once faced. Hefting his axe into position as Rei started up the saw, they moved into place, taking up positions at twelve and three o'clock.

Rei made the first move, by making a pass by its right side. The automaton seemed to be daring any sort of action. The plan was to try and turn its attention to her so Shinji could strike at it from behind. Shinji would most likely take a hit from the ring but all he needed was to make one solid swipe. If it fell over the halo would hit the dirt, ground out, and no longer be a threat.

Give a dollar to the military tactician once said that no plan survives contact with the enemy.

As she neared the JA, Rei swung the saw from below her waist in an upward arc across her chest from right to left. The engines on Jet Alone's sledge went into action as it lifted the weapon over its right shoulder as a baseball player would. It then spun at the hip in a 360-degree turn using the force of the turn and the jets combined to build up an outrageous speed. The hammer came down on the dual saw, and it burst into white hot light. Rei didn't even have time to scream. In the live video up-link received by command, a light filled the plug and then static.

As the light flashed, Shinji once again heard his mother's voice, but it was so low he couldn't discern anything from it. He charged in anyway. So what if it seemed to have abilities that hadn't been disclosed to him? He needed to get in there and help Rei while she was prone. As he closed the distance, rushing right at its back, Jet Alone turned to face the downed Unit 00. Just as he made his swipe, going for what would have been Achilles tendons, Shinji noticed the floating disk above Prime began to spin at an ever increasing pace. The ring stopped on a dime and dropped down to ankle level. Realizing a bit too late that the ring was wider than the JA, Shinji took a chunk so large out of the ring that he actually severed it.

Unfortunately the axe was now firmly stuck, not that Shinji had a chance to try and pry it free. The moment he made contact a jolt ran down the axe and into Shinji's hands, giving them 3rd degree burns instantly. Of course he reflexively let it go, but the damage had been done. The ring sprang back to its previous position and rapidly spun back up to full speed tossing the axe far into the distance. As JA's hammer burst into flames again, Shinji knew what was coming and he dove away from the initial swing.

Coming up from his diving roll, Shinji deployed the progressive knives from both of his shoulder holsters as the seconds of power he had left continued to tick off. But at the moment his power was the least of his problems. He had to beat this guy before he went into full nuclear meltdown and get both him and Rei away from the fallout AFTER he stopped the nuclear explosion.

Gritting his teeth through the pain he contemplated his next move as he saw movement behind the JA, but instead of backup it appeared that Rei was running from the fight. Before Shinji could voice his protests, the Jet Alone turned and took off after her. So began an odd version of tag.

As the Prime unit bore down on the weaponless Rei, the ring above it spun, but slowly this time. A near endless stream of power flowed across the severed section. In passing Shinji heard Misato yell out something to Rei over the comm, but his mind was detached from any other goings on. Suddenly the game was over and Shinji found himself rapidly approaching the back of a now stationary Jet Alone. He did the first thing he could think of and sank both knives into what would have been its kidneys had it been a man.

He rapidly back peddled to avoid a strike from the hammer but was again surprised by a blast from the ring. His AT field was activated, but the blast's diameter matched his entire torso. Misato would later tell him that after the shot, the ring fell to the ground inert, its entire stockpile of energy escaping in that one blow. It would matter little to Shinji, however, as the attack went straight though his shield as if it were nothing but open air. The force of it launched his Eva through the air for over a mile. Not even a full second after the halo hit dirt the JA came crashing down after it, its legs severed a few meters below its hips by the axe of Ayanami Rei. The fight lasted less than two minutes.

Misato flashed onto Rei's monitor screaming about various things, Shinji, the impending explosion, evacuation procedures, and a myriad of other things. She heard them but wasn't listening; her attention was on the site before her: that of a smoldering husk of what used to be Unit 1. The metal had been superheated to the point that it distorted the air around it. She moved in to assist but then realized that she unfortunately had more pressing matters than checking to see if Shinji had even survived the attack.

It was at this point that she began to respond to command again and projected her AT field in such a manner that it seemed to be attempting to press Jet Alone's core into the earth itself. Smothering the detonation was how Misato described it, Rei, on the other hand, felt that she was about to take an 850 megaton cock to the face. When a noise goes over a preset decibel limit, the audio system of the Eva mutes it to prevent hearing damage in its pilots, so Rei never really heard Unit 01, but she read the message loud and clear.

The roar emanating from its mouth was ferocious. As it burst out of the restraints binding its mouth shut, Unit 01 asserted its dominance over the battlefield. As it regained its footing, the video link to its pilot showed an unconscious Shinji, his body slightly hunched forward as if asleep. Blood seeped out of his ears, nose, open mouth and even his eyes, forming a red aura that surrounded his head. His eyes were open but rolled back into his head. He was out like a light.

As car-sized bits of armor continued to melt and fall to the earth like molten rain, Shingoki staggered drunkenly up to Rei's side and pressing its hands onto the back of her AT field, yelled yet again. Pressing down with all of its power the JA sank ten feet into the solid earth as the now combined AT field's shimmered black and white. The explosion turned the entirety of the countryside within sight of ground level into glass. As soon as the shock wave passed, Unit 01 collapsed into what used to be Jet Alone Prime, but was now just a superheated pit of boiling glass.

Pulling it away from ground zero, Rei debated trying to take Shinji's entry plug out so he would be easier to move. Then Unit 00's Geiger counter pegged out.

"Damn." Simple reply for a complex problem.

It didn't help matters any that Rei only had 30 seconds of power left. "C'mon you piece of junk, move." She struggled with all of the dead weight as best as she could and a second before everything went black, heaved the mangled test type as far away as she could. Her job now done the sickness hit hard. Emptying her stomach into the plug, Rei began to convulse. Luckily for her, she quickly lost consciousness.

"Did everything go according to the scenario?"

"Basically."

"Explain."

"The units and their pilots took far more damage than we predicted."

"That is of no consequence other than to our budget."

"Then yes, I guess everything ended up OK. We won't have to worry about hearing from them ever again."

"Good. How is the other project progressing?"

"It will be ready in time for the transit."

"Excellent."

"Are the two of them going to make it?"

"That is no matter of yours. Stick to what you are good at, agent."

"OK, I get the message."

"See that you do." *Click*

As he blew the last puff of smoke high into the sky, the man's thoughts went back to Japan, and the people suffering there. Putting the cancer stick out he began the long trek back home, staring at the ground laid out in front of him the entire time, planning his next move and his next report.

_August 10__th__, 2015. The diary of Asuka Langley Soryu._

OK, I think that this may be the best way for me to get down all of the things going on in what has now become my life. I can't do this on my computer because I'm sure it's key logged and they look at everything I do. So this little book that I keep in my purse will have to serve as a silent testament to me attempting to unravel this mess.

As with most things the best place to start is at the beginning. The first thing I remember after the lightning bolt was a long stream of hallucinations, they may have been dreams, it's impossible to tell the difference really.

It started off with an image of one of the pre-prototype Eva units crucified and pinned down by dozens of small replicas of the lance of Longinus. It seems as if I'm under some great pressure, like I'm in the water with it. Scratch that, it's probably LCL and not water, can't tell because everything has the tint of cherry Kool Aid. Then I see Shinji bursting through some cloud cover, as if bigger than the world itself, after that things get nasty. I start to relive my fight against those...things. I'm having a hard time even writing about them, even after all this time. So I'm not going to dwell on it. But the scenery is different, it's as if were fighting in the bowels of Hell itself. I see the entire thing from the outside, like its some perverse video game.

Luckily that vision did not last very long before I see the liar, the fake, the deceiver. I won't even name it, things don't deserve names. It was surely nothing more than a creation, as one might create a man of popsicle sticks, but it was covered in blood and gore. It appeared to have recently feasted, on what I dare not venture a guess. That vision goes on for far too long. I have no corporeal form, but it knows I'm there and attempts to speak to me. It moves its mouth but no words come out, ashen-haired freak. Next thing I see is only a flash and I've had a hard time discerning what it is but it's my unit, at least I think it is. But something is different about it, it goes by so quickly that I couldn't make it out anymore when I thought about it later on, like now for instance. Memory gets fuzzier on me as time goes by.

But as I came to, I was in bed. It's not my bed at home with Shinji. No, this place belonged in a memory long since lost to time. First thing I thought was that I was dead, and maybe this was Hell. I couldn't think of a worse fate than doing this all over again. But around the time I finally got out of bed and found myself aimlessly walking around my old room, some nameless drone started knocking at my door and ordered me to get up and ready for the days classes. The rest of that day was a total blur, the only thing I can remember is getting yelled at nearly nonstop for being lost all the time and not knowing things they said we had been going over recently in class.

My gut reaction was to get mad at them, but I was honestly so lost and bewildered that I just sort of went along, numb to anything outside of my own head. It wasn't until that night after I had eaten dinner that I began to piece everything all together. I then proceeded to totally destroy my room; not proud of the outburst, but it sure felt good.

Got two days in the brig for that.

But really I'm glad for it, that much time let me get myself under control and formulate a game plan. I had come up with about six or seven different scenarios as to what could be going on, but each one was as ludicrous as the last. Even in my life of giant robots and monsters they seemed farfetched.

Upon release things started to flow much better, adopting a more anachronistic persona, I got the desired results and began to gather clues. But as with all things in this bizarre fantasy, the more I learn the more questions I have. Kaji doesn't seem to remember anything; testing him was a lot harder that I thought it would have been. But it's easy to play off awkwardness when you're a fourteen-year-old girl, the one blessing to this situation it seems.

Saw Shinji's first fight just this morning and went over it with the rest of the class. I don't know any of these people, supposedly they are pilot candidates like me, but I have no recollection of them. I'm not liking this much, well whatever this is.

_August 19th, 2015_

After a certain amount of acclimation to this situation I began to grow impatient. I'm a 54-year-old woman trapped in the body of a girl still in the throes of puberty. Now more than ever I can't seem to ignore the stupidity of my peers, male as well as female this time around. And having my cycle again is a crime against humanity, I had just gotten used to not having them anymore and I'm right back in the thick of things, yay for me.

Not having anyone I can really talk to is hard, I need some sort of confidant. Sadly this little experiment seemingly isn't as effective as I might have hoped. But perhaps I just need to give it more time.

I've begun to think that I may be the only one reliving this situation, the slim bit of hope I find myself clinging to was how different Shinji's fight was. Noting major, but it was enough for me; I have to keep my spirits up. Luckily I don't foresee that being a problem.

Unlike the good old days these people seem to be actual professionals. That being what it is, I have been forced to step up my game as well. But I had my PhD by the age of 20, and my IQ is far beyond 200, child's play at best, right? Well that held up until yesterday.

Yesterday, after a long wait, I called Shinji up. I had the entire encounter played out in my head. But I have to admit to myself that I totally blew it. Even now I have no idea how I could have just leapt into a situation like that after all of the other intricate planning I had done. Each action I commit to, every day, was laid out the night before, no wasted time or effort. I have set goals that I need to meet by a deadline.

But man I fucked it up bad. As soon as I heard his voice the little school girl inside of me took over. I find lapsing back into my old persona is getting to be far too easy and comfortable, it's something I need to keep an eye on. But on the matter at hand, if I'm honest I'll say that I wanted, well, no… needed to hear Shinji. As much as I don't like to admit it, I'm attached to that booger; you don't have three kids with someone who doesn't pull at your heart strings at least a little bit.

And so I jumped into the deep end and nearly drowned, I felt like slamming my face into the wall I was so ashamed of myself. But I did recover quickly and salvaged it from a total loss. And, if nothing else, it taught me a valuable lesson very early on: watch your step at all times. I think I should have picked up on that by now but here I am.

It really was good to talk to him though. Shinji, _MY Shinji_.

_August 22__nd__, 2015_

If I hear that stupid message of his one more time I'm going to pull all of my hair out. He sounds like a dork, I like his real voice much better that that lame simulation, much sexier.

_September1st, 2015_

I find myself constantly surprised by the transparency of not only my classes, but the upper echelon of leadership around here. I've learned more things in seminars and class about the truths of the third impact, our true mission as officers of NERV, and the world itself than I ever imagined. Even after the Full Discretion Act of 2023 released all of NERV's secrets, I didn't hear about some of this stuff. For example today they talked about the white and black moon that served as the Geofronts for the angels at the North Pole and NERV's HQ respectively. And some crazy thing about the black moon hitting earth early on in its life about 4 billion years ago and as it buried itself inside the earth the debris it threw up over time coalesced into the moon as we know it.

Sounds like a bunch of sci-fi bullshit to me, but with how truthful they seem to be I can't be positive about that.

One of the students asked about why they keep Lillith in Terminal Dogma at NERV HQ and yet again I am surprised by the amount of knowledge my contemporaries have. As a side note they are far more talented with their analytical, military, and piloting skills than I was at this point in my career. That irks me, but as I am not the person I once was, I'm still the top dog here. None of them like me, and its blatantly obvious, but they can all eat me. I'm leaving here soon and they will be left behind and forgotten quickly. I even find Kaji to frankly be lacking, I can't figure out for the life me what I ever used to see in him.

Hell, I should already be gone really, but I have been assured by Mr. Machismo that it's coming soon. I think he's jealous of my and Shinji's relationship. He should be. One day Shinji will be ten times the man he is. Sucks that I have to wait for him to grow into it again, though. I'm getting that itch again; scratching it myself isn't cutting it anymore, either. I miss Shinji. That baka should call me more often.

But I'm getting off track again, Wait, how am I doing that then I'm writing? It doesn't even make any sense, and why am I even writing this down? I blame Shinji.

His entire body was weak and he felt like he had just gotten up for a three day bender. Hitting the morphine button made everything gravy within a minute. Just as he began to nod back off again his door opened and in walked Rei.

"Misato told me that after she left they were going to wake you up. How are you feeling, Sleeping Beauty?" Her smile seemed to brighten up the entire room, but it was then that Shinji noticed all of the changes.

Rei's hair looked as if it had been buzz cut. Not only that but her face, neck, and arms all had a normal tone to them, nothing like her normal porcelain complexion.

"Yeah, that's the first thing everyone did when they saw me, so don't feel bad," she said the words, but didn't really seem to believe them. Shinji could literally feel her trying to shrink away from his view. "When the saw went off I got 3rd degree burns from my knees on up. It caused all the hair on my body to fall out and I was in pretty bad shape. That and the radiation poisoning left me out for over a week. I was actually burned worse than you, which is surprising considering the shape you were in. I actually started out beet red, but I'm getting lighter over time. Ritsuko thinks that in two or so week I should be back to my old self." A fake smile just didn't seem to fit upon her features.

For his part, Shinji was still in a great deal of pain so moving or any sort of active reaction just wasn't going to happen as far as he was concerned. Even talking didn't seem like a stellar idea but he had things that needed answering. "How long has it been?"

"You have been in a coma for 32 days, Shinji. They induced it as soon as you got here. You were in surgery or emergency care nonstop for the first eight days or so. I don't want to get into the really gory details, but Misato said that you weren't going to make it. The amount of radiation you were exposed to should have killed you." Rei now began to get watery-eyed and her voice hitched a bit.

"You should have seen how torn up Misato was, she actually spent more time here than I did." Rei paused for a moment to try and collect herself. "I've been told not to touch you because you're still not in the clear yet. They aren't going to let you out for at least a week or more." By this point Shinji was staring at the ceiling like some sort of sleeping Vietnam vet, disbelieving at how badly such an easy mission had gone.

"Everyone at school says they are proud of you. You got a lot better review this time on your performance… not for your skill or strategy or anything though. Touji said only a real man would get up after they shot you had taken and kept on fighting. He got them on your side with that one. Not to mention the big points he earned with Hikari for it." Her obvious digression was an attempt to keep herself from crying, but it would be unsightly to distress Shinji so soon after he had awakened.

"Ritsuko said you going to have to be on some type of gene therapy treatment for awhile; you're apparently crawling with cancerous growths. You'll live, but you'll have to come in every so often and get 'taken care of' as she put it. I'm not really sure what that means, she refused to tell me." Rei scanned Shinji and all of his visible skin grafts, gauze tinted pink with oozing wounds, and cracked and creased skin. His abdomen was covered by sheets and still wrapped below that. She couldn't see how it looked but Misato had promised her it was better if she didn't. Apparently she had and it left her less than pleased. "Misato said that the Magi are working on some sort of permanent fix, it's just a matter of time."

"I know the last thing you want to do is sleep some more, but I think it would be best if I head on out now. If I stay here any longer I'm going to start crying, and who would want to see that?" Shinji didn't even turn his head to face her. He shut his eyes and let out a ragged breath sounding more like a 60-year-old man with a three-pack-a-day habit than a fourteen-year-old. Rei knew exactly what Misato meant when she told her that dragging herself away from Shinji had been one of the hardest things she had ever done.

As soon as her hand was on the door handle her phone rang. Silently cursing herself for forgetting to turn it off she flicked it open as she stepped out into the hallway. The voice on the other end of the line was frantic and distraught.

"Asuka!"

AN: Ok I went big time with the pics this time. As always you can find them on Evamade, the link to the right thread is on my FFN homepage. Look for random char clone

They go as follows.

A view of the command center

The pic of what Shinji and Rei are wearing at the arcade

Pic of the other stooges and Hikari in their plug suits training. Yeah hair color is wrong on Hikari, what ya gonna do?

Then we have some of the pictures that Asuka sent Shinji. Starting off with the pic of her in her white outfit, then her in font of unit 2, finally her in a hoodie.

Then a pic of jet alone, I couldn't for the life of me find the real pic of jet alone prime, the one with the ring. So this will have to do guys, sorry. If any of you have the real one PLEASE send it to me and I will replace it on EM.

A pic of Gendo and Kaji.

Old Eva on a cross

Unit 2

Unit 2 fighting the MP Eva  
Bloody Kaworu

Unit 2 with its new head

Song is from the band Anberlin, and it's from a different viewpoint than usual. It also works cause they fought an actual robot. Try to figure out who's. All rights belong to the band and their label and respective copyright holders, I own nothing.

Epic thanks to my pre readers

Snow

Isamu

Syo

And the big timer, Hibiki


	8. Land of Confusion

**LAND OF CONFUSION**

I must have dreamed a thousand dreams  
Been haunted by a million screams

But I can hear the marching feet  
They're moving into the street

Now, did you read the news today?  
They say the danger has gone away  
But I can see the fire's still alight  
They're burning into the night

There's too many men, too many people  
Making too many problems  
And there's not much love to go around  
Can't you see this is a land of confusion?

This is the world we live in  
And these are the hands we're given  
Use them and let's start trying  
To make it a place worth living in

Oh, superman, where are you now?  
When everything's gone wrong somehow?  
The men of steel, these men of power  
Are losing control by the hour

This is the time, this is the place  
So we look for the future  
But there's not much love to go around  
Tell me why this is a land of confusion

I remember long ago  
When the sun was shining  
And all the stars were bright all through the night  
In the wake of this madness, as I held you tight  
So long ago

I won't be coming home tonight  
My generation will put it right  
We're not just making promises  
That we know we'll never keep

There's too many men, too many people  
Making too many problems  
And there's not much love to go round  
Can't you see this is a land of confusion?

_September 10__th_

This morning I read NERV Directive 183.2-E. I then proceeded to rip it into tiny pieces, and taking my lighter, burn it to ashes. Yet another aspect of this life that I've come to hate is my lack of freedom. I got myself a nice Zippo, but getting some decent _Cannabis sativa_ _indica _has proven to be impossible, I sure could have used it to calm down a bit.

_Due to recent incidents, the effectiveness of NERV's class 2 anti radiation countermeasures will be brought under investigation. In the case of further..._

Blah Blah Blah, it went on for 7 pages for some god forsaken reason. All that I know is that today is the first day that I feel up to writing in this thing since I heard about Shinji three days ago. I'm surprised that I'm even writing this down. I know that no one will ever see it, but really… is putting some inner monologue down on paper really going to make me feel any better? The original intent of this thing seems to be moot considering how infrequently I use it and how long it takes to get the simplest ideas across in a satisfactory manner. Any sense of catharsis seems to be lost on me, but seeing as how I have no friends here and little else to do that can adequately occupy my spare time, here I sit.

I spent most of the day Wednesday trying my hardest to just sneak away from my handlers and get back here so I could be alone. Seeing as how all of my attempts to do so failed, I merely did what I had to until the day was done and then took my leave of the rest of the world. I kept reading the reports and watching the videos over and over. I was able to get a hold of an audio log as well through Kaji, I'm sure it was completely illegal for me to have any of those items in my personal possession but I asked and they showed up. At least I know I can rely on him for some things.

I'm ashamed to even admit it here, but I cried for most of the rest of that day. Even now they seem pretty sure that he's not going to make it. He's had multiple organ failures, and a litany of other maladies that I don't care to go over again. If he dies I will be all alone.

I don't do well alone.

_September 11__th_

Apparently his heart stopped beating for almost 3 minutes last night. Kaji has been keeping me up to date on everything that's been going on. He seems to be really concerned as well. I don't know if he's doing that for my sake, Misato's, or what, but I really don't care what his motives are. All I know is I'm getting what I need. But I will still side on his being a decent human being for now.

I'm getting sick and tired of this. He stabilizes and then crashes and they stabilize him again and the next day it's something new. It sounds horrible to say this about him but I wish he would just get better or die. I can't take much more of this see-saw shit. It's messing with my head. If he does die…

I can't even think of that, last time I got too caught up in my emotions I was sitting in a rusty bath tub after slitting my wrists.

I'm pretty sure that Kaji told someone about me and Shinji because after class today they said I could take tomorrow off. That kind of stuff never happens, I don't know if they think I'm just some fragile child who needs to be coddled or if they know Shinji's dead and just don't have the balls to tell me yet. Both of them turn my stomach, just for different reasons.

Kaji won't talk to me about why.

_September 14__th_

He got out of surgery yesterday. They said that they think it may be the last one, a least for now. Kaji told me that his guardian told him that he's finally stable If Misato said it, then I know it's golden. She would never lie about him.

For the first time in a week I feel some relief. The last two nights I have been having lots of dreams. Most of them were about me and him. Some of them are events I don't remember, must be my imagination running wild, but the majority are all memories.

October 24th 2027

Shinji held his newborn sons in his hands. He radiated love, happiness, and pride. This was his chance to be better than his father, to finally step out from under his shadow and prove that he was a better man.

Asuka had passed out as soon as her part had been done. Labor had not been kind at all.

18 hours.

When she woke up he told her how beautiful she had looked and how proud of her he was. She hit him for being sentimental….she cried like a baby the first time she held the twins. She made Shinji promise to never tell anyone.

He told everyone.

April 3rd, 2022

As Shinji dragged himself out of bed, far later than usual, he grabbed his head in pain.

Hangover.

He reached around feeling for a certain someone, but found nothing. Afraid to get up lest he throw up all over the place, he didn't even feel up to yelling out for her. The way his head was pounding it would have been cranial suicide.

Luckily for him, providence at times shines upon those who are worthy. Asuka walked into the room and berated him for his weakness as she brought him a big glass of water and some pain go bye bye pills, the really good stuff.

Though her words and tone were harsh she was all smiles and even fluffed his pillow for him. A quick peck on the cheek and she let him be, pulling the curtains closed as she went.

Three months later he would propose to her, somehow he never got an answer.

But those were the good ol' days.

June 2nd, 2018

It was the first time they ever made love. As it goes with most people it was awkward, brief, and for Asuka, painful. But it was a day that Shinji would never forget. After all, Asuka would use that day against him hundreds of times when they were feuding. Of course, that all but insured that it was a day she never forgot as well, just for totally different reasons.

It had been Asuka's idea of course, and she damn near had to rape him to get him to consent. Not Shinji's shining moment to be sure. Alcohol had been involved to get Asuka's nerve up as well, but no one but her ever knew that, not even Hikari.

It was the day that she found out that Hikari was seeing Kensuke. It had blown both her and Shinji's minds. He had protested that it was an affront to Touji's memory, which started a big fight. Rei of all people was the one who broke it up and got everyone to just go their separate ways before a fight broke out.

She would never get thanked for that.

Asuka had everything planned out in her head, control over the situation was imperative to her, in all aspects of her life. Things happened how she wanted them to or they didn't happen at all. But the best laid plans of mice and men, you know how it goes. It would be a repeating situation with her and Shinji, he would muck up some plan she had for them and it would start a fight. Some were minor and quickly forgotten some would have him sleeping at Kens, or in Hikari and Kens spare bedroom, or even at Rei's place later on.

But they always ended up back together, it seemed they couldn't escape each other, or was it that they didn't want to?

I'm sure the answer wouldn't have mattered to their kids.

February 17th, 2016

It was the first time he had ever hit a woman, it was a punch to the nose. A right jab, if you were boxing inclined.

It soon turned into rolling around on the ground, biting, clawing, elbows, and headbutts. You think of it, it probably happened. It ended when he kneed her in the taint and she doubled up and stopped fighting back. He got to his feet and spit on her. He had finally had enough of her bullshit and she sure as hell knew it now.

She would eventually regain her footing and more fights would come in the decades that followed, but never one like this. She knew that in a real fight, Shinji couldn't be trusted, he was a rabid animal.

That turned her on, she didn't want a doormat.

The next day she would really kiss him for the first time. He was damn good at it, not that she would have known what a bad kisser was like.

Asuka snapped out of her reverie as she realized that she was crying, the pages beneath her covered in wet spots. Her first response was to chide herself for such weakness, but she didn't even have the energy, she was drained mentally and physically.

'I should be there, holding his hand.' She thought to herself. She wanted to break something again, to rage at the world, this situation, her emotions, Shinji himself. But all of that amounted to nothing more than yells that reverberated off soundproof walls. The people bugging her room got a nice earful though.

As she stared at the pages before her she got the urge to burn the dammed thing, just like that stupid report.

She would sit and write twelve pages more that night, recounting memories long forgotten about herself and Shinji. She then tore them out and ripped them up before calling Kaji to see if he had gotten any new news.

_Sept 14 Cont. _

I just called Kaji, he got mad at me for calling him at 3:45 in the morning but I hadn't slept so it didn't matter to me. The only thing he told me is that it Shinji was probably going to be scared for life across his abdomen and the other places where he had gotten skin grafts. When I brought up plastic surgery he told me that I should be more worried about his survival than his looks. I actually felt ashamed for a second.

Apparently he also had three different types of metastasized cancer. Now by everything I know about medicine, that's a death sentence. Kaji told me that it wasn't the case, that Dr. Akagi had some way to keep him in check. She seemed confident that she could keep it under control.

I don't trust her, never have, never will.

_September 20__th_

We spent the entire class today talking about the Positron Based Non-Nuclear Antimatter Weapon or N2 mine. Topics included its tactical use in conventional warfare. We also covered how it could be used in Angel warfare as a first strike option to confuse or delay the angels. All garbage.

I couldn't have cared less. They had no idea how useless those little pop toys were against the angels; it barely slowed down the 3rd. Hell, Zeruel had one shoved in his face and it didn't even scratch him. When I continuously argued against their practical use outside of area denial or suppression, I was chided by not only the CO, but the entire class for underestimating its destructive capacity. Just thinking about it now makes me roll my eyes.

I gave them a seven minute lecture about the theoretical physics that prevent it from being anything more than an expensive way to turn money into smoke and noise.

I was told to shut the fuck up, leave, or risk being demoted. None of those things bother me in the least, but I begrudgingly said my 'Sir, Yes Sir's' and faked annoyance. It seems like something I would have done at that age. And besides, I was right.

But the reason I'm writing this is that after I was released for the day I just sort of took off into the city with no real destination, after about 40 minutes had passed I came across a music shop. As I walked around, I passed several instruments that just leaped off the shelf to me, cellos, violins, violas. They drug up old memories of Shinji just sitting in the living room and practicing until early in the morning, writing new pieces for me, for his classes, for public performances. To this day I can't recall a time other than when he was playing with the kids that I ever saw him as happy as he was when he was creating or playing music.

I think before I get shipped off to Japan I'll call Rei and ask her if he has his old instrument collection back. I bet he will flip if I show up with all kinds of goodies for him. Ah, his music collection! I just thought of that, jeeze. He had over a terabyte of stuff on our old computer. Hm, I wonder what I can do about that.

It's not like I have any use for this money yet anyways, well other than clothes. It's no fun to shop alone, so it's just sitting in the bank unloved and forgotten. The look on his face when I dump a suitcase full of music all across his room will be priceless.

I know that this entry is different from the others, but I've promised myself that I would stay upbeat about this whole situation. It's too easy to get all mopey if I dwell on things. So I'm staying positive and trying to head myself off at the pass. I've been down the dark road before and I won't let it happen again. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. I won't lie and say it's easy, or that I will be totally successful but as with all things I will succeed.

Unfortunately I think I may be getting sick. I keep having hot and cold flashes, dizzy spells as well. But I don't have a fever, cramps or nausea so I loaded up with all kinds of meds and I'm hitting the sack.

_September 21__st_

He's here. The grey one, I saw him in the prinbrow box today during my synchronization drills. I'll be honest and say I freaked the fuck out. No one had any idea what I was talking about when I called out his name, they were all perplexed, except the commander. He had a momentary look of fear on his face. He knew.

But even as that fairy smiled at the anarchy that erupted around him, he just turned and walked out of my sight. No one in that packed room could see him but me. I had them check the surveillance and he still didn't show up. I'm sure you can see where all this is going. I was taken off of active duty and have a full psyche evaluation tomorrow at 0700 hours. Now that turn of events is more than enough to put me on edge, but more to the point he looked straight at me, he looked through the Eva right into my eyes, I know it. He mouthed something, but of course I couldn't tell what it was.

I have no idea why it would have returned with the rest of us. Shinji let me know that only the three of us, had any recollection of our past. If that thing has then why doesn't Touji? They had nearly the same amount of seat time.

There are so many jumbled thoughts in my head right now. I'm pacing around the room between the stuff I get on page. Out of all possible scenarios I had played out before hand this definitely wasn't one of them. What I know now though, is that I'm going to be keeping my eyes peeled for sure.

If it was a onetime deal I may have to accept it as some sort of…I don't know, I don't want to say vision or some PTSD garbage. Up until today I think I had been handling what was a very tenuous state of affairs, quite adeptly. I was controlling my head space, staying positive and optimistic and been channeling my frustration and anger into positive activates. All in all I felt rather OK with the status quo. Yeah, I wished some things were different, but they are out of my control. So for now I will do what I do, hone my skills and excel in the classroom.

When I pass the shrink's test tomorrow I'm not sure what that's going to do the higher-ups heads. I'm still head of the class in my scores and ratio. They can't afford to take me off active duty for long.

I know I'm fine, it wasn't a hallucination. I know they are going to try and link the pressure of my job, the situation with Shinji, me being sick and this together. It's what they are paid to do; they create a problem to justify their paycheck. As I sat here before I started writing, I tried to look up what I could possibly have that could make me see things. Do I think he was really there. Yes, but I have to cover all my bases. From what I could gather I'd have to be a lot worse off than I am to see something like that. Symptoms did change today though, I've started to get joint stiffness and muscle pain. The old symptoms are gone but they just got traded in for these.

I can't find a rhyme or reason to the severity either, laying in bed doesn't help and neither does medication. But as I go through the day it just seems to get better and worse at random.

I'm not sure how I'm going to sleep tonight, I want to call Shinji, to talk to him about this, discuss what might be happening. Between the two of us I'm sure we could come up with an explanation, or at the very least some sort of game plan. But he's still just lucky to be surviving from day to day.

I haven't felt this isolated in a very long time.

_September 23__rd_

He's everywhere now. I saw him four times yesterday. It was always when he was rounding a corner, I would run to catch up but as I turned the corner he was of course gone.

Today I heard him speaking with a few other people, I couldn't even remember what he sounded like, or if I had ever heard him speak at all. But I knew it was his voice. When I found the group, he wasn't there again. Yeah, that garnered me a few odd looks. In fact the rumor mill had already kicked into high gear. When I get near people now they get quite and try to act like they aren't staring, but they are. As I walk away I can hear them whisper to each other. Not just my classmates but the techs, officers, and even the janitors.

Fucking big mouthed children.

The icing was when I was in the bathroom after dinner. I was washing my face[,] and when I came up I saw it in the mirror. It was picking something out from under its fingernails. It said 'boom' to himself and when I turned around to snap its little neck, yet again…nothing.

But it did give something away. Until that point in the day I had felt just fine, but as soon as it left I got a pounding migraine and extremely nauseous. It's the one who's making me sick, but it's never bad enough to send me to the hospital, it's just annoying. If it wanted to debilitate me why didn't he just do it? I can't figure out what this accomplishes, perhaps it's using the sickness to distract me from whatever it's doing.

Four times yesterday, seven today, if they would let me I'd start carrying a side arm, but since they all think I'm nuttier than squirrel turds, so that's not happening. But even with its distractions I've figured it all out. It's trying to wear me down mentally, they could never beat me in combat so now they are trying to go after my mind. It worked once so why not again, right? But they have no idea who they're messing with, I'm on to them. They want to play parlor games? OK, go for it. I'll be here biding my time.

When they think they have broken me and come for real, we'll be picking up what's left of him with a sponge.

_October 1__st_

Haven't seen him or felt bad in a week. I'm sure it's just another ploy of his. It's not getting to me, but it is tricking the brass. I think he may have one of them in his pocket, or hell, he could be tricking them. A wolf in sheep's clothing sort of deal. It's an angel. Who knows what it's capable of? I don't even know why I started calling it 'he'. It's a thing, not a person.

The point I'm trying to make is that the scrutiny I've been under has been intensifying. They tried to stick me with an "escort" today. More like some fucking lackey snitch. I vetoed the fuck out of that! I was surprised that they let me, but they relented after I made my case. Who knows what's next though?

Worst of all is that Kaji is avoiding me now. He won't answer my calls or emails. I've gone to his place looking for him, but he won't ever answer his door.

Prick.

_October 4__th_

It started to rear its head again, but this time it's not even trying to escape me. It's as if it wants me to see it, to lunge at it, to yell at it. It knows that only I can see it and that people are around, it wants me to slip up, get me locked up in some psyche ward and away from my unit.

But I've started to return its smug fucking smirks and smiles. Yesterday at lunch I mouthed to it that I'm onto its game. It said 'good' and then as someone passed between us, it disappeared . . . just like it was in some old Hitchcock film.

The sheer amount of times I've been seeing it had started to worry me though. Not to mention that now when he goes he leave me feeling drained, as if I had just finished a really long workout. I can work through pain, but this concerned me enough that I started to try and figure something out. It was never in the same places anymore. So I got out a map and did my best to timestamp his appearances. Took me a few hours, but right before I starting writing I think I narrowed it down, as time goes by it's getting close and closer to the cages.

To Unit Two, to Mother.

I don't know if it does have any memories anymore. Because if it did, then why would it be following the same tactics and pattern from last time? It can't possibly think I'm so stupid that I wouldn't expect that. So unless it's playing some game straight out of the Princess Bride I don't think it's trying to psych me out. Even though I'm still off the active duty roster, I'm still allowed in the cages. So I'm going to wait there for it, if it thinks that making me sleepy will save it's ass, it's got another thing coming.

AT field or not, I won't let him touch Mother again, I'd rather die.

_October 6__th_

I turned my findings in to command today. They gave me the old 'We'll take that into consideration, Pilot' routine. I wasn't sure at first if I should or not, it was just as likely to validate me when it finally made its move, as it was likely to land me in the padded rooms.

But it was a chance I had to take. Besides, tomorrow they're waking Shinji up, I know I may not be in the best shape to talk, but it's important. He'll understand, he always does.

Since I've been spending most my time in the cages for two days, I haven't seen it. But if it keeps the same pattern it's slowly working its way here. I see it and I'm jumping in Unit 02 before it can get its grubby hands on her. They will have to let me in when they see a floating grey freak talking to a giant armor wearing angel clone. If we're not all dead already that is, and then again if we are? Well I guess none of this will really matter.

October 7th

As Asuka awoke she felt a presence, it was like some cold wet weight lying across her chest. It wasn't affecting her breathing, but it was an ever present condition, as disconcerting as that was she of course chalked it up to Tabris being near.

After she was sure that she was alone in her dorm, she noticed that the feeling had become a bit warmer. Donning her plug suit she once again made her way to the cages. Today she decided to bring a book with her. She had made her way through all the magazines and manga she had in her possession, so choosing a novel was the natural progression. She had chosen Clavells's Shogun, one of her favorite books. Why she had grabbed that one by instinct was of no real consequence to her, there were more pressing issues on her mind. It was still too early in Japan for her to call Shinji.

If there was one thing Asuka hated, it was waiting. But she really didn't have a choice, besides the pay off later would be immense. There was a bit of a bounce in her step and a smile on her face, the first of either in a good long time. As she was about half way to the cages it happened.

The ever present feeling on her chest suddenly dissipated. It happened so suddenly it caused her to pause and look around, she had almost gotten used to it by this point and it no longer bothered her as the ill omen or portent she had initially identified it as.

Then the buzzing started, at first almost inaudible, but it grew. As it became louder and louder she noticed that yet again she was the only one afflicted. She was stumbling towards the cages now, the sound was so bad it was affecting her equilibrium. The people that passed her in the halls began to notice and tried to help her, but she couldn't even hear herself over the sound.

It was becoming deafening, she wanted to ram a railroad spike into her cranium, anything to get the noise to stop. She felt her ears, expecting to pull back a bloodied hand. But the feeling left abruptly, along with the noise. She dropped the book to the ground and pushed all of the gawkers and good Samaritans to the side and took off like a bullet towards the cages.

She made it to the last security gate before the cages and was swiping her ID card when the door shuddered and then bulged towards her as if hit by a massive force. Then the explosions started.

The world shook and arid bursts of air came from the gaps in what had been an eight inch thick carbon steel door. She could hear screams all around; some of them were barked orders and others were from the dying. You could tell from the sound and direction where the shit was hitting the fan.

Command, mess hall, infirmary, classrooms, motor pool.

Nothing from the cages, so what happened to the door?

"Tabris," Asuka spoke, her voice like gravel, through teeth grit in anger.

Her mind fell into auto pilot, deciphering what the fastest and safest route to the cages would be now. She hadn't been resting on her laurels while in the cages. Contingency plans were something she had in spades. She wasn't sure what she would do in the cages with no support from command, but that was a problem to face once she got there.

One would think that an attack seeming based on panic and disrupting logistics to prevent any sort of organized resistance would be fast and lethal. But the entire time she wormed through auxiliary maintenance shafts, ventilation, and an abandoned elevator shaft, more explosions came from all around.

The thing that surprised Asuka most was that if Tabris was capable of all this, then why not just kill her outright? Why go through such lengths to try and torture her. What was the point of such obtuse tactics? Had the angel made it some sort of personal vendetta?

As she finally pried open a damaged hatch and forced her way into the cages, she saw Unit 02, still safe and sound. Taking off at a pace she didn't think she was capable Asuka bound up the gangplank, up to the external control panel on her Eva. Hitting the combination, long ago ingrained into her memory, the entry plug ejected and she stood at its threshold. Taking a quick but deep breath she turned her gaze back and up to the Pribnow box, hoping for the best.

She was just in time to witness the head tech, whether his name was Kyosuke or Kyon she couldn't remember, explode into a red mist that painted the entirety of the glass divider a somber red. A corpse was then thrown through said divider, quite a feat given that Asuka knew it was designed to withstand blows from the Eva. That poor soul ended up as meatball sized chunks that rained down into the LCL.

Out of the box floated Tabris, all smiles and looking decidedly older now. He still wore that same old outfit of his and was absolutely spotless, wielding some sort of copy of the lance of Longinus. He waved down to Asuka as if greeting an old friend and as he did so Unit 02's entry plug reinserted itself, pilotless. After shock, very little went through Asuka's head, why bother really? She was about to die after all.

As Tabris neared the walkway up to Asuka's Eva, the LCL started to heat up and steam began rising from its surface. By the time he landed and began the short trip to the red head's side the LCL was in full boil. Finding it hard to breath, Asuka none the less would not go quietly into the dark night.

Putting on her best war face she hopped down to the walkway and began walking with a purpose, her steps heavy and full of spite for the massive rooms co-occupant. She was sweating buckets in her plug suit, but kept up the brave and fearless visage as she stood not a foot from her killer.

"So did it all go according to plan this time Tabris?" She said, finishing her statement with a blob of spit to his face just under the left eye. He wiped it away dismissively and gave Asuka the once over.

"I'm not only surprised that you know my true name, but that you seem to think that you know me. Tell me Lilim, how is it that you know of the Angel of Free Will?" His voice was as soft and effeminate as ever, but his facial structure was no longer androgynous, it was obviously masculine. In different circumstance he would have been quite attractive.

Asuka began to laugh in his face, a true gut busting laugh. Oh the irony of it all she thought to herself. He continued to take all of Asuka in, her laughter bringing another content smile to his face.

"You really don't remember do you? Any of it?" She tried to look him in the face again as she wiped away tears and sweet from her face and brow.

"Silly little Lilim, I know not how you could confuse me with anyone on this plane, but it matters very little at this point. Fear not, today is not your day, we still have grand plans for you." As he audibly tightened his grip on the lance and banged it onto the wire mesh beneath their feet. In an instant the LCL froze over, the cage became room temperature and the ocean beneath Asuka looked as hard as Bakelite.

Asuka turned her gaze back to Tabris just in time to see him moving from a bracing stance to plunge the lance right into her midsection. One prong piercing her womanhood the other right into her liver. He lifted her over his head and for a brief moment bathed in her blood, still looking as happy as a kid on Christmas morning, not a bit of anger apparent.

"Don't worry, you're not alone." Tabris spoke as she continued to spill gore all over him. "The Americans, they have also suffered for their arrogance." He smiled one last time as with little effort he tossed the lance, along with her, into the ceiling far above. As the impact came she strangely felt no pain, just a numbness.

The last thing she saw was Unit 02's eyes glow, and it spring to life, breaking free of its frozen bonds. Tabris merely waved his right arm in its direction, as he had already started to walk off, and then paid it no further attention as he exited through the outwardly bulged doors that had impeded Asuka not long ago.

Behind him the entire chest and head from about midway up what would have been the Eva's sternum, looked as if you had shot a man there with a .50 caliber anti tank rifle. The decapitated husk sat there, its arms having fallen limp and lifeless, unable to move in the now solid LCL. No movement, no fight, no life.

Asuka just stared at the scene below for a moment before the numbness turned to cold and then sleep. She never shed a tear.

Asuka awoke an indeterminate amount of time later under a set of steel stairs. She could smell blood and burning flesh in the air. Things were a bit hazy from the smoke in the air and breathing was hard due to the searing heat. Dozens of people, all injured and in various states of disarray ran past her. They shouted hurriedly in multiple languages and ignored her as she sat there dumbfounded over recent events.

She crawled out from under the stairs and was promptly bowled over by a woman she had never seen before. She was in some sort of Hazmat suit and hardly paid the pilot any attention as she regained her footing and took off like a rocket. Asuka found herself no longer wearing her plugsuit but rather her regulation NERV uniform. As she stood for the first time, she began to choke from the acrid air.

Hunching over she began to flee randomly, she had no idea where she was or where everyone else was trying to get to. In the chaos everything was jumbled. She found that her hearing came and went, and the world seemed to leave after images as she stumbled from wall to wall, hallway to hallway. She could still feel explosions rocking the building, or were they earthquakes?

As her energy gave out she entered the nearest door she could find and shut it tightly behind her. Propping herself against the door frame she began to shake, it was all too much, too fast. In the darkness her senses returned and she could finally focus, her first goal was to check for injuries. Taking off her shirt and feeling blindly in the dark she felt nothing, obviously the lower of her injuries would need to be checked on in private but for the time being she felt fine physically.

She remembered what Tabris had done, so how?

As she pulled her shirt back on it struck her, the weight on her side, her phone. Taking it out she ran down her contact list to Shinji's name and hit send. It rang once with no answer , making her fear that he was still in his coma, she had forgotten to check what time it was before she dialed. During the second ring someone picked up.

Rei.

Asuka tried to speak as calmly as she could, but all that came out were rushed and jumbled words. She kept tripping over herself and her voice was at least an octave higher. It took Rei a few moments to realize who she was talking to.

"Asuka?"

AN: Pre-readers are new this time, everyone give praise to Fanf1cFan

I think that Disturbed's version of this song is vastly superior but the original genesis video is far better so pick your poison.

Get the pics at the usual place, just one this time and it's an adult Kaworu.


	9. Love?

LOVE?

There's no external way to tell when a woman is ready to receive

LOVE... is a way of feeling  
LOVE is a way of feeling less alone  
So what's all the fuss about?

FUCK IT

LOVE: the paradox of needing  
OH LOVE,  
MAKE WAY FOR BREEDING

GIVE IT TO ME! GIVE IT TO ME!  
OH WHAT A FEELING!  
OH WHAT A FEEDING!

I'll wait for the night to come  
For I'm not the man you know...  
This love, IS ABOUT CONTROL

ALL IN THE NAME OF LOVE

_October 21st 2015_

_A public statement by one Lt. Shinji Ikari_

_On October seventh, simultaneous strikes against NERV branch 2 and 3 in Roswell, New Mexico in the United States of America and Berlin, Germany respectively, lead to a great loss of life, experience, and equipment in our fight against the Angels._

_NERV branch 2 was completely destroyed with the total loss of all 12,000 of its personal and Eva unit 04. Subversive forces serving the angels gained access to the facility and caused an accident that resulted in the loss of all human life in an 89 Kilometer radius. The losses in Germany are still being tabulated. But the cost in training, expertise, and resources may prove to be incalculable. _

_Reports vary, but we have evidence that somehow one of the more prominent pro angel cults seem to have inserted agents into NERV's predecessor organization Gehirn as sleepers for a number of years. This indicates that they have access to very high level information. Rest assured that NERV's internal security force, has several leads, and we expect the capture of the individuals responsible shortly._

_Citizens of the world, we thank you for the outpouring of public support for our cause and the personal grief that each of us who lost a colleague, friend, or loved one in these tragedies. But rest assured, myself and the rest of the pilots, command and support staff at NERV branch 1 will continue to fight for all of you and for our species continued existence._

_In these dark times it's important to never lose faith. Now more than ever we need you behind us__. __Thank you all for your time._

Fraudulent information disseminated to every world government as part of the Public Transparency Act of 2011.

After nine more days in the hospital Shinji was released on October 16th. Two days later he began rehab for all of the muscle loss and atrophy he suffered while incapacitated. The rehab was painful and it took him many weeks to regain what he had lost. Shinji considered himself lucky that the time span was easily measured in weeks and not months.

The attacks on NERV 2 and 3 sent shockwaves throughout the hierarchy of the organization. From that day forward things changed a great deal for all people involved. It was not until the end of November that Shinji was given permission to make a call to Asuka and speak with her. When he did so he had learned that she had been transferred to NERV 5 in Hamburg as had all of Berlin's remaining staff and equipment.

She found the change in atmosphere to be even more stifling than Shinji did. Shinji also noticed in their numerous talks around this time that much had changed since he had last spoken to her, but we'll get to that later.

On October 24th, Shinji was allowed to return to his classes, in a limited manner. It was there that he learned of some very disconcerting news. It was Mayumi Yamagishi who had attacked the American base. She had literally disappeared while in CQC training with Lt Ernst. Her disappearance had truly been a sight to behold. It was as if, someone had just flipped a switch. She stood rod straight and with a large smile, starting with her skin, her major bodily systems one by one became invisible. She showed no discomfort in this process as her skin, then internal organs, followed by her skeleton, and finally brain and nervous system simply disappeared.

The fact that he learned this from his classmates and not in some debriefing had bothered him. They had all been debriefed formally, how had he been left out of the loop?

Shinji was told that just moments later she was recorded in a live feed that went back to the central Magi in Japan, appearing in the same fashion, but in reverse, in front of Unit 04 in America. She opened her mouth and light poured from every orifice in her body. The sound she gave off was ultra sonic and shattered all the glass present including the camera recording her. Then everything went white and the base's fate was sealed.

While Shinji had been gone, by Touji and Kensuke's testimony, each member of the class had missed a day of lessons in alphabetical order to go into Central Dogma for a round of tests they were told nothing about, as well as a verbal evaluation. Ken and Hikari said that it had made them feel like cattle. Touji seemed to have had a different experience but no one was allowed to talk about what their time had been like. Orders from higher up, and a good soldier always obeys orders.

Mana said that she felt as if she was being watched more than ever, either that or Section Two was going out of their way to be more visible. Just to remind us that they were ever present, always vigilant. Rei said she had no such troubles, but wouldn't tell even Shinji what she had meant by that.

By the end of the month Shinji had begun to suspect Mana, as neither he nor Rei remembered her from his previous life. He told Rei that something in his bones said that she wasn't to be trusted, and began keeping an eye on the mystery girl.

Rei called him a fogey for mentioning his bones. He made a joke about having to walk to school uphill both ways in 23 feet of snow with bear traps and land minds just to get to the laundry room in his house and how today's kids had no idea how hard it was back in the day.

Rei wondered how he had started out talking about school and then changed it to laundry, questioning him about his Alzheimer's condition. He said that he always knew he hated her for a reason and promptly shut his yapper, Rei was literally tickled pink.

November 12th 2015, Saturday

In a park in the upper city proper Shinji, Rei, and Pen Pen sat enjoying a very rare day above ground. It was all the more rare after the happenings in Germany and the US. They had been granted permission only because they were to be accompanied by Misato. She was of course late, as always, but that was fine with Shinji. As they sat in the sun Rei was reading a book, a fantasy piece that had piqued her fancy the last time they had been above ground, those many weeks ago.

As our hero held his penguin companion, he spoke for the first time in almost ten minutes. "That dress looks nice on you Ms. Ayanami. I don't remember it."

She was wearing a light pink sundress over an orange camisole, she was topped off with an old school wide brimmed white gardeners hat. Shinji was far more plainly dressed with a light blue polo and blue jean shorts, yet again he looked ridiculous. Rei would have to work on that with him.

"I picked it up on my trip with Hikari." Came her reply not once taking her eyes off of her book. She missed Shinji oddly blushing from his own words. It was several minutes before Rei put her book down to address her oldest friend.

"So how are your sessions going?" She asked as she lay back, using her hat to protect her eyes from the sun beating down.

"To be honest, I have no idea, Blue. The first thing they do when I get there is give me an injection to put me out. I'm out the entire time every time." Though the topic was serious, both parties knew he hated to discuss it. So as he played with Pen Pen while he answered, his voice obviously distracted.

"That doesn't bother you any?" The pilot of Unit 00 asked as she tilted up her hats rim so she could look at Shinji, ignoring his use of that most annoying nickname.

"Yeah it does, but what am I going to do about it? I mean really." He spoke to Pen Pen and got what could be thought of as a shrug of his shoulders as Pen Pen then turned and made a bee line for the bottom of the hill. Shinji did not give chase, having learned long ago that the warm water construct could fend for itself quite well.

Letting her hat fall back, Rei continued on. "Well, all things considered you seem to be in pretty high spirits. I mean no word from Asuka, both of our injuries, the rampart loss of life, betrayal in our own ranks, greater scrutiny. The old you would have folded like a wet paper cup." Her voice held no inherent emotion, but as she spoke the words their truthfulness became apparent. She hadn't even noticed it until she said it aloud.

"Well, I'm not the man I once was Ayanami. I would like to hope that after all these years I'd grown some sort of back bone. Whether forced upon me by Asuka or not, it doesn't matter. In the end it's good for everyone that I've changed." Shinji turned now to face Rei and scooted a bit closer to her so their conversation would be less likely to be overheard.

"Well it hasn't been all shitting sunshine and cumming rainbows," he said. It garnered a snicker from Rei and subsequently from himself. "My nightmares have been increasing in frequency lately, and before you ask, yes even more than before. I talked to Misato about them and she told me she would look into it and see if she could get me something. I couldn't tell her what the dreams were about but she still jumped right up to help me. Makoto is a lucky guy, she's very attentive and caring."

This caused the alabaster-skined pilot to sit up rather rapidly. "Do what now?" She was very confused by what Shinji has just espoused.

"You didn't know? It's just like with Ritsuko and Maya, so obvious now, but I never noticed it for some reason when I was younger." Shinji's matter-of-fact delivery hid his surprise that Rei didn't know all about it.

"But what about Kaji? Wasn't he the love of Misato's life?" The incredulous look that was plastered across her features made Shinji smile.

"The more I look back on Kaji and Makoto, I got to say that she's way better off in a lot of ways if she's with Makoto. I know she's been sleeping with him since I got out of the hospital at least, not sure how long really, but at least she is with him now. Misato is pretty loud and not very good at hiding the fact that he's there. But I don't care, good for him, if I was his age I'd be all over her too." He smiled as he stared off into the distance.

"Shinji! You're a pervert, she's like a mother to you." The gambit of emotion that Shinji was eliciting from Rei today made him really happy, and in a way proud. It spoke volumes about how much she had changed as time went on.

"I want to be referred to from now on as Oedipus. But anyway she seems really happy, even more so than her usual perky facade. Who knows, maybe its genuine now." He gave a big grin as he took one bonnet to the face, courtesy of Rei.

"Ugh, you're such a guy. I swear, a big rack or a nice butt and your brains shut off or go to caveman mode. I expected better of you than that, Mr. Ikari, I really did." She extended her hand to receive back her hat as she rolled her eyes. Once it was in hand Shinji spoke again.

"You do understand that in your twenties you were more attractive than she is right?" He took another shot to the face but didn't care. "I'm serious, I know her size and you had fuller, more resilient breasts and a nicer ass, same athletic build elsewhere though."

Rei sat there scarlet as the letter A and speechless.

"Oh grow up Rei, were both adults. Stop getting so flustered over the past, jeeze. And you say I'm childish." His words were haughty, but his face was all shit eating grin. He laid down now, parallel to Rei but in the opposite direction. It was five minutes before she gathered enough composure to lie down as well. Silence enveloped them for the better part of an hour.

As Rei awoke from an impromptu nap, she saw Shinji sitting to her right, hugging Pen Pen to his chest as he squawked to what appeared, at least to Rei, to some sort of song that was playing in his head.

For his part Shinji seemed to be humming along and reading her book. As she squirmed and rolled on her side to face him he slowly closed the book as he finished the sentence he was on.

"This is pretty good Rei, I see your tastes are as impeccable as ever." He placed the book on the swell of her hip and let the pet go run back off again. Shinji always joked that Pen Pen was like a kid with ADHD, he seemed true to form today. Shinji turned away from Rei and retrieved her bonnet, whose rim he was currently sitting on. "Here you go, the wind picked up a bit while you were out and so I had to chase this down. Pen Pen is the one who found it, be sure to thank him later on." He gave a warm grin the seemed to light up his face.

Rei loved his smile.

"Since you came out of your coma, something has been different about you. I can't put my finger on it, but it's definitely there, like it's hiding just beneath your skin." She looked him over as she spoke as if searching for an out of place thread or spot. Her voice was airy and light as if distracted.

"I feel different, better somehow. Like everyday I'm getting my strength back, gaining the strength I had when I was in my twenties. I think Bren is a miracle worker. Of course I've got bruises in places I didn't know I had places, but I deal. I do think that guy likes beating up children though. Maybe we should report him." Each of the words in his last sentence was spoken with mirth.

"How is beating you up rehab?" Rei arched her right eyebrow as she questioned Shinji.

"It's not just that, ah…it's hard to explain, there is normal rehab type stuff. Exercises in the pool, stretches all that sort of thing. But for him that's just a warm up, he has me at the punching bag, doing boxing routines, all kinds of stuff. As long as I get a good warm up I can usually keep up with him. Guy knows what he's doing, that's all I can really vouch for."

"Well as long as you're happy with how things are going who am I to judge?" She sat up after taking her book of its perch and gazed at it a moment before tossing it aside.

The pair sat staring off into the distance for a moment as a light breeze kissed at their back. Weather wise the day couldn't have gotten much better. "Where is Misato?" Rei asked breaking their reverie.

"She called about 15 minutes after you passed out," Shinji reached into his pocket and flipped open his phone to check the time. Should be here in about 30 or so . . . .Said she got caught up with some paperwork, but really, who knows? She could be playing super spy, playing with Makoto, getting her afternoon buzz, your guess is as good as mine."

"Your confidence in her is astounding." The young woman said facetiously.

"I love that woman to death, but she's different than before in quite a few ways. I'd rather have a different Misato than none at all though. You have to grab onto the things that are important to you. The way it ended before," Shinji trailed off for a moment as he scratched his chest. "Well, it was unsatisfactory to say the least. Besides if we do this right she has a long time to work through all of her problems. Pfft she's a lot better off than I was at her age, I'll tell you that."

"I guess patience comes with age." Was Rei's addition to his monologue.

"Unless you're German." Shinji quipped.

"I'll drink to that." The porcelain figure retorted before they both fell into a short bout of laughter.

As they came down from their shared light-hearted moment Rei got serious again. "Speaking about mother figures there was something I wanted to talk to you about."

"And that is?" Shinji turned to face Rei so that they were now perpendicular upon that green hill as they took in the clear blue sky.

"Every time we've seen combat you told me you heard your mother's voice in the EVA. I'm an angel and I've never heard even a whisper. I wanted you to tell me about what you hear, how it sounds exactly, anything you can give me." Rei's tone never changed as she began her interrogation and that fact was very evident by the look of terror on Shinji's face.

He started to reach out to Rei to cover her mouth as he looked around in some sort of half-ass suppressed frantic manner. His arm was easily intercepted and he was lightly pushed back on his keister. "Don't worry about that. No one can hear what were saying, mechanically or otherwise and no one is close enough to read our lips. Trust me, you know not to question me on things like this."

He opened his mouth to do so but realized he shouldn't bother. If she said something was a certain way he had learned not to question things. Chalk it up to an expanded consciousness or whatever; he didn't pretend to know the how, or boundaries, of Rei's gifts.

Shinji explained the two conversations he's had with his mother and what she sounded like to him. Rei never interjected, merely sitting there and absorbing everything thrown her way. As his recollection wound down Shinji could tell that she had already started to formulate her response, but was kindly waiting for her turn.

"Lilith's presence is far more potent now than ever before, and the more time I spend in the cockpit the more I can feel her, even when I'm just sitting around with you. I'm not sure what that signifies, but if it's some proof of a greater connection between us, I would presume that out of anyone, it would be me in your position. I've communicated with an Angel in the past, but never with the Eva itself. I'm not really sure what to tell you about this other than to inquire further." Rei placed her hands in her lap and looked at Shinji as if trying to read his mind by simply gazing upon him.

"I take it you haven't told anyone like the Doctor or your father, right?"

He nodded in response and she continued on almost uninterrupted.

"Have you spoken to Asuka or Misato about this?"

He shook his head no this time and kept his gaze locked with hers, her posture and actions betrayed the seriousness of her questions.

"So just me?"

He grunted an affirmation.

"I think it would be best for us to keep it that way for the time being. Next time we see combat I will actively try to establish contact before we launch, OK?"

Shinji gave a half-assed "yeah" and stared at the ground between his legs.

"What's wrong, Shinji?" Emotion returned to her voice in the form of worry as she leaned over to try and get a better look at Shinji's face.

"To me it sounds as if you think I'm imagining things. Your lack of faith in me is unwarranted, Ayanami." He kept his gaze down, but he didn't sound upset.

"Hey now, don't be like that. I wasn't insinuating anything. I'll just look into it and tell you what I can figure out. I just don't want you to tell anyone because I don't think they would be as understanding as I am. Don't twist this around, Shinji. I'm trying to help you," annoyance crept ever so slightly into her voice as she defended herself. "There is no reason for you to get defensive with me, you know. I only have your best interests at heart."

As he raised his head to protest, the wind changed and he caught the sound of approaching footsteps. Pen Pen burst out from the bushes behind Shinji's left shoulder and ran giving off his trademark 'wark' as he made his way back up the hill. Shinji had never noticed he had left. Closely behind him came Misato, finally, late but better than not at all, right?

The day passed from then on pleasantly and a good time was had by all, real Hallmark level stuff. The kind of thing that would seem cheesy to an outsider, but for the pilots and their CO it was just what the doctor ordered. Misato even managed not to try and insinuate that a relationship existed between the two pilots, a true feat for her.

November 18th 2015, Friday Evening

"Thanks for inviting us all over Ikari but really, what's with the lame music?" Kensuke Aida asked as he sat playing Dynasty Warriors 17 on his PS4.

"Yeah man, I'm with Nobunaga over here, you really need to learn about something called taste." Seven seconds later Ken would kill Touji, Touji would then proceed to kill Ken in real life and so their input never went any further than that.

Ken and Touji were facing southeast in the living room, in front of the TV. Rei and Hikari were in a love seat against the south wall of the living room. Shinji sat in the northeast corner of the room with his back to the glass sliding door that goes to the veranda. The three groupies were in a semi circle in front of him. Keita Asori and Lee Strasburg were both in the kitchen making themselves a snack.

"Don't listen to them 'Lt. Ikari'." Said one Satsuki Ooi, the Lt. part an obvious joke. But it served its purpose and got a chuckle out of the rest of her flock. Her, Kaede Agano and Aoi Mogami always stuck together. They had been friends since childhood. The loss of their parents had cemented their relationship into a very strong bond. It was to their collective happiness that all three were selected as level one pilot candidates for Nerv.

Rei disliked them, Asuka would have absolutely despised them to the very core of her being. They were all very obviously fawning all over Shinji. To his credit he was handling it well, trying to entertain them while never showing any interest in them. In fact they were making him feel like a pedophile for even putting up with it, but he was not a rude man by nature so he championed on and kept playing.

Ooi, had hair that reached to her mid-back and was such a light shade of brown is was nearly a dirty blonde. She had an average build for a Japanese girl and an accommodating, selfless personality. Kaede was the shortest of the bunch with a slight frame, brown hair and short boyish haircut. She was a worry wart and a bit overbearing in a motherly sort of way. Aoi was the tallest of the group, she wore squarish glasses with a red frame. Her hair was shoulder length and black, being tall and lanky she was an excellent basketball player. So good was she that she rarely played anymore because none of the girls would dare challenge her. But in spite of this she was a very humble and quite person.

"I couldn't find a violin, so I picked up this viola instead. I can play all three of them." he said motioning over to his prized cello as he spoke "But this will have to do until the war is over and I can move to a bigger city." He then put the instrument into position and started play an excerpt from Antonín Dvořák's Humoresque Op. 101 No. 7. After that was done he Picked up the cello to play Gabriel Fauré's Élégie pour violoncelle et orchestre, Op. 24. They had no idea what any of them were but it didn't stop their excessive smiling and puppy dog eyes.

"He is so talented." Hikari said to Rei as they sat looking at one of Shinji's sketch books.

"You mean the music or the pictures?" Rei inquired.

"Well I was talking about the song, but really I guess it applies to both huh?" Hikari's question was obviously rhetorical.

"While true, I've noticed that he's diving more into his artistic endeavors so that he doesn't have to talk to people. He can use it as an excuse to be alone." Her face and words were disapproving as if she were sad or disappointed in him.

"But didn't you say this was all his idea?" Hikari asked as she gave a short look over the crowd gathered around Shinji as he played on with his eyes closed, lost to the world around him.

"Yes it was, making the two disparate actions very confusing." Rei turned back to the book that the two were sifting through while sitting on the love seat in the living room. The room had been rearranged for the event moving all the furniture to the walls so as to give a more open space in the living room.

By this time Ken was dead and Touji had fetched himself a beer from the fridge. Misato had gone to Hyuga's for the night, Shinji and Rei knew that's where she went but she hadn't actually told them that. She gave them full run of the house and fridge, never put it past Misato to encourage underage drinking.

Touji motioned to Shinji in one of his rare open eyed moments and he gave a shake for no thank you as Touji sat down and proceeded to get drunk. It took him two beers.

Ken would draw on his face later that night after he passed out in retaliation for the beating. Everyone laughed. It would earn him two more beatings.

"I can't believe how talented he is." Hikari once again exclaimed as she turned another page in Shinji's book. "This Asuka is one lucky girl don't you think?" It was a shot at Rei yes, but she knew it was designed to get her goat so she let it pass with a 'pfft' noise.

A highly stylized, almost noir, picture of Gendo, on the next page Yui drawn as if she were sitting in a fake room for a family photograph at a cheap photographer. Followed by Misato turning to look over her shoulder, then Unit 01 roaring and a disheveled Rei with angel wings sitting in some random corridor of NERV. "He's never had classes so how does he do it?" Hikari seemed honestly confused by him. "He has the soul of a poet, but he's a soldier."

"Some people just have natural gifts. Shinji pilots because he has to, not because he wants to. His heart lies here, on the page," Rei says as she took the book from Hikari and closed it, turning her gaze to Shinji. Hikari did the same. "And there, with an instrument in his arms. Once this is all over he will move on to greater things than you or I." Hikari smiled widely, unintentionally mimicking the sycophants that gathered at Shinji's feet.

It took Rei snapping her fingers in front of her face to make her come back to reality. "If I didn't know you were head over heels for Suzuhara I'd say you were after Shinji as well." Rei's predatory grin was pure Asuka. Hikari spent more than a minute stammering a rebuttal of the accusation and then the obvious question of how did she know. Children are so easy to read.

After they had worked past that little hurdle, Hikari had been coerced into playing a few rounds of Street Fighter 6 by Kensuke so that he would be able to pick on another one of his friends. Hikari ended up a decidedly better sport about it. Trading out with Keita Asori, Kensuke went and followed Touji's lead, grabbing a beer from the fridge for himself and Lee Strasburg. As Lee began to drink, he took up residence beside Rei.

"You know the two of us have a lot in common." He didn't sound like he was trying to hit on her, but Rei's radar went off and she prepared herself for a horrible next few minutes. She found herself struggling not to rub the arch of her nose and sigh.

"I mean look at the room and who doesn't fit in? The albino and the German guy, and it's not just here, yeah the staff and officer corps are all pretty diverse, but look at the pilots. Seven Japanese, and us, hell really eight because you're one of them as well. Hasn't that ever bothered you at all, or is it just me?" In between most of his sentences he would take a quick swig of beer, he never really looked at Rei, just kept sweeping the room with his eyes. Perhaps he wasn't so bad after all.

"Actually I have not. I actually find that a bit surprising to be honest. I know the rest of the NERV branches are pretty heterogeneous. I wonder why ours is not?" The blue haired woman was actually caught off guard by this relatively simple observation. Not just in this room but in the entirety of their class, Lee was the only non Japanese pilot. Her thoughts were interrupted by Lee.

"I mean, I know you might not want to consider that ogre one of your people," he motioned with his head to Touji who was passed out and getting a penis drawn on his left cheek at this moment. "But the fact remains he's your ilk." This actually got a stifled laugh out of Rei.

"I'm glad you finally came out of your shell Rei. Don't let what other people think or say about you get to ya. I know that Shinji and Hikari think the world of you and the stooges over there are coming around as well. All it took was them getting to know you a bit better. Hell, pretty soon I bet you're gunna have to start beating people off with a stick." He still never made eye contact with Rei and spoke as if he was the 54 year old of the conversation.

Downing the last of his beer and going for another one he rattled it to ask her if she wanted one. She surprised them both by saying yes, they spent the rest of the night conversing and slowly depleting Misato's reserves.

After the last of their guests took their leave the next morning Rei and Shinji thought themselves lucky that a few neat freaks in the crowd had helped cleanup before the exodus. Rei was nursing a slight hangover and Shinji just hadn't slept well. As they sat on opposite ends of the couch no words were said for a good stretch. It was Shinji who finally broke the silence as Pen Pen braved the outside world for breakfast.

Rei had drug herself to her feet to take care of the task as Shinji asked her, "You know when Misato said she was going to get back? I don't remember anymore." Shinji's bloodshot eyes stared up at the ceiling as he wished that he could get a hold of some sleeping pills five minutes ago.

"I think she said about noon, so we have two hours till she graces us with her presence." Rei's voice echoed in the living room and Shinji wondered how she could stand it in her condition. But then again he wondered how she could get drunk at all. He couldn't seem to remember having ever seen her drunk, it seems that wonders never cease with her.

After her task was done she retook her seat and silence overtook them once again. It was not awkward, a necessity would have been the best way to describe it. After energy had been gathered up showers had been taken and Rei felt less like the undead, Shinji not so much.

"Hey Shin?" Rei turned on the couch to face him now, pulling her left leg under herself.

"What?" He had his eyes closed and was slouching deeply into the soft cushions.

"There was something I talked with Hikari about last night that I wanted to bring up to you." Shinji rolled his right hand at the wrist a few times as if to signify 'and that is…?'

"It had to do with you dealing with the stress of our job with avoidance of human contact. I know your getting along pretty well with the distraction that you get out of music and art but…" Rei was cut off by a very loud and over exaggerated sigh.

"Don't give me that mister, you know I'm right about this." Her tone became a bit harder at his flippant disregard for her opinion.

"What do you call the party we just had and the outing last weekend? I mean really, just lay off of this. I'm really not in the mood to defend myself against the one person who's on my side." He still had yet to look at Rei and his voice was as weak and tired as it had been all morning. He sounded as if it took a herculean effort to even get his mouth open.

"I think that you do those things so you can use them as examples of how you aren't acting like I think you are. You're not really enjoying them as much as you should be, it's just a show." Rei's harsh tone was obviously not sitting well with her compatriot. "I'm not even going to get started on this persona you've adopted when they're around. You are not a liar Shinji Ikari, don't become one now."

"I'm the savior of the god dam human race, can't I get a little break every now and again?" He finally gave Rei a look in the eyes and it wasn't a nice one in the least. Eat shit and die might be a nice equivalent.

"Oh and what am I, huh? Chopped liver or something? And don't give me that look, I'm concerned for you and you treat me like I'm the Morning." Rei contemplated getting up and leaving, but knew that it would be juvenile and not get Shinji the help she though me needed.

"I have more friends now than I ever had, better grades, Captain Wa loves me, my dad seems to respect me and my relationship with Misato is better than it ever was. Did I mention that my dad seems to not hate my fucking guts? That alone is a certifiable miracle, so don't give me that crap. This conversation is over." He did not raised his voice to Rei, he would never do that to her. But the point was very clear, drop it.

"But Shinji…" Her tone now was that of concern, it was soft and pleading.

"I think it's best if you left Rei. I'm tired and really need to get some sleep, I'll call you later or something, ok? You know where the door is." He then got to his feet and walked past her to go to his room. She didn't even hear him shut the door to his room.

As the black Eva was ripped limb from limb the laughter of children was heard.

"This is some serious bullshit! Six on one is no fair at all!" A clearly perturbed Touji Suzuhara sat in his entry plug grumpily, his arms crossed over his chest, heard turned to the side.

Hikari, in her Orange Eva, appeared on his com screen. "I'm sorry Touji, but you're third in Sync ratio so you were the obvious choice for us to take down first. I hope you're not mad or anything." Standing still in the middle of a free for all to try and appease the guy you have a crush on is the dumbest thing she could have done. She was promptly cut off via decapitation by one Kensuke Aida. As her Eva's body fell to the ground he swung the axe around one last time crushing the lower spine just to be sure.

Approximately one minute 27 seconds later Shinji broke Strasberg's spine with his bare hands, making a most unpleasant noise. "You really need to lean to feel your surroundings Lee. I wasn't even really trying hard to sneak up on you, but you just never turned around. You been sleeping in class these days?" Shinji's voice was filled with mirth at his seventh straight victory.

"I was watching my heads up display, you never even registered. How is that possible?" Lee was more flabbergasted than mad. Running his hands through his chestnut colored hair he felt some measure of accomplishment at being the guy who got second this round.

"It's based on seismic for this exercise, so I just moved very slowly and never took my foot very far off the ground. I didn't ever trip the threshold it has, so I was able to get behind you. Simple stuff really." At this point everyone's face came on to their screens in a Brady Bunch sort of set up.

"How did you know that?" Asked Aoi clearly astonished by how he had come up with that plan.

"Because while all of you were killing each other I was running around taking all the sensor towers out. Without the towers for visual and radar telemetry the default back up is an internal seismic sensor in every Eva. It's in the handbook if you people would actually read it." He couldn't wipe a smug, superior look off his face or tone out of his voice. It was pissing everyone off, his exact intention.

"Well at least you got second Lee, that's something to be proud of, right?" Rei said to him try to smooth over the situation.

"I wouldn't say that Rei, Notice how every round has a different person get second? Well until this time when he got it for the second time that is," everyone looked at each other trying to get some sort of answer from the crowd. "I killed you all in a different order each time so everyone got a chance to be second and no one's feeling would be hurt. I've just started the order over now." Collective jaws dropped and then faces contorted in thought to validate his statement.

"You're an ass Shinji." Was Rei's response. There was a second of silence and then uproarious laughter from everyone, Shinji included.

"Ah c'mon Rei you know you love me." He said smiling. It got lewd comments out of Ken and Touji and a blush from Rei which only further fueled the situation.

Shinji shut all of their windows from his com screen and hailed the prinbrow box. "Can we get a reload now please? In a different setting maybe? I think I got the urban setting down." He had gone back to business, but still wore a content look.

"I do believe I'm the one with all the dangelies on her uniform so I make the decisions Ikari." She shut his screen and turned to Aoba to give a command, but was interrupted.

"Dangelies? Real mature Misato, good way to assert your position of command." The faux blond doctor lit up a cigarette and turned from her station to face her friend.

"Let's drop all pretenses here Rits, this is just silly. He's wiping the floor with all of them, even Rei. We're keeping this going because they all seem to be having fun. The only learning going on here is what Shinji is telling them. I'm not sure if it's inadequate instruction, their being insubordinate, or maybe, just maybe they are all fourteen year olds and don't like listening to authority figures. Did you ever think that children would make decent soldiers? I mean really, that's stupid."

Misato was clearly exasperated by Ritsuko always looking over her shoulder second-guessing her, when she doesn't even know where the safety on her own gun is.

"I never tell her how to do her job, but for some reason it's ok for her to tell me how to do mine? My pleading to Commander Ikari go unanswered and ignored as if it was none of his concern. Surprising, since the pilots' success determines if he lives until the next sunrise." She thought to herself, reminding herself that Akagi was her friend. But Misato had no strength left to try and diffuse the situation. She just gave up on trying explaining herself to someone who had no idea what Misato's job actually entailed.

Makoto occasionally came to her defense and although it was very sweet of him, Ristuko had as little respect for him as she had for a lab rat.

Misato had quickly learned that the only real way to reach the other children was to teach Shinji and he would teach them. It was roundabout and very less than ideal, but it seemed to be working so far. She commanded Aoba to load up a mountain scenario and let them have a few rounds of that.

Shinji would finish the day 23 and 0.

November 22nd, 2015 Tuesday, noonish

"Hey wasn't Dr. Akagi's birthday yesterday?" Aoi's light wispy voice barely reaching the other pilots around her.

"Hm, I think so. The 21st sounds right to me." Answered the green suited Aida. Beside him walked Aoi in her light blue suit and behind them Lee in his grey one.

"Hey you guys ever wonder why Keita, Satsuki, and Kaede never come on these things with us?" Lee was still fidgeting with his A 10 connectors as he asked his question, throwing up his gaze every few paces so as not to run into a wall or other people.

"That's like asking why Hitomi, Daison or Renji never go. Touji told me that it's all about ranking. We are in the highest class so we train together. There are four rankings he said, even amongst the level one candidates." Aoi said as she briefly turned around to speak to Lee face to face.

"I think Hikari finally confessed to Touji this morning cause I saw them sucking face outside the rec center. I'm guessing they are going to be very late and appropriately punished." Kensuke's comment was very out of the blue and caught Lee and Aoi so off guard that Aoi almost tripped while walking backwards.

"Do what now?" Lee's tone was astonished that she finally got up the nerve to tell him.

Before anymore words could be traded the shit hit the fan.

Red lights, sirens, the whole shebang. You would think that WW3 had started and really, that's not too much of an exaduration.

Angel siren.

Rei and Shinji were in the mess hall, they had been exempt from this set of practice reps in the dummy plug. Misato wanted to take a bit more hands on approach today after Shinji's domination a mere 24 hours ago. As they sat eating quietly, yesterdays rift between them slowly mending, the world began crashing down around them.

They looked each other square in the face, "Shamshel" Shinji said as his color drained to match Rei's.

"The angel of the morning, the lonely conqueror of god who guards the entrance to Eden." Rei finished his sentence and they both leapt to their feet and headed towards the lockers.

Rei easily outpaced Shinji who had to stop a few times to catch his breath and fight off cramps. He wouldn't have done so on a normal day, but now he was still recovering from his time in the coma and had yet to get back to 100 percent. By the time he got to the changing room she was already done and coming out into the hall.

"I'll go ahead and see what's going on, just get up there as soon as you can ok?" She didn't even wait for a response as she took off like a bullet towards the cages. Shinji was annoyed by the fact that she acted as if he had never done this before, but let it slide as much more pressing matters were at hand. As fast as his aching body let him he was on his way as well. He really hadn't needed to hurry at all.

As he got to the final set of terminals before the cages he got a nod from the guards who had the blast doors already open for him.

He nearly bowled Ayanami over as he turned left at the threshold.

"Whoa, hold on there champ." Said Rei as she extracted Shinji from her arms. No rush this time."

The look of confusion came blasting off of Shinji face with all the subtlety of a Dimmu Borgir concert.

"They nuked it four times. We have about seventeen hours by Kozo's estimation. Time to head off to the command deck for a strategy session." Rei was the epitome of calm and collected while the darker haired of their duo was frantic, on the verge of panic. He started to move in several directions stopping and changing his mind half a dozen times, his eyes did much the same.

By the time he gathered himself the guards were confused by his action, evident by the banter going on between them. Rei was nowhere to be found. 'Command' He thought to himself as he made his way there in as dignified a manner as possible.

"Nice of you to join us Ikari," Misato said as Shinji arrived on-deck. She hadn't turned to face him, rather she knew it had to be him. "You're late."

She gave off an aura of command and forcefulness without any sort of anger. As if she simply knew you would submit to her and so she wasted no more energy on it than necessary. He hadn't seen this side of Misato since the invasion, right before she died.

"Sorry Major, I'm still not a hundred percent since the last fight." Even though he was old enough to be her dad he found himself acting more like the fourteen year old he appeared to be than he cared to. His submissive tone bothered him, but he chalked it up to familiarity.

"Good to know pilot, come over and join in." She didn't motion for him but he took his place two people to her left. Yet another facet of this new place was the table that had apparently risen out of the center of the command decks floor, although Shinji hadn't seen it happen.. Around the table were Misato, Ritsuko, Fuyutsuki, Rei, and two officers Shinji had never seen before. By their pips, Shinji could tell they were both captains.

Kozo spoke only to the three officers at the table. "While Commander Ikari is away on important business I'm in command of this operation. That said, I'm a scientist, not a military man so I'll defer to your superior expertise in strategic planning." Shinji noticed that Rei was giving Akagi an odd look, but he quickly realized what it was.

'Why is she here?' Akagi's not part of the normal operations command staff, unless some sort of technical expertise is needed she would just be superfluous.

He was dragged from his contemplation by the first officer, an incredibly stout and tall black man with what Shinji's best guess, was a South African accent. He began outlining the damage to the angel and how they estimated its regeneration time. The florescent lights just under the tabel's surface casting a ghostly glow upon his sharp features. After relaying that and its projected course he deferred to the second no-name officer.

Her Japanese was so heavily accented that Shinji had a hard time making it out. He seemed to be the only one.

The red headed woman looked like a dwarf next to the other officer. She had to be only an inch or two taller than Shinji. She was an American so this was odd to him seeing as how the stereotype went, but he realized that he was getting drug into tangents by his over active mind. He focused back to the matter at hand and got back into the conversation.

"…So that's why we were going to set up at the coast near here," she motioned to a point of the map. "Directly east of us. We need to get the Eva's loaded onto transports and headed out there ASAP. We can have a mobile HQ on the opposite side of this hill here." Again she pointed to the map, the location three miles North West of her interception coordinates.

Misato stared at the map for a long moment her eyes darting here and there as she ran over a million different tactics. "I want unit 01 behind the hill next to us in G type equipment with the OP 96 sniper rifle. Rei will wait at the coast with dual pallet rifles. Shinji's first action showed that the Zeliska handgun is totally ineffective so I want a higher caliber weapon. I want Rei to have a progressive spear as a backup and Shinji the Magoroku-Exterminate sword."

The plan was simple really, find the core, use the rifle and take as many shots as Shinji could squeeze off. If that doesn't kill it or proves ineffective against the AT field, Rei was to lay down cover fire while Unit 01moved in, so that the two units could engage in hand to hand at the same time.

Numerical superiority.

Before the N2 attack, enough footage of Shamshel fighting off the conventional military had been gathered to give a good idea of the parameters it operated under. It's too bad that Shinji and Rei knew it was all a waste of time if they weren't using the proton rifle. Beyond that, any of the angles provided by the current plan were wrong for hitting its core, which while it was moving, would be underneath it.

But how do you relay that information and not give away prior knowledge?

"Well looking at the images we have of it…" Shinji said as he took a pile of photos and sifted through them quickly so as to not waste time, but still look like he was searching them for information. "I don't see a core, what if it's on the underside of the angel or it goes underwater like the first one? All the hardware in the world would be useless then." He handed the photos to the South African officer.

"We can't go on just these pictures, what if the core is smaller this time or hidden under armor. Hell, it could be camouflaged for all we know. If I had a weak spot I wouldn't put it on my chest and make it red, that would be ridiculous." He didn't look at Shinji when he spoke, seemingly dismissing his comments as if he were a child. Unfortunately, as far as the officer was concerned, he currently was.

"I agree with Pilot Ikari's assessment. Perhaps we should change our sniping position?" Rei added in trying to make her voice as assertive as possible without raising eyebrows at her outburst. "Pilots pilot, officers plan," was the response Rei received from the arrogant American. "Why are they even here Major?" She asked. She was curt and disrespectful, both poor traits for questioning ones command officer.

"I want him behind the hill for cover, Pilot Ayanami . Putting him on ground level would put both of you in danger should the Angel have a projectile weapon as the last one did. But I will see if we can get more photographs so as to ascertain the position of its core. If we can't see it we may adjust his position, until then the plan stands as is. You are all dismissed." Misato didn't even dignify her subordinate with a proper response, it seemed that she shared the pilots feelings on the new guys.

As they filed out of the command center the two pilots shared a knowing glance, there was much to discuss before the battle. It seemed that divergent plans would be a necessity from now on. Shinji felt bad for the fact that Misato was of no real use in the grand scheme of things, but it wasn't her fault really. "Hey you two," Misato was still wearing her 'I'm the boss man' hat as she called their attention back. "I want you to hit the racks early tonight, as soon as we land on the coast would be best. I want you up and in your Eva's by 0400 hours for the arrival at 0700. We leave in two hours, gather up your stuff and be at the cages 30 minutes before that." At this point she turned her back on them and gave an order to Maya as the door to the room closed shut with a quite hiss.

-_45 minutes later, third observatory room _

"Ok, I think that may work, but it's risky, Shinji." Rei stood at the convex window that served as the north facing wall of the room. It was a hemisphere on top of a spire that overlooked the western corner of the Geo Front. Rei was pleased to see that they also existed in this version of the Geofront, and that she was able to finally share it with Shinji. Far enough away from the busy part of the base that no one was likely to wander in, and so rarely thought of that it was free of listening devices.

They were rarely used because it wasn't a decent view really and it got pretty hot in there, but for today it would serve their purposes.

"It's something that the faster we get done the better, trust me. I've piloted with and without and it's a big difference, could tip the scale in our favor. With as hard as the fights have been it can't hurt to at least try, and I'm not saying do it if it looks like it may prolong the fight. Just if the chance shows itself, go for it." Shinji sat on the room's lone piece of decoration, a basic and seemingly old wrought iron bench.

They were both still in their plug suits, having decided that changing in and out of them would waste time they might need. They had spent the first few minutes discussing new tactics, but found that really they couldn't diverge until the rifle proved useless, as they knew it would. Shinji deduced that after the attack the angel may approach the island underwater to avoid further attacks, making the strategy even more useless.

But it was the hand to hand that they laid out, and if all went according to plan it would be swift and elegant, just like Asuka had demanded they be all those years ago. When Rei pointed out that no plan survived an encounter with the enemy, Shinji told her to stop acting like him.

"Well that didn't take nearly as long as I thought it might. So what do we do for the next hour?" Shinji now laid down on the bench's hard surface and faced the ceiling. "Can we get out of here? It's hot as fuck and I'm stewing in this thing." He tried to pull at the suit but got nowhere since it was sealed to his body like a second skin.

"In a minute sure, but I wanted to discuss one last thing before that." Rei had yet to face him the entire time they had been in the room, apparently something out in the distance was infinitely fascinating to her.

"And that would be what?" Shinji began to fan himself at this point. He really wanted to get out of the sauna.

"I find myself struggling to find the words, which is odd for me huh?" Rei's voice was nervous and halting from time to time signifying that she was over thinking what she wanted to say.

This of course caused Shinji to sit up and give her his full attention. "You ok Rei?"

"You remember the night we fought Ramiel, what you said to me afterwards?" Rei finally turned to face Shinji, a look of worry apparent from her stance to her facial expression.

"Of course I do. Why do you bring that up?"

"That was one of the most important moments in my life and it took me over a decade to realize it. I was just thinking about it and, you know." She absentmindedly rubbed her left elbow and started to look at it, unable to hold his gaze any longer.

"You're worrying too much, I've been telling you to leave that to me. I'm the one with experience in that field, not you," he smiled as he spoke and got to his feet, walking over to Rei, standing not two feet from her. "I know what you're doing and stop. So what if the first two times ended up bad? It's been a long time since we've been in combat so it's just us knocking the rust off. Things will be different this time, we have a plan and we're both good to go."

"No you're not Shinji, don't lie to me!" Rei yelled at him. "I can see you limp with almost every step. You're still weak and your endurance is garbage. You're going to get yourself killed if you go out there." She looked him in the eye again and was intense to be sure. A lot of raw emotion was in her eyes, more than her words could ever say.

Shinji took her in his arms and gave her a warm and reassuring hug. "I have mother there protecting me, not to mention you and Misato. There is no way we can lose, Rei. We'll be fine, just wait and see." His mouth was mere centimeters from Rei's ear and it made her shiver. He pulled back a bit and pulled Rei's chin up so she would be face to face with him. She was on the verge of tears.

"When you have a higher power on your side, it's easy to have confidence. That and you're going to be out there too right?" Rei gave a tiny smile and Shinji surprised her by kissing her forehead, an easy task given his height advantage. "Just relax and let's get out there to kick some ass. You worry and get nervous and that's when mistakes are made. Get your game face on Rei, it's time to go." After the kiss he kept his and her foreheads touching so his message would get through loud and clear. He was so intent at making eye contact, even though Rei remained focused on the ground, he missed it when Rei's tongue darted across her pale lips. With his pep talk over he turned from her, wanting to get the hell out of hell. Shinji could hear a gallon of water with his name on it calling to him.

More than a minute after he had shut the door to the observatory Rei was still starring at her feet crying silently to herself.

"You are a coward Rei Ayanami." Were the only words she could get out.

Using the time the N2 attack had given, the city sank and the non combatants were sequestered off in their shelters. Not perfect, but as safe as they could be and still be in the city. The action would be nowhere near them, but better safe than sorry right?

In what seemed to be defiance of the odds, the transportation of the Evas went off without a hitch and right on schedule. The mobile command trailers and both Units were set in position and it was just a matter of time. Shinji sat bored in his cockpit knowing that anything short of close quarters combat was useless, as were the weapons they were assigned. Rei for her part was a nervous mess. Her insides all jumbled at her failure to reach out and say what was on her mind. She was worried to death about Shinji in his condition.

She had set in her head the notion that this time, she would take the brunt of the fighting. Let Shinji execute his plan, but she needed to keep her foe's attention for the entirety of the fight. Getting separated or injured was not an option if she wanted to keep Shinji safe.

Time passed and nothing happened.

No sign of Shamshel could be found. Shinji had been right: it had gone underwater. Over the com lines it was utter chaos, no one knew anything. They stood down from alert status and now everything was up in the air. By the time it was found by satellite imagery it had bypassed them and had a straight shot to Tokyo 3. Despite how quickly the two Eva's had been loaded back onto the transports it had time to emerge from the ocean and begin its overland flight.

By the time they had arrived the entirety of the city's defensive lines had been destroyed. In a very systematic manner the angel had gone from point to point meticulously destroying every tank, missile battery, airfield and artillery piece. Seeing as how they had put up only cursory retaliation in their first offensive use it seemed totally unnecessary. But only if you thought of success in the battle.

If you wanted to win the war and knew the machinations of the United Nations, various world organizations and governments, it was brilliant. It was number four of seventeen, and the ability of the Eva's to fight them, as they were the only real threat, was totally based on what every army ever was based on: logistics, money, butter and bullets.

You kill a lot of men and waste a lot of equipment, they have to spend money to train replacements, build new weapons and get them to the battle. All a strain on already thin world resources, with thirteen chances to do this eventually you will outpace your enemies ability to effectively fight you, then the war is over due to attrition. As the Eva's fell to earth the monstrosity paid them no heed. Its job done, it turned now to destroying what parts of the city had not been designed to burrow. It was here that the battle changed dramatically.

"Oh no." Rei couldn't believe what she was seeing as she touched down a mere moment before Shinji.

The angel had tendrils extending from both ends of its 'arms.' On top of that they were reaching nearly a mile as it whipped them around destroying entire blocks in a single swipe. The death toll was going to be massive.

From a standing position, Shinji began taking shots at the Angels back. He was at its seven o' clock and the bullets just bounced off of it's AT field, completely ignored.

"Useless piece of shit!" He yelled as he threw the weapon to the ground and took off for the next Eva weapon locker. Rei was still fulfilling her part of the plan and laying down a suppressing fire as Shinji extracted their weapons.

"I'm out." She said calmly as she finished her strafing maneuver and dropped her weapons as well rather than waste her time reloading them. She drew her prog knife as she back tracked to her landing zone, picking up the spear she had embedded in the earth upon touching down. But instead it merely stared back, as much as a creature with no eyes can stare, and then began attacking the city behind it again.

"I think this will require a drastic change of the plan Shinji!" Rei shouted out as she charged the phallic behemoth. By the time Shinji got to where Rei had been he had to duck as her Eva was being thrown at him.

"Son of a bitch!" He exclaimed as he grabbed the spear Rei had dropped mid-flight and got up off his ass to find himself facing down the new and improved Shamshel. Even though nearly a half mile separated them it might as well been face to face.

Shinji could hear the destruction continue on behind him as he realized that it yet again was not attacking.

'It's just trying to buy itself as much time as it can so it can wreak maximum damage.' Thinking on his feet had never been his strong suit, but today he would have to learn to do so, and fast. As he reared back to launch Rei's spear, the angel once again became airborne and took off to the opposite side of Tokyo 3. Shinji took a shot at it anyway, hoping for the best.

Grabbing the spear in mid air with its right arm Shamshel used the two glowing pink whips of death to sheer it in two and toss it back at Unit 01's feet, as if it was a toy. A look of total disbelief was plastered across Shinji's face as the angel sped southwest at a speed he had never known them to possess.

As he turned to help Rei back up, Misato came in over the com system. "I've had rocket launchers and a mini gun sent up to tower eight. Try those and see if they can do any damage. If not then proceed with caution into CQC. You guys know what to do, you've had the right training. I know you can do it." Far before she blinked out the pair had taken off for tower eight. By the time they had retrieved their new arsenal, got a short recharge and made their way over to the angel it had already completely destroyed that half of the city.

The only thing going through Shinji's mind was the hope that everyone had been long evacuated and no more lives were being lost.

"3, 2, 1." Was Rei's countdown as she swept low with the chain gun and Shinji went high with rocket after rocket. To their great surprise, as Shamshel turned to face them, it took a hit to the now exposed core and let out a most heinous noise. When asked in the debriefing how to describe it Rei said it sounded as if someone was beating a baby seal to death, but a billion times louder.

Where she had heard a dying seal before, who knew?

But the cry of pain and its immediate attempt to flee combat gave them imminence joy. As it turned and began to make its way up the mountain behind it Shinji dropped his weapon and took after it. This of course meant that Rei had to stop firing as well or risk hitting Shinji. Rei took after them both and as her training kicked in, looked at her clock, the sight worrying her.

Their recharge while rearming at the tower had been very brief, less than a minute of power left. Making a snap decision she turned and headed back into the city. Hailing Misato and getting the coordinates for the nearest plug she felt a horrible ache in her gut. She had abandoned Shinji to fight alone, just like she said she wouldn't. The logic of her decision didn't stack up to what she had said. She already felt as if she had lost the fight.

As Misato warned Shinji of his fleeting time, he was very busy being on his back, pinned by his enemy to the mountainside. He could feel his skin burning at his wrists and ankles. It was a slow searing pain, one he remembered well from the first time he had fought this fight.

"He's trying to eat me!" Shinji screamed out when he realized that he was being lifted from the ground towards Shamshel's articulated ribs. Shinji couldn't see a mouth per se but it was the only reason his mind could fathom. But then out of nowhere something popped into Shinji's mind.

"This is life or death man, you can't have fair fights when that's on the line." Straight from the mouth of Touji Suzuhara.

So Shinji did the first thing he could think of, head butt the angel and drive the horn on his Eva's head right into its core. Blood gushed out of it like a geyser as its grip loosened and Shinji was able to throw it backwards down the mountain, part of his horn still lodged in Shamshel's core. As the angel loudly tumbled end over end down the mountain it finally was given a short breather and gathered its wits at the base. Taking off like a bolt it destroyed the last isolated pocket of still standing structures as it passed them by.

"It's heading your way Rei!" Shinji screamed over the intercom unnecessarily.

"No need to yell Shinji," came Misato's voice, "Care package coming your way." Before he could question her as to what she meant, two loud thuds hit to his 4 o'clock. "Its batteries; couldn't drop them before and risk them getting destroyed or you distracted. You have twelve seconds, I'd advise putting them on now." Her transmission cut out as abruptly as it stared but Shinji had already leapt into action.

The circling transport now moved in Rei's direction. It couldn't really help her but Misato was a 'lead from the front' kind of commander, and besides if they lost she would die anyway so why not get a front row seat right?

Rei took off on an intercept course and gave the angel her best Muay Thai impersonation with a flying knee smash to the side of its head. The angel had been so intent on escape it had moved in a straight line the entire time and had missed the thunderous sound of Unit 00's approaching footfalls.

The two of them rolled around like Greco Roman wrestlers, destroying a large track of property. Shamshel ended up on top and began to try and pop off Unit 00's head by chocking it with all four of its appendages. Rei replied by shoving the remnants of Shinji's spear right into where his horn was still lodged, driving in even further. Rei had ran past it on the way to a plug and snatched it up as she went.

Again it screamed and drenched her blue Eva in a sea of red.

Then a hand burst from Shamshel's chest, grabbing what was left of its core and pulled it out through its back. It made no sound this time, just fell onto Rei and lay still as it quickly turned grey and then began to crumble like a sandcastle in the rain.

It was now Shinji's turn to scream. As he did so the Test Type Evangelion bellowed in unison, breaking its mouth bindings yet again, and proceeded to ingest more than half of the angel's core in a single bite.

Rei smiled at their total victory, Shinji had been right. Neither of them got hurt and he got the core just as he'd planned. She opened a com link to him and saw him seemingly talking to himself. He was very animated and his mouth moved but no words came out, but Rei could make one word that he was mouthing over and over in his conversation.

Mother.

She was snapped out of her confusion by several incredibly irate voices. It seemed as if the entire command staff was yelling at them. But all the different voices jumbled together made them indiscernible. The sub commander finally managed to quite the rest of the room and spoke directly to Shinji. He no longer yelled but it was clear that he was both extremely confused and angry.

But no matter what he did he could not pull Shinji out of his own head. His com was clearly on but he just paid it no heed and kept on with his talk until he had his entry plug forcibly ejected. That broke his link and it caused Shinji to become completely uncorked. He was cursing like a sailor in a porno, it would have been impressive if it had not been so sudden. After almost two minutes of his tirade, Shinji tilted his head as if listening to a faint sound and then sighing deeply, stopped as immediately as he began.

He still had 22 minutes and 14 seconds of power left when he flushed out the LCL and decided to exit the Eva. Unit 01 lifted its hand up to the plug and Shinji climbed onto it, holding onto the thumb for balance. How it still moved with the entry plug removed was currently an enigma., the mere act sent Gendo and Akagi into conniption fits.

As Unit 01's hand neared the ground he could see Rei already waiting for him. "How did you beat me down?" He yelled to her.

"Why do you even question the things I do anymore?" She replied nearly glowing with happiness.

"See what did I tell you about worrying?" He said, giving her a thumbs up as he finally reached terra firma. As he hopped off the massive hand Rei walked over to him and gave him a hug to rival any Misato has ever doled out. The sun was now well into the sky, with dawn having just passed them by. As the sky changed from orange to blue the dust clouds were now rising up to block out the sun yet again.

But in the mist of such carnage and loss Rei Ayanami was on cloud nine. As she pulled back from the hug the sight of a smiling Shinji was too much and she finally gave in to her baser instincts.

The kiss lasted a few seconds with Shinji being caught totally off guard. As she began to deepen the kiss Shinji felt her tongue slip past his lips. The next thing Rei knew she was on the pavement nursing a sore rear. The look of confusion she gave Shinji was met with one she had never seen from him.

Contempt.

"How dare you." The venom in his voice almost visible to the naked eye.

"But…wha, I mean…" Rei stumbled though words as the train wreck that was her mind just seemed to pile up deeper and deeper. "I thought, I mean you…"

"I highly doubt you gave this any thought or you would have never attempted it. I thought Asuka was your friend, I thought I was." He paused for a moment as Rei began to nearly hyperventilate and just broke down into a blubbering husk of a person. "I guess I was wrong on both counts." Shinji said as he turned from Rei and walked toward what he knew was the nearest entry point to the Geofront. The various crews would be coming from there most likely.

He had a nice jail cell waiting for him when they found him and he knew it. But with what had just happened he welcomed it over a moment more in Rei Ayanami's presence.

Rei for her part felt cold, empty, and completely ashamed all at the same time. She wished that Lelial would just appear and swallow her up, anything to stop the pain in her stomach and heart. She knew the rules but had done it anyway.

As the Buddhists say, life is pain.

Terminal Dogma, that night

Staring up at the anomaly of life that had been labeled Lillith, Gendo Ikari found his mind wondering as it often did when he came here to gaze upon her and think. But on this day his right hand began to itch. Taking off his glove brought the grey monstrosity into the light. It was a nasty little thing and Gendo hated the sight of it, but as he scratched it, in a sort of autonomic response, his eyes darted to it for the briefest moment.

Unfortunately it was waiting for him to do so and caught his eye as he did. He had caught Gendo yet again.

The visions bordered on fever dreams. This time it was the sight of a preposterously large Rei standing over the earth, bleeding and wounded. As she fell to her death she rapidly shrunk down to her normal size but her wings never left her. As the body hit the sea of blood Gendo awoke. He was laying flat on the floor situated so that when he gazed up an upside down Lillith filled his vision.

He quickly sat up, put his glove back on and dusted himself off. Taking a phone out of his jacket pocket he rang up someone with a very special skill set.

"Hello commander."

"Is pilot Ikari still in solitary confinement?"

"Yes sir."

"Has he been interrogated?"

"Yes sir, but he never spoke. He resisted all methods of coercion."

"Let's see if hunger will loosen his tongue. After he speaks he is to be deported to the closest third world hell-hole you can find."

"Yes sir, should I contact section seven to take care of him?"

"No, well just leak who and where he is. Let the populace take care of it for us."

"Sounds good to me, sir."

"If nothing works, take it out of him however you see fit. He no longer serves any purpose outside of the why's and how's."

Gendo hung up before any further response came.

After putting the phone away he rubbed his right wrist, the only recourse he had to the throbbing pain that came from his 'guest.' As he did, he came back to the line of thought that brought him to Terminal Dogma in the first place.

If I can drag the information I need from Ikari, then I'll have cleared the final hurdle to the full implementation of the dummy plugs.

Clenching his fist as hard as he could, hoping it brought some level of discomfort to the tag-a-long, Gendo tore his gaze away from Lilith. "Soon." He spoke to himself as he turned and left.

Lilith stared into space as she always had, never noticing Gendo's presence.

* * *

Ok I think that now you should understand why the meaning of that song was. All lyrics and copy writes and ect associated with the song belong to Strapping Young Lad, Devin Townsend and their label. I own nothing.

New prereader is rlkgh0, hes a bad ass. STILL HATE FFN'S FORMATTING WITH ALL OF MY BEING. I MEAN REALLY, COULD BE ANY WORSE IF THEY TRIED? THE ANSWER TO THAT IS OF COURSE NO!

Pics at the usual source and this time include:

Shinji, Rei, and Misato in the park with Pen Pen

Pic of Gendo

Pic of Yui

Painting of Misato

Painting of Unit 01 roaring

Rei as an angel

4th angel (the part of the "arm" that would be the elbow is where the second set of tendrils come from)

.com/watch?v=Pxj7ADBjyv8 sound of crying baby seal

The kiss

Adam in Gendo's hand

Massive Rei dying


	10. Holding on

**Holding on**

I thought the future held a perfect place for us.  
That together we would learn to be the best that we could be.  
In my naivety I ran, I fell and lost my way.  
Somehow I always end up falling over me.

And one day I woke to find the future had no place for me.

I was unwanted in a world that with my hands I helped to build.  
Where once was honesty and pride, I now stand broken and alone.  
Just a shadow of what I was meant to be.

They say that "Time will heal"  
"The truth shall set us free"  
Well that depends on what it is that you choose to believe.  
In this prison made of lies we see what it is we want to see.  
And find comfort in this broken hall of dreams

Does anybody feel the way I do?  
Is there anybody out there?  
Are you hearing me?

I believe in you  
Will you believe in me?  
Or am I alone in this hall of dreams?

I believe in you, you believe in me.  
But I have no trust in anything.  
Somehow I'm always, always falling over me.

Somehow I'm always, I'm always falling over me.

December 4th, 2015. Hamburg, Germany.

As one Asuka Langley Soryu, now 15, hit 'send' on her NERV issued phone she expected to hear the voice of her former, and soon to be again lover, Shinji Ikari. What she got instead, was a recording.

_If this is one of Shinji's friends, he is unable to answer your calls for the foreseeable future due to intensive off site training. Upon his return to NERV HQ he will be notified of your inquiry. If this is Asuka, you know my number._

The voice belonged to a certain Major, not what a girl wants to hear on her birthday.

Rather than waste time trying to decipher what was going on, Asuka wisely decided to just get the info straight from the horse's mouth. A few moments later Misato answered her phone, her enunciation sounding annoyed and obviously stressed out.

"What's wrong Major?" Asuka asked trying her hardest to should like a mature and seasoned military officer.

"Pilot Soryu, you do understand what time it is correct?" Asuka actually cringed at her lack of foresight. It was pre-dawn for her and the middle of the day Japan time, good for Shinji, but still on duty for Misato. She was off to a good start already.

"I'm sorry Major Katsuragi, if this is a bad time I will call back later." Asuka did her best subordinate placating tone, not wanting to piss off her only source of immediate info.

"That would only cause two interruptions. What do you want Pilot." Misato's perturbed mood seemed oppressive.

"I called Shinji, as I'm sure you guessed, and heard the message. What's wrong with him? Is he okay?" Asuka would never win an Oscar, but she had gotten pretty decent at playing a teen in the past few months. The lovesick puppy role made her hate herself a bit, but it seemed to fulfill everyone's expectations, so she went with it.

"On the 22nd, after his encounter with the Angel he was jailed for insubordination. Ikari received a three week sentence in solitary confinement, after which he will be placed under house arrest for the rest of his life. He has been dishonorably discharged from NERV and the only reason that he will not be executed for treason is because of who his father is. I take it that this answers all of your questions?" Misato's delivery cut to the chase, no emotion, just the facts.

Asuka was on the verge of just dropping her phone. All higher level brain function had ceased and she literally stood in her room half way across the world from where she belonged, unable to speak.

"If I was you, I'd find a new boyfriend. I'm sorry Asuka." Then the line went dead. Misato, alone in her office, now broke down and began to cry.

Gendo watched his monitor with only tepid interest before he killed the camera link to the room.

December 8th was Misato's birthday, but in her mind there was very little to celebrate. Telling Makoto that she just wanted to be alone, she drank herself into unconsciousness, truly a fine and noble way to spend your time.

December 13th would see Shinji's release from captivity, contrary to the information Misato had been given, he was allowed to stay on the active duty roster. Gendo said Shinji was already known as the voice of NERV and thus important for propaganda purposes. That and the fact that Unit 01 was now rejecting all signals sent to it. Further test proved that only Shinji's unique brain wave signature was accepted amongst active pilots or pilot candidates.

Shinji knew this would be so, but waited for the techs to finish spinning their wheels. His smug look of satisfaction was hard to ignore and no amount of reprimand could phase it. After what his father had thrown at him in an effort to get information about his actions in the last angel battle, nothing people did in the light of day would ever compare.

The worst part of it, at least to Shinji, was the sense of betrayal that he felt. He knew his father, but recently his words and actions had seemed a bit more mellow, almost familial, at least for Gendo. But now Shinji understood the score, this time would be no different. In his eyes his father was irredeemable, no matter what his goals may have been.

Upon his release everyone began to notice a change in him. He kept the physical scars hidden, but the mental ones were there if you knew where to look. It began with Shinji's calls to Asuka. With the view that he was untouchable, and without Rei to try and ground him, he no longer felt the need to be so childish in his dealings with his spouse. No reason to fake fights, misunderstandings, or any other ridiculous ploys to try and cover his ass.

They now acted like the old couple that they were. Let people wonder or whatever it is that people with nothing better to do with their time might do. If he could get away with having his Eva ingest an S2 engine, then he saw no reason to lay low any further. Besides the fact that he was sure that if worse came to worse he could just get his mother to spring him from imprisonment. He had done it before, and he could do it again. Or at least he led himself to believe so.

To go along with his growing ego, Misato also noticed how she never saw or heard anything about Rei anymore outside of work. She and Shinji used to be totally inseparable, and some fact about her or her day came out of his mouth in every conversation. But just as she drifted off in mind, she did so in body as well.

When Misato celebrated her belated birthday with Shinji and their friends, Rei had been a no show. Misato had made a point to invite her in person and still nothing. Shinji's mind and conversation had instead shifted onto the topic of one red headed German girl.

"Asuka told me that after the incident in Berlin they were all put into some serious debriefing sessions. There was a lot of finger pointing and people wanting to know how she knew about the attacks and Tabris, all sorts of things."

"Wait, she knew about the attacks?" Misato and Shinji were sitting at the dinner table in their usual after hour's attire a few days before Shinji's next public announcement on the 22nd.

"Not specifically, but that the creature that called itself Tabris appeared to her many times before the attack. She reported the sightings, but the brass thought she was losing it. When the attack came and it looked exactly as she has described, well they had to believe her at that point. She knew that he was threatening her and by proxy the instillation. So in that capacity, yeah, she knew an attack was coming." Shinji now felt more at ease with Misato than he ever had before. It was obvious to her in the way he carried himself and communicated with her.

She knew his time alone had changed him. She had hoped that some sort of positive outcome came of it. How well Shinji seemed to have handled that horrible situation had really impressed her. He seemed to have matured ten years in less than a month. She thought an experience such as that would have crushed any normal kid, even more so someone as… nuanced as Shinji is. But no dice, he had taken it as if he was used to that sort of treatment, like a seasoned criminal would have.

But she compartmentalized that thought for later, as she was curious about several more of the facts in Shinji's de facto report. "Why was it ok for her to tell you all about this? By now you have to realize that your phones are tapped and everything you say to one another is being listened to. I don't get how they didn't cut you off and reprimand her for just blabbing about vital information."

"Yeah, I've figured that since day one, but she told me that they had already told her what she could and could not say. The specifics of what Tabris said to her, how he got to where he did in facility, the number of dead and lots of other things. There was a lot she couldn't tell me, but I pieced it together for the most part. What was left out was all minutia really, not pertinent to what I was wanting to know. She's ok now and that's what's important to me. Neither of us knows why or how she's ok considering that Tabris had killed her, but then again I pilot a giant robot that I can use to talk to my dead mother, so who's to say what's strange anymore right?" All the while Shinji continued to eat and the topics that came around no matter how serious or grave were handled with a sense of levity that Misato almost couldn't fathom from one as young as he was.

In some ways he was far too much like his father for her comfort.

"And don't worry about me blabbing either, I was told in no uncertain terms that I wasn't to say shit about shit. So I haven't." Misato ruffled his hair calling him a good boy and dinner proceeded on.

As they washed the dishes together Shinji thanked her for never asking about his time in confinement and the respect she had shown to him since the last battle. "You have every right to grill me incessantly about why I did it and how I knew how to get the core and lots of other things. You could have made my home life a living hell, but you've kept them separate. You have treated me like your son or little brother or whatever you think of me as, instead of as a subordinate. That means more to me than I think I can really express to you."

As he spoke he never looked at her, he merely kept on with the task at hand. Misato smiled at him, inwardly content, though he didn't see. She decided to add her two cents, saying. "Why do that myself and make you think poorly of me? I have lackeys that I can use to do it for me. I am the boss after all." Her playful tone broke the solemn feel the night had taken on.

"You spend too much time with my dad." Shinji said, deadpan for a moment, then smiled and laughed as Misato did the same. Unfortunately he had meant it.

December 21st – Gendo's office

"Report." Gendo sat in his trademarked pose behind his massive desk as he tried his best to be intimidating. The fact that while he was trying very hard to look like he wasn't trying at all to be intimidating would have been hilarious if the very design of the room itself didn't always tip the scales in his favor.

Ritsuko cleared her throat as she and Misato stood in the dimly lit room, talking to a man who they could barely see due to the dark and distance. As she finally spoke the floor beneath their feet lit up, now blinding them. The entire scene was so ludicrous any outsider would think he was just fucking with them to get a laugh. A laugh would have garnered a bullet in the gut, making it all the more surreal.

Perhaps the internal conflict between the situation's silly hijinks and deadly seriousness was the intended effect. Keep them uncomfortable to give him leverage in any encounter. But as Misato debated this she realized that she had drifted off from reality and a conversation had been going on in her absence.

"I asked you if you had anything to add Major, do not waste my time with your idle daydreams." Gendo spoke with a barely contained rage. Was the emotion real or fabricated? What did it matter? Either way the threat was the same.

"In addition to what I had reported about the nature of Pilot Ikari's conversations with Pilot Soryu, it appears that he has undergone several abrupt changes in his personality since my last report. I would attribute all of them to his time spent in isolation sir." Misato had done her best to recover quickly, but the sweat running down her back and between her breasts suggest it wasn't as easy as she had hoped.

"Care to elaborate?" The commander asked as he shuffled through numerous papers scattered across his desk, stopping from time to time to read a few lines and then file it away. He cared little for what the Major was saying and he didn't really care if they knew it. If it wouldn't affect Shinji's ability to kill at Gendo's whim then what was the point in even bringing it up? And if it would it would have already been in her written submission.

"I've noticed a lot of small things that I believe when added up give a good idea of the tumultuous state of his mind at the moment sir," when no noise came from across the cavernous room she continued on. "Well first of all his interaction with me has totally shifted. Before this, he was a shyish child. I could always say or do something and could get some sort of rise out of him, either embarrassment or annoyance. But now little I do bothers' him, as if he's seen it all before, like an old man or something." It was at times like this, talking about Shinji, that Misato seemed to become more of a mother figure than a military officer.

The very unprofessional nature of her reports never slipped by Gendo, but neither did he berate her attitude. Instead he knew that if push came to shove her attachment to his son was something he could use to gain an advantage over her. Ritsuko had warned her several times about this fact but Misato was never able to help herself.

'Shyish? How infantile.' Gendo mused to himself as he half listened.

"His taste in music has also dramatically changed. It used to consist almost entirely of classical pieces and now it's become considerably more… well if knew him you would know how important that is. He is also open about his relationship with Pilot Soryu in Germany, on top of the paradoxical turn in his relationship with Pilot Ayanami. I had assumed they had become best friends, but recently..."

Misato seemed now to be almost prattling on like a house wife about her concerns about her boy and how he's 'falling in with the wrong crowd', Gendo decided to stop placating her at this point due to the uselessness of what was being said, that and he had not missed Misato's absentminded slight against him.

"And I take it your experience with your own teenage child tells you that a minor shift in tastes or personality is a sign of mental fatigue or trauma and not merely the machinations of a person attempting to find a sense of individuality?" He had rudely interrupted her, yes, but at least now he was looking her straight in the eyes. Or at least she thought he was, hard to tell from so far away.

"The Commander is right Major," Ritsuko added to her lovers chiding remark, like a child seeking some small show of favor. "You've never had children of your own so gauging something so insignificant as a portent of some future breakdown is a big stretch." The look that she gave Misato was condescending as hell. "But I will order a new psyche evaluation just to assuage your fears. I'm sure he's fine Major."

All Misato could think about was how neither of them had any idea who Shinji was and how they also lacked any sort of reference for what a child should act like. They had as good a set of people skills between them as Pol Pot and Stalin.

"Back to more pressing matters," Ritsuko announced as she began to read off of her ever present clipboard. "It has been determined that with a full charge Unit 01 now has an operational time of almost thirty minutes. The formation of a S2 core has been detected under Unit 01's breast plate. It is still small in size, most likely due to the fact that it was unable to completely consume the angel's core before it degenerated. All readings from the core are stable and really not all that different from baseline reading before its inception." As she finished up her report a shit eating grin appeared on her face.

'Such a blatant show of emotion would be considered weak or inappropriate of me. But with her it's okay, do they have any idea how transparent they are?' Misato mused to herself all the while trying to remaining outwardly stony.

"Regardless, it is to remain in lock down until I deem it fit. More to the point we were never able to ascertain how he got the idea to do this did we, Major?"

She shook her head no. "There are those within the council who believe he is somehow privy to inside information that even they do not possess. I have heard rumblings from them about fanatical groups sprouting up all over the world calling him the savior and the Morning Star, depending on who you ask." Gendo's tone and demeanor made him unreadable. Was he taking the ranting of lunatics seriously, did he want to use their own prattling against them? The level of contingency plans and tactics that he wove kept most from ever even glimpsing what his true goals were.

"I do not believe that your reports on the Pilot are good enough. We know no more about him now than we did before his transgression. Information is power Major. I would hope I don't have to remind you about that. If we indeed to have the Messiah amongst us, it would behoove us to be aware of that, would it not?"

Misato knew he was making a joke at her expense, the double standards that abounded at NERV made her feel like she was back in High School again. "I'm well aware of that sir, but I assure you I've said all that there is to say. Any deciphering of his actions shouldn't be done by me. I'm not a psychologist." 'What is this pick on poor old Misato day?' she thought to herself as she continued to work up a sweat.

"I care little for his thoughts, but I do care about his actions. Another gross misuse of NERV property or the trust we have put in him will result in his immediate execution. Am I clear Major? I cannot have a weapon I can't rely on to work as I need it to, when I need it to." His voice once again seemed detached, even though his words were far from it.

The best Misato could manage was a nod of the head at the callousness that father would show son.

"Are there any remaining tests to be done on the Pilot or Unit 01, Dr. Akagi?"

"No sir. Outside of his normal weekly treatments we have the results back on the entire battery of tests he received while in the brig. He has shown no change in state, our treatments are keeping his illness at bay and no other abnormalities have arisen from his close contact with the Solenoid." Ritsuko answered the question with no reference or pause. Misato began to wonder if this entire meeting had been scripted and she merely there to see if she slipped up.

No proof of course, but everything she had said that wasn't on her formal report was ignored or viewed derisively. Misato did not like feeling like a child.

"Tomorrow the Pilot is to give the preapproved address at the regularly scheduled time. That is all, you are both dismissed." Gendo now turned away from them in his massive chair and began to walk away. Misato didn't even know if there was a door on the other side, it was far too dark and distant for her to guess.

As she made her exit and the door slid shut, a thought came to her. 'Where was Fuyutsuki?'

_December 22__nd__ 1100 hours_

_On November 22__nd__ Lt. Ayanami, a fellow pilot and Japanese national, and myself, came into contact with our second enemy combatant. In her first battle on the front line, Pilot Ayanami performed admirably and we were able to defeat the foreign invader. _

_I am saddened to report though that causalities suffered by our support staff, the JSDF, and UN security forces were significant enough to result in the abandonment of the city of Tokyo 3. The UN has decided that the city is from here on to be considered a battle field and subject to military law. Not wanting the innocents to suffer needlessly, NERV has provided a generous government stipend to all non essential personal to relocate them to any place in the world they so desire. _

_Though I am sad to see them go, I do know that it is for the best. I would hate for any person to lose the most precious of gifts given to all of us, life. Knowing that they are safe will let me sleep sounder at night, as well as simplify me and my fellow pilot's job._

_On a much happier note I have been given the enviable job of being able to relay to you some news not yet disseminated to the world media. We at NERV are a mere few days away from completing the training of our first complete class of Evangelion Pilots. These dedicated individuals have sacrificed much to gain the necessary skills and are prepared to give their all to save the human race. Our future looks even brighter with these new recruits at the helm of the first of the completed line of mass produced Evangelions. _

_By the beginning of Spring our victory will be assured. It is now little more than a matter of time. I thank you all for your continued support and on behalf of all the personal at NERV we wish you all a festive holiday season._

"Is it okay to let them in on our inner workings like that Sir?" Misato asked as she finished her private viewing of the piece before its release later that afternoon.

"You give them small useless bits like that and they feel involved and informed. It keeps them from digging for more, at least for the most part," Gendo stood and killed the feed. After doing so he began the long walk in his office from his desk to the lit floor, or hot spot as Misato had come to call it. "Since we kicked the stragglers out of our fair city, all seen above without clearance will be killed on site as enemy spies under the pact our committee signed with the UN. Our facility is now secure and we can focus outward for the first time." His gravelly voice was measured, neither outwardly happy nor sad. But Misato knew and so did everyone else, it had been an epic victory for the Commander.

"Section 2 will be glad to hear of the decision to be sure sir. They seem to spend as much time complaining about being over worked as they do actually doing anything." Misato joked in effort to lighten the mood. She knew it was doomed to failure, but you can't blame a girl for trying can you?

"I have been made aware of that fact recently and it has been alleviated. Do you have any further reports Major?" Gendo now stood less that a meter from her and although he was only a few inches taller than she was at best, he seemed to loom over her like some malevolent monolith.

"No Sir." Apparently you can.

Its spring 2016 and as a duo are sitting out on Misato's veranda they gaze over the Geofront. It's not quite the real world, but for the time being it would have to do. It was a desolate and nearly dead world above. After the carnage that Ramiel had wrought, there was so much rubble and debris that there were few spots in the city where it wasn't depressing to look around. They both knew that it would take years to clear away the proof of their conflict.

But on this day the artificial light was good enough, and as Pen Pen waddled his lazy ass out to join them. Rei made Shinji stop for a moment so she could pick up her avian pal and place him firmly in her lap. He wore tanning goggles and proceeded to do his best at baking himself to a nice golden brown. He warked to them what could only be interpreted as proceed, and thus the haircut continued.

A few snips later Shinji spoke. "Hey."

"Wha?" Rei responded questioningly at the interruption, learning her head back to gaze at him. His plan had worked masterfully and he learned down to plant a loving kiss upon her lips. It was light, playful, and lasted only a moment. He pulled back smiling in a most smug and elated fashion. Still leaning back Rei grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him down for a proper kiss.

Being jostled, Pen Pen warked in a disgruntled fashion and went back inside, grumbling to himself the whole way. Neither of them could keep from laughing at his predicament. But their pause lasted only a moment and Rei's haircut ended over an hour later.

Its winter 2025 though you would never be able to tell by the 87 degree weather and Japans famous humidity. Aika sat in front of a fan in her room, her chocolate colored sundress billowing out behind her as she heard her mother running from room to room in their house.

Her father had a recital today, out at the open auditorium near what used to be the heart of the city. Tokyo 3 no longer resembled the fortress it became during the darkest days of humanity, in fact not much of a city remained at all. Tokyo 3 now stood as a monument to all those who bravely gave their lives in service of their race.

Dignitaries from 47 different nations would be at today's recital. It was the commemoration to the pilots who fought and died in the war so far, so that the rest of us could live. But none of this made any sense to five year old Aika, she had heard her father play a million times, with all sorts of instruments. The idea of a world outside of the one she knew was impossible. So it is that the red eyed girl with sun kissed skin tried to escape from her house into the woods surrounding it.

She made it as far as the front gate before she heard her mother call out for her.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing you little turkey."

"But mommy, I don't want to wear a dress. What's wrong with what I have on?"

"Get in here so I can comb your hair."

Aika gave up at that point. Her mother always knew what was going on and what she was thinking. Escape would be impossible. So she found herself getting her dark blue hair put into a French braid all the while mumbling about how unfair life was. Her mother couldn't have been happier.

Its spring 2027 and Shinji is crawling out of his Eva for the first time in over 4 years. The battle against Tabris had been long and grueling. His was the only Eva still operational and he knew that several of his fellow pilots were dead. Every time he could feel the life slipping from them, he shed more tears. As he fell out of his entry plug his plummet to earth was hard and fast. He heard a few things snap after the thud, but was far too tired to care.

Asuka was gone, as was Hikari, Benjamin Stilworth, Miguel Salazar and Banji Duku. Unit 00 was out of action, but he knew his wife was still alive, she had to be. Never had two Evangelion units been destroyed in any fight, tonight it had been six. But with the fall of Tabris the threat was over, as was the war. But this was a small comfort to Shinji Ikari, with the outcome of today's battle, he had no one left. Touji, Kensuke, Soran Ibrahim, Miles O'Connell, and a handful more had already given their lives in the fight.

As he curled up into a ball and cried, a severe pain started at the back of his head and progressed forward until he felt as if his bran was trying to escape from his eye sockets. It was then that he realized that he could no longer see, a revelation followed soon after by a wet spot spreading inside of his depressurized plugsuit. He began to scramble frantically as he could feel his heart beating in his ears while the outside world became white noise.

Rei Ikari flew across the battlefield on six wings of light, panic rising inside of her. As soon as the fight had ended she felt dread creep into her as she reached out with her mind to touch Shinji's. The black hole that seemed to be spreading from him terrified the angel and as she touched down by his side the blood pouring from his eyes only confirmed her fear. But as she called out to him, he did not respond, his rising screams the only sign that he could sense anything at all.

As the wings erupted from his back and began to carry off his seemingly lifeless body Rei could only stare in amazement at the scene in front of her. As he ascended into the heavens her entire world began to fade to white as a feeling of euphoria swept over her.

January 1st 2016 NERV dorms, Building 4 room 02

As Rei sprang up in bed, she reached up to her face and felt warm tears streaming down it. She sighed as she pulled her knees to her chest, and curled into a ball, not wanting to face the day. It was six in the morning; she was already thirty minutes late for the usual morning role call. Just what she wanted: to get yelled at again. Unfortunately this had not been a new or isolated incident, given how the last month plus of her life had gone.

How a woman her age could so horribly misread someone she had known for so long boggled her mind to this day. Rei had a two PhD's and was one of the smartest women of her day, but for something as simple as human interaction she seemed to be hopelessly lost. It's not every day that you lose your best friend of over 35 years in an instant, and she had little drive to seek out someone who was in the same situation to compare notes about how to fix things.

Up until his rejection, the entire event had seemed magical. We're talking old school Disney movie stuff here. Her knight in shining armor descended from upon high confident, happy, proud, and in her eyes an Adonis. He had greeted her warmly and she had reacted instinctively, her long quashed feelings getting the better of her in a time of celebration. When he hadn't reacted negatively for the first few moments she had though she might float away. Letting her presumption, expectations, and delusions soar she had basically jammed her tongue down his throat.

Not in the least bit graceful, but rather full of lust, she wanted him in the worse way. Had she had the time and he willing, she would have taken him right there. A lifetime of suppressed emotions and her youthful hormones overcame her in a moment of weakness, and now she suffered from the fallout of her mistake.

As time passed, with her wallowing in self pity, she finally had spent her tears and managed to languidly crawl from bed. It was 6:21, but she didn't care anymore, her phone had been ringing on and off for a while now. Undoubtedly her CO's looking for her, but if you were going to be late why not go for broke?

The only reason she got up at all was that she didn't want them to barge into her room and have to face them there. In her current state of mind she really couldn't be held accountable for their physical wellbeing.

As she made her way to the bathroom she stood in her mirror and looked herself over. Instead of seeing a young woman who was well on her way to becoming a head turner, she saw only ugliness. Whether it was how she felt on the inside or how she thought Shinji might see her didn't matter as she turned away in disgust. After staring up her shower and waiting for the water to warm she stood motionless under its powerful spray and her mind wandered.

In the three weeks of Shinji's captivity there were a lot of questions from all of Shinji's new friends in the academy. Having to constantly lie to them bothered her immensely, but she knew it was not only her duty but that her freedom was on the line. She had considered telling Hikari the truth, but found no need to. The girl was a lot more perceptive than others gave her credit for and she had figured out the lie on her own.

Luckily Hikari knew the stakes and didn't ask about anything, but did let it be known that she knew the truth was being obscured. As time went on and Shinji was still 'on medical leave' people began to drift away from her. It seems that the majority of her new friends were only looking for a way to get on Shinji's good side. Warming up to his best friend seemed like a good place to start right?

But really who needs fair weather friends anyway? She knew the score with the people who really mattered. Hikari and thus by proxy Touji and Kensuke stayed around and became her support network. Rei considered them that because it had become harder and harder as the days turned into weeks to keep up her happy new Rei visage. She considered her mood worse now than ever before, and she struggled to not push the last people who would associate with her away.

It was introspective times like this when Rei wondered why this turn of events had affected her so much. She had suffered far worse in her long life, and moved past all of those events, so why not this one? If she admitted to her miscalculation and asked Shinji for his forgiveness why would he not acquiesce? They had known each other for so long, laughed and suffered together, triumphed and failed many times, so what was this in the grand scheme? But it always came back to the deal. An oath they swore long ago, that had held for over 30 years, that she had broken.

That and the look.

She had only seen him like that once before in his life. Shinji had suffered from anger issues for many years after the war and she had been privy to tirades, violent outbursts, threats and accusations. But that specific look terrified her as much now as it had when she was twenty. It was on this day that she finally figured out why it horrified her so, it reminded her of his father. It was a look she had seen on his face numerous times, but with him it seemed to fit, it fit his inner ugliness.

But on Shinji it was more akin to a mirror, or perhaps more accurately a window. A window to what seemed to lie in the inner heart of all Ikari men. Shinji had never struck Rei, no matter what she had done or said to him in her life. Never once had it ever crossed his mind. Rei knew this because she could read him like a book, at least she had been able to at one time. She had heard word of Shinji and Asuka's fights; they were almost legendary. But even then Asuka had never mentioned any kind of physical repercussion from his side, but after seeing that look on his face she now wondered if Asuka hid her physical scars as well as Rei hid her mental ones.

With no confidant to discuss plans for the battle with Ramiel, Rei had to fill her time with as many idle actions as possible, anything to pass the time. Being left alone to stew in her own juices was a very bad idea. Her one big break had been drawing Hikari into her love for swimming. It had begun as a way for Hikari to firm up, Rei's idea on her behalf as a present to Touji. Everyone who had a brain knew that they were now together and although they tried to hide it for some unknown reason, Rei was doing her best to usher it along.

It was not lost on her how she was trying so hard to make sure another relationship succeed, as her most important one was currently in shambles. Overcompensation? Perhaps, but it was good for Hikari so Rei was able to ignore her own selfishness.

So it was laps by the hundreds and scheming for a future she had no want to meet anymore that composed the majority of our blue haired heroin's life for the three weeks of Shinji's incarceration. As the appointed day came Hikari had told her to be there. Rei had slipped the day before and gave away her knowledge about his release. Hikari, being who she is, dragged a lot out of a near despondent Rei. She had been mortified of how Shinji may react upon seeing her again, Hikari knew another rejection may be too much for her to handle, but had still said knowing was better than wondering forever.

Rei found herself waiting outside NERV's new barber on December 13th waiting for Shinji to emerge from his shave and haircut. She thought it might be inappropriate to wait for him outside of the men's shower, so here she sat. As he exited he noticed her obviously waiting for his exit. He gave her a nod, but spoke only one word, "Ayanami." She followed him down the hall trying to get some sort of apology across, but kept aborting her sentences. Either rambling on or stumbling over her words, the entire scene was an embarrassment and through it all Shinji kept moving. His pace was leisurely, but his gaze always forward, not even acknowledging her presence.

As he entered the elevator she tried to follow, but was physically forbade entrance by Shinji. He never made eye contact with her. She later found out that he went from there to a meeting with his father. It seems he was to be court-martialed. Rei would later find out that Shinji tried to kill his father as soon as he saw him. Thought easily overcome, Gendo praised his killer instinct and drive to succeed in the face of all logic. Using it as a pretext for the decision he had made days ago, he let Shinji stay on duty.

"Focus yourself on the destruction of your enemies and when this is over we will have our reckoning. Patience is a virtue my son." It was the first time in his life that Shinji believed that his father was speaking to him with pride. Whether he should be happy about that or not escaped him for the moment.

Shinji agreed and swore he would look forward to the war's end. Gendo and he exchanged smiles that were eerily the same and then the meeting was over.

'He has much to learn, but he's getting there.' Gendo mused to himself before wondering aloud about what Shinji's attitude would be when the true purpose of this war was revealed to him.

As Rei finished her usual morning ritual with little conscience thought. It was not until she found herself halfway to the morning's first class, which she would be arriving at half way through, that she seemed to come out of her haze. Being here and jumping through these pointless hoops was the last thing she wanted to do anymore. The charade had felt useless for a while now, but she kept it up, knowing that to just come clean would certainly seal the deal on her and Shinji's friendship.

But in reality didn't that already look to be the case?

Things went as she had figured they would, a public berating, a demerit, what ever the hell that really amounted to, and a very unpleasant meeting with the commander later in the day. But she ignored everything said to her, all of the looks and whispers, and the entirety of the day's class. What did any of it matter when she could kill this entire classroom with a mere thought? 'I wonder if they would yell at me if they knew I could dissociate their souls from their bodies as easily as they breathe.' While certainly a morose thought, it didn't make it any less valid.

She fell asleep in the class and no one said a word. It was as if they didn't even notice.

Excerpts from the video diary of Hikari Horaki, December 2nd

I have had this hunch for a while since Shinji stopped showing up for class and not only Cpt. Wa, but Rei as well started to make excuses for his absence. That coupled with the fact that the end of the encounter with the fourth angel has been held from us for security reasons.

What I think is that they did something to the angel or with their Eva's that they either weren't supposed to or weren't supposed to know how to do. I know Ikari is alive because I think that if he was dead that Rei would be just a husk of a person. I'm pretty sure by this point that she's hopelessly in love with him. I know he doesn't know it, but I'm not surprised. Most guys are thick like that, I know that first hand.

My only question is does Rei understand, or is she trying to hide it from not only him, but herself.

P.S. I think Rei is a machine or a monster or something. She's the fastest swimmer I've ever seen and she can do laps forever. The only time she seems comfortable in her own skin anymore is when we are at the pool. I'm just glad that something seems to get her spirits up these days. I think her mood is tied to Shinji's absence, just more validation for my woman's intuition.

December 11th

My best friend is lying to me. It's a hard pill to swallow, but I know she knows where Shinji is, why he's there, and when he's getting back. But as far as I can tell no one wants us, me and my compatriots, to know this. So I can't be sure if she found out on accident, was told, or is the cause of his predicament.

Having so many questions and no answers is hard but if she knows and isn't supposed to, talking to her about it could get us both in a lot of trouble. So I have to hope that she's not doing this maliciously. When I see her later today I will try to let her know that I know something is up. But doing so and not giving myself away when I know we are being watched by people who's job it is to know things that others try to keep hidden… well, all I can do is try my best, right?

Who knows, maybe I can help. I have to try; Rei just hasn't been the same since Shinji 'left.' She's getting distant again and you can just read the sense of her throwing in the towel on her face and in her body language. She's also stopped taking care of her self hygienically; one of the reasons that before Shinji got here no one would have anything to do with her.

About the only time we spend together now is swimming. I'm doing it to get into better shape, for her it's a coping mechanism. I don't even think she's enjoying it these days.

When I ask her about it she just keeps denying that anything's wrong. I straight up told her I knew that was a lie, but she just keeps up this silly farce. It's so frustrating, I just don't know what to do with her some days. What kind of friendship is it when you can't even trust one another? The oddest part is that the more she pushes me away the more she's trying to push me and Touji together. I don't have the heart to tell her that we've been secretly seeing each other for a few weeks now.

I'm just rambling now.

December 12th

Well today I finally got something out of Rei. It was an accident, but at least it shows that she was in fact affected by the situation and wanted my help on some level. What essentially happened was that while we were in the showers after our afternoon laps I caught her just standing there fidgeting with her nails, trying to clean the gunk that had accumulated under them.

Really the fact that she was in the shower at all really should have set off alarms. It had been the first time she had joined me there. She usually just dried off, put on her clothes and left chlorine in her hair and the whole deal. When I asked her why she was digging so intently she clammed up and left the shower.

Knowing that I had said something wrong, I let it slide until I got done and then tried to probe a bit deeper while I was drying off. She had already finished getting dressed and was trying to walk out of the changing room. I asked her about Shinji, the one thing I knew would get her to pause.

I asked her if she was going to go see him. Her reply was something along the lines of "He wouldn't want to see me" so I thought that he was already out. When I asked her about why he hasn't show back up if he's already back from his "training" I could tell that she was trying to think of a lie. Her eyes darted along the floor and her mouth hung open for a moment, so I answered for her.

"He's not out yet, but he will be soon won't he? That's why you were cleaning your nails."

I watched Rei become incredibly uncomfortable and begin to chew her bottom lip. When she tried to run I got a hold of her right sleeve and held on for dear life. It was bizarre, like a petulant child trying to escape its parent after being told no. After a few good tries she just sort of gave up and started to gaze at her shoes.

I felt horrible for doing that to her, but I knew that I had to try something. She was drowning in misery. I had almost got to the point where I was going to report her for being suicidal.

She just slumped to the ground like a puppet with its string cut. Slumped there behind the door we sat and talked for a really long time. Once she started talking it took very little to keep her going. It's surprising what a bit of empathy can do for those who desperately want to reach out, but won't let themselves do so.

It had occurred to me that the things we were talking about had to be highly classified, but when I asked her about reprisal she just said they don't record here. How she knew that or any of the other things she blurted really bothers me. She knows so much. Is it because she's an active pilot or is it something more? That was one thing I never asked and don't think I ever will, if I did I'm guessing our friendship would be over. Besides I think I can use her for inside info from now on, I just need to know how to ask in a way that she would feel comfortable with.

I just hope she follows through with what I said and makes herself presentable. If Shinji is like any other guy I've ever known, you dress the right way, give him the right looks or a little peak and he's putty.

December 25th

Shinji got out on the 13th and I thought that finally things may start to get back to normal. Boy was I wrong. All of the people who stopped hanging out with Rei or just plain socializing with her at all while Shinji was gone haven't returned. She tried to start being friendly again, but it's just so forced and unnatural now that it ranges from annoying to creepy. With the way that she and Shinji have been, none of the other candidates seem to want to make that first step and reach out again. I think that all of the new friends she made were only being nice to her because Shinji was and he's the new popular kid.

The more I learn about my classmates the less I like them and the more I fear for our chances in the war. And I've grown up with some of these guys. I guess you never really know someone huh? That kind of thought makes me wonder about whether her first change was real or fabricated or what, but that's a bleak path I don't want to start down. At least not right now.

The truth is that I'm afraid of what she might do if I confront her about it. That and she's my best friend . . . I have to trust her. She needs me now more than ever so I can't be lacking in the compassion department. I thought we had connected again before Shinji got out, but his rejection caused a complete relapse.

When I talked to her about her encounter with Shinji she either evades the topic or gives me non committal answers. Touji says I have the patience of a saint and that I've put up with Rei's weirdness for long enough. Shinji seems to have completely distanced himself from her for what appears to be no reason at all. I told Touji to dig into that with Shinji and he said that Shinji told him it was nothing.

Men are so transparent it's sad, even worse is that Touji bought that and just dropped it. I swear I have no idea why I put up with him.

And so it's gone that Rei avoids Shinji after seemingly wanting nothing more than to see him again, and Shinji acts as if Rei never existed. I'm starting to think that she might have confessed to him when he got out and it blew up in her face. She's too embarrassed to see him or tell me and for some reason Shinji, well I really can't explain what or why Shinji is doing what he is. He's simple and random, great combo there, and outside of his looks I can't figure out what Rei sees in him anymore.

January 1st 2016

It's been a really busy week for me, so where to begin?

Both Misato's and Touji's birthday parties came and went with a no show from Rei. I invited her to both and pleaded with her to at least come to Touji's after she didn't go to Misato's. But her fear of contact with Shinji kept her away. When I asked her about it she apologized and just started to frown. I could tell that she had wanted to go, but just couldn't bring herself to do it.

Her attitude is really getting to be a bit annoying, I don't get the damsel in distress bit. She's acting like she can't possibly exist without Shinji, like some sort of parasite. I could understand being down for a while, but this is starting to get ridiculous. Her bad vibes have started to bring me down even. Kensuke noticed it yesterday and I realized that he was right. Kind of mad that my boyfriend didn't notice it first, but then again its Touji I'm talking about here.

But a bit of good news is that Misato and Mr. Hyuga finally decided to be open with their relationship. As expected all the women knew and all the men were clueless, I just hope it doesn't get them in trouble. He's a direct subordinate of hers during combat; they both know that it's strictly forbidden. It's happy news, yes, but I really hope it doesn't blow up in their faces. They make such a cute couple.

After classes today instead of going to the natatorium, I got Rei to come with me out to one of the Geofront botanical gardens. After they shut the upper city, HQ really changed. Where before it seemed so dreary, artificial and lifeless, now it's normal, I guess that's how I would describe it. My best guess was that they needed to make it less depressing to be here since we're all stuck for the foreseeable future. Whatever the reason, I had been making full use of the new facilities recently.

I wonder where they got all the people to do this and keep it all up. Maybe they hired some of the uppers before they all left. I mean, it makes sense, but what about all the security risks that non military personal would bring in? Why am I even saying any of this? I'm actually vocalizing my mental tangents to myself.

Well moving on to why I was doing any of this, my talk with Rei. What it basically boiled down to is that she's really worried about Shinji. She said his time away really changed him. I asked her how she knows that considering she won't even look him in the eyes anymore. All she would tell me is that she knows him, but I don't get it. She's known him for as long as we have, there's something about her voice when she says it. It basically screams mysterious-I-know-more-than-I'm-letting-on.

When I asked her where he had been she just says that she can't tell me, for my own good. I mean really, could she be laying it on any thicker? Or making me anymore interested? It's like she wants me to find out somehow. All I know is that where ever he was, Rei thinks of it as a bad place to be, so of course that means he must have done something wrong. But what? Hell if I know. She won't tell me that either.

I told her that the obvious course of action if she was scared for him, would be to confront him with her fears. She half ass mumbled her way through some reasons she couldn't do that. I swear sometimes she makes it so hard to be her friend.

But being the sucker I am I told her that I would talk to him about it. That made her pull a 180, I hadn't seen her that happy in well over a month. At first I thought that this had been her entire goal, to get me to do it for her. But after the way she acted I don't know anymore. Rei just seems so lost now, but it's just not her. She didn't strike me as the male dependent type before, there are women like that in class and Rei is nothing like them. It's something deeper than that, but I can't guess what.

We talked about a lot of other stuff, but the other thing that stuck out to me was when we talked about the rest of our class. She knows what the others think of her, but she said she doesn't care. Her words were 'I know which people matter and which don't. I keep the ones who do close and the rest can disappear.' When I told her that's not a healthy way to think of things she just gave me this knowing look and said something about how she knows what she's doing.

That after she spazzed over an obvious option just a few minutes before, I don't think I will ever figure Rei out.

January 23rd 2016

I think I finally understand what Rei was talking about when she told me that something was different with Shinji. Yesterday Shinji beat the living hell out of Touji. Not in the traditional sense, but rather in the close quarters combat session yesterday. Bren, Lt. Ernst I mean, said he was really proud of Shinji's rapid improvement. It was surreal to me, I mean the Shinji I thought I knew was pretty passive when he wasn't in his Eva.

But yesterday he systematically dismantled Touji in four straight matches. Touji looked the most confused of anybody there. He still congratulated Shinji . . . hell, this morning he talked about Shinji like he was his kid or something. It has to be some sort of male pride thing.

Note to self, men are stupid.

But it was funny when Shinji tried to challenge Lt. Ernst. I think the fight lasted five seconds before Shinji was unconscious. When he woke up the Lt. just told him to be ever mindful that there is always someone better. Shinji had some choice words for him, but the Lt. just smiled, said something in German, and walked off. The weird part was that I think Shinji understood him. At least his reaction seemed to say that. Who knows, maybe that Asuka girl taught him some or something.

But yesterday is just the culmination of my recent observations. After Rei's concern over Shinji's actions I started watching him a lot closer to try and see what she saw. The more and the closer you watch him things stop adding up. I think it starts with the aura he gives off now.

He just seems so confident, it's not arrogant, it's hard to explain. He just seems so, I don't know confident or wise or something, it's as if he just knows that if he tells you to jump, you would say 'how high?'. Like I said I can't put my figure on it really. Almost the entire corps seems glued to him like he's some sort of hero now. Where just before his disappearance they crapped all over his performance, now they always bend what they said to make it sound better. I don't understand all this ass kissing. I mean it not just the guys either; he's beating off my gender with a stick it seems.

Yet again I just don't see it.

But what I have seen backs up something Rei said was when he and Lt. Aoba were sitting in front of the officer's lounge playing guitar together. I know Shinji doesn't own one and the ones he could have gotten from above are all gone now. But he told me that he bought it and a few others from Aoba, apparently during the exodus all the shops were just liquidating their stocks. Aoba went on a spree and spent his entire life saving on music stuff.

He said that we may all be dead tomorrow so what's the use of savings? Kind of morose, but I guess he's right. The instruments give him instant gratification, so why not really? But I don't think I could ever give in to that sort of defeatist attitude. I'm going to need my savings for my future with Touji.

They were playing for a long time, as I and an ever growing group of people just started sitting around. But the two of them just ignored everyone else, just talking to each other about things like progressions, meter, tempo and a bunch of lingo that was completely lost one me. They would play a song talk about a new one, retune the guitars for it, spend a minute or two working through certain parts of it and then play the song and pick a new one and so on. Most of them were foreign songs too, Aoba said that he and Shinji preferred them. I haven't even heard of most of the stuff they played. I remember that some of the bands they talked about were called weird things like the Police, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Queen, Radiohead, Pink Floyd, David Bowie and some others. They played for more than three hours.

You would think that it was some sort of planned concert, but really they were just naming songs off the top of their heads and playing them. No vocals, just the two of them 'jamming' as they called it. I've never been much of a music person so I think some of it was lost on me, but it was enjoyable. The point is that it was a very un Shinji-like thing to do.

Even at that party when he was playing for people he was obviously nervous and embarrassed. So I had to ask myself, which one's the real Shinji Ikari, the shy boy at the party, or the open one 'jamming' at the lounge? The more I learn about the other pilots the odder things become. Thank god Kensuke and Touji are simple.

End of current Journal enteries.

February 19th 2016

As the command staff, active pilots, and assorted section officers left the conference hall there was no lack of hushed whispers, rumors, and agitation floating in the air. Unit 03 would be delivered from America in early April, not only that but the entirety of NERV 2's personnel and Magi 4. With the loss of Unit 4 and NERV 2's valuable personnel it was the committee's evaluation that the enemies of NERV were too strong in America and had them relocated to the Geofront.

There were various reasons why this was a good idea. Included in those was the fact that the MIT branch was the second largest NERV branch after the Central Dogma. They had unit 03, an almost completed 05 and a larger group of pilots than even the HQ. There had apparently been talk of just bringing all of NERV to Japan and stationing most of them at Matsushiro. NERV 3 in Hamburg was already huge considering it was holding the Magi 3 and 5 as well as all of Berlins remaining personal.

It was simply too expensive and difficult to move it all logistically. When Beijing refused to move, that had been a really bad situation. It was obvious by what was said at the briefing that there was a schism forming between the different branches.

The committee remained silent.

This news had been a big blow to Shinji. With Hamburg's decision it was projected that their Unit's, pilots and other personnel that had been on schedule to arrive before the end of what would have been Spring, had been pushed back for 2 years. To say Shinji was distraught was putting it lightly.

Rei knew before even looking at Shinji that he would be heartbroken. He said nothing, just sort of started off into infinity for a second before gazing at his shoes for the rest of the meeting and his exit. Kensuke had tried to talk to him, but was ignored. Hikari and Touji were chatting excitedly and then waylaid Katsuragi with questions of all kinds of now relevant tactical and logistical questions.

Their eagerness was annoying to the Major since they had no idea the hell they were about to get themselves into. But their curiosity did signify that they had a want and willingness to learn, so she fielded the never ending string of queries as best as she could as they made their way to her office.

Ken and Shinji plodded off together, but alone. Kensuke had found himself increasingly a third wheel with Touji and Hikari. He didn't want things to be hard for his best friend, so he left them to themselves for the most part. This of course led to extreme boredom and solitude; Touji and Hikari had been his only real friends. He had acquaintances in the class, but not the kind he would want to hang around with on a day to day basis. So he now spent most of his time basically letting Shinji beat the hell out of him.

He calls it training, but really it's just Shinji man-handling him. It's not that Ken has no martial talent and can't control an Eva, it's just that Shinji is so much better at it. Ken's ambition though might bear some fruit since there was now an open competition for the seat in unit 03. Unit 05 already had a pilot whose identity was being kept secret. Her training in America would be over soon, but not in time for her branches departure. She was being sent to Beijing to finalize her training much to the chagrin of the commander, though it was expected that she would arrive no later than a few weeks after the rest of her branch.

After the entire room had cleared, Rei still sat in her seat, this changed things drastically. It had been the first major deviation from the world she knew. Yes the time difference was an issue, but really most things had followed the formula, just at greater intervals. But this was a true curveball. And instead of discussing their options and ideas at length Shinji had sulked off like a kicked puppy and Rei just sat, watching him go.

There was a lot of sifting to do, lots of new bits to fit into place. On the day after Hikari's birthday party and the cataclysm that it had become, this was not how Rei had wanted to spend her day. What she wouldn't give to be Hikari right now. She had blind ignorant bliss, complete faith in their cause and their chances, a loving boyfriend and many other things. Greatest of all these, Rei thought, being the companion.

Now she had no aspirations for Touji, far from it. But Hikari had lost her virginity the night before. No one had told her and really they had hid it well. She wouldn't have known if she wasn't who she was, little bits of info just tend to scream out to her because of her unique situation. She could smell him on her not in the literal sense, but to her they might have well been caring around signs.

It was something that Rei, by this point, needed. It was far beyond a want, it was a physical craving. The soul inside of her yearned for Shinji, telling her that he belonged to her. But it was that voice that had put her in this situation in the first place, she should have known better. Lillith was never to be trusted.

After adequately clearing her head Rei rose and left the room silently. If she was going to be alone she had much to do before Bardiel's arrival. She had to save Touji to save Hikari, and save Hikari to save herself. Everyone was codependent it seemed, so much would be lost if she couldn't stop the wheels of fate. But this is what they had been sent back for right? To make things better?

Well here was her chance, and regardless of how bad off she was, this had to be done. If Touji died again then all of her suffering will be in vain.

And time goes on.

February 28th 2016 8:14 PM Japan Time

…. "I'm not even really sure what to say to you now. There are so many things I want to say to you, that we both know I can't. This whole thing is getting to me…I…"

"I know Shinji. I asked for a week of leave time, but I was told that it's too much of a security risk. At least they let us do this right?" Asuka and Shinji sat in front of their respective computers talking over a private video link. They both knew that it really wasn't private at all, but it was better than the phone at least. A few weeks ago this would have been a very upbeat conversation, but not today.

Seeing each other and the disappointment that was written on their faces just made them sadder. It was almost crueler to be so close, but yet so far away, temporally and distance wise. A lot of silence with awkward attempts at conversation punctuated the evening. Asuka had found out about her delay two days after Shinji and had, by sheer force of will, gotten the clearance to open NERV computers to the outside world even if it was from NERV property to NERV property.

"I took some pictures of myself that I wanted to save for when we got this set up. I had grander plans for us than this pity fest." Her verbiage has its usual flair, but no power behind the words. Asuka felt like an army wife whose husband just got volunteered for another tour of duty. While Shinji's situation had only recently eroded, Asuka's had been shit since day one. She needed the trip to Japan.

As the file finished sending Shinji began to smile for the first time in their conversation.

"I got that just for this picture. I figured you might like that dark charcoal color." Asuka smiled in response to Shinji and was glad she had remembered correctly. Shinji had always said that it was a better color on her than red, the long sleeved shirt did have red sleeves, but it was a start. He knew she had done that for him. There are odd things in life that for some reason you never forget. No matter how old you get certain seemingly meaningless words, places, actions, whatever they are, they just stick.

This was one of the few that they shared. That Asuka had chosen this meeting to spring it on Shinji hit him hard.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She paused a moment before taking her eyes off the camera to do some work. A few moments later another file reached Shinji. It was Asuka in her favorite yellow sundress standing in shin high water surrounded by some wreckage.

"Where are you?"

"As best as I could tell I'm standing in the middle of what was once my room." Life had returned back to her voice just glad to get some positive emotion from her lover. Since his time in confinement he had been dour, drawing her ire about him ruining his second chances. The amount of things they could get across with minimal words was truly impressive. But when you know someone as well as they did, for as long as they have, you just pick things up from your partner.

In no uncertain terms she had let him know that his pouting would not be acceptable. This of course made him more defensive and ruined several recent calls. But desperation after the recent transfer bombshell had wiped out their ongoing spat.

"How did you get the camera up there?" Shinji asked in response to the high vantage point of the photo.

"Through no small amount of personal peril, I scaled the side of a concrete pillar. Tied a string to the camera to get it down, there was no way I was climbing up there again," Asuka said. Proud of her ingenuity, she was literally puffing out her chest. "I think it was a most practical and efficient method, don't you?"

"Yes, very German of you," he said. Even though he was teasing her it still made her get that warm feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Hey now mister, watch that tongue of yours. If you don't when I get there I'll make you pay." She waged a finger at him and for a moment they locked eyes. Shinji put his hand onto his computer screen as if Asuka was on the other side of pane of prison glass.

"This is incredibly stupid. You know that right? And you look ridiculous." Asuka flipped some errant hair over her right shoulder as she admonished his childish gesture.

"Yep," was his simple reply.

Asuka placed her hand on her screen and she began to glow. Her smile took over her face and they stayed like that for over a minute. They talked until well after midnight.

In another room, Misato sighed as she watched her screen. Watching the two of them set their hands on their screens, despite being half a world away, was touching and made her feel dirty for spying. She turned off her computer and let them have whatever semblance of privacy she could afford them. They deserved it.

March 15th 2016

As time passed the new status quo set in as it always does. The things that people once found jarring were common place, almost to be expected. Various announcements were made by "Lt." Ikari to the people of the world telling them of the bright future NERV was preparing for all of them. As they usually do, the people ate up the good news, anything to tell them it's going to be all right. NERV offered to get rid of the boogie monsters under their beds, and when they were done, get humanity on course towards a bright future.

The feel good stuff had some detractors, like it always does. Although in fact they were the only ones raising a viable alarm, the court of public opinion was against them. The fact that they were right for the wrong reasons was pointless. They were shunned to the very rim of society, easy to get rid of, but like a plague their word would inevitably spread elsewhere to take root and be raised again.

SEELE took great pleasure is treating them like cockroaches and crushing them accordingly. Drunk on their own power they played god as Gendo worked his way steadily towards the true goal. The human race would be sacrificed to fulfill his needs, until his success or death, whichever came first.

This web of manipulation would put string theory to shame in its complexity, each man thinking he was on top. Shinji and Rei watched and knew how it went, having seen it all unravel and explode upon the world. They could do nothing to change the flow of information and lies, but knowing the connections let them stay one step ahead… although separately.

Would Shinji join forces with his father? Would Rei fall prey to her angelic nature and destroy humanity? Their separation bred distrust in the depth of the night. But on this day all that had to be set aside.

Gendo ordered the release of Unit 01 at 1400 hours on this day.

Shinji felt elation at his chance to be close to Yui again. That and he had several things he needed to test out on his own. The limits of his new power needed to be pushed, so when he needed them most, he would not be found lacking. But that would require time and quiet, something he knew he would have little of for the next few weeks.

As the simulations and tests came in wave after wave, Shinji grinned and bore it like the good soldier he needed to be. Misato thanked him for his patience as did Maya; Dr. Akagi was a bitch, like always. It occurred to Shinji that Maya was a waste as a lesbian and as Rit's little fuck toy. She would have made a good wife, he mused to himself. But that had to be pushed to the back of his mind.

As he knew he would Shinji surpassed all expectation with the new configuration. No matter how high they set the difficulty in the VR combat he always won, he could take the entire class of pilot candidates at once now. They looked to Rei to save them, but she could not raise her hand against Shinji with any real venom. He knew it and seemed to take pleasure in her dispatching.

The pace and focus of Shinji's tests changed drastically, to what end he had no idea. The important part to him was that he was not allowed the time he needed to converse with his mother. Every time he could clear his mind enough to speak with her, they would drag him back. The urge to destroy everyone in the Prinbro box so he could be with his mother was strong. But Misato's presence stopped him every time. They all owed her their lives.

But this setback was temporary, and he knew that. Sooner or later he figured they would have to give him an endurance test. They had no idea how long a pilot could remain synchronized or how long it could last under different levels of exertion. That would mean lots of time above ground, plenty of chances to speak. Like all great men through history, patience would serve him well.

April 12th, Sunday 0700 hours Matsushiro, Mobile outpost 3

Unit 03 had made landfall at 0600 and was now under the guard of Unit 01 and 00. "Just in case," as Gendo had put it. The statement had unsettled Shinji and Rei both and for more than one reason.

Over the last few days they had separately sat Touji down and talked to him about what to expect. He had been appointed 03's pilot a week before much to his dismay. To all of the pilot candidates Kensuke had looked like the forerunner, but apparently had been passed over for unstated reasons.

The talks Touji had gotten were vastly different and in his head he had problems reconciling them. That the vast amount of fear and anxiousness they projected didn't help his nerves at all either. At least Hikari had been positive, telling him that he looked good in his black plugsuit.

As he shimmied his way up the makeshift gangplank into his entry plug, he paused for a moment and wished he was more religious so he would have had a god to pray to. The startup went as it should and when he finally had full control he stood up as commanded. His comrades had bazookas trained on him, their trust in his skills apparent.

"Do you guys have to do that? I mean really." His pleading mixed with annoyance.

"Orders are orders Pilot Suzuhara," came Ayanami's calm response. Rei was trying desperately to reach out into the mind of Unit 03, to see if it carried another visitor. Really any kind of information or response would have been very beneficial, but instead there was only silence.

"Can the chatter pilot," Misato's voice was authoritarian, as a CO's should be. "You have far bigger fish to fry Suzuhara. Let's see if you can make it through the first checklist without falling on your face." Reading off her clipboard Misato prattled off a long list of maneuvers. As Touji completed each task, the anticipation did not drain from either of his chaperones.

An open comm between the three units seemed a good idea from a command perspective. Let the other pilots see what everyone else does. Perhaps it would allow them a better reaction time should the Unit go berserk as 00 had in the past. But all it really did was make the tense situation even worse for Rei.

Shinji on the other hand felt totally differently. As he had been for months now he completely ignored Rei, focusing instead on his new best friend, looking for the slightest twitch, or sneer from pain. It was unsettling to him that he was looking for an opening to give him a reason to attack, but he knew it was not to injure, but to protect that he strived. He knew coordinating with Rei would make the day easier and he had finally begun to entertain the thought of speaking with her again, but every time he looked upon her all he saw was a slut.

He could only see a woman who would throw herself at him while he was weak or distracted; a woman who could not be trusted. He didn't want to think that, but her actions left him no other choice.

As the day ended Touji ejected from his Eva to a huge cheering crowd. He felt like a hero, complete with Hikari basically throwing herself at him and kissing him deeply. "You deserve that," she had told him, her pride and elation coming off in nearly visible waves. Lots of pats on the back, handshakes and salutes followed, as did the necessary debriefing.

Everything had gone off without a hitch. Misato praised Touji's aptitude, Dr. Akagi said it was due to the Americans redesigned interface being much simpler, but Touji didn't let that get him down, he was flying high. As Misato adjourned the meeting she took Touji and all the Pilots but Rei to a steak dinner she had had prepared for them by the Matsuhiro base chef. Everyone reveled in life above ground and things were good.

The tech staff, including Makoto, had an additional meeting to attend on how to upgrade the two earlier models to the new system and so were not included in the party. Rei had regretfully turned down the invitation after receiving a glare from Shinji that screamed 'Don't you dare come and ruin this for me.'

Although sad at her isolation while the entire base celebrated, Rei did spend the night conversing with Gendo. He had grilled her on her thoughts about the new unit and its pilot. He asked about her attempt to speak with the Eva and all of the other tasks she had been assigned that day. He said very little, but deemed her effort adequate and thanked her for her service. They ate alone that evening and both the meal and his company was oddly pleasant, the last thing she had expected.

Rei did not sleep that night. Touji's success was a tremendous victory and although she was incredibly happy, she knew she couldn't show it. At least not in the capacity she wished, so she made a point to personally congratulate him on his success the next day as they made their way back home. She knew she needed, and wanted, to share in Hikari's happiness and that she could do much to accelerate Touji's proficiency with the unit. Until Bardiel came, his assistance would guarantee easy victories, and right now she needed those.

Bardiel, what to do then?

April 13th 2016

When you have otherworldly powers the likes of which could destroy entire civilizations and capabilities you have never pushed the boundaries of, doing things the hard way seems ludicrous. But as Rei sat in her quarters she debated trying a mind wipe on Shinji. If she could erase the events of their fateful encounter, then things could get back to normal. They certainly had matters to confer about, but weighing the risks involved verses the rewards wasn't going well.

Since she had never even attempted something of this magnitude, the chance she could leave him a vegetable was massive. That or she could end up out right killing him, perhaps erasing the memories of their original life, or any countless other complications. So it came to be that she had to bite the bullet and finally confront her former best friend.

Even when you're a demigod you can be fearful. In the back of her mind Rei knew that there was almost no way this could end well. Her worst fears would be that he would go into one of his rages during a heated argument and hit her. She feared that she would kill him by reaction, for her it would take little more than a thought. But she hadn't seen him completely lose it in decades.

So she waged war against herself internally, as she made a beeline to him. He was currently with Touji, Kensuke and Satsuki Ooi in the 2nd test plug array. She could feel him, even from half a kilometer away. Upon her arrival Major Katsuragi informed her that it would be 45 minutes before they were done with the session.

1430 hours . . . so close and yet so far as the saying goes.

So Rei sat at attention, out of sight of the command deck cameras. She didn't want to alarm or upset Shinji by appearing behind Misato when she was giving orders. Misato put her appearance into the back of her mind and continued on with the exercise. Things had been going so smoothly recently in both her personal and professional life that she considered asking Shinji if it was ok for Makoto to move in.

She knew he would say it was fine regardless of how he felt because he knew it would make her happy. So it was this fact that kept her from asking, perhaps sooner or later Shinji would bring it up. Besides, it's not like it was a big deal. He lived a four minute walk from her front door already. Her life was in its golden age and it seemed to be rubbing off on Shinji. Outside of dealing with Rei he had really manned up and taken to his role. She had been so proud of him and his emotional progress. She had become so use to what had been a beneficial, if abrupt, change in temperament, that it almost seemed as if he had always been that way.

All of her earlier alarm had fallen by the wayside, in fact she liked this new Shinji even more than the old one. She had chalked her original view to shock and not wanting to lose her 'little boy.' He was not yet fifteen, but in her eyes he had already become a man. 'So this is what it feels like to be a mother.' She had though to herself not even a few days ago.

Hell even Gendo had acknowledged her fraternizing and basically given it his ok. 'As long as it doesn't affect either of your performances I see no reason to force you apart. You would just see each other secretly if I did, I'm not stupid.' He had threatened to personally execute them in front of the rest of the command staff if they proved even a minor inconvenience to the operation of NERV in any way. He always seemed eager to kill his own people, Misato never understood that. Seems a thing you threaten your friends with in jest right? She somehow doubted his ability to make humorous statements.

Understand Gendo Ikari, yeah good luck with that.

But back to story A.

As the session ended, Rei made herself scarce until the pilots had gone into the showers. After donning his black pants and shoes Shinji pulled a blue t shirt that had the Olympic rings on it from his duffle bag and left to find Rei waiting outside, sitting in a folding chair she had dragged from some unlucky workers room. She had greeted the other pilots as they left, Shinji being the last out. His response to her greeting was silence, they just stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

"I was wondering when this would happen," Shinji said as he walked off, down the left corridor to a destination only he knew. He spoke with an air of resignation, not pleased at all with this occurrence.

After a myriad of twists and turns, Rei found herself exiting Central Dogma proper and heading towards the recently unearthed area of the Geofront. Before the expulsion of the Tokyo 3 civilians was complete, a project was undertaken to remove the massive quantities of dirt and sand that covered the southern half of the dome. The space would be needed to accommodate the influx of new personnel, especially now with the arrival of NERV 1.

Their walk was dead silent and very long, over two kilometers. As they reached the outskirts of the new construction, it was called new but was in fact nearly complete, Shinji stopped, and scanning the area, chose a bench off to his right. The recently paved road they had been on was lined on both sides with tram rails that looked to be operational. To the far side, in relation to the four lane road, was a dense row of trees. Shinji didn't know what kind they were and didn't care, the fact that Rei would know and he only had to ask did little to raise his interest. Every twenty or so meters there was a simple wooden and wrought iron bench, the kind you would find in a city park.

The area was dead quiet, it's personal all busy with the new Evangelion. Tomorrow they would be back and in a week the construction would be done. Soon this place, like the rest of the Geofront, would be bustling and Shinji would hate it as well.

"Ok let's get this over with so I can get back. I still need to practice some and call Asuka later. You remember Asuka right? Mother of my three children and all that," he said. His words were meant to hurt, but he sounded more annoyed than angry, like all of this was a waste of his time.

"I'm not here to make excuses if that what your implying." Rei said as she mustered her courage for the confrontation to come. She smoothed an imaginary wrinkle in the dress she was wearing, a pink and brown getup with the pattern being almost plaid; her under shirt was black with long sleeves.

"Well that's refreshing and all but if that's not what this is about then why did we come all the way out here?" Shinji leaned into the bench and lolled his head back to stare up at the 'sky' as he rested his arms close to his body but on top of the benches back.

"Well I was hoping to talk about Touji and Ramiel, perhaps even Bardiel." She tuned her body towards him even though no eye contact was made.

"What's there to say? Everything went fine, I saw Touji just a while ago, and he's fine. If anything he's better than fine, he seems to be on cloud nine to me. He'll learn soon enough though." Shinji was genuinely uninterested in this topic, or with talking to Rei for that matter. He was still quite upset with her.

"I'm personally taking charge of his training so he won't slow us down when Ramiel comes. Besides it's Yashima, he won't be needed at all really. All in all I don't think this could have happened at a better time. By the 6th he'll know what he's doing, besides I don't even know how we will run into Gaghiel. I'm not going to meet Asuka any time soon. So it's either a two year lull or some new freak occurrence we can't even begin to plan for. So it seems that this was indeed a totally useless trip, thanks for wasting my time." Shinji shot to his feet quickly and began a brisk walk back to his quarters.

His leaving had been so abrupt that Rei was lagging several steps behind. Her fear was long gone, now replaced with annoyance. "Stop acting like a dammed petulant child Shinji Ikari!" She yelled at his back.

He pulled a 180 without taking a step and was quickly an inch from Rei's face. "Don't you dare tell me how to act. You have no right and no precedence. I indulged your flight of fancy and now it's over, I'm not sure if you picked up on it, but I am doing my best to avoid you. The sight of you makes me so angry I could punch a hole in the nearest wall. If you don't want me to hit you then leave me be. Asuka and I will take care of things. All you really need to do is pilot until the war is over and then you can go away." His acidic words washed over Rei and at first made her feel like less that dirt, but by the end of his tirade she was just waiting for him to finish more than anything.

"Are you done now?" Rei asked flippantly. "You can talk big all you want to me, but you will not lay a finger on me and we both know it. I think you forget your place Shinji."

"Ah, so it's come to this has it? It's pretty much what I expected, what's next huh? Are you going to start referring to me as human? Has your ego inflated that much? It has to, because nothing else explains the way you've been acting." Shinji was beginning to get red in the face. He had not yelled yet but his seething anger was defiantly on the surface for all to see.

"I told you, I didn't come here to talk about that. You're the one that has derailed our conversation and tried to brush off my legitimate concerns." Rei reigned herself in a bit knowing that the only way for this to be civil would be to stay calm.

"Legitimate? All you have to do in our next fight is hold a shield. I am the one who has to avoid taking a chainsaw in the chest. Cause that's how it feels, trust me, I can remember it quite clearly. Touji will either do your job or stand around and do nothing so whoopty fuck. As for Bardiel what is there to do? It either waits its turn so we have a long time till then or it happens out of nowhere so all the planning in the world won't matter. There, are you satisfied now?" Shinji turned away from her and began his trek home yet again.

"Do you really care so little about your friends life?" Rei had been appalled at his blatant disregard for Touji or even Hikari for that matter.

"Don't you dare question my loyalty," Shinji said as he stopped, but kept his back to Rei. "If anyone here is to be questioned on their adherence to the rules of social capital it's you."

"I just don't understand how the man I know and the child I see in front of me are the same person. I don't care if everyone loves the new you, I hate it. You are not the Shinji Ikari I grew up with." Rei walked past Shinji and for the first time since his exit from the changing room and looked him dead in the eye.

"I thought that this was what we were striving for, to change things. Well I decided to make a change, and to be honest it's not really a change at all. This is how I was when I was at home with Asuka. So in fact you could say this is the real me and everything before was an act." Shinji was clearly fed up with this debacle and wanted to just push past Rei and leave. But in the back of his mind he knew he could not, if Rei wanted to talk you really didn't have much of a choice. In fact if he had been more level headed he might have noticed her rising ire.

An angry Rei is an unpredictable Rei, and no one wants that.

"We both know that's a load of bullshit. You can't say your home life was some episode of Leave it to Beaver, there was a reason you and Asuka never actually got married." The words left her mouth and she almost physically recoiled at what had slipped past her mental buffer.

"You don't have the right to even mention her name as far as I'm concerned," Shinji said through gnashed teeth. He was shaking, so mad that if she had been any other person in existence he would have decked her. "You are pushing your luck angel. Don't tempt me any further or I swear to whatever god it is you believe in I will leave you to die on the battlefield the first chance I get."

Whereas just a second ago she had the urge to apologize she now snapped into attack mode. "Oh? You accuse me of trying to separate myself from you and you turn right around and do the very same. Really classy Shinji, I can see what Asuka saw in you."

Shinji's hand hit her AT field and he heard it break. But he was beyond feeling pain at this point. Rei did not stop there though; she knew she had a captive audience.

"How many times did you two separate? How many times did you come running to me when she kicked you out? I can remember big macho Shinji bawling his eyes out a dozen times 'Why does she do this?' 'What did I ever do to her?' 'Why does life always shit on me?' always the same thing. How many times did I see her with makeup on trying to cover her black eyes and bruises? How many times did you both threaten to take the kids and run away? Hm?" Rei was really on a roll, getting things off her chest she had held in for an entire lifetime.

"The true Shinji? I know the real Shinji, the Shinji I know is the most codependent person I have ever met, even more so than Asuka. That's why you two shacked up. You can't exist alone or with other people, you two are so fucked up in the head that you have no idea how to live like a normal person. Your entire relationship and life is a result of settling. No one else could ever put up with your insecurities, your nightmares, your violence, your complete lack of social skills. How many failed relationships did you go thought Shinji? I can think of at least two dozen off the top of my head, and those are just the ones that occurred during breakups with Asuka." Rei's animated manner was completely different from anything Shinji had ever seen before. It was so raw and emotional that he stood there stunned as she peeled through the layers of his life.

"And then we get to the crux of all of this, to the real issue at hand. You and me, oh I know the real you Shinji. The question is: do you? I've looked into your heart and seen your soul, open only to me. I think in your entire life you have only been yourself for the six days we shared."

Shinji snapped out of his mesmerized state to cut her off at this point.

"That was the biggest mistake of my entire life." He paused for only the briefest moment. "Well maybe the second, I should have let you kill yourself when I had the chance. Everything would have been so much easier." His feeble attempt to hurt Rei was pathetic in her eyes.

"Biggest mistake?" Rei spoke, laughing a bit as his words broke her aggressive mood. "How can you have twenty three biggest mistakes in six days Shinji? That's how many times we fucked, trust me, I remember it, we were giving Misato's record a run for its money for sure. Every second of it burned itself into my memory. Until now I cherished those times, I was never as happy before or after that in my entire life. But you know what? You just don't care. Didn't then and you still don't. You started to feel guilty, even though it was Asuka who cheated on you. She's the one who drove you to me. But what did you do? You crushed me. You made up some BS reason so that you could leave me high and dry and feel justified. You took advantage of my complete devotion to you by making me agree to that stupid rule of yours and then just went on your way." At this point Rei began to cry while she ranted.

"We never talk about what happened, we never tell Asuka, and we never do anything more than hug. That's what you said, what I lived my life by from then until the last fight. Did you even once think about how you ripped my heart out? Regret meeting me? I regret meeting you. I could have died against the 16th and saved myself all this trouble." As she stood there silently crying she tried to stare him down through the tears.

"You were created with the DNA of my mother, sleeping with you was committing incest. Oedipus complex doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of how wrong that was. We talked about that for days afterwards, you agreed with me and it was amicable. You never once spoke up to voice any other opinion. As far as I'm concerned that is far behind me. You broke the rule, you betrayed my trust in you and now you feel bad because I'm doing what I told you I would do if that happened again. You have no right to lecture me about anything. I know all too well about the mistake I made." Rei's theatrics phased Shinji not one bit, he was not a degenerate or a sexual deviant and refused to become one now. Too bad for him he was a bit to late to change that.

"Do you even hear yourself?" Rei was now exasperated at the babble coming from Shinji. "It couldn't have bothered you that much, what about all of the mixed signals you have been sending me. I don't think you realize how you treat me. There is a reason all the other pilots think we're lovers, and it's not because they made it up."

Off in the distance emergency sirens were ringing out as Rei realized her folly.

"Not only is my hand broken, but your AT field tripped the angel alarms. Good luck explaining the two of those as a coincidence." Shinji walked over to the nearest bench to await medical help. Rei stood in the middle of the road dumbfounded and debated the merit of just going down to terminal dogma and ending the charade that was her existence.

May 30th 2016, Saturday

"Pilot Spinosa, Vela, and Dearing from NERV 1 have been dismissed from the active program as well as twelve of our previous corps. Those are the only candidates that did not meet your new standards. Pilot Ellis Morgan from Wales, Leos Ludvick from the Czech Republic, Harald Kay from Norway, Marcos Reinaldo from Portugal, Kenneth Ross from America and Victor Alanso from Argentina have all been transferred from NERV 1 to our facility. They have been elevated to candidate first class along with Horaki, Aida, Agano, Ooi, Mogami, Asori and Strasburg from our facility." Gendo read from the report with as much interest as he could muster. There were far more important matters at hand and he knew no one in SEELE actually gave half a damn about anything that had to do with pilots as long as they won. Sometimes he wondered how they got to where they did with their complete lack of micro management skills.

"Very good Ikari." Boomed monolith 03, his French accent thick. "Eighteen is far more than enough, but I must ask what about Kirishima? She looked to be very promising."

This of course piqued Gendo's interest, the first time it had happened in this already far too long meeting. He had received several reports that she might be a spy. A seven minute conversation with her was all he needed to know, she was a mole for 'The committee' and not a very good one at that. That of course led him to believe that she was a red hearing for the true spy, but that is a digression at the moment.

"She failed two separate psyche evaluations and was released from first class candidacy. I take it that this is no problem." A leading question, purposefully obvious.

"It is of little matter. Don't you agree Ikari?" SEELE 02 added. Gendo had confirmed his identity just 3 days ago. 'Russians' He thought to himself as he rolled his eyes internally, hating him as much as he hated the rest. No more, no less, except for Keel.

"I agree. So moving onto the real reason we're all here today, the odd readings between Unit 01 and 03. I have sent all of you all the information I have at my disposal, have you deciphered anything we might have missed?"

"We will need more time than the thirty hours provided Ikari and you know that." SEELE 07's nasally voice always annoyed Gendo greatly.

The fifteen man committee liked to think themselves above the entire world. French, Russian, Croatian, Romanian, Laotian, Indian, Pakistani, Chinese, American, Brazilian, Peruvian, Portuguese, Liberian, Egyptian, and Keel himself. He finally knew them all, and with that, the last piece was in place. When the attack came, and he knew it would, their lives were forfeit. Even if he did not succeed he now knew that neither would they… perhaps. Nothing is for sure in the world Gendo lived in.

"Of course, my apologies. If that is the case then what are meeting for?"

"If I was you Ikari, I would learn to watch my tongue." SEELE 01 spoke. "It seems that you are being especially insolent today. Why would that be?"

"I am not sure what you are implying. I am a busy man, as are all of you. If I am to further our collective goals, I need to be working. I am not being insubordinate, merely trying to watch my time closely." He assumed a very nonchalant pose as he sat in his high backed black leather chair. That always got their goat, but as the silence dragged on he knew that they were all conversing separately.

It was the one thing they did that instilled fear in him. Luckily he had complete confidence in the justness and necessity of his goal. It was what gave him the knowledge that in the end, he would succeed and they would fail, good always wins in the end.

Three minutes and twelve seconds later, Gendo timed it, one of them spoke again.

"We are as concerned as you are about the interference and unexpected complications between the two units. But do you believe that it may cause malfunctions while in combat?" SEELE 11 inquired in a manner that seemed to Gendo to be rehearsed.

"Until the next angel arrives we will not be able to calculate that." Gendo wondered what their game was, barely even hearing the words they spoke as he sunk into his own world. Every time they schemed, something changed in his day to day. He was a creature of habit and needed to control any situation at all times. God he wanted their heads on a pike.

"We have made extra funds available to you for live testing of your Evangelion units. See to it that field exercises are preformed and full reports are sent to us."

"Of course, now about-" Gendo's phone went off at this point, and after listening to it for a moment he made a quick excuse and cut his link with the committee. Glad to be done with them he exited the private meeting room and found Dr. Akagi awaiting him.

"That's certainly is an interesting development isn't it?" He asked; a smug grin on his face. Ritsuko grunted in agreement and followed like the lap dog she is.

June 2nd 2016, Tuesday – 1130 hours

Shinji had just finished his full training session without the splint on his hand. He had never broken any bones before, something that had amazed him considering the stack of injuries under his belt. He never wanted to go through that again. His uselessness with the most mundane of tasks vexed him greatly. And the itching, oh the itching. Asuka had laughed at him for a long time, yes it was after she had made sure he was ok and asked how it happened, but she laughed nonetheless. The lie he told her about his arm was the first one in this life time, but it would be far from the last.

And training with the thing is a nightmare. Yes all of the control in an Eva is done with the mind, but the controls help you concentrate and get into 'the zone.' The specter of control that lets you actually control. A horrible explanation, but you try to get across what it's like to control an engine of death, good luck.

But the celebration of his release from the grip of cripledom, as Pilot Kay had put it, was coming up on his birthday, four days from now. He had to admit that the new guys really knew how to have fun. They were all guys outside of the Pilot for Unit 05, Mari Illustrious Makinami, which was one hell of a name. Apparently Reinaldo was already shacked up with her. Kind of creepy for Shinji to think about, young teens having sex, but he was an old man so, eh what ya goona do?

Then again Shinji had been surprised that the American branch had such talent. Outside of the active pilots and Ken the 'Americans' blew the rest of NERV central out of the water. Hell they might have even been better than Touji and Ken, most days it was pretty hard to tell. Keita and Lee hated them, but that was probably because all of the female pilots had been quickly snatched up by the much more direct 'Americans.' They were called that even though most of them weren't American at all, that sort of thing happens in the military, apparently even when you're all kids.

When all was said and done, it ended up being Morgan with Kaede, Ludvick with Aoi, and Kay with Satsuki, at least for now. It could all change by the end of the week, and this of course was just what Shinji wanted, a soap opera to go along with his war.

"So I heard your birthday is coming up soon Ikari. Got anything planned?" Ross asked out of the blue, his Japanese horribly accented. They had been the last two to leave from the locker room and were on the way back to the barracks before the afternoon's scheduled classes.

"Uh, yeah Kenny, but you can call me Shinji now, we're on the same side." He had spoken to Ross only a handful of times since he had arrived. The guy was really quiet and kept to himself mostly, his only real friends seemed to be Ludvick and Morgan.

"I thought the Japanese had a thing about using first names?" His bewildered look coming from green eyes behind shoulder length red hair that hid most of his face, not a ginger, but Asuka would sure love his locks. He had a big build for a kid his age, not muscular and not fat, just big, definitely a Caucasian lineage.

"Yeah, we used to, but this is a different world we live in, not only the Japanese as a whole, but us in NERV specifically. The end of the world puts things in perspective pretty quick." Shinji grinned and slapped him on the back, knowing that Americans don't have the same personal bubble that some of his old friends do.

"Well, if you do have a party, are the new guys invited?"

"Who told you to ask me that?" Shinji knew enough of the new pilot to know that this conversation was making him a bit nervous.

"Leos of course, he pretty much runs my entire life." Resignation was crystal clear in his voice.

"Leos?" Shinji had yet to get all their first names down, something he now vowed to do before the end of the week.

"Oh, Ludvick, the Czech, he's a pretty bossy guy but he's the top gun we had back in Massachusetts. I didn't think anyone could be better than him until I got here."

"Then why was Mari your pilot?" This was just what Shinji had been looking for recently, intel.

"Well Unit 04 was supposed to be his. He had an almost perfect sync with the S2. All the Nevada guys hated him while he was there for testing. He even got jumped once, he told me. Six of their pilots got drummed out for it. That's why they sent him back to us. Two days later, well you know what happened. I guess the rest was politics." Ross just sort of trailed off and the rest of their trip was silent. As they arrived back at the barracks Shinji told Kenny that of course all the pilots were invited to his party. Ross had the rest of the day off and was going to catch some Z's. Shinji was on a quest for food though, after he got rid of his dirty laundry that is.

Ross warned him that Morgan liked to drink and not to let him sneak anything in. Great, a fifteen year old alcoholic, just who Shinji wanted to trust in a fight with Kaiju. He put this behind him and began to think, mainly about the S2. His own score had gone down seven points with the new core he had acquired. He was starting to get back up to his previous levels, but it was taking some serious time. Talking with his mother he found made it easier to work with the S2, but he was also mentally and physically fatigued by doing that.

He just had to hope that the next angel wouldn't show up before he had recovered.

1215 Hours

"And that is why the 1965 Mustang is the best car ever created." Kay exclaimed, blue eyes wide with the same gusto that demanded the sweeping arm gesture that had accompanied his edict.

"Harald, you're fifteen. You have never, ever driven before, let alone that particular make and model so how would you know?" Victor Alonso had a hard time placating Kay's delusions of being some car aficionado; luckily he had a lot of experience in the field.

"Are all Mexicans such dicks?" Harald asked trying to get a rise out of the ever even keel, at least externally, Victor. "What kind of Mexican name is Alonso anyway?" Kay ran his hand through his dirty blond hair which was parted down the middle as if some throw back to the early 90's in America. Victor constantly goaded him about it and said if he's going retro he might as well grow a handle bar mustache while he was at it. Kay thought that the Mexicans black hair, buzz cut, and laziness that led to a full set of facial hair, was boring and he was just being jealous.

"For the last time, I am an Argentinean, not Mexican. Half at that, Argentinean father and Caucasian mother, how many times are we going to go over this?" While calm, Alonso was also very bored, he has had this conversation with Kay at least a dozen times by this point. 'Fucking gringos.' He thought to himself as his countenance finally changed, causing his brown eyes to narrow slightly.

"Oh thank god, here comes Ikari." Victor had said out loud, though it was meant to have been internal monologue.

"Hey what do you mean by that…" But Kay was already talking to himself as Alonso literally ran away, mumbling something about Mexicans under his breath.

Watching the guy come up to him with a 'please save me' look on his face Shinji smiled inwardly. Asuka had always told him that Norwegians were like Americans, usually up their own ass with self importance, it seemed Kay was no different.

"Man I am glad you're here. I really needed to escape that quicksand of a conversation, where ya going?"

"If I just rescued you from something I can go and come back later." Shinji joked and gave Alonso a smirk. Victor just stood there and stared at him dumbfounded.

"You're trying to figure out if I really just said what I did aren't you?" Shinji asked as his shoulders slumped. Gaijin, he thought to himself dejectedly.

Alonso said something to himself in Spanish that as far as Shinji was concerned could have been moon speak. Victor then turned from him and began to just meander off. Having so many people around that barely spoke your language or didn't at all was going to take some getting used to. At least they weren't making him learn English, he hadn't used it in a VERY long time. He would have probably looked and felt as stupid as they did. As the irony of that statement hit him he resolved to get a hold of some English translation books and get back into conversational shape.

But that was for later, for today fate was about so slap Ikari around like it was his pimp, we're talking baby powder and all.

After a quick lunch Shinji made his way to his first destination. He opened the double doors to the training dojo just in time to see pilot Reinaldo crumple to the floor like a sack of potatoes. Kensuke and Touji stood over him and high fived each other as they walked back to the far right wall to get a drink. Hikari spoke up to Lt. Ernst as the two victors chatted about their victory.

"Why are you letting them gloat like that sensei? They had to double team him to win and he's still just laying there, they didn't help him up or anything." Her voice was sympathetic for the Portuguese man, his attractiveness having nothing to do with it, honest. Marcos was tall for his age, already measuring six feet and counting, his deep tan, bleach blond hair and nearly black eyes gave him an exotic air, especially to Hikari. Having grown up with a surprisingly homogenous group of boys, as far as physical attributes go, pilot Reinaldo almost made her regret being taken, almost. She also gave Touji the evil eye when she was done speaking, but his back was turned and he never saw.

"So what?" Bren replied as he began to stretch and motioned for Shinji to come join them. "You really think that any fight on the battle field is going to be some honorable one on one fight? This is not one of those anime's you like to watch Horaki. Battle is like life: nasty, brutish and short. They won, he lost, and that's it. I am going to beat the tar out of them later for high-fiving like that, yes, but that's because I want to, not for any real higher purpose."

That of course caught their attention and they ran up to him begging for leniency. Shinji and Hikari helped Marcos over to the corner and Hikari went into nurse mode as Shinji began to survey the room. Keita and Aoi were working with Lee on how to escape wrist locks in the far right corner. At times Shinji wondered what the real use of any of this was outside of trying to get the pilots into shape. Hand to hand combat only happened with an angel maybe half the time and even then only a few of them have actual hands or appendages that would make any of this useful.

Not like he could tell anyone that, but oh well, at least it was a good stress reliever. As he came out of his momentary reverie Touji was laid out in the middle of the room and Ken began dragging him away like a war casualty. 'I guess Ernst finally just got fed up with them. I wonder why they leave us to a guy like him.' He shrugged and watched Ernst go over to the trio in the back and begin to instruct them on the right and wrongs of what they were practicing. He followed as he had been told.

Getting to the back Strasburg popped out of Aoi's grip and countered it into a full standing arm bar. "Impressive," said Ernst. "Do you see any fault in his technique Ikari?" Ernst still had his back turned to him but had heard him walk up, Shinji sort of plodded heavily in his opinion.

"Not really, but more to the point only one angel so far has even had hands."

"There have only been two so far. I would say that's not a very rigorous statistical sampling you have there." Ernst said as he helped Aoi up off the mat and began to hold a separate conversation with her as Keita looked on, taking mental notes. "But perhaps you are right. What would you suggest? Do you have any alternative ideas?"

"I didn't mean offense sir, but really the only thing I could think of that would be a better use of our time would be more plug time, and I'm happy being out of there as much as possible," Shinji replied, half paying attention to what was going on in front of him and half trying to play the conversation through in his head so that he wouldn't slip up.

"Oh I'm not upset with you. Trust me if I was you'd know it pilot." He continued their conversation even as he went through drills with Aoi interspersing his thoughts between Shinji and the other group. "What we are doing here is more than what you learn, rather it's a thought process, a way to react with muscle memory and not let your mind slow you down. You understand what I'm saying Ikari?"

"Yes sir, it's one of the basic tenants of all martial arts." 'I wonder where he is going with all of this?' He thought to himself.

"But with you it's much more than that, you fight with your mind more than with your body. So by keeping your head clear and focused on what's in front of you, and not on what your next move should be or trying to plan ahead, I make you a more effective pilot. I don't walk around beating up children for fun; that just happens to be a nice benefit. I can beat everyone in this room in a fight at the same time. Maybe not because of me having a perfect technique, but because I am physically stronger than all of you." At this point he hit each of the three students in front of him in various pressure points and dropped them before they could even react.

Turning on Shinji quickly he struck out at Shinji's philtrum with his right elbow. Shinji pulled his head back just a few inches and was merely grazed, dealing no real damage.

"What the fu..." Shinji yelled in surprise, but was cut off before he could say the words.

"You see what just happened? You knew instinctively that you were not strong enough to block, nor fast enough to parry so you made the minimal movement to avoid the attack, all without a single thought. If you had tried to think you would be missing a few front teeth right now, that is what I'm trying to teach. It's a shame that only you and her have actually learned it, but I am trying." Bren didn't react to Shinji's anger; he just made his point and then turned to his previous victims and helped them up, knowing just where to rub to alleviate their pain. He got back to what they had been previously been working on and ignored all of their complaints as he went on his merry way.

'_Her_.' Shinji knew what Lt. Ernst had meant and who was now behind him. He rubbed his temples for a moment before exhaling a deep breath he had been holding.

"I'm the only person in NERV who has ever defeated him in hand to hand combat. Did you know that?"

"I'm sure you cheated."

"Yes that's great, very mature. Are you going to turn around now?"

"You two stop making out and go practice, I don't want to deal with any of your bullshit," Ernst said as he motioned for his three disciples to line up in front of him.

Shinji's shoulders sagged as he walked past Rei and went over to a punching bag near the front of the room. Hikari, Touji, Ken and Reinaldo watched the pair as if they were animals in a zoo. Rei gave Hikari a quick glace that spoke volumes to her.

"Okay you two; you think it's fun to gang up on people so let's see how you do two on two." Marcos got to his feet with his new ally, but the other stooges sat there oblivious. Marcos flicked Touji's right ear as hard as he could and the fight was on.

"Soooo?" Shinji asked with his hanging question.

"Why do you think I am here to inquisition you? I was scheduled to be here today, just as you were. Nothing more." Rei got behind the bag as Shinji laid into it. She knew he was probably trying to hit it hard enough to knock her back, but that was impossible so she let him work out his frustration.

"So is this the scene where we get over what's been going down and magically become friends again?"

"I guess all of that comes down to you Shinji. You are the one with the problem here not me." That garnered a nasty look.

"How good of you to dissociate yourself from your mistakes, It makes me look like the bad guy, but to whom? This is only between the two of us and since we both know what happened, what's the point?"

"There is no guile in me Shinji, you should know that. I have no ulterior motive or such nonsense, so I'm not really sure why you are so accusatory. I just wish I could get a fair chance to mend fences with you. There is no reason why we can't go back to the way things were before, other than your prejudice against me." Rei hid behind the bag as she talked, partly to keep herself from having to look at his hateful face and partly to keep him from getting even more agitated by the sight of her.

For the next hour they went through a complete workout and different sparing sessions. Some of the time using various weapons such as bo's, bokken, and faux pole arms. Shinji didn't say another word to Rei after her last retort. He barely even looked her in the eyes. After the next group came in he vacated as fast as he could leaving Rei in the lurch. Hikari talked to her for a bit in the showers about not giving up on Shinji and that she would try and talk to him, but Rei said it was ok. It was a problem she had to solve herself, and sooner or later she knew that Shinji would get over himself and sit down with her.

She didn't know that she would run into him as she left the locker room.

Not missing a beat she hit him with a quip. "You're lucky I came out fully clothed, try to explain to section two that situation." She thought she had him dead to rights.

"It's nothing I haven't seen before." He said as he pushed himself off the far wall that he had been leaning up against.

"Touché." Rei was wearing a dark blue dress that went down to just below her knee.

"No bra even. Are you trying to put on a show?" Shinji said off-handedly. He had changed into a charcoal gray pair of mid-shin khaki shorts and a black T-shirt with a red stripe that ran down the right side. He was currently bare foot.

"It's called laundry day Ikari. What do you want now?" Her voice quickly annoyed at yet another shot at her.

"Misato is going to work late tonight, I'm going home. Don't follow me." He sounded indifferent, this of course completely confused Rei for a few seconds. She was then overcome by Shinji's stupidity.

'That couldn't have been a more obvious follow-me if he had just actually said it.' Rei thought to herself. 'If you were trying to not tip people off, you just totally failed, good job Einstein.'

Thirty minutes later Rei made her way to the Major's apartment and came in through the unlocked door. It was still the early afternoon and so it wasn't as if she could have snuck in through the shadows. In fact the entire trip down here and the encounter before it were pretty ridiculous in her opinion. "Well Mr. Bond I'm here." She said cynically as she came out of the walk way and into the kitchen.

"Yeah I get it. No need to bust my balls." Shinji was sitting at the table nursing a beer. A second seat across from him in front a chair already pulled out for Rei. She gave him a puzzled look because of the scene before her. It didn't seem like something she should have expected from confrontational Shinji, old Shinji maybe, but not this one.

"That was one of the least suave things I have ever seen you do Shinji," she sat and opened her beer taking a big swig of it. "It's been a long time since I last drank anything. Are you sure Misato won't notice the beers missing?" Rei knew following up an insult with an ice breaker probably wasn't the best idea but really, she didn't know how to act around Shinji anymore. She feared another testy retort and he'd possibly try to throw her out. His response certainly caught her off guard.

He pulled a Misato. He downed the entire beer, let out a bench clearing burp, got another out of the fridge and did the same to it. "Well that makes number four so I'm already pretty tipsy. Maybe now I can get through this." He belched loudly as he crushed the last can and threw it into the trashcan off to his right.

"You're a kid physiologically Shinji, how are you going to avoid a hangover? Heck how are you even still functional?" She was concerned with him, that is true, but she was also concerned for how he would react to this already volatile situation when he was drunk.

"You worry about you and I'll worry about me okay?" Shinji sat back into his chair as far as he could, perhaps as a way to keep himself upright. "Let's get this started, ok? This entire thing is crap. We both know it so let's just stop."

"Just stop?" Rei was incredulous, the gall Shinji was showing. "You're the one who started this. Maybe I messed up, but you didn't have to do this. Do you have any idea what you did to me?" Shinji held up his hand in a stop motion and surprisingly she did just that.

"I am well aware of what you were going through and it was exactly what I wanted you to suffer. But none of that is important anymore, now it's done and we need to…"

"Fuck you and fuck this, I am out of here. I hope you drown like John Bonom." Rei pushed herself away from the table and left the room in a huff. She had some modicum of pride left and wasn't going to let Shinji belittle her and treat her as if she was some child who needed scolding. She was so mad at him she was getting red in the face. She was mad at herself for letting her hope get the best of her and walking right into this like a blind man in the middle of the street.

She had not made it three paces out the front door before she felt a firm grip on her left wrist. "Hey c'mon, I'm trying here aren't I?" Shinji's voice was slurred but his movements weren't. Rei tried to pull her hand free but without using her real strength and as mad as she was she didn't want to physically hurt Shinji, at least not really.

"Your trying sucks." Was her curt reply.

"Yeah, Asuka told me that all the time. But right now it's the best I can do, so either come back in or take off. This time it's you making the decision." Shinji went back inside and left Ayanami to her own devices for almost five minutes before she decided. Of course she went back inside; they both knew she would.

As Shinji sat on the couch he killed the TV when he heard the door shut. When Rei came upon him he was sitting there looking in the direction of the kitchen, drinking a large glass of water.

"Why?"

"I assume you mean 'why am I trying to mend fences now.'" Shinji answered after emptying his glass and getting up to refill it. "To be honest I'm not doing this for you or for myself. I am doing this because of Hikari. She is way too perceptive for her own good you know?"

"She is my best friend Shinji, I think I would know better than you." Rei had yet to sit down; she just watched Shinji as he returned to the couch and began to stare at the blank TV screen.

"Right. Well she picked up on my trying to mentor Touji. You would think it would be a normal thing for me to do right? The veteran taking the newbie under his wing, it's to be expected. But no, somehow she read into it that I was worried about him, more than I should be. I played it off at first, but yesterday she told me either I tell her what's going on or she is going to start asking Misato questions, or perhaps even my dad." Shinji leaned over resting his forearms on his knees as he gazed into the glass.

"I'm sure you know about the strange reading that his unit is putting out, right?"

"More accurately it's reacting to your S2, but I do know what you mean."

"Well I thought it might be, unhealthy, for her to start snooping around so I told her it was something you had said to me about him. As soon as I said that I knew she wouldn't buy it. If she had I would have called her a moron, but I did find a way to work it to my advantage. We got into an argument, but at the end I let her convince me to try and sit down and talk to you about the 'weirdness' as she put it, between us." Shinji sat his glass on the coffee table in front of him and turned to face Rei again.

"So if you want to help me ensure Touji's survival we need to get over ourselves and think of a way to get those erroneous reading to go away. I'm afraid it's something Bardiel is doing. We can't afford to have him awaken in the middle of the Ramiel fight, so let's put our heads together." Shinji extended his hand to Rei hoping she would take it and then sit down finally. Instead she just stared at it as if hoping it would burst into flames.

"After crapping all over me for eight months I can't believe that in eight minutes you just want me to forgive and forget. Just move on as if I had stubbed my toe. The gal…"

Shinji cut her off again, his drunkenness quickly passing, though he was still thoroughly light headed. "If you are going to be a broken record then just leave Rei. I want to save our friend, you are either going to help me or you aren't. Which is it?"

"Good luck, oh fearless and perfect leader," Rei said as she turned her back on him and left. Shinji wanted to reach out, pick his glass back up, and fling it at the door behind her but seeing as how he would be the one who would have to clean that mess up, he restrained himself. Rei for her part knew she had made a bad decision and was acting just as bad or worse than Shinji had been. Now that she had a chance to, she wanted to hurt Shinji like he had hurt her, a counterproductive and childish urge. The tendency of her and Shinji to give into temper tantrums despite their supposedly more mature inner selves was a disturbing trend, but at the moment she needed to get away from him so she could get herself under control. Did she have the right to be angry? Yes, but they were both adults who were trying to work towards the greater good. Since the last fight they had been failing at that spectacularly.

She had a lot of thinking to do on her own before she was going to feel level headed enough to converse with Shinji on any sort of useful level.

Wednesday June 3rd, 0615 hours Ikari/Katsuragi residence

Rei stood in living room as she watched Shinji's back. He was sitting out on the veranda hunched over the coffee table, which he had pulled outside. He was writing something in a spiral notebook. Every few minutes, he'd tear out a page and throw it in the trash can next to him, another thought dismissed.

She had been watching him for twelve minutes, contemplating the two very different sides she knew Shinji to possess. So infuriatingly dichotomous, yet somehow coexisting in a man she loved dearly. She knew that when Asuka got to Japan things were going to be very different and very awkward. But until then she wanted some semblance of having Shinji to herself, as selfish as that sounded. When she finally pulled the veranda door open Shinji nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Damn it woman, tell people when you're going to scare them to death! Jeeze." He gave her a quick once over and after a few moments hesitatingly waved her over to him. She stood transfixed in Shinji's gaze until he finally broke eye contact with her and got back to work, then finally pulled over a chair and sat next to him looking over what he had written. He slid the pad over to her and let her read. He got up and began to pace for a moment before disappearing inside.

Shinji had drawn several diagrams and what appeared to be battle plans, not only for Ramiel, but for Bardiel. Not only that but he had six pages of text as well. The topics ranged from S2 theory, to Touji's psychology, to his weaknesses in battle and how to exploit them if she needed to. Looking in the trashcan there had to been a good twenty pages thrown away. Shinji had really been working hard on this.

When he appeared again he handed Rei a glass of orange juice, his was water. As he sat down Rei handed him back his papers.

"So I was thinking…"

1125 Hours

"I think that just about covers it don't you?" Shinji asked as he yawned. Neither of them had slept the night before.

Rei got off the couch and stretched, leaning back as her back popped to get the kinks out of it. "I don't see any reason to believe that we can't pull that off. I'll be back[ . . . ]restroom break."

As she disappeared Shinji walked out to the veranda and with one of Misato's hidden lighters burnt all of their notes. No reason to take any chances now is there?

"So when are we actually going to talk?" Rei asked to Shinji's back. At least this time he knew she was there.

"Should I be getting drunk again now?" He said without turning around.

"I would prefer it if you didn't."

"Spoil sport."

"Quite."

Shinji then turned and went to the kitchen table. It had long been cleared of breakfast's dishes. "Do we really have to do this?"

Rei gave him 'the look.' Every man knows 'the look', so of course Shinji folded like a wet paper cup.

"Well let's at least get the redundant stuff out of the way. We know what you did and how I reacted and what has lead us to this point, so what exactly is it that you wish to discuss."

"Well I think it's best to start from the beginning don't you?" Rei replied glad to finally get to the core of their spat. "Then we need to work past this, situation. We have a long haul ahead of us Ikari. We need to work together," she paused for a moment, "I miss you. You're my best friend Shinji, you always will be. You know that, you and I…. You understand what I mean right?"

"You understand that means we're also going to have to talk about Asuka, the situation between the three of us and what it's going to be like when Asuka gets here. Living situations, that sort of thing." Shinji was now giving off an aura much like his father. His brain was going a million miles an hour. He was contemplating the futures of those around him, forgetting his present circumstances.

"That's really up to Misato, not either of us." Rei rained all over his parade.

"Fuck, you're right. Stupid time traveling," he crossed his hands over his chest like a petulant child. This drew a snicker from Rei.

"Ok then, back to basics. You want me to go first?"

Shinji nodded his response."I will try my best to keep an open mind about this. But I can't guarantee anything."

"That's all I ask for," she hung her head and closed her eyes for a second before she began. "Well I guess it started way back when you reached out to me, after the end of the war."

"Let's be honest here, I accomplished little of anything until I dragged you off to college."

Rei, finally regarding Shinji, who had not taken his eyes off of her since they sat down, replied, "Trust me. Even though I was about as active as a brick, your company was appreciated more than I can say. But I guess it was, what, sophomore year when I started to learn any sort of normal human emotions. You only had to relearn, for me, it was a blank slate I had to fill in by watching others."

"I know all about that Rei, I was there. I have heard this before, please can we skip all of that and get to the matter at hand?" Shinji was not trying to be mean, but exhaustion was beginning to set in and it was affecting his temperament.

"Okay." The trepidation in her actions and voice were beginning to annoy Shinji. He had not said anything yet, but was bothered by her lack of fortitude.

"Well the reason I even noticed that I was starting to feel anything was because of you. As cliché as it sounds just being around you made my heart race. I would feel flush and always wanted to be near you. I wasn't stupid, even though I hadn't felt the feelings first hand I knew what they were. I dismissed them at first as an overreaction, then as friendship. It took some time before I let myself believe that I was in love. A… are you sure your all right with this?" Rei had her hands in her lap, squeezing herself tightly. If she was not already white she would have been from the pressure.

"I wouldn't have asked you to talk if I didn't think it was important to get this out of our systems now. Please continue." Shinji rubbed his right eye as he spoke and stifled a yawn.

"Well, I kept it all to myself because I knew that you loved Asuka. At the time I didn't know enough to see the cracks in your, peculiar, relationship. To be honest if I had I would have tried to steal you away from her early on, before it was cemented." Rei was amazed by Shinji's seeming ambivalence towards what she was saying. He was paying rapt attention, but letting things that would normally have incensed him slide.

"By the time I knew myself well enough to be fully aware, I would say not three or so months later, is when the incident occurred. While I was well enough to consummate our, whatever it was, when it was over I had no idea how to cope with that. I was just in a daze more or less. You said a lot of things and I didn't have the will to argue or fight, so I just nodded and went along with all of it. It took over a week for me to fully grasp what I had just let go of, what you had done to me."

"I don't remember any fights between us or any further weirdness." Shinji interjected. "You seemed ok with it. I never had any indication that it was eating at you." He yawned again. "Sorry . . . not bored, just sleep deprived."

"I didn't see you for almost two months after that Shinji. You and Asuka disappeared into a fuck fest. I guess you were trying to screw your problems away, I don't know and really don't care. I needed that time for myself, to be honest." Neither of them spoke for a long time just sitting and contemplating the other and their shared past.

"Even if it had been back in High School, we could never have been together Rei. You know that, so why? I just don't understand why you couldn't move on. Look at me, I'm a nutcase. Hell all of us are. You were a very attractive woman, you could have had any man you wanted." Before Rei could get words out of her mouth, she was preempted.

"Don't give me that 'I didn't want anyone but you' garbage. You know we're related, so why did you even want me?"

"Don't throw this all on me Shinji Ikari; you were a very willing participant. How many times when we were making love did you tell me that you loved me? How many times did we talk about you moving in with me, about our 'new and bright future together?' The day before you left you even said that we should elope. So don't make me into some pariah. You were a confused and hurt little boy. That's what you acted like, and let's not even get started on how callous it was for you to just leave me high and dry when I would have needed you the most." Rei was getting hot again and was struggling to keep the conversation from devolving into another shouting match.

"Look Rei, I'm beat, it's late and Misato won't even be back until after three tomorrow, some kind of cross country trip. We will have all day to talk again, you can have the couch. Get the blankets yourself." He walked away from Rei towards his room, not even bothering to spare a pleasantry.

As she sat and drank a beer she'd grabbed from the fridge, Rei was unsure on how to rate the evening. Unlike Shinji she really didn't feel tired. In fact she could easily go for days without sleep if she needed to. On one hand, strategically, they had gotten all of her previous goals met in just a few hours. Even she was amazed with their efficiency. But the most important thing to her at the moment was the conversation Shinji had just walked away from.

He had been listening calmly, at least as calmly as could be expected. But he was still quite rude and she could tell he was, internally at least, fighting the urge to fly off the handle. So all in all it was a mixed bag. She laid down for a while, but stayed up the rest of the day planning out what she wanted to say next.

0648 Hours Thursday, June 4th 2016

The odd sleep pattern of the day before had kept Shinji up the entire night. Not that it would have mattered though, his mind had been restless, thoughts and memories of himself and Rei running rampant. When he finally drug himself out of bed at three to five, Rei was coming out of the shower, but this time she was fully clothed. Rei got the irony and laughed, Shinji was totally lost. You would think a guy would never forget the first boob he had ever touched, but Shinji as we all know is far from normal.

At first they had talked more about Rei, her feelings, and what lead her to break her oath. Even though he had had no sleep that night Shinji seemed much calmer, he attributed it to exhaustion. They eventually came to an impasse, Rei had made her peace and Shinji still had not forgiven her. She had nothing more to say and he didn't want to talk about it anymore, so the matter was dropped for the time being.

"This isn't at all what I hoped for when I came over yesterday." Rei's voice and posture bore a dejected tone.

"Were you expecting us to sit around talking about the good ole days? For us to look at my new sketches, watch a movie, talk about Asuka and how she's doing? I don't think you should expect that for a long time Rei." Shinji was in the kitchen making them breakfast as Rei sat in the living room. She was sitting up against the back of the couch, looking towards Shinji.

"I'm not really sure. I had some strange dreams recently and I wanted to try and talk to you about them, I know that much. I remember you had all kinds of dream analysis books before so maybe you had some of that stuff memorized. I, I guess I just wanted things to go back to the way they were. I figured if we could have sex and still function as friends then a kiss shouldn't be a big deal. You know what I mean?" Rei pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

Shinji stopped in his tracks for a moment to stare off before getting back to work. "Hm."

"So.."

"Two or three minutes and it should be done. It's just a simple European type of meal. Anything closer to home would be a lot more effort."

"I am more than fine with that Shinji. Thank you for all the effort." Rei got up and lethargically made her way over to the table and took a seat. Shinji grunted his reply.

After the food was gone and the dishes cleaned and put away, a pall of silence fell over them. Neither knew what to say or do. They both thought that Rei should leave, but she didn't want to go and Shinji felt bad about wanting to just kick her out. Feeling that way surprised him a good bit, so he delayed any choice by going off to take a bath.

While he was away Rei made her way over to what had been Shinji's room, once upon a lifetime, after Asuka had arrived. In there was his cello, a bass guitar and several other electric guitars. Rei knew very little about non acoustic instruments, but did recognize one of them as a flying V. But that was against the eastern wall; on the other side of the small room were all of Shinji art supplies. They were arranged as they had always been, in a bizarre mess, a mountain of media. But Shinji knew exactly where everything was in that mess. It was almost creepy to see him jam his hand into a pile of junk and see him pull out exactly what he was looking for.

Currently sitting on his easel was not a canvas but his sketch book. It was not the one that Rei remembered; he must have filled that one up and moved to a new one. Sitting Indian style with her back to the door Rei began to leaf through it.

It started with a beautiful pencil sketch of Asuka. It reminded her of Asuka early in their college years, she truly was a beauty back then. The picture was of her left side, it appeared as if she was facing into the wind. The next was one of Shinji, Asuka and their three children. Asuka was nursing one of them while the other two looked on. Their respective ages weren't right but it was a sketch Shinji had done by pure memory.

'They look so young, so happy.' Rei thought to herself, sad and happy at the same time.

The next picture really surprised her. It was one of her, reminiscent of her a few years from now, perhaps 17 or so. The expression on her face was an odd one, almost like she was scheming. It was hard to describe, but she certainly looked up to no good.

"I could pose for you or something if you wanted me to." Rei said out loud knowing that Shinji was behind her, he had been for a few seconds.

"There's more stuff in there." He said evenly not showing anger or much of anything really.

Rei handed him back his book before getting to her feet. "No it's ok, I would rather you show them to me and talk about them than sneak around and take peeks behind your back." She wasn't embarrassed to get caught just matter of fact about it.

He put his book back on the easel keeping his hand on it for a moment as if remembering a fond memory. "I'll think about it, the posing thing that is." He said as he finally took his eyes off of it and gently pushed Rei out of the room.

Standing in the hall between the storage room and his current dwelling he and Rei made eye contact by accident as Shinji shut the door behind him. Rei wanted to apologize, to say the magic words that would make Shinji forgive her, to make things like they were before. Even though times were better then, she knew going back would mean swallowing her feeling for him every day, for her entire life, all over again. Doing it had been so hard the first time, she struggled internally about whether she could force such torment on herself again.

Shinji for his part was struggling with something his mother had told him recently. It was actually her that prompted him to call Rei over. He had argued with her on and off for weeks about the situation. His mother strangely enough had taken her side completely. He couldn't believe it at first. It wasn't as if she was telling him to accept Rei and a relationship with her, far from it.

But she had told him to get over himself. How many mistakes had Shinji made in his life that he wished to take back? When had the people around him ever held them against him for eight months, and to the level he had?

Well Asuka that one time, but that's not important.

Yui had told him that Rei's knowledge and ancestry were a huge boon to their cause. Having the two of them split their efforts could undo all the progress they wished to make in this world. If he wanted to succeed, and more to the point get his best friend back, he had to swallow his arrogant pride and his anachronistic morals. He told her he would try, and he had, but it had been hard for him. Seeing her reminded him of their mistake every time, of how he had almost thrown away his life with Asuka for her.

But as Yui had told him, over time that will lessen and one day it will be gone and you won't even notice. So here he stood, competing inside between wanting to call her a home wrecker and his ache to reach out and give her a big hug, asking for her to forgive him and all the pain he had caused her. Neither side won in the end and he simply broke eye contact and walked past her into the living room. When Rei didn't follow he felt a twinge of guilt.

He knew when he went back into the hall Rei would be standing there, crying. What he saw instead terrified him much more. She seemed to be staring out of the house, through the very walls all around her, past the Geofront and into the outside world.

"He who guides the souls of the faithful to heaven, the thunder of God. He has arrived."

Her eyes seemed to flash bright red for a moment before the siren sounded. Whether she had triggered the alarms on purpose to alert everyone else or if they had picked Ramiel up on their own Shinji would never find out.

* * *

Lyrics belong to VNV nation, their label and to all other respective copyright holders.

And yes if you listen to this song its one of the saddest things you will ever hear.

Pre readers are the new and improved Fanf1cFan

Pictures to be found in the url in my profile page. They include:

Correct version for the other three female pilots

Cutting Rei's hair

Rei and Shinji's Child

Bleeding from the eyes

Shinji ascent into godhood?

Asuka in long sleeves

Asuka back in Berlin

Rei's clothes during her first talk with Shinji.

Mari in her plugsuit

Shinji at age 15

Rei at age 15 (blue dress)

Pencil sketch of Asuka

Shinji/Asuka and their kids

Shinji pencil sketch of Rei

Geofront diagram

if you want any of these pics just let me know and I will email them to you


	11. Blood and Thunder

**BLOOD AND THUNDER**

I think that someone is trying to kill me  
Infecting my blood and destroying my mind  
No man of the flesh could ever stop me  
The fight for this fish is a fight to the death

What remorseless emperor commands me  
I no longer govern my soul  
I am completely immersed in darkness  
As I turn my body away from the sun

Split your lungs with blood and thunder  
When you see the white whale  
Break your backs and crack your oars men  
If you wish to prevail

This ivory leg is what propels me  
Harpoons thrust in the sky  
Aim directly for his crooked brow  
And look him straight in the eye

0900 Hours Wednesday, June 3rd, 2016

"Are you sure Major? There's nothing at all?"

"Sorry Pilot, on such short notice that's a pretty tall order. Besides what makes you think it will be necessary? Anything you would like to share?"

It had been a hectic few hours in NERV headquarters, the under-city of Tokyo III. It had been a lucky break for the Geofront's inhabitants, the early warning the 5th angel had given them was proving invaluable. While still less time than they had had with Shamshel it was noticeably more than Sachiel had given. With all of the new personnel from the other NERV installations, it had been bedlam for a while. No one knew who exactly was supposed to do what, who was in charge etcetera. That sort of thing could have been expected in their first engagement as a team, but Shinji and Rei had hoped, in vain, to avoid that.

Luckily the crews were professional and within an hour things were running smoothly. If the alert had been more abrupt there may have been trouble.

"I thought that the American branch was second only to our own?" Fuyutsuki asked, partially in a sarcastic manner, partially genuinely surprised.

"Regardless of their nationalities, it seems they have spent enough time there to pick up that most American of traits, unwarranted self importance." As the giant monitor in front of his desk sunk back into the ground, Gendo Ikari got to his feet, and with Fuyutsuki in tow, left his oppressive office.

Awaiting his arrival, Misato was giving Shinji a once over. His request for a shield, considering he already had one with his AT field, struck her as very odd. When pressed for a reason for his request he had no valid response.

"Perhaps it is his last confrontation that has made him gun-shy, one can hardly blame him. Considering that although we got off lightly, I think you would agree that was due to our adversaries' attention being more on the city than his opponents." Rei had ninja'd her way into another conversation. Her first word had caused Katsuragi to visibly jump, how she can get right behind you without making a noise eluded the major.

"Maybe I can talk to R&D about something, but that won't help either of you today. You are just going to have to rely on what we have, but you won't be going in blind, satellite imagery shows that the Angel has no visible appendages. It's just a geometric shape, currently a hollow, translucent blue octahedron. We assume that its primary weapon will be some sort of projectile. So we are going to test its effective range and try to gauge its accuracy. With all of our stationary above ground equipment destroyed, we are wheeling out the last of what we have stored down here. Unfortunately we only have enough for maybe two or three attempts, but it's better than nothing."

As soon as she had started talking about its looks, Misato had begun to make her way from the doorway of mission ops, where she had been standing since Shinji had stopped her, towards the observation deck of the command center. Both of the pilots were already in their plug suits, just in case.

As they arrived, they found the deck quite crowded. All of the level one Japanese branch candidates, the new guys from NERV 01, and a myriad of officers running the entire gambit of ranks were in a standing room only arrangement. "What the hell is all of this?" Misato yelled at the crowd, not very professional but it got the intended effect. A Lieutenant Colonel turned to reply to her first, Misato remembered that he was from the American branch, some Egyptian man whose name totally escaped her.

"Commander on deck!" He exclaimed getting the correct military response from all those present. Even though he greatly outranked her, during combat operations, which this was, she held rank over all but Gendo.

"They all technically have the right to be here Major, I asked them to try and partially move to the other two decks but General Sennitt overrode me, he's at the front." He was obviously annoyed by the situation as well and thus on Misato's good side. "Well tell him that all the pilots are to stay, all other officers are to report to deck two. That is an order."

"Very good sir. The SPM (Self Propelled Mortar) will be reaching its exit point in approximately three minutes, we have the last three mobile SAM launchers standing ready on the southern ridge outside town to fire after the mortar."

By the time the self propelled mortar came out of its hidden railway, Misato was surrounded by fifteen year olds, when she realized that, she suddenly felt very old.

The angel made no obvious reaction to its assailants as they came in view or when they fired their first shot. As the young pilots watched the giant display in front of them, various quips were made about the uselessness of conventional weapons. The noise an 180mm shell makes when glancing off of an AT field is apparently akin to a high pitched whistle, the almost comedic nature of it only goaded the pilots on.

Misato shushed them just in time to see the weapon and its crew, not to mention the rail line, and several hundred thousand gallons of sea water disappear, completely disintegrated by a ray weapon of some sort that the Magi soon characterized as an antimatter beam made up of high-energy positrons. Misato turned to Shinji, as he and Rei were the only ones not standing there with an open mouth gape, "So, a shield huh?"

Shinji gave her a pleading look and a nod as several languages went through the command deck. Some were talking to themselves, some uttered exclamations in surprise. Leos and Lee were talking to each other in German, their look and tone grave.

During the commotion the angel began to move again.

1200 hours

"Pilot Ikari will be launched from route thirteen as a distraction, approximately twenty seconds later Pilot Ayanami will reach topside at route twenty one, on the western side of town. Pilot Ikari will be laying down suppressive fire to draw the angel, Ramiel, towards him and away from its current location."

The giant projection behind Misato showed a three dimensional cross section of the entire city. Route 13, 21 and the angels current position were highlighted. The drill, currently breaking all sorts of physical laws about conservation of mass, was also shown.

"As you all know, the angel's attack will break through our last level of armor plating at 2200 hours tomorrow. How it plans to proceed from there we have no idea of knowing, but when it succeeds, it will all be a moot point. Pilot Ayanami will be taking our standard issue sniper rifle, the SV-98, and attempting to breach the angels AT field. It is our evaluation that hand to hand combat with our target is not feasible." Misato, now in her dress uniform, seemed very prim and proper, a far cry from NERV operations of the past. As she spoke, the operation ran behind her in a simulation, not dissimilar from the one the pilots saw on a regular basis.

"At 1430 hours the operation will begin, after the earlier tests we believe that we have calculated the angel's operational parameters. We predict this operation will take no more than a minute, but in case of an operational failure, Pilot Suzuhara will be kept on the launch pad as back up for Ikari and Ayanami. Were following KISS here people, keep it simple stupid, are there any questions?" Misato's entire spiel was done with no reference or even a gaze to the visuals behind her. Shinji was actually impressed that she had pulled that off with no time to practice, not to say that she was incapable of it, just in the past her command style had proven to be rather lose. More like a sports coach than a normal military officer.

"Yes, Pilot Morgan?"

"I'm sorry major, but this plan seems haphazard at best." Ellis was speaking in English, which caused a temporary bit of confusion. Pilot Ross apologized for him and relayed what he said in barley manageable Japanese.

"How is it that he can understand but not speak?" Misato questioned, Kenny only shrugged in confusion and wished that everyone would stop looking at him, it made him nervous. His best guess was that Morgan was just having a hard time remembering that not everyone spoke English, first language and all that.

"Well, moving on to what he said; what do you have in mind?" Misato said miffed at one of the people not involved in the operation would complain about it.

Ross did his best to translate.

"Well what if the rifle can't penetrate the field? What happens then, you said that CQC was out of the question, so what is the back up? Yeah that rocket launcher and Gatling gun hurt the last one but that doesn't guarantee anything against a new opponent." Although he was speaking in English still Shinji had picked up on enough of it to piece together what he was saying.

All of the "American" pilots were nodding their heads in agreement with the points he was bringing up. Shinji agreed as well, but then he knew how things were going to go. His only real concern was how to avoid that shot to chest. Yes he was stronger now than he had been then, but like Ellis had just said, what does that guarantee? Jack squat, that's what. He and Rei had discussed it in between the initial attacks with the mortar and SAM's and the meeting. No great idea was forthcoming.

"We will have N2 bombers on standby as we have for every battle, only this time it is a different situation due to its current position. If Unit 05 was operational we would be using a different strategy to be sure, but we only have Suzuhara for reinforcement. No offence meant Pilot, but you simply don't have the combat experience that Pilot Makinami does.

"None, taken." Touji replied

As Ross finished up translating, there were whispers among the newbie's. Not only had she not answered the question, but she had replied with what they viewed as a childish statement. 'What do you have in mind?' It is your job to think up these things, it's only ours to follow them. For the new group this was an inauspicious start to their relationship with their CO.

"Well?" Misato angrily asked again, fed up with their chatter.

"Is the SV the most powerful weapon we have?" Asked Victor Alonso, his statement taking a long time to ask, as he was trying to work his way through the Japanese.

"At this moment, yes. We have a backup plan, but I'm not sure how long it will take to complete preparations for it. That is why I did not mention it, if it becomes necessary then you will all be briefed."

'Yashima.' Rei thought to herself.

"If that is all then I suggest that you all go to your assigned stations and await further orders." Seeing no further statements coming she dismissed them all and turned away from then rubbing her temples as they left the room.

1426 Hours

"The people from NERV 01 sure are different than what I imagined. I mean let's be honest, questions like that are close to insubordination. If I had ever done something like that I would have been thrown in solitary confinement."

Rei was listening to Shinji, but was also finishing up some last minute adjustments to her unit. Her ability to multi task was nearly limitless, another of the small advantaged she was imbued with. "If we're all about honesty in this conversation, then the fact that Misato shouldn't be leading us needs to be brought up. She's a Major doing a veteran Generals job, on top of that she's brash and the battle is very personal to her. Not only because of you, but due to her shared history with the enemy."

As Rei spoke, her eyes were closed, the best that Shinji could figure was that when she did that she was communicating with her Eva. It must take a good deal of concentration on her part, but it was just his best guess. Rei didn't like to talk about the ways and means of her communication with the Eva. She once told Shinji she could probably communicate with him the same way, but it would probably give him a migraine if he was lucky, if he wasn't, it could just outright kill him.

"Sorry if I seem distant Shinji, I was just undoing some things the techs did. I always have to reset some stuff they do to the control and interface scheme. They will undo it and 'fix' it after were done, but I have my preferences, you know. She gave him a half-hearted smile, but to Shinji she looked tired.

Shinji began to ask her a question about what she meant by that. She made it sound like she was setting preferences on an Operating System. But the Eva's are controlled with your mind, the controls only serve as a way to focus, its instinctual for people to want to "steer" the giant robot like a car or something.

But as he opened his mouth the look Rei gave him said many things. One, I know what you are going to ask and two, it's an answer that won't make an sense if you're not me.

"You ok? Whatever you were doing looks like it took a toll on you." Is the question he had to settle on.

"It is definitely not an easy task to do what must be done, but I will endure, as I always have."

"Huh?" Rei's odd reply had caught him off guard, it didn't seem like something she would say. "You sure you're ok?"

"Wha? Did you say something?" Rei was just as confused as he was.

Shinji felt as if he was in some sort of Monty Python sketch at this point. "Ok, let's start this over. That was an odd thing for you to say. You got something in your mind?"

"Why are you being so nice? Yesterday you would have preferred me dead to alive and now you're concerned about me? You are acting like I'm being weird, but it's you who are flip-flopping all the time." Rei was honestly confused with the attention all of a sudden; to her Shinji was all over the place. Ever since they had arrived in this world she had become increasingly concerned with his fluctuation between the man she knew and some sort of dysthymic version of Shinji, as if he was slipping back and forth between his past and future self.

"Me? We've both been doing it, we've discussed this a ton of times." He growled in annoyance. This conversation had become circular and they were going to launch at any second. He had just wanted to break the tension a bit before the fight and look at what had happened again . . . another round of accusations and defensiveness.

"Look, we have both struggled with consistency since we've been here. If you want to talk about that, we can do it later, but to answer your question I figured a moratorium was best for now. I want to make it through this and so do you. Anything beyond that for the moment is totally unimportant, so let's act like a team for now so we can bicker later. That sound good to you?" His patience was at an end, what little of it had remained that is.

"You're right. Game face."

At that moment their private conversation was interrupted by Misato. "You have ten seconds till launch, Operation Pinpoint is go."

The events that followed were a quick blur. As Unit 01 shot to the surface, Ramiel quickly withdrew its drill and turned to face him . . .well as much as a geometric shape can. As Shogōki pierced the surface world, a protective metal barricade rose with him, Misato's best attempt at Shinji's request for a shield. It was a twelve foot thick slab of carbon steel, capable of taking a direct hit from a MOAB. It gave Shinji .79 seconds of respite from Ramiel's blast. He hadn't even had time to duck or turn, which in retrospect was a good thing for if he had, considering where the beam was aimed his death would have been instantaneous. You try to convince your mind that the head getting blown off wasn't yours...good luck with that. His AT field gave way so quickly that it never even became visible to the naked eye.

The time it took for the attack to get from where Shinji's AT field should have been, to making impact drug on forever. When it did not come he opened his eyes again, but saw nothing. All of his monitors were dead, black. He felt something pulling him backwards, but when he turned to look he came out of his chair and much to his dismay, kept going. He reflectively threw his hands up to stop from slamming into the bulkhead, instead he went through it.

Through the entry plug, through flesh, through armor and into the world beyond. As he floated, as if suspended in aether, he realized what was happening. It was not his life flashing before his eyes. No, time itself seemed to have stopped. Willing himself to do so proved enough to turn him around, where he found he was hovering behind Shogōki's head.

Moving over his left shoulder he saw it, a forthcoming pain he could not describe with human speech. It was a few dozen or so meters from contact. He could feel the heat dully radiating from it even in this bizarre situation. Turning to face the competition he saw something he did not expect. In every plane of Ramile's bizarre shape he saw a reflection, not of the world around him but of something...alien.

Risking a closer inspection, Shinji began to make out some of the scenes. On what would have to do for a face for Ramiel, or at least the side attacking him, he saw a few scenes he knew. One was his escape from the Geofront right before he discovered Asuka in the final battle, but it was not exactly as he remembered, only close. He saw no other forms present other than Unit 01, six wings made of pure energy unfurled in anger. It was all a sea of red and orange as if the world itself was on fire.

The second he focused on was an exact copy of what seemed to be one of Asuka's old nightmares. She had described it to him a few times, right before their first child was born she had a reoccurring nightmare. He had chalked them up to haywire hormones, but he could see it now almost like it had been painted from her mind's eye. Unit 01 floating above the earth, dead and motionless, the lance of Longinus unfurled before him, a dozen wings just like those from the other vision. But these were propelling him at an ever increasing pace away from Earth, out into the inky blackness of space.

Moving carefully below the still motionless laser, Shinji found still more images. These were more peaceful, benign, but still bewildering. First was an image he had seen before, Rei floating a few meters off the ground. The ever present, glowing wings keeping her afloat. The image opposite it was simple. An image of Asuka's unit 02, but very different. Its head was almost unrecognizable, looking more like an armored helmet than a face. It carried what Shinji could only guess was some sort of propulsion system on its back as it held a two handed sword. The weapon was held more like the useless chainsaw they had used against the Jet Alone than any real sword would have been. Its long and gangly blade going on and on, it had to be a monster to use in any sort of effective manner.

Now caught up in his search, Shinji gracefully made his way to Ramiel's "back". Four more images were there to complete the picture. A variation of the MP Evas, with a midsection more like a bare ribcage that housed some blazing white orb, than anything physically capable of holding up the weight necessitated by its bulky upper half.

These four images seemed to tell some sort of story, as the first image was on the lower right, the story moved in a clockwise fashion. The next images was a battle between, Unit 02 and the MP, Asuka had struck a blow to what he guessed was the MP's core. But it instead shifted in color from white to a design akin to the twelfth angel. If Shinji took his eyes off the pic the changing form would repeat once and then sit still.

The next image had a more heavily armored Unit 01 escaping from some sort of modified version of Leliel. It appeared that it had been some sort of gravity well or something along those lines. The city itself seemed to have been ripped from its moorings and plastered on its surface and begun slowly sinking into the angel.

The final image was Unit 01 standing in the Geofront with Central Dogma, mostly destroyed, behind him. A hole in the Geofront's ceiling linked it to the outside world as Shogōki stood with the Lance, energy pouring out of its eyes and mouth. As Shinji tried to contemplate what it all meant he felt a pain building in his chest.

The pain Shinji felt was so immense that by the time Rei heard him scream over the com, she had already felt a building pressure on her chest, as if someone was trying to crush the air from her lungs.

In a flash he was flung back into the pilots seat, the jarring change keeping him from reacting in any way to the incoming projectile.

Shinji was trapped within the blast for approximately seven seconds, the shot following him down as Misato had his lift retracted. Ramiel's attack was so tenacious that even after he disappeared it tried to shoot through the earth itself to get to him, anything to inflict more pain.

2357 Hours Wednesday, June 3rd, 2016

Eight and a half hours after entering surgery, Shinji's doctors finished tying his last suture. Three doctors had rotated in and out of his procedure, as had all of Shinji's contemporaries and most of the command staff. Misato had been unable to pull herself away from preparations for the new operation, Yashima and come see him. Rei had not moved from the OR's observation deck the entire time.

Keita, Aoi, Hikari and Satsuki had all brought her updates on the plans for the next operation. Useless, but they didn't know that. The attack had nearly burned right through Ikari's sternum; some of it had been turned to ash. Artificial bone grafts and repairing the damage to his lungs were the major surgeries. If he hadn't had literally the best medical care possible on earth he might not have made it, something which was happening with startling regularity.

At the pace things were going there was no way he, or anyone for that matter, would make it through the war. Only the fight against Shamshel had gone smoothly for the pilots. Would Shinji even want to subject himself to this sort of torture with so many other capable pilots around? Rei's mind swam with doubts and questions, but most of all with concern for Shinji.

How could he possibly get up and around for Yashima? If he wasn't the one to make the shot could she . . . or perhaps Mari or Touji? She wished there was someway she could be Shinji, if only he was the angel and not her. Then this wouldn't be as big of a deal. Her regenerative ability had only ever been of any use to her once, as it was always Shinji taking the hits. But thoughts like that were for naught. This was just a new scar to add to Shinji's list. Soon he would be more akin to a pincushion than a human.

By the time Shinji awoke in his bed it was well into Thursday morning, as soon as he opened his eyes he heard Misato's voice from across the room. As she turned away from the window she came over to his right side and sat in a run-of-the-mill uncomfortable hospital chair. "Don't sit up; and I'd advise you to not try and move at all really. How do you feel?" Taking his hand as she spoke her tone was conversational, not either of the extremes that he might have expected.

"Well, I got to admit, I don't really hurt anywhere, I just feel sore and tight, as if I pulled a muscle in my chest. Is that good or bad?" Shinji was still a bit groggy and his speech patterns was slowly coming back into its usual alignment. After he spoke he yawned loudly.

"They gave you some really good stuff, so I'm not surprised that you're comfortably numb. But soon enough I'm sure it, the catheter and numerous other things will begin to, let's say, not tickle."

Shinji felt like he had just got his wisdom teeth removed, not taken a laser to the chest. The subdued nature of their conversation was odd to Shinji, but then again maybe that's just the drugs talking. He was inwardly glad that Misato was not a giant flying purple platypus bear, easier on the nerves.

"It's just after midnight, by 1400 we need to move out for our next attack against Ramiel. So by noon you need to let me know how you're doing. You are our best pilot and we literally have only one more shot against this thing. If one of the others miss then…well I'll be frank . . . you're never getting out of that bed. I know that's not fair to lay on you, but at least you are alive. Unit 01 has a hole right through it, Akagi said it's going to be out of commission for months. So if you feel like you can go, you will have to launch in Unit 03, . It's one of the mass produced models so were hoping for a good match. The Magi have been running millions of simulations, and so far the results are encouraging. So…"

"Please stop talking Misato." Shinji interrupted Misato's rambling talk rudely, not really in the mood for it. "You can give me all that crap later, but as my guardian, my friend, my parent, just be honest. That's all I want." As the fog partially cleared out of Shinji's head he really looked at Misato for the first time since she had started to talk. She was an absolute mess; she was disheveled, smelled like sweat and grease, bags under her eyes the entire nine yards. She hadn't slept at all since the last operation, obviously pulled in a billion directions and worried sick about not only him but the success of her plan.

How she had yet to breakdown was beyond him.

"I don't think you should pilot anymore Shinji; you're going to die. If not this next time then the one after that. You aren't going to live past fifteen at this rate. So please stop, if not your own sake then for mine or Asuka's. You aren't doing this alone, there are plenty of capable people who will fill in just fine, so quit. Now." To Shinji Misato spoke like someone who's tears were all used up, she had nothing left to give emotionally. He was taken aback by her frankness even though he had asked for it.

"I can't do that."

"I know." She replied, sighing deeply. "But if for nothing than my own conscience, I had to say that." She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the forehead and a tight squeeze of his hand before she left wordlessly. As the automatic door hissed shut behind her, Shinji could hear here converse with someone else, a woman. Rei.

The voices continued on for far longer that Shinji wanted, he had began to get bored waiting on them and whatever it was they were talking about. 'How long could it take to postulate that I won't be in Yashima?' He looked around for a morphine button as best as he could with his limited mobility but found none.

Eventually the door slid open and Rei entered. "I don't believe that Misato appreciated my brow beating very much." She said in an offhanded manner as she took up Misato's seat.

"Why would she let a subordinate speak to her like that. Beyond that, why would you do that to her? You saw the way she looked, that wasn't fair of you." Although Shinji wasn't feeling pain at the moment, he knew the tightness in his neck as he turned his head toward the threshold was a bad sign and was thus relegated to staring at the ceiling. An act he had done far too many times before.

"Oh, it was definitely a selfish act, but I just have to hope she knew that it was just me letting off steam. Moving past that though, this really starting to be a cliché or trope. Are you going to be laid up, nearly dead, or bearing a new incurable plague after each fight? It's hard enough on the doctors treating everyone else, you don't have to make it worse."

If Shinji blinked just right he could swear that Rei looked as if she was sitting on a sofa, book in one hand, beer in the other, half ass listening to what he was saying and just talking about whatever was coming into her head, paying no heed to the world around her . . . like she was the dad from Married with Children.

"These pills are fantastic."

"How so?" She replied still seeming distracted from the room's other occupant.

"Because either I'm disconnected from reality or you are. We are talking to each other but having different conversations.

"What kind of emotional response do you think I should have? Should I come running into the room crying like helpless maiden? Would that change the situation any? Should I high step in here and start spouting obscenities like a drill instructor? Will that make your wounds heal any faster? Should I do my best Hard Gay impersonation? Would laughter help your sutures close?" Rei's tone was even keel, like she was a bad actor forced to read directly off her cue cards.

"Fuck, what crawled up your ass and died. I'm the one who just got Simo Hiyha'd over here."

"Who?"

"Never mind, I guess that was a bit too esoteric. But my point still stands."

"I guess it's a concerted effort on my part to insulate myself from emotional body blows, like watching my best friend nearly die every few months." A bit of a smirk escaped from her control as she pulled her seat a bit closer to Shinji so he could actually see her.

"I swear to whatever higher power is listening I think I woke up in a Tarentino film."

"See, now I got that reference." This time she smiled honestly before taking in the extent of Shinji's bandaged form. "Hadn't had a chance to see what you looked like since you got out of the ER. Got to say it's an improvement over a few hours ago. They had you splayed open like a lab frog."

"Yeah, that's exactly what I wanted to hear ten minutes after I wake up."

"Technically it's been..."

"Ok, just stop there, I don't care and you need to start talking right. If you know your obtuse responses are a defense mechanism, then how would they even work? Again don't care about the answer, just stop. Really not in the mood." Shinji's curmudgeonly response coincided with the clock on the wall going to 0030 hours, 12:30.

Rei stifled a yawn and acquiesced, finally getting down to the business at hand. "Your father has started toying with the idea of using the dummy plug instead of me or someone else to replace you."

"Already? It shouldn't be done for a long time still." Shinji was as surprised as someone with as much opiate in his veins as he had could be.

"Only if you are going by angel number, if you think about it only as the passage of time its actually just about right. The other choice as his disposal is to launch all three of our Eva's and just try to overload it's AT field, a desperate move if I've ever seen one. Very unlike Gendo." Even though it was "night" outside in the Geofront and visibility from the one window in Shinji's room was just about nil, Rei found herself staring out it into the artificial black.

"He called in Hikari, Touji, and Kensuke a few minutes before I left. No idea what for but I don't think they had a third plan ready. The backup was Yashima, and Misato took you off the roster so now he's scrambling.

"He doesn't scramble, he's more like Deep Blue than a real person. He has an angle . . . we just haven't figured out what it is yet, that's all." Shinji was resigned now, wondering what would happen to him if his father deemed him unusable.

"Gendo is not some serial villain Shinji, so stop that. Weren't we just talking about lapses in personality continuity?" Rei pulled away from her window vigil and shot Shinji a disapproving glare. "Giving up doesn't suit you, never did. Think about it like this, we are pretty much following script from the first time. Yes everything is more severe, but it's still pretty much stuck to script so far. Next time any of us suffer a real injury isn't until the 12th."

"Leliel" Shinji's voice was clouded in memories, most likely reliving his ordeal within the angel.

"Exactly. At the rate things are going, that could be a year or more from now. That means a year of intense practice and a year of training for all of the other pilots and the completion of their units. The beginning and the end were the worst, and after tonight the initial gauntlet is over. So don't worry too much, let us take care of this one and you'll get your shot next time, ok?"

"You really think it's worth the risk? I took the shot last time, who knows what would happen if you took it?" Shinji may have intended his question to be rhetorical, but Rei didn't see it that way.

"What you meant to say is 'You may miss and then what?'" Rei got to her feet, not angrily but she was definitely miffed by a perceived slight.

"Oh c'mon, you can't be serious. You know damn well that it's not that. Do you want to rely on Touji or Mari or someone else to stand in the way of the reprisal I missed the first time so that means so should you. Mari has nothing to lose by ditching at the last second to save her skin."

"Her life."

"She isn't you Rei, you were obedient, she's an unknown quantity. I'd hate to lose you because she got scared. 'Cause if you can't make that shot, no one left can. At least not right now, if the new guys had their Eva's then I'd say don't worry. Reinaldo and Alonso are the right combo of good and bat shit crazy." Over the past minute Shinji's voice had been getting quieter and his speech slower. Rei assumed that someone watching had told the machines to pump him with painkillers again.

The notion that someone was listening to their conversation startled her and she looked all around the room frantically, for what though? Who knows, it was more a autonomic response to the realization of their frank talk. The room was most likely bugged if it had cameras. Taking her seat again she ran her hands through her hair and gave a ragged sigh. The stress of keeping up their facade only grew harder as time went on. Never being able to let your guard down is difficult, no matter your origin.

"What?" Shinji saw her look around in his peripheral vision and was confused by her distraught look.

Leaning in close and dropping her voice to a whisper Rei replied, "I can't expand my consciousness to determine if there are any bugs in the room without setting off the sensors."

"What in the green hell are you talking about?" Shinji followed up his question with a stifled yawn.

"What do you mean what am I talking about? Have you been paying any attention to what we've been saying? Incriminating much?" The look on Reis face was that sort of forced 'I'm totally not freaking out right now' look.

"You really think there is a bank of people listening to recordings in every room of the front at all times of the day." He said conveniently forgetting about the Magi. "That's ridiculous." Shinji now closed his eyes and crossed his hands in his lap. "Could you lift the head of the bed up please, I'm getting sleepy."

After Rei obliged him, he spoke on last time. "Don't worry blue, its already been said. Nothing more you could do about it now anyway." And with that slurred statement it was made abundantly clear that their conversation was over. Shinji had begun snoring.

As Rei left the room, she realized that she had forgotten to tell Shinji about the new timetable. Ramiel's drilling had been getting faster and faster as time had gone on. He would pierce the Geofront before dawn. By the time he woke up the battle would be over, one way or another.

"Probably for the best." She said to herself as Kaede Agano rounded the corner in front of her, Rei being her obvious target.

"We got our orders." She said quickly, turning on her heels so abruptly that even her short, almost boyish haircut trailed behind her, and began to jog back the way she came. Rei caught up easily and the pair made their way to the CIC.

0400 Hours

Huffing deeply, Misato pushed open the thick glass door leading to the walkway her quarry was on. The handle was nearly ripped from her hands.

"Oh there you are, I've been looking for you." Misato half yelled as she neared, the wind blowing her hair all over the place

"I heard you the first time you yelled Major." Rei replied not caring to raise her voice over the wind.

"When you didn't reply I figured you hadn't heard, you really need to get this whole military protocol stuff down."

On the seventh story walkway that connected the high rises directly behind where Rei would be taking her shot, she looked out at Ramiel. Studying it, to her eyes it might as well have been a block away but really that was none of her company's concern.

"I have been here far longer than you have Major, I know all about the proper way to do things. I am merely focused on my target. If you would be so kind as to forget my transgression I would appreciate it." Rei was already bored with this conversation, not due to any hostility toward Misato or any unpleasantness on her end. But she knew the exact words that would be spoken if she was found.

Shinji had relayed the conversation that took place at this time to her and anyone that would listen, far more than a dozen times. It did not occur to her that she should go hide or perhaps be anywhere other than where she knew the conversation took place. Odd how knowledge of the future can directly lead to it occurring.

The point was that Rei was bored, she could recite Misato's and Shinji's lines by heart. It would be like watching your favorite scene from your favorite movie until you could no longer stand either, except she hated melodrama. Misato was still ranting, in fact she had turned Rei to face her.

There was a pause in the tirade so Rei knew it was time to give some sort of response. Rei smiled and threw a curveball, 'why the hell not?' she thought to herself 'What's the worst that could happen?'.

"Don't you think it's unfair that you put Shinji in harm's way while you sit on your ass in the Geofront? He loves you and you keep doing your damnedest to kill the guy." The response she got surprised her.

Misato did not slap Rei. No, she sucker punched her, knocked her right to her knees. She never saw it coming.

Misato got on her knees and pulled Reis head up to look her in the eyes. "You may be the commander's favorite and our best pilot while Shinji is injured, but I will not put up with your 'above the rules' bullshit. As soon as this is over, if you're lucky, expect some time in an isolation cell. If you weren't essential staff you would be court marshaled and maybe even executed for treasonous behavior. I have no idea what gets into you pilots' heads, but this isn't some god-damned movie. There are rules and regulations in place to insure that everything flows smoothly. This isn't a game, we fail and all of mankind dies and you think it's ok to act like a petulant child? Fuck you, and the pedestal you put yourself on."

The voice that Rei heard in her head was Gendo's, an appropriate hallucination considering the turn of events

Misato shoved Rei backward to the ground, the wind blowing her hair around almost violently as she stood, cutting quite an image. "If you must know I told Shinji that I thought he should quit, I told him with you and the other pilots he didn't have to carry this load all on his own. But I guess I was wrong. If the others are anything like you then he has to stay, because I can't trust you to get in line and follow orders. You are supposed to be one of Shinji's best friends but when he needs you to step up to the plate all you want to do is bitch and moan? Well I am sick and tired of putting up with children, so don't expect any more leeway from me."

Rei got to her feet slowly, having to use the rail to make it totally upright. She was not in pain but having a hard time fighting the urge to just throw Misato over the ledge and be done with it.

"You came up here to try and encourage me, to tell me that I could do it. That I had nothing to fear. If I showed any hesitation you were going to show me Terminal Dogma. Well guess what Katsuragi? I went down there for the first time way before you even set foot on base. I know Lillith is down there, I know all about Adam, hell I know where it is right now. Do you? I know about the binding of souls to an Eva, I know of the graveyard and all those lost before they realized that it had to be children who did the piloting. So don't try to coerce me or Shinji or any of the others. You can't impress us with secrets, I know more about second impact then you know about yourself. I know more about Ramiel than you know about Shinji, so just stop. I am not scared of you." Misato was beyond flabbergasted, her jaw had nearly hit the floor as Rei had inched closer and closer to her as she spouted off facts.

"But for his sake, and the sake of appearances, I will act the good soldier. It makes things easier on you which makes it easier on me. Not to mention avoiding all the distress that it would otherwise cause Shinji. He's laying in bed just glad and lucky to be alive right now. So I'll go out there and make your shot. I'll kill Ramiel quickly and efficiently and get back onto base so that I can be there when he gets up to tell him that's it's over and he doesn't have to worry about this one. You and I will pretend that this never happened and be nice, hell maybe even end up real friends, who knows, right? Stranger things have happened." Rei passed by Misato and as soon as the door shut behind her the wind outside died almost instantly.

Misato got the point, 'never speak of this again'. How had her good intentions gone so awry?

Rei for her part yelled out quite loudly after she had gone down three flights of stairs. "FUCK!" What the fuck had just happened there? Misato flips out and how does she respond? By blowing her cover in about the most spectacular way possible short of just putting it in writing. In the back of her mind Rei could feel something smile. The notion made her sick.

'I have no idea what's going on here anymore.'

0458 hours, 17 minutes until Operation Yashima

The moon was not rising but rather setting as dawn approached. Rei was in the right spot, but there was no Ikari to be found. So instead of standing with the moon silhouetting her dramatically, she was huddled into a ball. Misato didn't deserve what Rei had done to her, as soon as the words had escaped her mouth she knew it. It was unfair, especially after what Shinji had told her not long before that.

It had just come out, same with her feeling after the punch. She deserved it, but all she wanted was revenge for the transgression. That's not like her. True she had never really known Misato, not like Shinji had, not even like Asuka had. Their conversations outside of battle had been fleeting, she could recount them all and not get more than a handful. But Rei's temperament was not that acidic. Had she done it to get a rise out of her? Had it been to just try and change things up a bit? What kind of boredom leads to irresponsible verbal lashings?

She makes continuity imperative and then goes off and does that? Hypocritical to be sure. Why are they having so hard a time just being themselves? True there is no frame of reference for what they are experiencing, but that seems like an excuse. Worse was the sense of satisfaction it gave her to see Misato so lost. Being happy had made her despise herself, she knew what resided within her but again, a crutch. So easy to blame bad things you do and say on your other half. . . a cop out.

Should she take personal responsibility and apologize to Misato? Would she accept some pathetic reasoning, a feeble attempt at clearing her own conscience? What if she started asking questions? How do you answer something you can't even begin to grasp?

All questions, no answers.

"What's with the Eeyore impersonation Ayanami?" Being in her own little world Rei had not grasped who had been speaking at first.

Unfolding a bit so she could turn, she was faced with a cadre of faces. Lee Strasburg, Aoi Mogami, Kaede Agano, Leos Ludvick, Marcos Reinaldo, and the one talking, Keita Asori.

"How do you even know who Eeyore is?" Marcos asked in Portugese as Leos did his best to translate it into Japanese. He failed for the most part, Lee had to get it in German so he could get the point across. At least he knew proper Japanese. Ah the joys of a multi- national organization.

"I thought that you had to learn Japanese before they let you come here." Aoi said to Marcos. He just looked at her as if she had three heads.

"Just be glad that Leos knows Portuguese. It used to be pretty common for Europeans to know multiple languages, not so much after Second Impact, everyone got really insular. You can understand why though."

They had come up to talk to her, at least that had been Rei's assumption. But once they got there, they had digressed into their own conversation. Something she found happened a lot with the guys from Nerv 01.

"Well, getting back to the entire point of this." Kaede said as she bumped Keita with her elbow.

"Yeah, we saw you on some of the security cameras and decided to stop by before the operation, you know pep talk and all that. Try and take your mind off of it for at least a second."

"I appreciate the gesture." Rei replied as she heard Leos quickly translating for Marcos in the background. "It's kind of ironic though. Not in the way most people use the word, which is incorrectly, but in the true meaning."

"Yes!" Marcos yelled out in Japanese, followed quickly by more Portuguese. The micro UN took over again and it went from Portuguese to German and then to Japanese.

"He said that he hates it when people use a word the wrong way. Then he said something about idiots who think they are so smart when they have no idea what the actual definition is. Leos said that he kept talking after that but none of it was important." Lee translated, a smile on his face giving away that he was holding something back.

The wind now started back up, having been dead since Rei's confrontation with Misato.

Aoi spoke up now, struggling to be heard over the gale force winds, her quite demeanor hobbling her attempt. "I know we can't really do anything to help. Suzuhara and Mari are already suited up and getting into position on the other side of the angel." She said pointing at Ramiel, who due to its position kept them all from being able to see what was actually going on. "But we just wanted to say that we know you can do it, that we got your back." She gave a nervous smile, obviously not used to trying to raise someone else spirits.

Kaede same forward and gave Rei a big hug, something unusual for a Japanese person, especially from one as young as they were. With their difference in height, Rei could see over Kaede's head that Marcos was flashing her a peace sign, while the rest of them were all saying some form of 'you can do it.' It was very obvious that whoever's idea this was watched way too much Shonen anime.

She lightly hugged the younger girl back and gave all present a smile and thumbs up. Not that she felt happy inside, but rather to assuage their fears. She wasn't scared, as they all obviously were, but rather nervous for lack of a better word. Something about today was wrong, off in that imperceptible way who's description is on the tip of your tongue. It was more than the day's events, which would have been enough normally. Before she got on the lift up to Unit 00's plug she looked back on the crowd behind her. They had fallen back into internal discussions and were no longer paying her any mind.

'What and odd group.' The thought to herself before turning her head up to her destination.

0513 Operation Yashima

"Reading show that the target will breach the front in four minutes. That gives us just enough time to end this before it can wreck any mayhem. Is everyone clear on their assignments?" Misato filled all three pilots screens in their final briefing, she had cleaned up and showed none of her earlier malaise or anger. "Operation Yashima, begin."

She disappeared from their screens as they each gave a silent affirmation to each other and then went into action. Rei had been in place for several minutes and had a shot in the barrel, simply waiting for the distraction. Approximately five seconds later she got it as the two units, 03 and 05, came from behind the mountain that had been their hiding spot.

The pair held onto opposite sides of a giant shield via mounting on its back, their AT fields overlapping in an effort to provide maximum resistance. No immediate attack came as Ramiel continued with its attack on the Geofront. The two units began to slowly 'inch' forward, not wanting to get too deep into its kill zone.

Abruptly the drill was retracted back into its body and Ramiel's core split into many pieces that began to bounce around its interior like a pin ball machine. After doing this for a moment the various copies all collided in Ramiel's center and the fight began. The angel shrunk to the size of its core before exploding into a shape that could only be described as a large soccer ball. The outer plates then flew off and started hover about a kilometer from the core which began to glow now.

"Here it comes Touji!" Mari yelled into her comm system.

"Bring it!" he yelled back in his best tough guy voice.

Ramiels shot was not like the one he fired at Ikari, no this one was not a beam, but a ball. And the attack did not progress in a straight line, rather it was blocked by one of Ramiel's projected parts. As the shot ricochet back it was again reflected back towards the center. Over and over this happened, the shot moving faster with every reflection. Eventually the severed sections began to move in and out as well shifting position in a manner that lacked any discernible pattern. The two pilots tried to follow it with their eyes but that was a losing proposition.

Rei, even with her enhanced senses, could not estimate when the panels would no longer be blocking her shot. She dared not miss, with the patterns their battles had been taking so far she feared she might not get a second shot.

When the attack finally escaped its confines one of the pieces merely pivoted to reflect the shot outwards. It struck the bottom of the pointed shield, who's shape resembled an upside down pyramid. The pairs collective fields were shattered with the first attack going up like a giant fireworks display, Mari's green and Touji's blue. The shield survived the attack but the shower of sparks from the AT fields rained down leaving thousands of small craters before winking out of existence.

The next attacks came at a machine gun pace, each one reflected off a different piece of Ramiel so they hit everywhere. The pilots put their shoulders into the shield bracing for the impacts, but hits were taken on all exposed parts. Shins, feet, elbows, shoulders, neck, head all taking a pounding. At impact the armor was either blow off or seared into their flesh, both incredibly painful, but to their credit they held the line.

Rei for her part was becoming increasingly scared, Ramiel was just a blur now. Taking apart her comrades like termites would a house, piece by piece. She heard screaming in her head to shoot, but she knew better, there had to be an opening. She reached out, probing into Ramiel's mind, just as she had done with Armisael. It was beyond risky, since the sixteenth had invaded her, tried to corrupt her soul, and use her to end the world.

She'd killed herself to prevent it.

Ramiel's barrage ended instantly, its opponents collapsing to the ground. All that was left of the shield was the pieces clutched in their hands. Ramiel collapsed down to its core before exploding again, this time taking the form of a spiked mace head. Its core glowed a bright yellow before discharging into each of its spikes.

It was at that moment that Rei's shot made contact. It went right through Ramiel's core and impacted the now former mountain behind it, partially covering Units 03 and 05 in a landslide. The core exploded within its spiked cage, blood painting its insides red. But instead of dissolving into blood as the others before it, Ramiel had one final attack. The energy-charged spikes flew off in every direction. They bounced harmlessly off of Unit 00's AT field and every Nerv section began to call back with the all clear. It was hard to hear them over all of the cheering though, Rei joining in as well.

It took over thirty minutes from the end of the battle until her plug was ejected. When the door slid open it was not a nameless tech as it usually was, Hikari and Kensuke were waiting for her. Hikari had obviously been crying and Kensuke looked downtrodden.

"Well this can't be good." Rei said as she crawled out, neither of them lending her a hand.

"The second sub command car took a direct hit when Ramiel discharged that last time. The first command car had been full so..." Kensuke was staring at his feet, afraid to look Rei in the eye.

"So who died?" Rei said knowing what was going on as soon as she had seen them.

"Keita and Lee." Hikari said breaking down into tears again. She lunged at Rei and buried her head in her shoulder.

'You really aren't cut out for this are you?' Rei though to herself as she held her friend. "Anyone else?" She asked with emotion she did not feel. It wasn't that she was uncaring, but the reality was that she had barely known them beyond passing acquaintances. She was more puzzled by the sense of déjà vu the news had given her. Less than an hour ago she had talked to both of them and now they were gone, just like that.

No hero's death, no going down in a blaze of glory. They had been killed by the stray shot of an already dead opponent. They had never even seen combat. Life is such a fleeting thing.

"There were six others in the car, but I didn't recognize any of the names." Kensuke said as he turned his back to Rei and Hikari. He pulled his head back up and strode off trying his best to keep some sort of masculine dignity. Vain perhaps, but in a way it gave Rei a bit of hope for him.

There was no funeral for those lost, nothing had been left of them or the vehicle itself, it had all been completely vaporized. A simple non denominational prayer was said for them out in one of Nerv's gardens. Hikari had gone, said there was less than a dozen people and lasted for maybe five minutes, that was what their lives had amounted to in the end. That fact made Hikari even sadder.

Unit 05 was written off as a complete loss, the differences in its systems when compared to the rest of the Eva's was so different that Gendo declared it a failed experiment. The Nerv base in Beijing had been ordered to send over its nearly completed MP, mass produced, Unit 07. Unit 06 was a prototype as 05 had been and was still in development. It would take a few months, but the final round of tests would take place at the Nerv base in Matsushiro.

Pilot Makinami said that the change suited her just fine. Unit 05 had handled 'like a beached whale' she claimed and looked forward to a newer Eva. The news filled Rei and Shinji with dread, just as the activation of 03 had. But that had gone off without a hitch so they help out for a slightly more optimistic outcome than having to destroy the unit with Mari inside of it.

Shinji did not wake up until late in the afternoon on June 5th, Rei was not there as she had wanted to be, Misato had made sure of that. He was not ready for the information that he received.

* * *

[* SAM = Surface to Air Missiles]

Editing now done solely by Fanf1cFan, thanks man.

I was pretty obscure this chapter, if you missed what a reference was about let me know and I'll explain it to you. But hey, Google and Wikipedia are your friends.

link to image directory (spaces are necessary so FFN doesn't neuter the URL like a tard)

https:/docs. google. com /document/d/1kGXnhfVt5QKb7hdQaw_wdZjPQr74pzTB1n3WwCp3I0M/edit?hl=en#

Pic of the Russian rifle

Visions in Ramiel's reflections

Rei getting in the entry plug

Rei in her plug, after the fight


	12. Putting out fires

**Preemptive author notes: This should have been done WEEKS ago. But my grandmother just passed away recently after suffering from dementia and multiple kinds of cancer. This is the woman that raised me after my own mother died when I was very young. So as you can guess I didn't really feel like working on this for a long time, for that I apologize. But it's done now and I hope you guys enjoy it!**

**PUTTING OUT FIRES**

See these eyes so red  
Red like jungle burning bright  
Those who feel me near  
Pull the blinds and change their minds  
It's been so long

Feel my blood enraged  
It's just the fear of losing you  
Don't you know my name  
Well, you been so long

Still this pulsing night  
A plague I call a heartbeat  
Just be still with me  
Ya wouldn't believe what I've been thru  
You've been so long  
And I've been putting out fire with gasoline

See these tears so blue  
An ageless heart that can never mend  
These tears can never dry  
A judgment made can never bend

See these eyes so green  
I can stare for a thousand years  
Colder than the moon  
It's been so long and I've been putting out fire with gasoline

Just be still with me  
You wouldn't believe what I've been thru

1647 hours, Saturday June 6th, 2016

"Hm." Shinji half grunted as he made his first attempt to sit up in bed. Mashing his teeth as he tried his best to ignore the pain, it gave him time to think up a much more satisfactory response than what he had managed so far.

"Did they suffer?" He asked, faking concern.

"Our best guess is that it happened instantaneously. Since they were basically vaporized, most likely their bodies never even had time to register pain." Misato's statement just seemed to stop, the meter of her speech implying that she had more to say, but had aborted for some reason. Misato sat in the ever present and always unpleasant hospital folding chair. For a place as loaded as Nerv was, why they didn't have better furnishing in the intensive care ward was beyond her.

"It's for the best I guess, I mean as far as death goes. No fear, no pain, just savoring victory and then oblivion. I hope that if I end up with the short straw, I get off that easy."

From Misato's point of view Shinji seemed almost wistful when he spoke of Keita and Lee's deaths. "How can you say that Shinji?" Pleading for him to rescind his previous notion. As she spoke Shinji noticed that the light coming through the thick curtain that had been pulled over the wall window behind Misato gave her an almost ethereal glow.

"See it as I do Misato. Most of my fights have ended up with me in here, near death. I have god knows how many inoperable tumors in me, kept alive only though the efforts of some of the world's best doctors and three super computers. I am currently undergoing weekly gene therapy, have moderate nerve damage, and a few days ago I nearly had a hole blown straight through my chest. Trends seem to show that I will meet a messy end, unless something changes soon." Shinji was not complaining, or asking for pity, empathy or anything of the sort, just ticking items off of a list and trying to make a point. He was not saddened by what he said, for he had long ago came to accept that if he might give his life to save thousands of others at Nerv, whether he wanted to or not.

Trying her hand at damage control, Misato gave her best enthusiastic response. "You make it all seem so hopeless, but really, I think you've come a long way. True, you have a long climb ahead of you, but trust me. I've talked to Ritsuko about you pretty extensively. She seems sure that the magi have come up with a way for her to forgo your weekly treatments. Something about positive test results on lower mammals. She got too scientific for me to really understand it."

Shinji appreciated what she was trying to do, he really did. He could see it clearly on her face that she just wanted him to not give up hope yet. She didn't realize that he had never given up hope, but simply measured his expectations. If he died, then he gave his life for something he believed in, he just had to hope that he had fulfilled whatever role had been laid out for him by his forced return to hell.

If he did make it through, like he doing his damnedest to, then he had an entire life of mistake that he could avoid. A far better place to leave to his kids, friends, everyone, we're talking Disney movie theme song level hopes here.

"Really?" He gave his best excited face as he slid out of his internal reverie.

"Yep, and if you ask me, if she can do that then something small like messed up neurons and knocking out those scars should be child's play." Misato paused for a moment as she rubbed her chin with her left hand. "Though I think they make you look manly, I bet Asuka would like them to." Misato teased in an effort to draw him away from their dour conversation, an attempt not missed by Shinji.

'God bless this woman.' He thought to himself.

"She told me I looked like Frankenstein." He said, giving a real smile at the memory.

"I can see how she could think that." Misato replied, aping Shinji's pleasant response. It was too bad that she had to break the bad news to him so soon after waking up. Would it have been unfair to build him up a bit before bad news, or would it have been more criminal to hit him with it as soon as he got up and then try to bring levity afterward?

"Is there anything you want to ask about before I go, maybe anyone you would like me to send down?" Misato really didn't want to ask the second part of her question, an adolescent urge to take some petty revenge on Rei still lingering in the back of her mind. But if she had not asked she knew that he would have asked for her anyway. After months of avoiding her like the plague, the day of Ramiel's arrival they had magically made up, at least to her knowledge. She of course chalked it up to teens being fickle, as they have the tendency to be.

The entire time they had been feuding, the one thing that had been off limits was why they were fighting, or even if they were at all. Shinji had oddly chosen to take the 'she does not exist' route. Internally she was still shaking her head at how ludicrous it had been, but then again they were teens, so nothing was off limits in the stupid department.

In the time between her confrontation with Rei and now, that had been a bewildering factor to her. At what point and why did they make up? Had they even? She had known from early on after his arrival that Rei was in love with Shinji, it had been blatantly obvious, the only reason Shinji had missed it was because, well, he was a fifteen year old boy. Hell, at first she had been surprised that Rei had seemed interested in him. Up until that point she had seemed almost asexual. But then again Misato had once gone from mute, near comatose nutcase to nymphomaniac in only a few months so maybe her frame of reference wasn't the best.

Misato had expected that it would end badly as well, since Shinji was head over heels for Asuka, a girl he had never actually met. Misato had thought that to be strange, but who was she to judge, really?

At first she had felt horrible for Rei and tried to help smooth things over between the two of them, but her efforts had met with so much venom from Shinji that she had abandoned it soon after. Yet here it was again, their bond seemingly reformed by battle.

"Has there been any word from Asuka?" Shinji replied, the answer he sought given away by his face.

"Sorry, but not yet. Most likely she won't know anything about the battle's outcome for a few days. Reports have to be filed and disseminated before she would have access to anything top secret. I'm sure she knows that the fifth has appeared and since the world hasn't ended, that you won, but anything further than that she would be in the dark. And even if she had asked to call or contact you somehow, if I was her CO I would keep any such communication out of her hands until everything was settled on our end." Inwardly Misato was beaming at his asking for Asuka first, but that was quickly followed by shame for again sinking to the juvenile act of revenge, and against a minor no less.

"But if nothing else, I will make sure that she can get a word through to you tomorrow, as I'd hate to keep you two love birds apart on your birthday." Misato tried to keep the light mood going by going back to her oldest trick, poking at Shinji. Anything to keep his mind off of her earlier news, regardless of how well he seemed to have taken it.

"Well actually today is my birthday, but I'm glad you brought that up, because it was going to be my next question. And yeah, anything you can do to get her though would be appreciated. After the past few days I've had, I could use some good company."

"Asuka is a lucky girl Mr. Ikari, if you were just a few years older maybe we could have made good company." Misato said giving Shinji her best 'sexy voice,' or at least the one that Makoto seemed to like so much.

"Please Misato, not so soon after I wake up. I'd hate to throw up all over you." The look on Misato's face let him know that he had just sunk her battleship. True it had been a childish shot at her, but the elicited response was what had given him the satisfaction. She had raised her hand as if to hit him, but quickly realizing his situation, and that she could not, she had no recourse but to pout. And throw him the finger.

"I would laugh, but the pain would be excruciating. Rest assured though, I am doing it on the inside**,**" He said, all smiles.

"Well on that pleasant note, you ass, I think I will take my leave of you. Do you need anything?" Misato got to her feet, gave Shinji a quick kiss on the forehead and lingered there for a bit, giving him the time he needed to get a good, nice look down her shirt. Since day one Shinji had looked at her with predatory eyes, as much as a child can anyway. And she let him have his looks, the least she could do considering the service he was rendering.

She had considered calling him out on it this time after he had burned her so well, but decided against it. Maybe she could make a man out of him after all. If she had only known the truth.

Feeling that if she let him look any longer he would notice her lingering, she stood up, wondering what he would do if he ever actually got a real look at her. Brushing that thought aside quickly, she motioned with her hands, so as to say 'well?'

"If anyone had plans for me previous to the fifth, tell them to keep them. Even if I am bed ridden, I want everyone to have fun, more so now in light of what happened. Can you do that for me?" Shinji kept his smug look on his face, partly from his quip and partly for the great view of her twin peaks he just snuck. A man is a man after all, regardless of his age.

"Can do boss." She replied as she left the room, the door sliding to a hissing stop as she began to make mental plans for the belated b-day bash.

* * *

1300 hours, Thursday, June 17th 2016

"Well, I'm not even getting drug into that quagmire. I mean it's like they took some old harem show and just hit copy/paste. I didn't think stuff like that really happened, it just seems, you know, soap-opera-ish." Commented Mari to her 'boyfriend' Marcos as she brushed a bit of her long brown hair behind her right ear. She was in her best party outfit, by her own admittance, which to Pilot Reinaldo's eyes just seemed to be the set of clothes that most yelled 'Hey look at my boobs, aren't they great?' Not that he could complain really, for they were quite nice and were currently his private playground.

Although its appearance on a woman in her early twenties would have been acceptable, it would still have been a head turner, not the sort of thing you wear to a birthday party. Its intended purpose, if you only guessed by the amount of material present, would have been to lure in unsuspecting males. The concept of the little black dress was an old one, but since second impact, fashion and old-school concepts of decency had drastically changed. The iteration currently donned by Ms. Mari Illustrious Makinami was made of suede and sleeveless, with a very low V cut on the neck line to accompany the slit sides of the skirt that went so far up so as to raise the question about if she was wearing anything under it or not.

Taking her drink off of the coaster that Hikari had insisted she use, she took three short sips spaced a good bit of time apart before putting it back on the table in front of her. Knowing that while she did so Marcos would not talk to her, seeing as how she couldn't respond, she thought a bit harder about his previous question. Being the natural gossip that most girls her age are, she had been a big part in the rumor mill that had circled around Rei and Shinji.

By her reckoning Rei was a nice enough girl. But she was far too Japanese for her and Mari to ever be really close. Ms. Makinami had spent the last few years in America and had come to fully embrace their way of life. As far as she was concerned the meek, quite, reserved, archetype that was breed into Japanese women these days was to anachronistic for her tastes. Leave it to second impact to set the Japanese mindset back a few decades.

The one thing that she had to give Rei credit for was her looks, Mari could tell that the aspects that gave Rei her beauty were innate. She didn't have to wear certain clothes or makeup to be attractive. And while Mari was more attractive now, when she was old and gray Rei would still have a regal aspect to her, her years hidden beneath an almost otherworldly air of… of what Mari couldn't put her finger on, but she knew it was there.

Shinji on the other hand, well with him she was at a total loss. Rei, this Asuka person, Hikari, some of the lower level command staff, and even his guardian seemed to love the guy. To her, Shinji was just some random Asian guy, nothing about him stood out. Even with near daily physical training he was skinny as a rail. Though he spent so much time laid up that upon further thought, maybe he deserved a pass on that. But beyond his constitution there was still a blandness to him, nothing in his face or demeanor screamed 'hey, I'm an ideal candidate for a long term relationship.'

Mari was not ignorant of his various artistic talents, but to her that made him interesting, not attractive. He would make an interesting friend, a great way to make yourself seem more cultured by association, and other things, but not mate material. His inner beauty and outer blandness seemed contradictory, but there he was, all wrapped up in a package currently restricted to a wheel chair. Why she thought him boring when she knew he was not, was not the kind of introspective dialogue she wished to have while at a party. So putting that aside, she turned her attention to her current boy-toy and began again to talk about things that interested him, because he was a good kisser and she didn't want any of the other girls to take her prize.

Across Misato's crowded living room Pilot Ellis Morgan could be picked out by his ever-present blue tinted sunglasses. His Nerv-regulations-be-dammed attitude had cost him three pairs so far, as Nerv did not share his fashion sense. Sitting on the floor, for there wasn't enough seating in the apartment for the fourteen occupants and more to arrive later, Ellis attempted to strike up a conversation with Touji. Touji was sitting on the end of the couch, amusing himself by watching Kaede, Satsuki, and Aoi try, and fail, to play some random party game on the Gamestation.

This amused Touji greatly.

"You would think Kensuke would be all over the console." Ellis said in an open statement meant to begin their chat.

"It's always weird for me when I hear Gaijin speaking Japanese, no offence man." Touji replied in his usual gruff manner, never once taking his eyes off of the spectacle before him.

"If you started to speak the Queens English, I would be just as put off, so no biggie." Ellis replied as he straightened out his plain grey tee, an old school hook up's shirt to go with his charcoal colored long cargo shorts, before turning to watch the TV as Touji had, figuring it was a lost battle to get eye contact out of him for the foreseeable future.

"But, yeah he was on earlier and they got mad at him for 'cheating,' and kicked him off. Said something about how he can't play with girls, I made a gay joke. It was funny." Out of the corner of his eye Ellis could see his grin widen, the gears turning in his head at the memory of his masterpiece.

Over the next few minutes Ellis did his best to drag a conversation out of Suzuhara, he tried talking about his favorite music, old anime he watched back in America, even about some of the various stories he was writing, horror stuff mostly, but it all amounted to nothing. Touji never gave more than cursory responses, deeming it fine to let his mind wander in the hopeless flailing of the avatars belonging to the trio in front of him.

"Hey, what kind of gel do you use to get your hair to stay like that?" Suzuhara asked a minute or two later, in his best offhanded manner, failing big time. He would never admit to anyone, not even Kensuke, that he envied Pilot Morgan. He was better built than Touji, better with women, hell he was even able to grow facial hair, yet chose not to. Touji wanted to hate him, but he was just too nice, it would have been like hating kittens.

"Want to trade makeup tips and then braid each other's hair later?" Was the response he elicited.

"Smug shithead." Touji said as he swung his hand out to his right, whiffing just over the top of Pilot Morgan's impressive dark brown spikes. It was now Ellis's turn to grin.

Rubbing the ubiquitous stubble he sported, he came up with a blank. "To be honest I can't remember the name. It's in a blue tube with a grey cap if that helps."

"Oh yeah, a ton." Touji snidely stated. "Let me just go up top to a mall and look around for it. I'm sure that there are tons of shops left open and manned by all the dead people." Touji said referring to the now barren and lifeless Tokyo 3.

"Then what good would it have done if I had remembered the name?" Ellis replied, bemusedly.

"Touché." Was all Touji could come up with at the time.

"Sssoooo…?" Touji asked a few minutes later, the luster of watching non gamers make imbeciles of themselves beginning to wear off. "You sat down here because you wanted to talk right? Well then say something, or go and talk with your stolen goods." He said, pointing to the short girl with dark brown hair who sat in front of him, Kaede Agano.

"I assume you mean my woman." Morgan answered, raising his left eyebrow as he cocked his head slightly to the side to address his ever rude compatriot. "She still seems to be enjoying herself by all the squealing, and if she's happy then I'm happy."

Touji made the sound of a snapping whip to go along with his gesture.

"I don't see Hikari around here." Ellis retorted as he turned around to scan the room.

"Touché." Touji said once again, "Fight."

"That's what I thought." Ellis said triumphantly. Touji grunted, not thinking it was very funny at all.

* * *

As time drug on Marcos Reinaldo managed to untangle himself from Mari so that he may 'own the noobs'. Mari had tried to help with dinner, but was a walking nightmare in the kitchen. Shinji had nearly run her out, as much as you can from a chair anyway. Not that she minded, she hadn't really wanted to help anyway, this was a party, you have fun at parties, not work.

As it passed 1430 (2:30) in the afternoon, the meal was finally taking shape. The topic at the table had long since changed to more 'pertinent' things such as goings on at Nerv, their training regiments, school and their significant others, past and present, all of it still in mangled Japanese. Dreadfully boring things to have to hear if you were Shinji Ikari, but he did his best to drown them out by concentrating on his helpers cooking.

He hated being trapped in his wheelchair more than anything, it made him feel like an invalid, useless. He knew people who did away with useless things. But he was assured that within a week to ten days he should be able to move on to crutches. It was not as if his legs were injured, the worry was a flare of pain could cause his legs to give out. If that happened his wound could reopen, something he also wished to avoid.

Under his shirt he was still bandaged from clavicle to navel, his wounds long from being fully healed. Luckily, so far his worries had been for naught and the pain meds had done their job well enough. Speaking of unbearable pain…

"So wasn't the sixth Pilot Ayanami's birthday as well?" Harold asked Hikari. They had been sharing pleasant conversation since the cooking started, she found him to be a most agreeable person and would make a point of becoming friends with him in the near future. Victor would have said that she didn't know him at all then.

"Yep, I know she was invited." She said giving a slight pause as if daring Shinji to say that he hadn't. "I'm sure she'll be here any moment, I mean for her this is sort of a victory party. She was the first one of us other than Mr. Invincible over there to score a victory." She threw her head to the side to indicate the target of the moniker.

"I don't feel so invincible." Shinji replied.

"You know what I mean dear, figure of speech." Hikari said in a sing song voice as she patted him on the head with her mitten covered hand. Turning back to put the finishing touches on the western style dish, chicken fried pork chops, she continued her conversation with Harold.

"It's like I told Shinji, there is no reason to have two separate parties. So we make it a three in one super celebration." Her voice rising to a crescendo as she finished the sentence. At that exact moment the front door slid open and Rei Ayanami, container for the soul of Lilith, joined the party.

* * *

As the door hissed close behind them, Kaji Ryoji and Ritsuko Akagi stood in darkness for nearly a minute before any signs of life came from the other side of the room. Even though this shtick was old and they had been on its receiving end many times before, it still got to you if it went on long enough.

At first it would be annoying, why didn't he just get to business and not waste everyone's time? Did it give him some sort of juvenile pleasure to see them squirm? Hell, could he even see them? It was dark after all. The idea of him sitting there with night vision goggles on staring at them for long periods of time before the lighting under the floor came on was preposterous, or at the very least ludicrous.

After the light had come on it was exactly fifteen seconds before any foreign voice was heard, just long enough to notice the light was brighter and hotter than usual. Instead of coming from across the cavernous room Gendo's booming tenor came from behind them this time.

"As you can see from the figures here," he said pointing past them to where his desk, and he usually were, to a seven foot flat-screen that came down from the ceiling. The tables and diagrams he had referred to meant nothing to Kaji and very little to Ritsuko. Gendo flipped through them much too quickly for her to fully grasp what they were trying to get at.

"I'm sorry sir, but I fail to see the importance." Kaji said, knowingly saving Ritsuko from losing face.

"Please do try to keep up with us Agent Kaji." Gendo replied before changing to his pièce de résistance. Computer simulations pitting the new line of Mass Produced Eva's against Nerv's own Shigoki. "Using telemetry and other data collected from Unit 01's previous battles, we believe that this simulation is accurate for all available parameters. Several million simulations were done in nearly endless permutations and the MP won 83 percent of the time. And that is only with our current dummy system. As we further perfect it let there be no doubt that it will replace our very fallible pilots."

As a short clip from one of the simulations ended, the monitor clicked off and the normal lighting finally came on, the gargantuan screen sliding back into the ceiling as Gendo's desk rose in opposition. Oddly enough the floor lighting, which now seemed more like a buried searchlight than anything, continued to bake Gendo's guests.

"This is good, is it not?" Kaji said wondering why Ritsuko had yet to speak.

"As long as the dummy system stays on schedule and our good doctor does not keep finding herself distracted running tests for her friends." Gendo's voice held no detectable anger as he finally made it to his seat and assumed his famous pose. His desk was void of life, no emotion or distractions, just a cold black surface.

"At first, sir, I thought it best to placate the Major and her crusade to save Shinji from the world, but her pestering has become insistent and time consuming. I would better serve the project by not trying to solve her dilemmas." There was none of the usual force in Ritsuko's voice. She was usually very self-defensive and feisty, today she seemed tired.

Gendo sat still for nearly a minute, his thoughts filled with Shinji and not only his role in the greater scheme but also the immediate concerns of his condition. It took Akagi clearing her throat to bring him back, a fact that irked him. "If you weight time spent now against time spent later and find one more efficient than the other I take it you will take the appropriate actions. I don't care about your interpersonal problems, only about the results of Project E. I assumed this to be understood."

"It is sir." Ritsuko's response was like a beaten wife's.

"Moving onto more important matters, I want to draw your attention to this." Gendo said as the screen again descended from the room's high ceiling. On it played a video. No audio was present due to the wind having interfered with its recording.

The video in question was of Rei and Misato's confrontation. As it ended Kaji was basically flabbergasted, that sort of obviously heated confrontation did not gel with what he know of Rei or his memories of Misato.

"Now it is important to comment that since then nothing has been made of this, we have no recordings of the two ever bringing it up and their interactions don't seem to have changed on the surface. So that being what it is, what do the two of you make of this?"

"I assume you are asking me sir due to my history with the Major?" Kaji asked, wondering why a spy was sitting in on what seemed to be a weekly progress report.

"Obviously." Was the curt reply.

"I've never known the Major to have violent tendencies sir. Even given the messy nature of our relationships end, there was no violence, merited or otherwise. Have we had anyone try and read their lips so we could figure out what was said?"

"Obviously." Gendo repeated.

'_Ok, this feels like a test, but why? I had already assumed he knew that I was a triple agent, that he only kept me around still was because I was of use to him. If I no longer was, Gendo isn't the kind to stage some elaborate game just to have me taken care of at the end. So what is the answer he wants me to give him?_' Kaji's mind raced as he seemed placid on the outside, a testament to his years of training.

"Well sir, knowing Rei by the reports on her only, I would say that there has been fallout due to her timid nature. But as to what she did or said to make Misato strike her I couldn't begin to guess. I can only assume that you suspect it is somehow tied to your son, and feel that it could impact her ability to command properly."

Kaji's response was not any answer, but rather a question designed to try and draw information out of the Commander.

Gendo did not miss that, but reveled at finally having some sort of actual mental opponent. "I would do my own research if I was you Agent Ryoji, Pilot Ayanami has undergone radical changes since the first angels appearance. With her recent estrangement from Pilot Ikari I would not put some sort of rebellious action out of the question."

"If that is the case then why haven't her case files been updated? Or just replace her with a new one?"

'_Now is the point where he tried to decipher my reasoning_'… Gendo thought to himself, And there it is He continued on as he caught the almost imperceptible shift if Kaji's face as he reached a supposed epiphany. '_If you didn't know then of course neither would the other spies we are aware of in the organization that we feed false info to. Now you will wonder why I let you in on this._'

It was these mental games of chess that brought Gendo one of his rare bits of happiness.

"Well, Operation Yashima went off without a glitch, so I take it that you haven't seen any dip in the major's operational efficiency?" Kaji knew he had lost the last hand so he moved forward, hoping to get through this as quickly as possible.

"It is of more concern that her growing relationship with Pilot Ikari will affect her ability to objectively lead." Gendo laid the bait out for Kaji, taking his lead in and adjusting it to his whims.

"Your son seems to have become a model soldier Commander, in spite of what hes been through, and what we did to him.' So I would rather focus my efforts on Pilot Ayanami. As you said, some rebellious action is not out of the question, based on what we've seen" Calling Shinji his son was a guaranteed point in any match against the elder Ikari.

Whether it was shame, anger, or perhaps some emotion that even Gendo himself could not name that elicited the response didn't matter. That it did is what made him react. Gendo was not one to make gut reactions.

"Attempting to get a rise out of me does not suit your needs Agent. You should eschew any further attempts to do so for your own health." Gendo made the appropriate response to Kaji's jab. It was how he expected him to respond so he acted his part, not wanting to give the bigger game away.

"Pilot Ayanami has the uncanny ability to evade detection if she wishes, so yes, do try and keep an eye on her. We seem to have the other two in question well under thumb."

Neither side got as much as they wanted out of the conversation, but one does not survive as long in the world Kaji lives in on luck alone.

"What about your efforts in trying to track down this Kaworu character agent Kaji?" Ritsuko finally interjected to break the battle of wills that had erupted around her.

"Well oddly enough if you match up Pilot Soryu's testimony with surveillance equipment from Berlin there is a distortion on all audio and visual feeds every time she supposedly encountered him. I have been unable to find out from section six what could have caused it, but they are working on it." Kaji took the out she gave him and made a mental note to thank her for it later.

"So you believe that it lends credence to her statements?" Gendo asked Kaji leadingly as he had done to him just a few moments before.

"I know Asuka, I'm sorry, Pilot Soryu, quite well sir. And seeing her physical degradation first hand, I don't believe that she had faked it. Someone or something was trying to keep her from interfering with the attack. With what happened in America and the emergence of Nerv's apparent infiltration, I don't think some sort of subversion can be ruled out."

"I agree. The unsettling matter is that nothing has been found. Either their skill is so great that we can uncover nothing, or the matter is not a secular one. I can't decide which is worse. I will be sending you additional resources with which to tend to this problem with." Gendo responded knowing that the money spent was going down the toilet, never to be seen again. He knew that Kaworu was Tabris and what that meant. When he had first received the intel it had chilled him to the bone.

Things beyond his ability to control were happening far too often for his liking, and nothing he did seemed to stem the tide. But it was time to switch gears again, having Kaji waste time on a known quantity was bothersome, but he had to so as to not raise suspicions on other facts.

"What progress has been made on the 667 code." He asked Dr. Akagi, baiting the hook.

"Well since its success is directly tied to the completion of the dummy plug it has been slow." Ritsuko paused for a moment as she gathered her courage. "Are you positive that any attempt to sway the pilots would be fruitless sir? I would have to believe that at the very least your son would be malleable."

"Pilot Ikari," Gendo stressing the words so as to get his point across, "made an attempt on my life not too long ago. I highly doubt that he would support any decision I made, no matter how valid or well intentioned. That, coupled with his recent trend towards independence, make coercion unlikely. I believe that agent Kaji can attest to that."

Kaji shuddered a bit at the memory.

"That being what it is I want you to reorder your priorities doctor. Number one at the moment will be the dummy plugs, followed by 667 and then repair's to Shingoki. What you do on your own time is your business, but you are not paid to indulge in personal favors, do I make myself clear?"

Kaji was not surprised by the commander's apparent callousness towards his son, rather he had expected it. But what had surprised him was the 667 code, he had never heard of it. Considering that it had been only mentioned briefly, he was puzzled why it had been leaked to him at all. He knew that Gendo was playing mind games, he just couldn't figure out to what end. The entire meeting sat poorly with him, he felt as if he was watching some surreal puppet show.

Various other topics were discussed at greater length, and after the better part of an hour Ritsuko and Kaji had been dismissed. As the door slid shut behind them Fuyutski walked out of the shadows behind Gendo. Without turning to face him Gendo began his questioning.

"Well what do you think old friend?" He said smirking a bit due to the fact that he knew that Fuyutsuki would sneering at him for the remark.

"Each of them has their own agenda, the Major as well. They keep them hidden, but not so well as to mask that they have them. It could be a hindrance to the plan." he said, emphasizing 'could' because he knew that they would not. "I believe that we should transfer control of the dummy program to Lt. Ibuki. The good doctor is becoming more unstable by the day, her poor acting job today is just another clue. She has too much power to leave on a long leash, soon she must be reined in. Ibuki on the other hand is a puppy, she would nearly manipulate herself if you even inferred some sort of negative repercussions for her lover." Fuyutsuki's voice was quiet and tired, matching his haggard look.

"Akagi's hatred of her mother and fear of living in her shadow, both literally and figuratively, have begun to show haven't they?" Gendo asked rhetorically. "And her pitiful excuse for a relationship with the Lt. has always been her biggest weakness, she knows that and I feel would be able to toss it aside in a moment's notice if it would save her own hide. But the reverse is not true, as you say." Gendo leaned back heavily in his chair and finally turned it to face his former mentor.

They stared at each other for a moment before Fuyutsuki continued on with his examination of the situation. "With the complete failure of all the S2 cloning experiments, I think you were right to go back to the dummy plugs. But the 667 is an Achilles heel, not your salvation. Let me finish" He said holding up his hand to delay Gendo's response.

"A backdoor into the dummy system is all well and good, but if you can use it then so can they." He said referring to the council and their real form, Seele. "If you think you can use it to better control third impact then so will they, because don't think you can keep something like that from them. They have found out about secret programs and information in the past and will in the future. My only hope is that you intended it as red hearing of some sort."

"If it was I could not tell you of course, so that question has to hang for the moment." Gendo replied neutrally.

"Of course, but getting back to something Akagi said earlier. She is right you know. If you told Shinji about the dummy system replacing the pilots, he may get on-board. You know he would quit in a second if he could. On top of that if you played on his fears of Pilot Soryu getting hurt he would be putty in your hand. He is a child after all." Fuyutsuki was a bit disgusted with himself, you could tell by the inflection of his voice. Explaining to a man how to undermine his own son was distasteful.

"I would have agreed with you not to long ago, but things seem to be changing. At this juncture I think it would behoove us to cultivate his new, more aggressive, behavior and guide it, rather than suppress it. Besides, he pushes the unit harder when he's having a temper tantrum, it provides better data.

"It could be anywhere from eighteen months to two years until the MP's are ready, so why risk another berserker episode?" Fuyutsuki knew that somewhere deep in that pit Gendo calls a heart he still cared for Shinji. Even though he never had children of his own he had to believe that all of this was some misguided attempt to strengthen his son for the coming hardships, that he would rather have his son hate him than be dead. But Gendo was a hard man to read, he would constantly give you false leads and contradictions, just to amuse himself and befuddle you.

"All the more reason to work on the committee. If we could get Soryu over here we could use her. I think knowing that she was around could serve as a way to mitigate his overriding of the limiters, with her we could more safely push him. Take him right to the edge, but let him keep himself from falling. But that is speculation, we need tests, results." Gendo began to get animated, at least for him, for the first time that afternoon now, making small gestures with his arms as he talked.

"Just another plaything eh?" Fuyutsuki mused.

"I consider myself nothing but a cog in a machine, why should he be any different?"

* * *

As Rei made her way up the stairs to the Katsuragi/Ikari residence she could sense the various emotions radiating from the party. Bracing herself for the worst and hoping for the best she let herself in.

The first person to notice her arrival was Satsuki Ooi. Her usual trio, having grown bored of video games, had decided to change over to movies. She was in the kitchen for a glass of water, letting the others bicker about what to watch. An old black and white American film began blaring out of the television, subtitled for their easy ingestion. That was when she spotted Rei in the doorway.

"Rei!" Satsuki's squeal penetrated the general bedlam with ease.

Pilot Morgan came walking out of the bathroom just in time to catch the beginning of Rei's mobbing in. Touji decided to sit out round one as he watched the Nerv personnel rushing the kitchen. Kensuke and Hikari had held back as well, a bit surprised by the warm and enthusiastic welcome Rei was receiving.

For her part Rei was overwhelmed, with several languages and bad Japanese all mixing into gibberish. As she began to parse through it all, Shinji's voice quieted the crowd.

"Give her some room people, it's not like she's going to run away." his words causing all the heads in the room to turn. Ken pushed him the kitchen doorway to the outside of the ring of people and then moved off again, this time taking a seat by Touji on the couch as Hikari looked on and crossed her fingers for a decent reunion.

"You look nice." Shinji said as he took in Rei's black sleeveless turtleneck, brown skirt with chocolate colored mesh design, and light brown beret.

"Thanks..." Rei said, her voice a bit quieter than she had expected due to her being a bit embarrassed by Shinji complimenting her in front of everyone.

A moment of awkward silence was averted by Hikari bear hugging Rei and nearly squealing, "I'm so glad you came!" She turned her head for a moment towards Touji and Kensuke obviously signaling for them to be happy as well. Seizing on his chance to get back into her good graces Touji put on his best approximation of Ellis's 'If she's happy I'm happy' routine, Ken following suit, as all good wing-men do.

After all the initial pleasantries were done Hikari declared dinner on and the Katsuragi/Ikari household soon resembled a military mess hall, fitting if you think of it. Small talk went back and forth between the assembled pilots, few of them missing the still tense air between Shinji and Rei. It was better than it had been but it was still like eating a meal with friends who are ex's.

After dinner dishes were dealt with quickly. At Hikari and Kaede's behest, the non-cooks set up a sort of assembly line so that they could get back to fun quicker, and that was that. While Rei put the dishes away, as was her assigned duty, she continued her internal monologue about when and how to get down to the brass tacks of the night's errands. Do it now so people can get back to having fun later, or save it for the end so it can't put a damper on the festivities?

The decision was made for her by the good old mother hen herself. "You look like you've been wanting to say something all night Rei, what is it?"

"I've been wondering the same thing." Ken chimed in after Hikari.

"Well it's not exactly the happiest news and I didn't want to ruin everyone's fun, so ya know..." Rei trailed off as she dried her hands off one last time.

"Things can't get much worse than they've been recently, right?" Kenny added, and realized he has stuck his foot in his mouth again when the rest of Nerv 01 gave him 'the look'.

"Its orders from the commander." Rei said all eyes on her now, everyone's apprehension apparent, the exact thing she had wanted to avoid.

"What's dear old dad got for us now?" Shinji said as he rolled himself out of the kitchen and into the living room, his memories of what his last order had done to him not forgotten.

"We're all being moved again, closer to the geofront. In fact most of us are going to be living in pairs now, in dorm style quarters."

"But were pilots, not single junior accountants!"Harald yelled, not wanting to give up his private room especially after he had just finally got fully unpacked. Mari and several other echoed his opinion.

"Look I have no say in this, you know that. He said that it's to bolster teamwork, but I'm not gullible or stupid so I don't buy it. I can't tell you why but I can tell you he said we all have three days to all get packed and ready to go. Some people will be coming by to move our stuff for us." Rei reached into one of her pockets and pulled out a printout of the orders and handed it to Aoi who was directly to her left.

"That's a copy of the orders, the room listings, and who your roommates will be. And before you jump me about it, yes, I have a private room. Shinji would have as well if he wasn't living with the Major. And no, I don't know why Suzuhara and Makinami don't get private rooms. They will be living next door to each other though, 203 and 204 respectively." She was only half heard by everyone though as they crowded around Aoi, trying to read over her shoulder or upside down if they couldn't get a better spot.

"Wait, were all going to be in this building now?" Satsuki asked as she moved some of her long dirty blonde hair out of her face. As Rei nodded an affirmation Hikari gave Touji a nasty look that he didn't see. She didn't like him living next to 'that slut' Mari.

Reinaldo, after talking with Ellis for a moment because he still couldn't read Japanese yet, added what Rei left unsaid. "Hey you're just going to be a few rooms down huh? Room 402 is what it says here, were in what 407 right now, right?" Shinji's sigh could be heard from the next room.

It was at this moment that Misato picked quite possibly the worst time, ever, to open the door to her house and stick her head in. She was greeted with a myriad of boos and someone actually said the word hiss as she walked out of the hallway and into the middle of a minefield.

"Hey, I just came to check up on -my house-," she emphasized the words as she walked towards the living room. "Well I see it's not on fire and there aren't any holes in the wall, so I guess things haven't gotten too exciting yet." She said jokingly, though no one laughed.

As she walked back into the kitchen the crowd parted for her as if she was Moses . . . or a leper. "Ah, I see you got it already," she said as she nodded her head towards the papers Aoi still held in her hands. "I guess that saves me from having to look like the bad guy."

Misato walked over to her fridge and grabbed a beer out of it, noticing a few were gone. "Just don't drink them all." She said as she lightly shook the can in her hand. "I won't tell you not to drink cause you'll just to it anyway, and besides what is a teenage party without a bit of underage drinking right?" She said as she gave Kenny and Leos a wink, not that they saw due to their eyes being glued to her chest.

"Is there anything you guys need before I leave, Shinji-kun?" She added just to embarrass him.

"No were fine Misato, but thanks for asking." He replied not fazed in the slightest, in fact he was glad she had shown up to smash the dour turn the party had taken.

"Well, all right. I won't be back till late tomorrow morning so just make sure everything is cleaned up by then and maybe I can make the location available again sometime, 'kay?" She said as she roughed up Shinji's hair and gave Rei a warm smile before she left. Was she trying to prove she was the bigger woman or just genuinely happy that she and Shinji had seemed to reconcile?

Perhaps a bit of both.

As Rei shook off her confusion at Misato's gesture someone spoke without being spoken to for the first time since Misato had come by.

"Well that was odd," Victor said in Spanish. Marcos nodded in agreement as the foreign language left everyone else looking confused.

Capitalizing on the reprieve that Misato had given them, Hikari, and surprisingly Mari, were able to steer the festivities back to just that and the night continued on as teen parties with alcohol tend to go. Kenny even hit on Rei, poorly, for a while after ingesting enough liquid courage.

'_Nice enough guy, but no, just no. Beautiful eyes though._' She thought to herself as she gently let him down and he passed out shortly thereafter.

As the clock on the wall passed two in the morning the last of the couples left, with sloppy, gross, drunken teen sex soon to follow for most of them, much to Rei and Shinji's obvious chagrin. Kenny, Kensuke, and Victor were passed out in what had, in a past life, been Shinji's room. As Rei finished picking up the last of the party's remnants she came into living room to see Shinji out on the veranda, staring off into the geofront's dome, a poor replacement for the real night sky.

The door to the patio was open and the fake summer breeze, as it always had, smelled...off. As if someone put an additive into the wind machines for the geofront that was supposed to approximate 'the smell of summer.' Whatever it was all it ever did was put a nagging feeling in the back of your head that something wasn't right. Most forget it quite quickly, but not Rei, Lillith always dug her nails in a bit deeper when they did stuff like that.

"Not good enough is it?"

"Not even a pale imitation to be honest." He said keeping his gaze 'skyward', "But it's better than nothing, right?"

"Debatable." Rei replied as she grabbed a chair a few feet from Shinji and moved it closer to his left side. "I had no part in the room assignments, you know that right?" Recalling a presumption she feared Shinji might have had from earlier.

"I know that, you're not that petty, and besides if I had really thought you had any say in how anything around here happens I would have exploited it from the beginning." Shinji said as he finally had his fill and brought his eyes back to earth.

"That wasn't very nice." Rei said, in a 'let's please not fight' sort of way.

"I know, I was hoping you wouldn't notice and let it pass. I regretted saying it as soon as it came out, sorry." Shinji was still not looking at her as he spoke, in fact he pulled farther away from her to get behind the veranda's only table, resting his head on it as he got there.

"Have a bit too much to drink?" Rei asked as she tried to tiptoe through the field of egg shells she still felt their conversations were built upon.

"I seem to keep forgetting that my old tolerance isn't shared by this new body." Shinji said to the ground as he waved his left arm back behind him.

Rei got his reference and got up to shut the verandas door. "Luckily I never much liked the taste of alcohol, only resorting to it when under social pressure. Besides I can go from drunk to sober instantly if I wanted to, blessing and a curse believe it or not."

"Oh, trust me I can buy that, easily." As he finished talking Rei took a new seat at the table with him, yet again to his left. They sat there for a few minutes in silence, Shinji not tired for some reason and Rei not really needing sleep all that often anyway.

It was Shinji who broke the silence by bringing up Asuka of all things. "I got a chance to talk to Asuka this morning; it was about this time in the day for her. We talked for a few hours, until I felt bad for still keeping her up. She never once complained about it." Shinji finally picked his head up off the table and had a small smile on his face.

"What did you two talk about?" Rei inquired, not feeling as if he brought her up to hurt her.

"This and that, mostly just stupid small talk, we can't talk like you and I do, or did at least. Not until she gets here. So we just have to be content with what we can get, but that's not all that hard to do really. Ever since...the incident, we have talked most every day. It's so odd, our relationship is better now than it _ever _was before. Even better than when the kids were still young, I don't know what it is that has gotten into her but it's the nicest and most understanding I've ever seen her. I just hope it holds, you know?" Shinji gave Rei a sidelong glance before pausing and then turning to face her fully.

"I'm happy for you, and I'm not just saying that, I'm serious. It's good to see you happy again."

"What about you though." Shinji said, noticing Rei's even countenance, neither looking happy or upset. "I'm not as dumb as I once was, I know what happened hurt you, even when you weren't being quite vocal about it. I was trying to hurt you yes, but there are times I can recall very clearly that I wouldn't have been able to hurt you even on my worst day."

"Why bring stuff like that up, it was literally in another life. It has no bearing on today at all." Rei said keeping her even tone.

"I don't really know to be honest." He said, falling into the Gendo pose as he thought. Rei didn't like seeing that one bit.

"Well to answer your question I guess, well, I'm not doing great obviously, but I am doing better than I was before the Ramiel fight."

"Is your happiness really based on our 'relationship'?" Shinji asked as he sat back in his seat and took his chin in his hand, rubbing it as he thought.

"Well putting it that simply doesn't do me justice to be honest, but it's a big part of it, yeah. You're my best friend and you threw me away for almost a whole year, that's not a little thing you know." She held her hand up forbidding Shinji from responding. "Yes, I know about what I did and all that, let's not go back there. Tonight isn't about fighting, the only reason I came here tonight at all was for this. . . one last attempt to fully bury the hatchet between us. If it doesn't work then I'm done, I won't torture myself anymore or cause you any more distress. It benefits no one." Rei didn't break eye contact with Shinji after he tried to interrupt her, as if she was trying to read his mind**.**

"That's awfully unfair you know? Knowing that makes it my fault if this ends badly, I know you're not trying to coerce me, but it sure plays out like that." Rei said nothing, keeping her eye contact with him.

"I wish you could just poke me in the forehead and end all of this shit. Get all the hours, hell weeks, of us doing this weird little dance out of the way. It's...annoying. The hoops I feel like I'd have to jump through, I..." Shinji just trailed off as he broke eye contact with her, yelling as he ran his hands roughly through his hair, felling like he wanted to just rip it out in chunks.

"See what I mean, I can't even talk right. All the thoughts and feelings I have are all jumbled up, and I can't get them all out right. It would take all day and I'd just end up repeating myself a lot and still forgetting most of what I really want to say and do." He started to fidget pretty bad and after growling to himself again**.** It was easy to see that if he could walk under his own power he would pacing around frantically. "And now I'm just rambling like a retard. This is... ARRGH!" He yelled a third time, so loud that Rei was worried it would wake his drunken friends.

Rei did not interrupt him, letting him go on like that for a very long time, constantly doing just as he said he would. Repeating things over and over, retreading old ground from their past arguments. Flinging unfair accusations, condemnations and other negative comments at her, his father and other people who had nothing to do with their current predicament. By the time it seemed he was finally starting to run out of steam the geofront was starting up its 'morning' routine**.** It was already after six.

"Why did you let me do that?" Shinji asked after they had both begun to watch the artificial sunrise, his voice showing the first signs of giving out.

"Because it was something you seemed like you needed to do. Stuff you had to get off your chest. Do you feel any better now?"

"I guess so." There was another long pause. "I'm not going to say that I'm sorry for what I did." He said, finally breaking the silence.

"You still don't feel you owe me that?" Rei asked purposefully keeping her gaze off of Shinji.

"I owe you a lot of things, I think. Just not exactly sure what yet, if that makes any sense at all."

"No, not really." She said as Shinji wheeled himself away from the veranda's banister and closer toward her.

"Look at me." Shinji commanded her as he grabbed her right arm and turned her to face him. He wasn't being violent but he was rather serious. "I..." He opened his mouth for the next word but it died on his lips. He broke eye contact with her for the briefest moment, looking to the ground. "The severity or duration, however you want to think about it was wrong. OK? That was wrong, but..." Shinji let out his breath slowly as if tormented by his own words as he let go of her hand and leaned back in his chair, taking his chin in hand yet again.

They stared into each other's eyes intently for what seemed like forever. If it had been scene from a movie they would have kissed, but this was real life. Instead Shinji got a finger pocked in the forehead, his response to which was looking at Rei like she had three heads. She gave him a beautiful smile and then it dawned on him and he started to laugh.

"It seemed like the thing to do." Rei said**,** emotion returning to her voice.

"I see." Again they fell into silence but this time it was finally different, it was comfortable.

"They're waking up." Rei said as she looked towards Shinji's old room.

"Already? I'm impressed, didn't think we would see them until noon at the earliest**,**" Shinji said as he started to make his way over to the door back into the house. "I guess you better come over here quick then, so they don't get any ideas."

"Are you sure?" Reis voice carried her apprehension.

"Do I ever say or do anything I'm not a hundred percent on?" At Rei started to give a response Shinji interrupted her. "Just get over here."

As she stood in front of him he reached out to her and gave her the best hug he could from his chair. It was awkward on both ends, yes, but it was a start.

And in the back of her mind Rei could feel something stir that she didn't like.

A few hours later in the shallow sea above the former country of Denmark, Asuka Langley Soryu killed Gaghiel. The roaring **'**beast of god**'** was the first angel attack that wasn't directed at Nerv HQ. . . At least that what the brass thought, but if that was the case then what was Tabris and Yamagishi?

* * *

Cat people (putting out fires), its lyrics and all associated copyrights belong to David Bowie, his record label and all appropriate copyright holders. I own nothing. PS, Bowie is a musical god.

Trying italics for inner thought for the first time, let me know if any of you have a preferred method. I'm ok with either.

A million million thanks to my prereader rob, hes the best.

Only pic this time is what Rei's wearing. I have no drawing talents of my own so if I cant find what I want or form what I want to what I can find then im sunk. Oh well.

https:/ docs. google. com/ document /d/ 1ARYQIcqdB9EBqiomE7tw2VYxBY_5L0866bA-OZW2Qbs/edit?hl=en#

spaces in url need to be removed as usual. FFN is still to dumb to handle them correctly


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